Ushiromiya Battler

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" ― Battler, when jobbing

Battler is the main character of the Umineko no Naku Koro ni series of VNs.

Along with Shuichi Saihara, Hobo Phoenix and Sminem, Battler is part of an elite group of mystery men, and has joined Phoenix, and Saihara in the ring at many points.

Originally an underdog, losing nearly every single match he's ever fought in, he remained a fan favorite until rising to basically be the face of TFR. He was the main character of the latter half of season 3, but has had and continues to have a pivotal role through the series even despite losing out on sheer screentime compared to other characters.

For a long time, Battler had yet to receive a (singles) loss on a finale, the only person able to break such a streak being another Ushiromiya himself. Nevertheless, he's a force to be reckoned with during finales, where he puts his best performances.

The Endless Fighter[edit | edit source]

"I, Ushiromiya Battler, am a man who'll stand back up even after crawling in the mud!! I've never had the experience of being invincible in a fight. I lost many times. But I'll definitely crawl in the mud and stand up again. Then I'll finish this!! In a man's fight, you don't lose until you accept defeat, no matter how much you get beat up!! Don't think I'm out just because you took a shot at me. Entertain me, Beatriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!!" ― Ushiromiya Battler

Ushiromiya Battler is a stubborn, hotblooded youth who refuses to believe in the supernatural. The annual Ushiromiya family conference leads Battler to rekindle his relationship to his family after six years of absence following his mother's death when he returns to gather with the rest of the family at Rokkenjima in order to discuss the matter of inheritance, as the patriarch, Ushiromiya Kinzo waits at death's door. While on the island, a typhoon hits, barring all travels. Stranded on the island, a murder causes the shadows of conspiracy to consume the residents of Rokkenjima. Is there a murderer among them, or are there other supernatural forces at work?

In The Final Rumble[edit | edit source]

Confusingly, Battler lands in the world of The Final Rumble, perhaps the act of witchery. Battler is content to engage in the entertainment, and has made many friends in this new land. Determined to prove his competence, Battler fights with everything he has.

TFR/Season 1[edit | edit source]

"Witches aren't real." ― Battler

In the beginning of TFR, Battler was just like any other wrestler, the only thing separating him from others was his tendency to job every single match he participated in. Because of this, he lost a decent many matches that should've been more than possible for him to win. For a fair bit of time, Battler was a joke, combined with his general obscurity to early fans, often being mocked for his nonstop jobbing, and his ranking on the tierlist being incredibly low.

Episode 5[edit | edit source]

Battler's story started to go uphill after Sminem invited Battler to a group of like minded mystery men in order to stop the Bogdanoffs, among them was Phoenix Wright who would become what is perhaps Battler's best friend, and Shuichi Saihara, a young yet talented detective who would help in their investigations and become a good friend. In the same stream that Battler's story started to develop, it was revealed that he ranked as the best Create A Wrestler character in TFR based on stats. By this point, the few fans that had cheered for Battler grew into a slightly bigger group, wishing to see Battler achieve his very first victory.

The event that swayed the hearts of many was the tag team match of Hobo Phoenix, and Battler VS ChrisRedfield, and his Therapist. Many fans will regard this as one of the best fights in TFR history. While Phoenix, and Battler lost in the end, the fight they put on was legendary, and won't soon be forgotten.

Episode 6[edit | edit source]

By this point, Battler proves to Sminem in his justification of letting him join his team despite his terrible performance. Battler's investigation on where the bogs have taken HUNK is not only correct, but the guy had already half-way escaped before Sminem's team even arrived.

Episode 7[edit | edit source]

Battler's second investigation was successful yet again, being able to locate the legendary Case that the Bogs tried to destroy.

Episode 8[edit | edit source]

Despite everything, Battler had still yet to win a single match, but was to be given one more match. Before the match, Sminem was showing Battler, Phoenix and Saihara that the Bogs were planning to take over TFR and use a broadcast to take over the world, but most importantly, Battler is seen wearing a shirt saying "BCW", which was official Bog merchandise. Smimem chastised him for buying the shirt, saying, "This dumbass right here bought a BCW shirt because he thought it stood for "Battler Can Win"". After this, BCW officially stood for Battler Can Win, as chat was now flooded with BCW.

The Mystery Masters celebrating Battler's victory against Kinzo.

Finally, it came time for Battler's match against his opponent, Kinzo Ushiromiya. With Phoenix, and Saihara cheering Battler on, Battler beat the ever living Christ out of his grandpa, and achieved victory. Chat exploded, fans cheered, and Battler looked like he was about to cry. He had achieved his first victory.

TFR/Season 2[edit | edit source]

"Magic isn't real nor are witches and especially ESPECIALLY assassins" ― Battler after BTFOing 47 once again

To start season 2, Battler now wears a cape, only meant for the Master of Rokkenjima. It is believed this cape has awakened something in Battler, as the first two matches he's appeared in for season 2, he's been practically 2v1'd, and 3v1'd with little to no problem. While those two matches were losses, he has yet to be counted out in season 2, and has even defeated Kirei Kotomine in a 1on1 match that ended in a friendly handshake and acknowledgement of the Holy. He went on to go into a Money in the Bank ladder match where he dislocated Arthur Morgan's jaw. As of now, Battler, who used to be in D tier, now rests forever in SSSS(SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS) tier.

Episode 1[edit | edit source]

Battler wearing his Battle Bib
Battler wearing his Battle Bib

With his new cape, Battler is now more powerful than ever, and puts a good challenge even in multimen matches.

Episode 2

Battler represents the Mystery Masters in fighting for contendership of the tag-team titles, and despite continuing to prove his unending jobbing days are far behind, he still can't survive in multimen matches.

Episode 3[edit | edit source]

Battler defeats Kotomine Kirei, however, their hard fought fight made Battler reconsider his standing on the holy, exclaiming that holy magic might be real.

This prompted Battler to give Kirei a friendly handshake, and the stoic priest accepted it.

Episode 5

During his entrance, Ushiromiya Battler is back-attacked by 47, but once 47 drags him into the ring to finish him, the situation reverses, and it is Battler who proceeds to beat the shit out of 47, leaving him no option but to flee after the match ends.

Episode 6

Obviously not having given up, the assassin would this time attack Battler in a more legit manner. However... in the middle of the match, none other than the assassin's previous target Max Payne, now bald and wearing brazilian clothes, runs in to attack Battler. Yet even this has no effect as Battler still manages to beat 47, who is now dazzled by being defeated twice by such an unimpressive looking opponent.

Episode 7

As it turned out they were partners all along, Payne now accompanied 47 into the ring. More than that, 47 had an announcement to make before the match: by calling Battler GAAAAY during his entrance he had attempted psychological warfare, expecting this to completely throw Battler off. But, all that did was annoy him, as 47 was Battler's first casualty during the match, and the Mystery Masters would go on to become the contenders.

Episode 8[edit | edit source]

Payne now stepped in to accomplish what 47 couldn't until now, and 47 had ANOTHER announcement, calling the match rigged and stating that witches were REAAAAAAAAAAAAAL. Yet, once again, Battler rejected his would-be hitmen, likely exposing 47's ego as freely as his head is bald.

"I would like to make an announcement: magic isn't real, nor are witches, and especially, ESPECIALLY assassins. I mean come on, remember that 47 guy, that agent 47; he kicked me in the back-he backstabbed me, in my grand fight against that... Brendan... just... whoever he was I don't remember him honestly. Then he tried to kill me, again, and again, and again, he's even seen me as his goddamn adversary... and look where it got him: nowhere. Hahahaha, ahahaha, AHAHAHAHAHAH... so as I was saying. Fuck magic. Fuck witches. And FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK assassins."

Episode 9[edit | edit source]

Battler and Phoenix manage to win the tag titles for the first time in the Mystery Masters' history, a feat after having tried so many times. Oh and Saihara was also there cheering on them I guess.

"I would like to make an announcement. First of all yes, magic isn't real, witches aren't real, assassins aren't real and... Minecraft isn't real at all. I mean look at that guy, Steve. Yes... he has beaten me last week, it's why I didn't perform that well today, thanks Wright, you-you really picked up the slack today at that titles match against those-against those "baker" brothers, I must commend you, you did-you did wonderful, honestly. Anyway, as I was saying: that Steve... he's just... he's... just... he's just, alright, he's JUST. I've got no words for him. I can only pity, his unfortunate soul for even trying to go against me. Anyway, fuck magic. Fuck witches. Fuck assassins. And fuck Minecraft. But... muehehe... Kioktofen. IS. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASED. That's right, it-it is based after all, muehehe. fuck you 47 you stupid cunt."

Episode 10[edit | edit source]

Gets revenge on that Steve guy.

Episode 12[edit | edit source]

Battler's jobber self resurfaces in a critical moment when Wright was out for a second and The Gym's deep dark fantasies come true as The Mystery Masters lose the title.

TFR/Off-Season 2: Tomodachi Friends[edit | edit source]

Battler now believes in magic. Fuck.

Beato lost to Aigis in a rap battle. Double Fuck.

He thinks he's gay. FAGGLER.

He's also at a 99% percent friendship with Chris Chan. Jesus fucking christ.

TFR/Season 3[edit | edit source]

""The Final Rumble: Clash of Jobbers and Champions""

Keeping on with his unending disposition to continue crawling no matter how low he is or how long it takes, Battler is determined to fight again for the titles after that last defeat.

Episode 0

After much speculation, Battler's match against the so-called "mercenary" arrives... that being none other than HANK, of course. Taking 6 powerful propanic neckbreaker, Battler ended the match with the power of a single Blue Truth Bomb.

Episode 1[edit | edit source]

Battler about to unknowingly receive the injury that made him Jobbler

Almost broke his fucking neck in a dive from the ring.

Episode 2

He broke the multiman curse and actually won.

Episode 3[edit | edit source]

Agent 47 sends Battler hate-mail in video format, mocking his loss which made his "deep dark fantasies" come true. Meanwhile, he's enjoying the good life as champion while pitiful losers squabble over who will have the pleasure of being defeated by him. Also Max got his hair back.

When Richtofen was discussing who would gauge Chris-Chan's current power without the stone, upon hearing of his "magic" powers he became determined to prove his power isn't real by beating him, which caused "the Battler Dillema", Battler went and beat the shit out of an innocent Christian Weston Chandler, however, might this be the very thing that causes Chris' rampage in the future? Was that Richtofen's plan all along?

Episode 4[edit | edit source]

Yet, Battler didn't fight Chris-Chan once, no. He fought him again, enchanted by the desire to prove the Focusing Stone in Chris' possession was not magical at all, at the apex of the manchild's power.

And he had prevailed once more, proving his streak undefeated.

When he lost, Richtofen showed up with a gun and shot Christine-chan dead. Explaining himself, on top of further testing the manchild's power, he wanted a good show.

Back at the lockerroom, Battler activated the stone and returned the timeline back to its proper place. Unfortunately, perhaps by his inner disbelief in magic, the transportation did not go well. 17 wrestlers disappeared in the folds of time, and Battler along with them. The stone was taken by the Doctor, who himself was gone in a flash, deeming his work in TFR's world done. Trouble's brewing...

And it brews even more, because Battler could not foresee that the Focusing Stone would mess with other versions of the user's selves, such as it did with Chris-chan and Sonichu, merging them. A similar such thing existed for Battler, a version of himself that never should have existed, had existed at one point, though only as an illusion, so to say. The stone left an empty hole after Battler used it that became something way eviler, way darker: giving life to Black Battler again.

Along with the other 18 lost characters, Battler was sent to the another timeline's Rokkenjima in 1986, trying to finding a way to escape and return to TFR.

Episode 7

Battler searched for a way to find the stone in this confusing place, never giving up.

Episode 7.5[edit | edit source]

Makes a surprise appearance as a cardboard cutout.

Episode 8

Yet, when he had exhausted all possibilities after weeks of searching, Battler was on the verge of giving up hope of leaving Rokkenjima, when miraculously, HUNK, who was still travelling through dimensions after the merge after "gently asking" Richtofen for his Focusing Stone, accidentally ended in Rokkenjima. Battler saw the opportunity and asked HUNK for it, but he refused. Cursing himself for not finding Kinzo's gold, Battler hurriedly challenged HUNK to a fight for the stone, knowing he wouldn't refuse, and his chances were low... HUNK accepted, and took him to another world's wrestling ring.

Battler was promptly beaten, nothing could be done there, even if not given up he could barely stand up to try and stop HUNK from returning him to Rokkenjima. But as all hope was lost, a "Nameress Benefactor" bought the stone for more that HUNK was offered, and so he finally gained the stone that would allow him to save his friends.

Episode 9[edit | edit source]

Battler gathered everyone who had been trapped with him, and used the stone again, returning everyone home as things should have been. However, when he returned, he learned about what had been happening, and as Saihara said, he was the only one able to hurt Black Battler and be hurt by him, as he was a mistake in our universe as long as people didn't believe in him. So he went forth to battle him, to the Final Rumble of the Black Sorcerer.

Having won, Battler went over the entire case again:

"And, with this, I'll finish you off! I will deny you once and for all!
Allow me to go over the case, one more time:
Kinzo Ushiromiya was alone when he died. The body wasn't found until it was already decomposing.
The exact cause of death couldn't be determined by our detectives. But the scenario doesn't point to a direct murder, like a gunshot.
The room was locked and contained no secret passages, therefore no one could enter or leave it.
47 claims the backstage attacks were done by "Black Battler". However, evidence indicates that it was the work of two people.
47's best friend and partner, Payne, has been missing lately.
At the same time, that fact doesn't disprove his involvement with the situation.
If "Black Battler" hasn't been able to directly affect our reality, he doesn't belong in it.
If "Black Battler" hasn't been able to participate on Kinzo's murder or the assaults, he hasn't affected our reality as of now.
Therefore, by declaring the following, I am denying your existence:
1) Kinzo Ushiromiya was dead the entire time.
2) The Agents of Payne were responsible for the backstage assaults.

As Battler was defeated and people were convinced of B. Battler's 'truth', Battler himself slowly faded from reality, as B. Battler took his spot, and everything became... black.

Season 3 Extra[edit | edit source]

Upon defeating the threat at hand, he went to the source:

Battler finds 47 in a room and confronts him; he was trying to hide evidence once again. Claiming that they found evidence of another part of his plan, Battler reveals there were rare minerals in his locker, which leads to believe he was trying to create his own focusing stone (but had failed to get the key material: E115). Also, he got the minerals from Steve, who disappeared a while ago. 47 claims it doesn't matter, but Battler reveals that the notes suggested his backup plan was sending Black Battler using the stone... to Rokkenjima, October 4th of 1986, the time and place Battler and everyone else was trapped there.

As 47 becomes distraught, he challenges Battler to one final match once and for all. Battler readily accepts, and adds the perfect place to end it: the Ushiromiya Secret Wrestling Ring, the very place where Battler received his training so long ago, and both went all-out, Battler even using a move he learned from HUNK... but Battler, at last, had lost to 47.

TFR/Season 4[edit | edit source]

It's been confirmed that Battler got amnesia from his last fight with Agent 47, and it's been decided to retire him from wrestling until he gets better.

Episode 2

However, it appears he has fallen into a coma, and is now fighting to hold onto his memories. Fight, Battler, don't give up!

Episode 7.5

Ba̢t͟tl̵ȩr͜..҉. ҉I'͠m ̵so͡rry.̛.͞. I ́c̢o̢u͟l̕d͏n҉'t̵ h͏e̡l͝p ̀you.͠.͝.

ẗ̸͙h̵̥͌î̴̟s̸͚̒ ̷̙̾i̶̕ͅs̴͜͝ ̷͓̚w̶͚͠a̸̗͗r̷̘̋,̸̮́ ̵̠̈́s̴̡͑u̶̺͠ŗ̶̓v̴̬͌ī̴̳v̵͙̓a̴̰̍l̸̥͆ ̸̠̕ḯ̷̲s̵͓̏ ̶͙͂ȳ̵̡ő̷͍u̶̇ͅr̷̬̉ ̵̘́ŗ̶͐e̷͎͌s̶͙͝p̸̍ͅo̷̼͐n̸͕̿s̵͓̀i̴̻̅b̸̡͂ȋ̶͓l̷͓̋i̷͉͒ṯ̶̄y̸̥͠

Episode 10

Battler... Battler awakens in the hospital, next to Phoenix Wright. He only remembers his last match with HUNK. But he... he doesn't recognize himself as Battler Ushiromiya anymore, he's someone different now.

Episode 11[edit | edit source]

Battler during S4

Wright reveals about how Battler's current situation came to be for Battler: When HUNK defeated Battler all the way in the Meta-World, him giving the Focusing Stone wasn't a coincidence, it was all arranged by Kojima. The stone was in Battler's hand and used it to return to his own universe, but it was modified by Kojima in such a way that it would synchronize with him and after his first defeat, would activate the first step to bringing The Final Impact. The stone had warped him to complete emptiness, save for Kojima at first. This is where his new universe would begin, after recovering the stone he used it to create a powerful magical artifact that would be linked to the very foundations of this new universe, the Script of the Mad Writer. An object that freely allowed him to change the rules and fates of his universe as he saw fit.

And to create this universe, he used Battler's very mind to sort everything out, since only a human's mind can tell what they should and shouldn't perceive. Battler had to experience every disturbance, every breaking of the laws of physics, every experience of Kojima's magic shaping the universe fully alone, in a place where even the very concept of time was distorted to last what seemed like an eternity for him.

When his memories had shaped the universe to be similar enough to the old one, Kojima returned him, where not much time had passed comparatively to what he had lived.

Battler's mind became so broken by such a torturous existence that he started forgetting things. The only thing his unconscious felt he could do was pick up the broken shards and become an entirely new person, forgetting everything about such an experience. Or almost everything, as he couldn't fully forget his friends, or the fight with that all-powerful soldier to save his friends. This eventually put him into a coma, and even presumed dead for a while. Until eventually, a voice called to him, a voice he felt he could remember, and he opened his eyes for the very first time again, yet not as Battler Ushiromiya any longer, for that person had already died.

Now awoken, Kojima wanted to challenge him, what was once the greatest of the "old TFR" that he hated more than anything, and Tohya felt he owed to Battler's friends that much. Kojima tries to push Tohya, who tries to ignore him until his match, but Kojima tortures him further. In the end, Tohya defeats HUNK, and Kojima's script is denied by the golden truth.

TFR/Season 5[edit | edit source]

Through Season 5, Tohya participates in the Death Game, making it barely out of death's door until he is, eventually, executed by majority vote.

Episode 12[edit | edit source]

The last trial is nothing less than a debate to find out the truth. As Saihara leads the argument fights, and all that is there to be found comes to light, La Parka reveals the truth.

His name is Mr. BANS, short for Battler After Not Surviving. That was the name he was given in hell. He was an amalgamation of the intense feelings left behind by Ushiromiya Battler's original personality mental death, and as such he only had fragmented memories. What he remembered the most was how everything started when 47 defeated him and gave him the the stone that would trap him, Kojima tortured him, and when Sminem showed up, he only took the the stone and left, being the final nail in his coffin of despair. Eventually, Kotomine Kirei descended into hell, and with underhanded tricks, defeated the previous lord of hell Mr. Bones who used La Parka as avatar, to unleash his caged beast. As such, he had the right to chose the next lord of hell, and thus by his wish, "Ushiromiya Battler, or what's left of him, to take the position", he became to possess the body of La Parka II and become second king of hell. However, he soon discovered that he had been "replaced", he saw his friend gather to the impostor Hachijo Tohya (not knowing that it was his old body) and chose to believe he was secretly his adversary HUNK, as it had been rumored he had white hair. He figured everything out and chose to reveal the truth, that everything was orchestrated by a group known as Team Rumble, who writes the demonic script that has lead to all the tragedies, that this is but the final of the series known as The Rumble, and calls for a doll that represents the mascot of it. Thus, this entire death game he orchestrated, it was his way of rebelling, he was not just executing people, but liberating them.

As the Tohya in the death game was a doll, he shows the real Tohya, whose punishment has been observing everything, and whose death he awaits the most for he is none other than Team Rumble's enforcer.

And more than that, he has used a body unfit for him for too long, and the real end goal of the death game is becoming his next vessel. Agent 47 steps up, looking back to how it all started, and lamenting his sin, for redemption, offers one last fight against Battler, an offer he cannot turn down.

As the last flame of hope vanishes, or rather, is banished, BANS can't help but laugh.

How foolish, to think he would show his weakness to the assassin once again, to repeat the same mistake.

Now that it was clear he won, BANS grabs his shotgun and puts it against Tohya's head.

His scream muffled by the gag, his friends cry out as BANS can't contain his enjoyment while he pulls the trigger.

As the reality of their situation sets in, the notions of hope and despair disappear, all that's left is but an inevitable death.

BANS forces them to have a rumble, The Final Rumble they will ever experience.

Date, Raiden, and the rest of the hastily-assembled rescue team finally manage to reach this accursed place, but alas, it's too late.

The Universe is collapsing, and there's no option but fallback.

The only image that escapes, is that of a skeleton, holding in his claw a thin figure of a man by the neck, surrounded by a pile of corpses and a priest.

Once the battle ends, BANS collapses.

That Universe begins to collapse as well.

Date, Raiden and the rescue team manage to arrive and get everyone out.

However, Saihara finds himself unable to cast away the focusing stone, and unwilling to bring it with him.

He thinks back on how the world where conflict is used as entertainment to avoid conflict, will unequivocally lead to entertainment creating conflict for the sake of entertainment.

Thus, Saihara rejects such a company that caused lives to be lost meaningless much like how Pegasus lost Erwin. Saihara rejects TFR.

Wright, feeling guilty, can't bring himself to leave Saihara, at least not this time. Thus, they task Kyle and Edgeworth to go and tell their story.

Saihara and Wright can't forgive Battler, but his suffering had reached such a point, where this was the tragic result.

As the universe crumbles, Hachijo Tohya utters the words that were longed for.

"Ushiromiya Battler, I accept you".

And thus, Battler rose to The Golden Land, and met many familiar faces who received him, smiling gently. At the end, a white haired man welcomed him.

Battler finally reached home.

TFR/Season 6[edit | edit source]

BANS and Kotomine Kirei are rumored to be dead since the end of their universe... but are they really?

Episode 3

Suddenly, BANS' forces invade the arena to wreak chaos, along with BANS, now possessing Miles Edgeworth's body, but it is far too late, for Rumble-17 is already set in motion.

Episode 5

12 years in the future, BANS Army is one of the leading forces of the wasteland, and in direct opposition of The Three Kings.

Episode 17

Nyarlathotep states that the thing that caused the downfal of The Bogdanoffs' original plan in the first place, the single thing that changed the course of the world... was Battler's simple "Battler Can Win" misinterpretation, the innocent sin that changed everything.

As the world ends, and a new world is born anew, BANS cries out in anger as he is defeated without ever getting his revenge, on Igor, on Grishka, on Sminem.

And thus, comes the end of the Battler who jobbed, who saw his first victory, who made friends with young promising wrestlers Wright and Saihara, who believed in Sminem, who always liked to put on a show, who fought with assassins, who obtained focusing stones, who was betrayed, who despaired, who fought to the end. And at his leave, there's left space, space for something to come anew.

TFR/Season 0[edit | edit source]

Ushiromiya Battler is a young man being trained by his grandpa, Ushiromiya Kinzo to take on the Ushiromiya Family's wrestling style, much like him.

Episode 1[edit | edit source]

Battler is all ready for his match, but Kinzo tells him to calm down, despite being overjoyed in the Ushiromiya's wrestling legacy living on. Battler instead has other ideas of how it should go, with him fondling the breasts of female fans every show... Kinzo shuts him up asking if he's really doing it for Ange after all, but then he is reminded of Beatoriche himself...

Anyways, Genji got a real, top of the card wrestler for Battler to fight as his first real opponent, for the mere price of 500 balloons. Battler is overwhelmed and can't do even a single signature move against him.

Episode 2[edit | edit source]

Somewhat disappointed, Kinzo gets someone a bit more midcard for Battler to fight with. However, not a single finisher is landed on his part and the guy proves to be somewhat too mid.

Episode 3

Disappointment settling in, Kinzo looks for the lowest carder, midgetest, twinkiest person he can find before concluding Battler as too incompetent to wrestle.

It's not an easy fight, but Battler manages to land his first finisher, and land his first win.

Episode 4

After a hard earned victory, Battler thinks it's finally time to go out to the ring for real, but Kinzo reminds him he only beat a lowcarder half his size, so for tonight he'll go into the ring... alone. That's right, not to cut a promo, he'll have to entertain the crowd all by himself. "Know yourself before you know your enemy". Kinzo hopes it's imposible for him to lose this one, but Battler might not be as alone as he might think...

Episode 5

Selling that good, Battler is content with putting a great show that Ange must've loved, and the ladies gotta love his athleticism. Even Kinzo is stunned and can't say a thing... because he got somehow pinned by goddamn thin air. He needs to train even harder, and has used his connections to make a perfect opponent for him.

Indeed, he has to fight against a robot version of HIMSELF.

Episode 6

Battler is excited about finally being able to make an opponent tap, but Kinzo on the other hand reminds him that his opponent was a ROBOT, in other words, they can't tap and was programmed to do so.

Kinzo decides to take a break from regular training. Battler is finally going to the ring for his debut, but Kinzo tells him they are only looking into outside opportunities, and so used his connections to get him on the tournament an old friend of his' is running. Battler wonders just how many connections does he have, but Kinzo tells him to hurry up before the already null audience becomes even less.

One last question is asked by Battler before he leaves, and that is where his robotic version ended up. Kinzo, obviously, made it into a sacrifice for BEATORICHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Battler's match was at NXT, where the showrunner put him against an experienced suplex specialist. In the heat of the fight, Battler forgot the match was KO only, and pinned the opponent for a non-scoring fall, leading to his opponent wining from a single KO...

Episode 7

After an embarrassing loss due to not paying attention to the rules. Kinzo complains that kids these days have no self-control or discipline, and for today's lesson, Battler will not be punished, tortured, nor whipped, something even worse... he'll have to stay still for 15 minutes.

Just when Kinzo returns, he's able to observe Battler failing his tasks once again, so he shouts at him that he will have to try and try again until he gets it right.

Aaahhh... It's useless! It's all useless!

Episode 8[edit | edit source]

Battler is still trying to stay completely still for 15 minutes.

Episode 9

Kinzo suddenly creeps out from behind him and calls his name to inform him that he's honestly surprised he managed to finally stand still for 15 minutes... surprised of failing in so many creatively different ways at staying still for 15 goddamn minutes, that is.

Either way, Battler will now have to learn from the ages of yonder. Despite Kinzo's allegedly great wrestling popularity, his matches are't easy to find. That is, save for one that Kinzo keeps dearly: a legendary bout against the Sonozaki Patriarch himself, the King of Aikido Steven Sonozaki. Battler might not be ready, but Kinzo will have to entrust it to him and he better take notes. Despite Battler's eagerness to carry his legacy, his efforts would be better put in not ruining it instead. As for what Kinzo will do meanwhile? search for any tapes of Beatoriche...

Episode 10.2

Strange versions of Battler show up inside Leon's Dream.

Episode 11

Kinzo checks on Battler, who was too focused on the tapes to notice him; he's astonished at his legacy and more importantly the man he fought, who was using such otherworldly moves it seemed like magic was real, and asks Kinzo if he could teach him some Aikido, but not even Kinzo got to fully learn it, since only only those trained by Steven could become masters. But taking his good idea, Kinzo sings Battler to a MMA competition, but when Battler asks for a few moves to use, Kinzo could only teach him a few submission holds... But no, he'll have to go and learn the full experience himself. Hopefully Ange won't be watching if it gets too bad.

After his defeat, Battler doesn't give up and tries again, so Kinzo talks with his friend Joji and arrange Battler against another MMA trainee.

Episode 12

Next, Battler is put against a long-awaited debut... an MMA legend... CM Phil.

Episode 13

Trains himself against the hottest free agent in the industry.

Episode 14[edit | edit source]

After Battler defeats that pitiful and weird cartwheeling man, Kinzo returns and clarifies that he did not call him there, but he came of his own volition to "create magic", although all he did was put a terrible match...

Either way, Gohda took care of him, and Battler must now move to his final challenge (which he eagerly awaits for all the big-breasted aunties in the front row of his upcoming profesional matches) to prove his worth: Kinzo himself. And he jobs because of a stupid mistake.

Abjected and defeated, Battler asks Kinzo why he spent so much money and effort training him, because he was his grandchild? Just because he needs his legacy to be carried?

But before that can be answered, Kinzo is knocked out by... Kinzo, who reveals the man before him just now was mythical Korean assassin Mee Ror-fes, who had distracted him with news about the intruder. He dreads to think what he could've done to Battler had he not shown up, or worse... his Beato photos...

Either way, the faker imitated what he would say exactly, and to answer Battler's question: both of those factors were considered, but what really made him do it, was that he felt like he belongs in the business, and that talent couldn't go to waste. Battler thought he was just beating his ass because he kept fucking up, but Kinzo tells Battler that in his golden days he was in a stable so powerful it might as well have ruled wrestling; yet it has fallen from grace, been forgotten, and needs to be rebuilt, and Battler is the only one that can do it. So, he wants Battler to become strong, strong enough to lead men and bring back its lost glory.

With such words, Battler is inspired to not disappoint and tries to run to his TFR debut, but Kinzo reminds him he needs to pay his dues: bumping for a dollar and a handshake. On the meantime... back to the tapes.

Episode Extra

Battler continues his training, this time he'll learn how to take the ultimate bumps. By the time he's done, he's gonna wish magic is real to not take his opponent's deadly diving headbutts...

The Darkweb Rumble[edit | edit source]

Kinzo is contracted by The Dark Web Rumble underground wrestling promotion, and brings Battler along as part of the contract.

Battler will try as hard as he can to win since his sister Ushiromiya Ange comes to watch him in the crowd.

TFR/Season 7[edit | edit source]

When Bogdanoff Championship Wrestling buys it out and fires them, The Final Rumble, looking for new hires, gets their eyes on Kinzo. Initially they plan to fire Battler, but Sminem takes an interest at him for winning the title.

Episode 8

Kinzo challenges his grandson to a final match to win the title of "Master of Rokkenjima", and Battler gives his all, but he still can't win against his grandpa.

Episode 9

Despite not managing to win a single fight, even against his uncle, Battler is put against someone with something in common, both were once champions for TDKR, and both were once jobbers.

And not allowing himself to disappoint Ange once again as she watches him on the big screen, Battler fights with all he has, and manages to defeat Kaidou.

TFR/Off-Season 7[edit | edit source]

He won the title holy shit.

TFR/Off-Season 8[edit | edit source]

Episode 8

And then lost it in a really pathetic way.

Episode 9

Participates in the TFR World Cup as a contender in the "Hall of Fame Talent" Tournament.

Episode 33

Participates in the TFR Championship Return Tournament.

Redfield easily pure strikes jobbler away and moves on.

Episode 41: TFR's 4th Anniversary[edit | edit source]

Saihara gets cucked by Battler also 47 and Lambdadelta are there too.

Then Saihara dies and Delta Squad rapes Battler while 47 verbally abuses him.

Episode 48

Tired of his jobber of a grandson fucking up the finishes of high tier matches, he hires Phi after something in his mind tells him she was the real deal to put him through some rigorous training, and having them have a match at the Tokyo Dome (he also paid for it) Battler and Phi put on a genuine 5-star performance.

Episode 53

Participates in the Contendership Clash Tournament.

The Extinct Light[edit | edit source]

Followed everyone in leaving for Amakusa Elite Wrestling, but... was it the correct choice?

Episode 1

Participates in the AEW World Title Tournament.

Episode 2.1

Teaches the young debut talent while still allowing them to shine without pushing his old talent style on them.

Episode 4

Things just aren't going right... the crowd didn't react well in any way... they think Battler is too ingrained in "the fed"... he has nothing here, no friends, no Ange, no Gohda, it makes him miss his time training. Everyone seems happier here, so, was he too impulsive in following everyone here? Or is he the problem?

Steve walks by, hearing his problem and his self-questioning if he should return to Rokkenjima and ask if Kinzo could teach him anything else (Steve asks him to say hello for him). But, Steve reminds Battler if nothing else he still has him, the one whom they used to get into some trouble together. If there's one thing life taught him... you need to keep on mining, past the coal and dirt, dig another way, until the diamonds are in sight. Battler finally gets it, a change of approach might be the key, and thanks Steve for helping him get himself together. Just remember to never dig directly down...

Episode 5[edit | edit source]

Battler talks with Geralt of Rivia about his new stay at AEW, and thinks how much simpler it would have been if he had just come with a new gimmick before debuting. He also thinks back on Steve's words... Steve really is a good friend.

He decides to take a rest in one of the backstage rooms since he's not booked tonight, hoping for some good dreams this time for once.

Then... the TV that was left on shows the newscast about a group of AEW wrestlers that have been reported missing; including Steve, Todoroki, Shrek and Grinch, who have not shown to today's Dynamite tag match.

Steve... this can't be... why? He put smiles on the faces of so many people... why him... why... is this happening? It's useless! It's all useless!


Then... Agent 47 breaks into the room. Maxerino is gone... and it must have been this filthy faggot who took him!


Since he said it... he really must have seduced and took him away! But he won't escape the professional!

But... Battler lost someone important too... the only guy willing to talk to him when he was down in the dumps... and now he's missing...

47 comprehends he doesn't really love Maxerino (and doesn't even know who that is). But if he's missing too... something must be going here.

Listen, I know this is weird to say to someone who was just threatening me a few seconds ago, but... What if we scratch each other's back?

Battler offers something unthinkable to 47: investigating this together. But in this case... since Maxerino is missing... there's no other choice.

Alright! Looking forward to see what you're capable of, Assassin!

...But you'll pay me 1,000,000 dollars if you fail.

Episode 6[edit | edit source]

After receiving a call from an eerily-trustworthy voice with a location, Agent 47 and Battler arrive finding Suou Tatsuya already there, 47 shouting that it must be the mysterious man who took Maxerino and Battler trying to calm him down. Next is Dante, in awe at the party being put here, as Battler is surprised when he arrives from seeing him in AEW backstage, although Dante doesn't recognize him at all since he assumed he was the only person who knows how to wrestle in AEW, on the other hand he has only heard good things about The Professional and hopes to see him in AEW, yet 47 asks for 1000000 dollars upfront and he's barking at the wrong Sparda for having money. Turning to Tatsuya, Dante wonders if he was called here too, but Tatsuya remains confused since he's not a wrestler (although Dante gets a strangely reliable feeling from him). Then, Kiryu Kazuma and Chris Redfield are the last to arrive, having been told by a strangely-trustworthy call that Date's fate would remain doomed unless they visited the place instructed. Tatsuya can't help but think he's the only one there without a goal, but something in him still believes there must be a reason he was called... maybe even something he's missing too.

Since they are all finally gathered, the Suit begins his explanation: the incidents that led to this situation all tie back to one common denominator, the rampaging monster they call "The Black Knight" that has taken over Coolsville Hills. Knowing of his strength and power to assemble an army, his superior has decided to take action, and assembled this elite squad by gathering everyone in this room. One of the Black Knight's abilities is to take over anything unable to resist his power, including people, so anyone he defeats will become "blacked", much like Date was. However, they have found a way to counter that ability, lying in a package next to all of them are special white clothes.

It sounds like magic to Battler, Tatsuya would have talked to Eikichi if he wanted a band, and 47 wonders if they stole them from his wardrobe, on the other hand it reminds Kiryu of the 80s and makes him want to sing karaoke. The idea amuses Chris who agrees to it after rescuing Date, Battler also hopes to come and 47 has no option but to follow too and make sure Faggler doesn't get too queer in there, plus might as well also demonstrate his Professional mic skills. Tatsuya then does an impression of a jet engine, shocking everyone else in the room, and Chris even comments it might be a better group in terms of vocal chords than wrestlers.

The Suit reminds everyone what's a stake here, and Chris puts his serious face when he realizes he's found himself a squad once again, even getting a bit nostalgic, but once they get equipped their destination is obvious, as the top floor of Coolsville Hills is where the Black Knight resides. It's time to gear up...

Chris: For Date...

Battler: Steve...

Agent 47: Max...

Dante: Prince...

Kiryu: Let's go. We'll bring them all back!

Tatsuya: In the end, it's up to us...

Everyone: To save wrestling.

They reach the distance where Coolsville Hills is already visible. Battler points out getting to the top doesn't look easy (at least for a bottom bitch like faggler says 47), when Dante receives a call from Ooishi needing urgent backup. Before heading to the meetup and splitting up, Ooishi's group was headed to a local OMW show hearing it was attacked, but Date was also there and "they" are too strong for them, they can't hold much longer. Dante needs to take a detour and hurry to "The Dark Alleyway of Wrestling" and Kiryu also jumps to go with him to protect Mizuki; Chris also wishes to go, but Dante reminds him that Coolsville Hills is the priority and they can't spare any more of them being distracted. Even if he can't abandon Date, Chris knows he needs to act as a captain, and entrusts Date and everyone else's safety to Dante and Kiryu.

Episode 7[edit | edit source]

Breaking through groups made of Blacked Coolsville Hills Security Guards, the heroes near close the distance with just a few floors between them and the Black Knight. But in the middle of their journey, their path is blocked by formidable Blacked warriors, ones they could call the lower guardians of the tower: The Grunch, Enderman, El Ogro de las Americas, and La Creatura, these are none other than their Blacked missing friends. Chris pushes Tatsuya to go forward while they fight these four and hold the guards with just the three of them, but just at that time Therapist arrives also in all-white, decided to not leave his patients behind, theRaping them in the ring if necessary. Battler suggests someone next to him could also use some of that since they've been uppity about coping with a shiny head, but 47 proclaims BALD IS BEAUTIFUL YOU FLAMING HOMO. Also arriving is Dante, since Kiryu handled taking care of the OMW victims by himself, to inform them The Black Knight has changed into "Blacked Nash" and his power has become... unfathomable! With no second to waste, they can't allow the Knight's power to resonate with Nash's body any longer, and Chris pushes Tatsuya and Dante up while he decidedly defends his squad, especially since 47 threatens that if he lets The Professional die... he'll kill you.

With the opponents defeated, the heroes get ready to deliver the finishing strike that will awaken them, but out of nowhere, all of the Blacked Security rushes to this floor, guarding their fallen brothers and spelling disaster for the poor little white wrestlers before setting their eyes on the invaders higher up.

When it almost seemed lost...

Hmmm? I don't think anyone is going anywhere. Now before we have a little fun~

Yeah... SOCIETY is full of cowards...

And we're not gonna admit any of that!

Like this wasn't enough of a joke already, the clowns arrive to save the day. Why? How? No time for questions when there's a show to put on. They swiftly make quick work of all the nearby guards and give the fallen legends good hard knock. Hope rests on Tatsuya and Dante now. On the lower floors, everyone wonders how Tatsuya is doing as they defeat the last of security. Just then, the last of the heroes arrives.

Therapist: Hey... I think we just got ourselves some late reinforcements.

Battler: Huh? What took you so long?

Agent 47: Yeah, real useful coming up now, when we're all tired and injured!

Chris: I... Didn't think you'd come... But you know how happy it makes me to see your face. Leon..........

Wright: We've been expecting you. I think you're just on time. Feeling fresh? You better be. There's a big task ahead of you. Leon..........

Just when Tatsuya thought it was all over, out of the darkness, like a beam of light, came a shining hope for them all, an unlikely hero. Leon..........'s best friend Ark Thompson! He got the call a little later, but he rushed to make it on time. Super Blacked Nash is surprised, but not even that can stop Terror that is rooted in Fear. Ark is surprised if that used used to be Nash, but Tatsuya is 'fraid to say so. The time is just right, so Tatsuya is ready to go for one more and do it. Make the world shine bright, like an eternal hot, sweltering summer!

With the time to end this, Ark thinks it's time to drop a cool one-liner like his friend Leon would, something like... JACKPOT! Both deliver a deafening double blow to Super Blacked Nash's head. But even with that... Super Blacked Nash still gets up. The King of Spades has one last trick to play, as he commands authority over the whole building since Coolsville Hills itself has been Blacked by now, and soon, both of them will be victims of its destruction, meanwhile he will survive it. Super Blacked Nash pities the fragility of humans, even both of himself before this form, beings who would be trembling in fear unprepared for the terror that rises, so weak. He thought only the money and the miles mattered before, but now sees the missing ingrediente clear as cum... The money, the miles, and the melanin.

Ark finds out the way to the rooftop, even though Tatsuya feels the situation hopeless, they rush out and still come with no way out. Just at the end of the line, when Tatsuya thought he was never going to find what was missing, that feeling in his heart, and why was he even here... all of their friends arrived in a helicopter!

Date: Guess who's back?

Therapist: You held out pretty well so far, guys!

Kiryu: Let's get out of here!

Agent 47: Yeah, hurry up! The sooner I get away from Faggler, the better!

Battler: Then why are you sitting so close to me? Personal space, buddy! You were the one who agreed with this teamup in the first place.

Dante: Sure is a big help when a old rival joins your side. I would know, I'm inside one right now.

Chris: Climb that ladder and let's get out of here!

Everyone showed up to rescue them, but... he can't let their efforts be in vain. Without finishing Super Blacked Nash, he'll unleash an age of terror upon Coolsville. Tatsuya urges Ark to leave, as even if the explosion catches them, he'll protect everyone. Super Blacked Nash arrives at the rooftop, claiming he'll survive everything, every more, every threat! But Chris has a better idea, throwing Tats an RPG-7 (Tatsuya wondering where he even got it) and tells him to make him become regular Big Daddy Bitch again. In fear of what he knows it's coming, Super Blacked Nash even promises he won't post Rikishi's ass anymore, but for Tatsuya, it's the Black Knight's time to become extinguished, as he rushes to him and launches it directly into his asshole.

...with the mission over, there was only one thing left to do. Kiryu kills it at karaoke as everyone praises him, since it is a hobby of his after all. Ark however could't come up since his friend Leon S. Kennedy had given him a secret mission. Battler urges 47 to try next, but he seems pretty down, as the Maxino, the heckin' Maxy Paynerino wasn't found at all even though they combed the building on their way. Just then, 47 receives a call from... MAXERINOOOOOOOOOO who apparently had received a free vacation to Brazil from a trustworthy fellow if he just quietly left and told nobody. Tatsuya even heard they serve a special delicacy called "Sopa de Macaco" there, and Date's mouth waters at the idea of those big booty latinas! Max is actually on his way back and was calling 47 to pick him up, but since he's got some friends around won't disturb him. 47 now realizes the situation he's in and is surprised when hearing 'friends', but both Battler and Chris agree as they were in the same squad and worked so well together. Although Date couldn't make it this time, Dante hopes they can go on missions together another time (he's not splitting his pay though) and Date wonders if his mags will work...

Observing this whole situation, Tatsuya feels as if things aren't as off anymore, he could find his place before, his purpose, but after this, he feels like he can see the shape of the puzzle pieces more clearly, like having found a light in the darkness, and soon enough they'll start fitting, so he just wants to say... Thank you. Battler also hopes to find his way, and thinks that after that mission maybe he can go far one day. Kiryu looks forwards to the bright future of those two, and Dante even offers to put a good word with Nero, if only he can remember his name, which 47 gently does as "Shit-Stabbin', Fudge-Packin' Ushiromyass Faggler".

Date just heard back from Ooishi, and everyone is also invited to drinks and Mahjong later tonight, with Dante accepting to go if pizza is also on the table. Chris has one final thing to say... as he should be the one thanking them all. And since their time is almost up, it's time to blow up the house with one last round, all together.

One, two, three... Go!

TFR/Off-Season 9[edit | edit source]

Episode 2

Dante's recommendation paid off, as he was given a prestigious title match right away as an opening match...

Episode 4: Rokkenjimania V[edit | edit source]

Enshrouded in darkness, it's all over for Battler. He calls a person in the distance to help... but it turns out to be none other than Uminogami. "The Unstoppable Force" Darkiplier commands Uminogami to finish off "The Powerless Pussy" Battler. Why did he even come to face him alone if all he was gonna do was run away? He won't be able to resist his power and die a horrible death. Kirei's spirit calls out to Battler in his church, but all it does is drive Battler one stop closer to being dead by Uminogami. Darkiplier even offers to fight Battler alone so he would not need to destroy his body. Kirei distracts Uminogami, and Darkiplier ends Battler's life, but his soul is taken by "the mastermind", as Kirei's spirit explains.

That faggot Battler thought he could fool 47 with his fake out, not at all! Battler awakens from his slumber thanks to someone's sacrifice, and 47 questions his "special brain" having more brainpower than any three-legged camel he saw in Africa once. But digressing aside, today, they're going at the reason behind all this: TFR is bringing in the big guns while going even further than family friendly; Battler thinks they're bringing in METAL GUNS, but 47 corrects the retard in that they're bringing THE FAGGUNS, a main attraction of a group of three hot young men, members of the faggot community and one even came out as having sex with an angel! Only losers like faggler come out as never taking any drugs or having slept with their sister... does he think he can hide being a dirty homo underneath robes longer than anyone? the truth will come out and 47 will be first in line to challenge him then! Battler finally gets enough time between ramblings to ask 47 why he hates him so much, but 47 rebutes him that it's not hate, but pure unadulterated justice, he just doesn't understand the ways of the righteous hand! His holy dick, if you will, is what will bring down your filthy homosexual kingdom, as the truth sets this homo free! And now it's time to expose one of those cowards hiding behind a mask: Zecchou! and soon enough, the old man mastermind behind all this who has been following them in secret! He's been using his connections within TFR to set up this entire thing: step 1, get rid of the three champions! Step 2, deal with 47 personally since he's the one brave enough to confront the homos directly! Step 3, take care of Zecchou, whose mask makes him look like he's shitting out of his ass! Through all the ramblings, Battler picks up that the next thing is following Zecchou.

When Ushiromiya Battler and Agent 47 arrive at The Great Destroyer's hideout, Zecchou tells them that they sure took their time getting here, as Battler is surprised he knew they'd come, but they can see everything after all. The moment Battler came back to life, he was already under his surveillance; much as everyone else in Coolsville (including himself 47 proclaims, although it's not something to be proud of...). Either way, Battler and 47 are here to put an end to madness, but if they want to get to The Great Destroyer, they'll have to pass through his right-hand first... but in the end, they'll end up joining them the same as everyone else... for some, it's resurrection of a loved one, for others, it's eternal youth... but for Zecchou? there's just something really cool about being part of a big group like that; those are the thoughts that led him to follow The Great Destroyer. Battler can't believe he would follow his plans of annihilation because "he thinks he's cool" (47 thinks he's a faggot)—either way Battler is ready to fight, but 47 stops the homo, because this one, a fellow specialist in killing, is for himself. Zecchou prepares himself to bring the pain to the former leader of the Knights of Ren. Hearing of the legendary group, Battler wonders, but 47 tells him there's no time when he has a target to eliminate.

The arrival of an old man, Dumblefer, puts a stop to the fight, as 47 wonders who he is, before Zecchou kneels under his master. He really wasn't expecting to see Battler again, who had already forgotten he had died, which annoys Dumblefer upon seeing such an oblivious man challenge his plan that took such time and effort to elaborate and execute: To make Darkiplier and Lightiplier fight each other, to cause chaos and divide in Coolsville, to end it all once they are out of the picture... how could this weakling challenge his likes? how could he stand a chance against even NXT lowcarders like Lars Lassiter? And yet, he's the one to stand up to him? (47 claims he could do it if he wasn't busy with his underling, and Zecchou wants to start the fight over). Dumblefer calls it hopeless, despite him being an alright guy. Asking why he stepped out here instead of staying in the safety of his wheelchair, Dumblefer replies Zecchou that when the clock strikes 12, he shall end all of their hopes and dreams; those who still believe in the return of the four beloved Kings, those who cheer for the men in masks, those who still wish to restore the former glory of Coolsville... all of them will be brought down from their arrogance. He came out to stomp an ant, that's all Battler is to him, he'll need to revive a hundred times more if he hopes to match his power. Does he even have any idea of how old he is? how many lifespans he has endured? as long as he has walked this earth, there have been countless failures of rebellion, men who dared to dream of a better world only to be crushed by it. Battler is shocked at the prospect of him being literally older than dirt, and Zecchou asks if his master is really planning to kill them all. He says that there's a point where all life ends, and when that happens, what is it worth living for? His goal is, to bring about the death of all human hope. To extinguish every last spark of desire. To put an end to all dreams. After hearing that, Zecchou can't help but think, isn't that just... really fucking cool? But Battler has had enough of The Great Destroyer and steps up to finally do his job, yet Dumblefer is less than amused, he understands nothing, his role in the story is none, it had no meaning and he died before he understood even that... and that's why Battler won't let it happen a second time. Dumblefer gets ready to unleash the full power of the one known as The Great Destroyer of Worlds.

Well done Battler, well done. HOWEVER... it's time he commences his final strike! Battler desperately searches for his cape bib, but before Dumblefer can end everything... he tripped and broke his neck. Battler guesses that death is swift for all men after all, especially those his age... "The Great Destroyer"... guess the only thing he destroyed was his own body. Battler returns to Rokkenjima, and thinks about how it wasn't so bad (except for all of those they lost), and now, it's time to go check on everyone.

...they really did it, huh? As Battler says, Coolsville is theirs once more, and it's great to see all his friends partying! Even Kinzo shows up to congratulate his grandson on how proud he made him. Bevi wonders who is the guy wasting food, as Date is pained at potatoes and meat always being in parties. Saihara Shuichi is glad to be back, what with being turned into an evil animatronic and everything. Power just wants to take a nap for a bit... nappiiiiiiiii... but if everyone is having fun, so can she! Clip2 figured he'd show up too, heh, since it took plenty effort on his end aswell, also teleported Steve along to get some loot. Hostage1 is glad to drink something that isn't amogus liquid for once. Ryan Rave arrives in great spirits to congratulate Battler too! Battler thanks everyone for being there for him, and allowing him to become the best version of himself... and now, he's ready to become King of Coolsville! Because when the clock strikes twelve... it'll be midnight... and he'll still be a faggot then, adds 47. A Noble Voice announces, as the tale concludes, of how this was the story of how a group of "ordinary" men and women took down one of the most powerful beings in all of history: This is the story... of when Coolsville rumbled.

Episode 5: Christmas Miracle Special

Santa Kinzo arrives to deliver gifts to everyone! But most importantly, his grandson Battler. In fact, Battler received a gift from Agent 47! A strange and extremely big phallic object comes out of the box, and it reads:


Battler wonders what he could have done to deserve such a gift, and wonders if he's in the naughty list. Worriedly, Battler proclaims he'll send an apology letter, making Kinzo wonder why he would need to when Santa is in front of him, but there's no tricking Battler now that he's all grownup—he knows Kinzo only DELIVERS the presents in Santa's name, and Kinzo awkwardly accepts to deliver the letter.

Taking a better look into his beautiful present, Battler begins giggling, then laughing at it, as Kinzo stands confused. Why, it's got a funny shape, it has "GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" written in big flashy letters, and it's got to have been awkward to acquire it! Kinzo notes his grandson actually looks quite happy, and gives him a second present: a mysterious envelope with no name nor address. It reads...

At the turn of the year, once the clock hits midnight... We will return.

Written in a strange riddling way... is it a joke? Another prank? Kinzo has no idea, nor does Battler; maybe someone prepared a party for him? Or a friend decided to visit?

Well, gotta wait and see.

TFR/Season 8[edit | edit source]

After the strange "mission" he was roped into following, Battler continues trying his best to make justice to the Ushiromiya lineage, completely unbeknownst of the importance of the events past and yet to come.

Episode 1

Puts his heart into defeating a member of the 'AEW Royal Family' and, with one final desperate attack, does it.

Episode 2

Nero comes out to the ring to, once again, ask: So... what does the audience want to talk about? First of all, last week's match must've surprised everyone, when avid up-and-comer Battler seized the opportunity and defeated his father Vergil. Nero ran into that ring in fact, and was able to determine the passion when being face-to-face to that young wrestler, the heart and determination. But he could also sense the one thing stopping him from breaking that glass ceiling, grabbing the brass ring, and making it to the next level here... he's been trying to get rid of it, giving his best, but it's not enough. But will AEW let potential like that go to waste? The answer is obvious, and he'll even do what Wright failed to do with his "Mystery Masters", because he'll create his own, the "Elite Enigmas", but instead of letting them fail, he'll provide them proper guidance as a true role model, and sure as hell won't betray them or anyone in this company! And to prove they're being reborn in this company, the third member alongside Battler and Nero himself will be... Kaidou Shun. This way, Battler will atone for his sin against all those that joined forces to defeat TFR.

Battler and Kaidou are put against the very champions, and Nero behind them gets the first row seat to witness the future of the business born from the sinful past. Both young competitors do their absolute best and save each other many times, but in the end they can't defeat the reigning top brass.

Episode 3

What Nero saw last week from Battler and Kaidou was good, taking the champions to their limits, but still there's chemistry to be improved. First of all... Battler has to say sorry. Battler is confused until Nero explains he has to apologize for "burying" Kaidou before any real growth can be made; Battler hastily apologizes for his "bad one" that time, but Kaidou cares not for the past, but for "you" in the present and who you'll be in the future, as long he's at his side helping to take down the Dark Reunion and their puppets in the fed, it's all good! Battler gets all fired up and says to aim for the top together, so Nero proposes to bond together with a videogame tournament. Battler accepts and Kaidou declares their battle "shall decide the fate of the world", so they follow Nero to his tour bus to play halo.

But... from the corner, Rakesh wonders... why didn't Kaidou invite him...?

Episode 4

Nero asks once again: So... what does the audience want to talk about? Because he's here to talk about legacy. It's what they leave behind, and what everyone wants to achieve in this business: the way to make yourself eternal. And that's why the Elite Enigmas are just one of many projects preparing the future, instead of preparing for bribes; AEW is a family, the good overlook the young, and they can still wrestle how they damn well please, instead of some "tough" guy thinking he's ""enough"" and teaches something as simple as a bump. That's why their talent is unique, and why Elite Enigma Ushiromiya Battler will demonstrate right now how far he's come to become one of the biggest star this business will see.

The match really got him fired up, and he notices the Elite Enigmas really are teaching him things he didn't know before! Win or lose, wrestling is just great! But, out of nowhere, he sees... Kyrie!? Out of all places... She says she was looking for him and this place, 'great' as Battler described it, is certainly... a wrestling promotion. They're gonna be real busy with family business so she came to check on him, so Battler asks they would like some surplus show tickets or if Ange would like a backstage pass since she loves his matches, but actually Ange is the precise reason she's there; since they're so busy, they would like Battler to return to Japan and look after her. The news are nothing less than shocking, he doesn't think AEW has a japanese branch after all, but Kyrie is sure he'll do fine over there and leaves while reminding to tell his friends.

Battler just can't believe... how unfortunate that timing was.

Episode 5

All of a sudden, it's Battler's last AEW show... Nero can't believe it, and Kaidou thinks it must be a Dark Reunion schemes to separate the Elite Enigmas just when unlocking their true potential. Even if he doesn't know how long he'll be gone, Nero believes he'll still have a spot once he's back, and Kaidou thinks he'll even get to make a name for himself in Japan to return to even grander appeal. Nero then has the perfect idea: on the Saihara Shuichi Memorial Show, a blaze of glory to send him off, the rematch that will fix the mistakes of the past! Battler certainly knows why they say Nero has such a great business-oriented mind, and maybe he still owes that much to Kaidou, but instead of 'reparations' Kaidou just wants the Jet Black Wings to shine one last time with the other Elite Enigma! ...Nero subtly coughs a plead to let Kaidou go over, before quickly taking back having said anything and pushing Battler to hurry to his match.

Episode 6

Another day in the small promotion he joined in Japan. Just going at it in the ring gets his blood pumping... but it's not the same, AEW was starting to feel like family. Wrestling is fun by itself, but it feel kinda pointless when there's no love... at least Ange had fun!

Suddenly, a strange man approaches Battler, saying it's an honor to meet his very good friend Kinzo's grandson, and he even looks like him. Upon Battler not recognizing him, the man notes Kinzo hasn't taught him everything, and introduces himself as Antonio Inoki, a simple promoter looking to bring Japanese wrestling back to its former glory. Shocked, Battler has naturally heard about him, so Inoki skips to the important part: he believes Battler has the potential to take them to greater heights, so he wants Battler to let them develop his potential and make Kinzo proud. Battler's grandfather would tell him all about his adventures back in the day, and he's totally directionless right now, so with little doubting Battler accepts. Pleased, Inoki tells him there's some training he'll have to endure, but it builds character; so long as he isn't made to stand still again, Battler's looking forward to learning from Mr. Inoki!

Episode 7[edit | edit source]

Looking for the address he was given, Battler gets lost... but he can't really admit it while accompanied by his little sister. While a nearby girl with a taciturn look is passing by, Battler asks her for the office of the promotion run by Inoki, and after a long moment of silence, she points them in the right direction. There sure are some cute girls around the area, he thinks, a bit 'undeveloped' for his tastes though. While on the entrance, Ange whines that she's bored and wants McDonald's, so Battler really really for realsies promises they'll get McDonald's in the way home after he's done with the business he has to attend to. Since this is a wrestling promotion, she's sure to not be bored since she likes that doesn't she? Maria-oneechan makes her watch it whenever they're at Aunt Rosa's house and it's fake and gay, like when there was a talking laptopm and it argued with a Waffle House cook and then a midget came out from under the ring... but... but she likes it a lot when Onii-chan does it! Battler promises her onii-chan won't let her down, but Ange surprisingly asks him why does he wrestle. He had never really thought about it... but he'll think super hard about it, and will inform his darling little sister first and foremost when he has an answer.

While coming to Mr. Inoki's office, he asks Ange to hold on to playing "20 questions" until McDonald's. On his way there, he's frozen in place when seeing a gargantuan man, Ange trembling like a leaf behind him, Battler can't even bring himself to say anything. The gargantuan man asks "Sakyo" if he's finished, who complies and tells him to get going. Sakyo made to leave, until his eyes locked with Battler, and he stops, producing a smirk. Sakyo greets Battler by name, who awkwardly blurts that he's come to see Inoki, and Sakyo says he won't keep him and Inoki is already waiting. Before making to leave again, Sakyo remarks that he looks forward to what he will accomplish... this time. While being befuddled by his parting remark, Ange, who had been clinging behind Battler's leg, bravely peeked out, and the man's piercing glare instantly turned to her. For a split second, the man's expression seemed to sour. He lit up a cigarette and silently walked away, along with his giant companion. Battler slowly begins regaining his gait as he makes for the office.

Inoki welcomes Battler and asks him to take a seat. He notices he brought company, and recalls she must be Kinzo's youngest grandchild, asking if he got her name right, but Ange's too shy to answer. Anyway, Inoki wants to be the first to welcome Battler to G1 Nonstop Infinite Climax, where G1 stands for "Grade 1", as they pride themselves on selecting the best of the best in fighters and athletes, true warriors who embody the spirit of professional wrestling, the supreme martial art. He sees that spark in Battler, but things may be a little different from the "sports-entertainment" he's used to, so he'll be placing him in the Young Lions Program.

Before Inoki can continue further, an energetic woman bursts into the room wondering something, before cutting herself and saying this must be the new guy everyone's talking about, and came with a little cutie pie in tow. A brash woman also enters, telling the other woman to stop pretending she didn't come the new teenage guy, but the energetic woman throws it right back at her. A cool woman wants them to knock it off, but the brash woman tells her to not act so high-and-mighty just because he's seen "more summers than a ruler's seen inches", and the energetic woman adds that he must be "six years past expiration for her standards". The cool woman becomes exacerbated by them attacking in sync, and then a whore arrives aiming directly for him, causing Ange to grunt profusely, and the energetic, brash, and cool women's killing intent to flare up.

Finally, Inoki tells Aozaki he's been considering her proposal, but for now... all of them need to get the hell out of his office. Inoki apologizes, as he can see they have a very talented fledgling women's division, but in the current climate women's wrestling isn't economically feasible. Back on topic, he'll be in The Young Lions program, and just then one of his fellows arrives. He introduces himself as Shiki Tohno, and Inoki tells Battler that Tohno-kun will be showing Battler the ropes... literally.

Episode 9[edit | edit source]

After 680 Hindu squats, Battler starts wondering if Mr. Inoki might not have liked their match, but Shiki (who's ahead at 747) heard he was really impressed and wonders if they didn't make them train this hard from where he came from, but before Battler can explain they just made them play video games and watch Neil deGrasse Tyson videos, coach Guile hammers it in for them to continue. Once Battler's done, Solid Snake appears after hearing him complaining and asks him a question:

What do you think the most important aspect of pro wrestling is? What should your goal be as a professional wrestler?

The first thing that comes to Battler's head is to entertain fans, but with a stern face Snake affirms that it's wrong; it's to be the strongest; not a main eventer or top draw in the card, but strongest fighter. Puzzled, Battler doesn't get the connection since it isn't MMA, so Snake asks another question; why would anyone want to watch pro-wrestling if they think that other martial arts are superior? To maintain wrestling's validity, they must believe it's a disciplined as any other martial art―that's Inoki's philosophy, or "Inokiism"―on the battlefield, the only one that can protect you is yourself. He asks, what if you get in a fight outside, where your opponent isn't trying to protect you? Battler believes the easiest way is to just avoid fights, but that proves to be the worst answer; Inoki's mentor, Rikidōzan, while out drinking one night, got in a fight with a yakuza. He beat the yakuza handily, but the yakuza had stabbed him, and even thought he survived his surgery, the wound would get infected and lead to his death... he didn't have a choice to avoid that fight. After that, Inoki began to cultivate Strong Style, and him and wrestlers that followed him challenged dojos across Japan: boxing, karate, judo, jiujitsu... Inoki and his wrestlers beat all but one, Aikido, whose master Steven Sonozaki forced him to a draw. The reason he did all this, is so that people would respect pro-wrestling, so that even a yakuza would think twice before challenging a wrestler, to avoid the tragedy that befell his mentor. Battler is left completely shocked at all this which he knew nothing about.

A reporter appears to tell Snake that there's a representative from Sony waiting, and since Inoki left and he's the most tenured guy backstage she thought of coming to him. Koto with him, but he didn't seem happy to be made to wait, so Snake obliges and leaves it to Guile. Taking from where Snake left, Guile's lesson will be just that, and the only way to learn Strong Style is to experience it. Guile summons Sagara Sousuke, a fellow Young Lion. Before Battler can head to the ring, Guile stop him, because there will be no match—the fight is happening right here, right now.

With that done, they are all dismissed. Battler claims to be sore in ways he didn't know he could be, but Tohno tells him he'll get used to it. Telling everyone they worked good, Chidori Kaname appears and meets Battler, the new guy she's heard of. He wonders if she's one of the female wrestlers, but she claims she just helps backstage because Sousuke's her...uh...classmate. Then Sousuke claims he's her bodyguard, and Chidori calls him out for blurting out something against OpSec just like that. Battler is intrigued by what she meant, but she apologizes that they aren't at liberty to say and must think of of them as weirdos now, yet Battler apologizes instead for prying since he understand everyone's got their circumstances. She thanks Battler and asks to not spread that fact around, and also to Mr. Fly-on-the-wall Shiki, who claims to know better than to incur her rage, but when she wonders what exactly he meant by that, he quickly points out Sousuke is wearing the clothes she got for him, and upon noticing asks the three if they agree that they look cool on him. Battler and Shiki quickly dismissively agree, while Sousuke goes on a long tactical appraisal tangent, exasperating Chidori until she interrupts him wishing for him to reply like a regular person for once.

Battler thinks to himself that even if it's more physically demanding, backstage camaraderie is much the same. Even if he misses AEW, he'll be just fine here... although his thighs might not.

Episode 10

In the office, Battler stares at his paycheque... even thought it's in Yen, there are less zeroes. He doesn't meant to be rude of course, but Koto tells him that even if he expected more than a pittance as a Young Lion, he's still living in AEW in his head―even after he graduates, his head might be thinking one too many zeroes ahead. Hadn't it been because she actually heard that Juuza guy "talk", she'd think he was trying to sabotage the business in bad faith. Battler can't believe she'd go that far, even if AEW's style isn't for everyone, he believes all Amakusa is doing is create a safe for creativity to flourish outside of outdated rules and restrictions... sounds nice on paper, says Koto, but the way he's doing it, as Battler just illustrated it, is parking a dumptruck of money in front of anyone without a contract. Even if he is so, Battler argues he's providing a viable alternative for industry competition, but Koto points out there's no "competition" when shows with budgets can't compete against unlimited funding; without care for profitability, even TFR is hard-pressed to outbid them for any particular contract, and it's a headache for Koto and everyone else backstage when renegotiation time comes. AEW's way of operation is poisonous to the industry, irresponsible at best and malicious at worst; even if kids like Battler see him as a benevolent benefactor who created a port in the storm, he's more like a chaotic vortex that sucks up everything around it and returns nothing. All of this came as a great shock to Battler, who had no idea bringing all that money could cause such ill. In fact, Koto finds it weird too, since he used to wrestle here without any indication of being loaded, and acted completely different, trying to hit on her while fishing for bonuses... Battler is surprised at all this, especially as Juuza talking to, let alone hitting on, women sounds completely out of character; true enough, the Juuza in G1 was a wannabe playboy, while now he's a... spastic? nerd? Koto fails to find the correct word ...a mark, points Battler. After having his eyes opened slightly more to the world of wrestling, he apologizes, but Koto says it's "no fur off her tail" and with a hint of irony tells Battler to not spent all his pay in one place.

While silently leaving the office, Shiki greets Battler, asking if his first paycheck was everything he dreamed of. Responding disappointedly, Shiki at least says they'll rank up from peanuts to something respectable once they graduate. It's not like he needs the extra money, having his expenses paid and even an allowance (thought most of it goes to Ange's McDonalds), but out of the blue, Shiki offers to get Battler into a place he moonlights at, although he asks to keep it secret. Though Battler's reaction is expected, Shiki reassures it's nothing fishy or illegal, it's just better if certain people here are kept in the dark. If it's something like that... Battler agrees to go in, so Shiki says he'll explain once they meet after the show next week.

Episode 11: Mystery at Club Vesuvio[edit | edit source]

Another G1 veteran faces Battler, and... it goes as expected. Once the show is done...

.....Club Vesuvio? Did Shiki take him to an italian restaurant? At some point in time, Shiki explains to Battler, it was, but since the Soprano Family left and no longer used it as meeting spot, the owner had to reopen it as a host club. While still puzzled, at first Battler guesses keeping their working here secret must be to keep the older guys from busting their balls, but much contrary, Shiki reminds Battler of his run-in with Aoko-sensei and the others, at which point Battler finally understands. He still asks if they are really that dangerous, but Shiki admits in actuality they're quite harmless despite putting on an act (save for D.Va, one should steer clear from ever being near her, for health risks) and hopelessly awkward when it comes to romance; they're too proud to ever come to a host club, but if they found out their work, that pride would instantly crumble. It'd be too much stimulation for them, and something inside them would doubtless awaken. With a vivid enough picture of the premenopause apocalypse in his mind, Battler absolutely promises not to tell. Next to the entrance is normal-looking japanese teen who greets Shiki and asks if that's the guy he mentioned, but before anything else, Shiki notices his red hands asks why Emiya looks like he killed someone. The apron-clad teen recounts that he and Artie made a display cake earlier with industrial food coloring, but within the hour someone knocked it off, and with how staining the stuff is, he, Yukari, and the bartender (and Artie too, for a bit between meltdowns) spent the better part of the afternoon cleaning. Shiki can only imagine the mood of Artie, but if Yukari had to help and got her clothes ruined, their only hope is praying... Thankfully, he comments, they had enough aprons to avoid clothing stains, but all their hands ended stained, so her mood's still pretty bad. Only stuff that gets rid of it is bleach or alcohol, but since they lack the one that they can actually touch and they're about to open for the night, it's tough luck. After Shiki thanks him for the warning, he apologizes for rambling without manners and introduces himself as Emiya Shirou, and Battler likewise while also asking if he's one of the hosts, but Emiya thinks he'd rather die on the spot than run into the chance of someone he knows like Fuji-nee walking in on him sweet-talking older women for money. Instead, he's just a cook working since when it was a honest restaurant (as honest as a mafia hangout can be). Out of options for delaying the inevitable, Shiki guides Battler in.

For about 2 seconds Yukari is polite, until realizing it's just Tohno. She wonders who's his fruity friend and asks if he's finally taking male clients, but after a sardonic greeting, Shiki mentions he was on his way to talk to Artie and The Bartender to see about getting him a job, which Yukari smugly replies that he's got the metrosexual look down and even got the 'fairy saunter', a surefire hit with those 'dried up battle-axes'. Battler attempts to calmly greet her, but she continues that he walked in here with his Queer Eye ensemble already on, which tells her everything she needs to know, namely that he could suck a golfball through a garden hose. But since he insists, her name is Takeba Yukari, and she's the receptionist who looks pretty so that the desperate hags feel extra insecure when they spend the evening here. After that, Battler does one last attempt at getting his name across, but it's instantly shut down. Next up is meeting Artie.

Screaming again, Artie Bucco wonders where The Bartender had been, but she tells him to sue her if just washing hands is against the rules now. She asks if he thinks the guy will work out, but he's exasperated since he lacks any idea of how "this" works and throws it back at her, so The Bartender points that he's pretty tall compared to Tohno and Matou and not dressed too shabby, so Artie gives the go ahead. The Bartender turns to Battler, and says that he gets points for making her job easier since his outfit is good enough. Next she asks if he's alright with talking to older women, which he addledly nods to since he's 'talking to her right now after all', which instantly has her take away the bonus points. Either way, all their clients are pushovers, so even if he's a wet towel personality-wise, his looks will carry him. Until he's called, The Bartender tells him to wait in the locker room and bleed his lizard or whatever he needs to do to freshen up. Ignoring the strange remark, Battler moves on.

Part 2[edit | edit source]

Now that he's just waiting, Battler admits his previous calmness is getting swept in nerve, to the point he kinda hopes he isn't picked at all. Amidst Battler's tension, another host, a young man with blue seaweed-looking hair, haughtily addresses Battler as the "newbie everyone's talking about", although he doesn't see what the big deal is. Battler introduces himself, which makes the guy's expression drop, as he has to do a double take to ask if he's part of those Ushiromiya from the Ushiromiya Group who have a mountain of gold, but Battler claims he's never personally seen his grandfather's gold. As if in response, the man introduces himself as Matou Shinji, as in those Matou who struck fear across Japan and Coolsville, AND the #1 host in the establishment, so Battler should just fall in line and stay out of his way. Battler casually waves him off, as Shiki comes out in his work clothes; without glasses and wearing a loose-fitting shirt which displays his surprisingly toned body (and a large scar across his chest), it comes to shock Battler a little, making Shiki jokingly exclaim it's a roundabout way of saying he's normally a geek, but Battler throws back that those were his choice of words. Shinji addresses Shiki to "advice" him in telling his friend to show some respect, so Shiki turns around to congratulate Battler on figuring Shinji's bullshit by himself, Shinji protesting at such a claim, but Shiki dismissively continues that despite being a dick he's not that bad once you get used to him, annoying him even further at being ignored. Since they're coming up, Shiki asks Battler for his gameplan, who was thinking of going for something like <Good evening, madam.> and then to finish, <See you again. Have a nice day!>. The choice of using english has Shiki nervously looking away and Shinji calling him a clown as he laughs, but Battler isn't discouraged. From outside the locker room, Artie calls 'Nanaya', Shiki's stage name, up, and next The Bartender calls the "new guy", leaving Shinji in complete disbelief and outrage.

The Bartender warns him that the customer this time is a first-timer―just like himself. Normally they'd put her with a more tenured guy, but she seemed pretty nervous and The Bartender absent-mindedly mentioned putting her with a new guy, which she seemed receptive to. As advice, the women here just want to feel young again, so treating them like a girl his age will do the trick. With a confident expression (yet not demeanor), Battler rushes to say <G-Good evening, madam.> and compliment her looks tonight as soon as he feels the presence of the client arriving without paying attention, and the client likewise nervously introduces herself, until... Battler and his aunt Rosa find themselves face to face. After a prolonged shock where they stutter at each other, Battler tries to get up so he can ask the Bartender for a different host, but Rosa suddenly screams for him to stay, under the reason that "it's both their first time she doesn't want to cause him nor the club any trouble". In his mind, Battler just yearns for death at this complete nightmare scenario, vowing to kill Shiki for the exact case he feared happening coming true. In a nervous way that is "different" than the other party, Rosa wonders how Battler ended up here, and he explains that a friend from the wrestling promotion clued him into this place. Since he brought it up, Rosa remembers Rudolf mentioning one thing or other like that last they spoke, but truthfully she always imagined wrestlers as middle-aged muscle-bound ogres... suddenly, Rosa fervently asks if he's doing stuff like grappling with other young boys without shirts and stuff, and although Battler claims he uses his normal clothes, he must still get sweaty and stuff, and then go into the back and take a shower together, right!? Rosa's breathing becomes ragged as she wonders if she was wrong for yelling at Maria for watching that stuff after all... Battler tries to cut through the awkwardness by asking how's Maria, but Rosa replies that who cares.

Somehow, Battler survived the slotted time and didn't die of embarrassment. He sends Rosa away with <See you again. Have a nice day!>, but she lets out a small laugh as she says he wouldn't get away with something lame like that if he weren't so handsome, and replies with her own <See you again.> since she'll come back for sure. Even The Bartender wonders what the hell did he say to make that go so well, but Battler remains silent, leaving her confused

Part 3[edit | edit source]

As he goes into another meltdown, The Detective explains to Artie that someone has been buying Google Play Cards, utterly untraceable technology, using the customers' credit cards, but they've traced the transaction to the locale's computers. Artie shouts that he's not closing up so he can conduct an investigation without a warrant, but the Detective is just giving him the chance to solve this in-house because, from the way the culprit has it set up, they're splitting the customer's transactions between his club and these cards, so it's only him being defrauded. Optionless, Artie calls Yukari to gather everyone for a meeting, even thought she was just about to leave.

Battler can't believe things are going so wrong in just his first day. Most of all, Artie is flabbergasted that after being so good to them, they PAY HIM BACK WITH NONSTOP ASSRAPE!?!?!? Emiya tries to calm him down since it must be a misunderstanding, but the Detective cuts him short since it's traced to the club's network for the past several weeks, so it narrows it down to some employee. His best course of action, he suggests, is to put the person with an impregnable alibi to lead the investigation―Artie of course suggests himself first, but to his dismay Togusa says that he's not necessarily free of suspicion. Battler decides to speak up to say that it's his first day not only working but visiting here, as strong an alibi as it gets, and that he'll "do it". When asked if he has any experience, he mentions he's read a bunch of detective novels and was part of the "Elite Enigmas", prompting Yukari to say that they're saved now that "Sherlock Holmes" is here after reading trashy books while on a wrestling gimmick. Either way, the Detective says the important thing is his alibi, and that he'll be waiting if he gets stumped. He's ready to begin his job as "Battler Ushiromiya: Ace Detective", but Yukari thinks it's more appropriate to call him "Faggler Ushitromiya: Stupid Faggot Little Cocksucker"!... he wonders if she's related to any bald guys perchance, but she just yucks. The floors is his', but the Detective outlines that he should concentrate on interviewing everyone and investigating the club itself, as his two cents.

First (and with the next strongest alibi), Battler takes Shiki's testimony. He claims this is as shocking and news to him as to the new-hire next to him, and the strangest thing he's seen lately was the "blood"-covered Emiya, although he can't imagine it being related. He then remembers something weird and red in the locker room's trashcan that he didn't bother to check, but still doesn't find the relevancy. But you never know, and Battler says it might even come in handy, so Shiki wishes him good luck.

Emiya hadn't seen Artie so livid since... well, to be honest, he goes ballistic at the drop of a hat. Before taking his testimony, Battler can't help but stare at his red hands, and asks him to explain the source of it again, even if Emiya doesn't think that hullabaloo has any connection: Artie and him made that display cake with industrial dye, then someone went and knocked it down. The Bartender, Yukari and himself spent about 2 whole hours cleaning with bleach to get it off the floor, and Artie helped a bit (if even). Thanks to the spare aprons, none of their clothes got ruined, but their hands got stained fierce, and they didn't have rubbing alcohol to get it off. The cleaning finished right when Battler and Shiki showed up. As a last thing Battler asks for his thoughts, but Emiya hasn't got a clue; he just sticks to what he's good at, namely cooking, and anything to do with customers and computers is beyond him. Battler thanks him for his time.

Kicking up a storm, Shinji finds it preposterous that someone obviously innocent like himself is not allowed to leave. To stop him and takes his testimony, Battler tells him to hold it and mentions his earlier bragging about the Matou; he's definitely no expert, but they're a crime family and he admitted as much isn't it? Then, Battler propositions it as such that this whole scheme sounds like something a yakuza would do. Shinji decries being such a thing and that using his name to accuse him is nothing but baseless profiling, but as thing stands, Battler believe it's still enough to position him as one of the most suspicious. Shinji screams for Battler to use all three of his braincells to figure that he doesn't need to concoct some harebrained plot to fleece the old hags, when he's already #1 and basically robbing them already both here and on the side. That's actually a fair point, Battler concedes, but it's not enough to exonerate him if considering the case that he might not be doing this for the money; if allowed to speculate, and while unable to pretend he has any insight into the exact circumstances, from their conversations he gathered that he's not in the best terms with the Matou Family. After all why would a direct member of a powerful family be working as a host yet still brag about being part of it? the most telling being his earlier denial of being a yakuza. However the case and however he sees himself, they likely don't give a damn about him, and may very well be doing this as a way to impress them. Shinji can barely muster back a word in indignation. Still, Battler says it's all conjecture anyway, and asks him instead where he was earlier today. Since he has better things to do than grabass sweaty naked men, he claims to have been in a date with a customer, which is verifiable enough if necessary but Battler still asks him further how long he had been here before himself and Shiki arrived, which Shinji harshly throws as being one or two hours. Guessing that's as much as he's getting, Shinji tells Battler to pester someone else as he makes to leave.

Although they got off with the wrong foot, and unlike mending fences with guys, it's tearing Battler apart knowing that a pretty girl like Yukari hates his guts for no reason. Even though he thought he was used to these insults, when Yukari tells him that if he's looking for a beard he should just grow a pair and look in the mirror, it stings a lot worse. Yukari sighs that she doesn't actually have anything against him, but he just caught her at a bad time. He remembers Shiki mentioning it before entering, but she hints that the cake isn't the kind of "red stain" she's talking about. ...Did it get in her clothes? Yukari has to wonder if he's retarded and is about to scream if he makes her say it. ......her hair? she really has to scream to this retard that she's on her period, and now he can't complain about being bullied without cause. A-Anyways... since she's the receptionist she must be one of the people regularly using the computers, although she doesn't appreciate the implications, Battler corrects that she's probably got information about that kinda stuff. First of all, Yukari mentions it's computerS, since there's another one behind the bar, and she doesn't have any special 'information'. Since she works the front reception, Battler assumes she'd have a good idea if someone tried to use it, but she obviously isn't there 24/7. Well, Battler doesn't know much about periods, but he says it's only logical she'd be leaving her position a ton in that case. She threatens to make him be the one bleeding from the crotch instead if he doesn't back away immediately after saying that.

For a first day on the job, The Bartender bets Battler wasn't planning on taking her testimony, but this is actually therapeutic after what happened earlier, which Battler doesn't even want to think about. Since they never got properly introduced, Battler asks for her name, but The Bartender claims names are for friends and this one has nothing to do with the investigation, so he can keep using 'Bartender', 'Barkeep', or 'Mama' like everyone else. From her name, he can safely tell she's in charge of the bar (real detective observation right there, she adds), but obviously her responsibilities don't end there. Indeed, it's easier to ask what she DOESN'T do, considering Artie's no good beyond cooking, which is of little importance in such a place, so the business-side falls mostly on her shoulders. Since that's the case, Battler asks for every employee's role, which she amiably obliges. Emiya's job is in the kitchen, but he also takes care of cleaning and tons of other things. Especially oddjobs and fixes which he usually carries out before anyone's even noticed the fault, to the point they've never had to call an electrician or repairman. Yukari's the real polite and cordial receptionist... to the paying customers, she doesn't take any bullshit and quickly deals with any drama; over-attached customers, angry husbands, jealous imoutou, and whatnot (Battler's real glad Ange is too young to know this kind of place and prays Rosa stays silent). Other than reception (and of course processing a few of the payments), she helps Artie or the barkeep bring food to customers, and lately's begun to be taught basic book-keeping and accounting to offload her some resposibility. The hosts (including Battler), of which a few are still on vacation, are self-explanatory enough, but at closing time or slow business they'll be asked to help out Emiya. Most are pretty amenable about it, but Shinji always throws a hissyfit, so she has to whip him a bit for him to fall into line (he can't tell at all if she means it literally). Artie's the owner, but he's more of a layabout that occasionally cooks; he used to chat up the customers, but she got him to quit since women that come to escape middle-aged men don't want to be hit on by one. Then there's... The Bartender herself. On paper she just runs the bar, but in practice she runs the club itself (save the kitchen); she scouts and interviews talent (although Tohno did that instead today), which Artie will sometimes pretend to be involved with, but he's got no idea what women want to see. And unless someone suddenly crawls out of the vents, that's everyone. Since she mentioned she's more-or-less in charge of business, Battler asks if she wouldn't be the first to be in notice of the profit discrepancy, but while she's aware in a day-to-day basis, only Artie himself is privy to budget and profit (and if she was, this club wouldn't be in such a state). Battler thanks her for explaining all that.

The owner, Artie... before Battler even approaches, he's already blasting off about how this shit would've never had happened a few years ago, now the cocksuckin' pricks think they can walk all over him because Tony Soprano isn't around. In fact, if Battler figures it out, he'll- he'll give him a bonus, or a raise! But... Battler points out even if he figures it all out, there's no guarantee he'll get his money back, devastating Artie further, and then there's the case of him being the culprit itself. He can't believe Battler's buying what that "fuckin' dick" was selling, but it is a good point, and Artie loses it at a cop getting the one he himself "took off the streets" to do his work... Battler explains he's not accusing him of anything and just wants info for him to calm down. Since he's the owner, Battler questions how he wouldn't have found out 50% of his profits being skimmed, but he says he doesn't actually deal with that shit and lets Julianne handle it. Before even answering who that is, he rants about how all he wanted was to run a restaurant, but when the Soprano Family left, so did all his business, and no one would eat at a mobster hangout, so they reopened as a host club... except he doesn't know the first fuckin' thing about those! With that out of the way, Battler asks about the earlier cake incident, and Artie explains he and the kid made it, for display only, you know, so with some real strong coloring, and then some cocksucker went and knocked it over, so they had to clean for 2 hours. That should be all he can get, so Battler tells him that's enough.

Investigation[edit | edit source]

Moving on to the physical investigation, Battler searches the Locker Room. In theory only the hosts should be there, but Yukari is probably the only one that has no reason to ever enter. In the trash can... the Google Play cards!? The envelopes are torn open, and both pieces are covered in deep red stains, an important find. One of the lockers has red dye over it, with 'Matou Shinji' written on the plate.... was he even involved with that whole thing? Then there's a cat, what the heck is it doing here?

Then there's the bar, should be solely The Bartender's domain, but traffic is probably high in this area. Behind the bar is a computer, one of two possibilities for the place the Google Play Cards were redeemed, and next to it is a List of drinks bought today: Chardonnay, champagne, pinot noir. In the trash, lies the plastic seal to a brand of moonshine. He's no expert on drinks (nor allowed to be yet, legally speaking), but he's gathered that these clubs operate in selling drinks by bottle; there's a few overpriced mixed drinks, but most of the menu is different types of wine, and if a customer doesn't finish, they are kept away for their next session, probably kept away from the shelf. But there's one on display half-full: Moonshine, 150 proof, meaning 75% alcohol. Battler doesn't imagine that being used for the mixed drinks, nor older women drinking it... maybe Aunt Eva―No! After today he shouldn't even imagine that or it might come to pass...! Lastly, there's another cat... what's it even doing in the bar?

At the reception, there's no sign of that demonic display cake, a testament to the careful cleaning. There's just a few tissues and wrappers in the trash, probably indicating the trash got taken out soon after. There's the reception computer, where reservations and some payments are managed... the keyboard is stained in red, right out of a yakuza movie. There's also a cat, must've snuck through the front door.

The last place is the dumpster out back, not much of importance could be there, but. The dumpster itself contains the remains of the infamous cake. Right next is... a woman just standing there, who claims to not be a customer but a trash demon, living in her home. For the sake of sanity and the investigation, he ignores that and asks at what hours the club manages trash, which she replies as just before opening and right after closing, as is expected. Battler guesses they came upon Emiya just as he was done with the trash. The demon notes that there was a delicious cake dumped today, and Battler doesn't have the strength to tell her about the industrial coloring. Then there's a... cat? It... greets the "cherry boy" and says looking is free but "anything else" and he's gotta pony up... Battler didn't see anything, didn't hear anything, and for the sake of conserving his mind intact, just walks away pretending nothing happened.

Everything that could be turned up was done so, so he approaches The Detective, but there's just one thing left to check... everyone's hands. Not bad for a kid, the Detective notes, and calls everyone over.

Shiki's are bony with long fingers, not very manly yet not dainty, and logically free of stains. Emiya's are calloused and rough, caked with flour and grease, and unmistakably red-stained beneath that. Shinji's... wearing gloves, claiming it looks fashionable as a host but wouldn't expect a philistine to understand, so Battler asks if he's been wearing them all day, which Shiki answers for him that he was since the first meeting of the day; still, he refuses to take em off wondering if Battler's is some kind of "hand fetishist" (even if he was, he wouldn't be interested in men's hands). Yukari's are neither too bony nor too pudgy, elegant, graceful and perfectly balanced; there's nary a hint of callusing or dry skin, only stained blotches of red marring this exquisite, immaculate beauty... Battler gets called out for staring too long. The Bartender's are a good deal cuter than one would expect, and perfectly clean, as you'd expect that from a bartender. Artie's are plain and without standout features, much like he himself, with almost imperceptible tiny red stains, and an indentation where a wedding ring would be (probably irrelevant). The Detective's aren't the most rugged, but look firm and powerful, with a decent amount of callusing, definitely not a desk jockey... why the hell is Battler looking at a man's hands (when it has nothing to do with the investigation)?

Evidence Present[edit | edit source]

Without further ado, Battler's ready to present his conclusion. First of all is the most crucial piece of evidence: the Google Play cards. Naturally everyone is shocked, but more so Emiya as the red coloring means it really was one of them, not in the sense Shiki thinks at first, but rather that he hoped none of them present was the culprit. But if Tohno got here after the cake was cleaned up, and she herself never goes to that smelly lockerroom, Yukari deduces herself and Tohno are officially innocent (although Tohno bickers that she couldn't know the smell if she never enters)―yet while Battler doesn't want to halt the banter, he has to say neither are enough to exonerate them: Shiki could have smeared the cards from the dumpster, and Yukari could simply have had an accomplice dump them in the room for her. Yukari protests that the accomplice would have ratted her out by now, but Battler thinks that they'd be too worried about casting suspicion on themselves.

Stopping the sidetracking, The Bartender summarizes it that, in all likelihood, it was someone who had been here before the cake got cleaned and thrown away, and also been in the locker room. Now it's Battler's time to present one more piece of evidence, and this is the one that will open the path to accuse someone. He chooses...

...The List of drinks bought today? that's right, isn't it? ...No?

Well, The Detective can't fault him for trying, but the police will take over from here.

The Bartender tells the kid to have better luck next time.

Yukari laughs at the going of this ace defective, knowing from the start it would happen.

Seems the Ushiromiya aren't all they are cracked up to be, as Shinji sees not even a mountain of gold could buy this one a brain!

Artie calls him a piece of shit, daring to say he could solve it.

Emiya consoles him by saying he did better he himself could ever hope to do, and the professional will take it from here.

Shiki tells him not to worry, after all, tons of people embarras themselves in their first day of work... kind of like an humiliation ritual.

Dammit... I should have thought things through! I should have been better than this, compared to all the detective novels I've read, this should have been a walk in the park! People already think I'm gay... Now they're gonna think I'm a retard too? Is this what I have to look forward to? Is this my lot in life? When people pass me on the street, is that what they're gonna point and say? Am I gonna spend the rest of my life... known as a gay retard?!

...the red-stained keyboard (which scares Artie as someone used to deal with organized crime). The Bartender, Emiya, and others are confused at what does that prove, until Yukari mentions her hands were dry before using it and only noticed the stains after they got done cleaning, assuming some cake just flew into it... awfully late to bring it up, says Shiki. Before Battler can say another word, The Bartender stops him since she figured what he'll say next and calls it a leap of logic: he was about to imply that because the cards were stained, they must have been redeemed on the stained computer―but that's a leap of logic―just because the person got the cards stained doesn't mean the keyboard would necessarily also be stained; they could have stained the cards on accident, and then redeemed them later. That's pretty logical, Battler agrees, but she's making a critical mistake: entertaining the 'how' and ignoring the 'why'. First, Yukari's scenario is pretty unfeasible, considering how through they were, and second, why would someone use the computer with west frosting? Yukari starts saying there's no way they wouldn't have noticed if someone had–––but stops herself before finishing, owning it to a bad cramp (leg one!). The conversation was cut short and Battler didn't get to make all his points, but it's finally time to point out the culprit―or he was going to, until Yukari decided to steal "mr. cumbreath"s thunder to announce it herself―it's Shinji. While "Sherlock Homo" was out, they had nothing to do but stare at the walls... or each other, and the faggot gloves stick out like a sore thumb. After forcefully taking them off, he's, quite literally, red-handed; Emiya nor Tohno can act surprised, and Artie burns up as he shouts that he took him in despite being one of "them". Of course, Shinji claims the bitch Yukari is setting him up and is probably the culprit. The Detective gets next to Battler and laments having to put him on the spot, but he's gotta pick a definitive before it gets out of control.

Naturally, Battler... claims he's innocent; he already knew about his hands. So why waste their time, wonders Yukari? Because his guilt has nothing to do with what's being discussed right now. In fact, calling him innocent might not be correct, because he's guilty... of knocking over the cake. However he did it, he rushed in to change his clothes at the locker room (staining the locker in the process), and then put on gloves when he couldn't clean the stains. In that case, Yukari thinks it makes her argument even stronger, proving he did it on purpose: he got the icing on the cards, and used the gloves to redeem them in the bar computer. However, the gloves only serve to hide his stained skin as he could've washed the wet icing off by then, and more importantly, Battler has two points that prove it can't be Shinji. First, the Google Play Cards are composed of the card itself and an envelope, one should be able to handle them with stained hands and then take the card itself after having cleaned up, but both parts are stained, and moreso he can't imagine a reason to open the envelope ahead of time yet keep it around; the envelopes were being opened as cards were redeemed―and in that way, the keyboard got stained as well. The only keyboard that makes sense as being used is the reception one, which brings about the other point... did anyone see Shinji entering the room? In order to be the culprit, two conditions must be fulfilled: having wet icing-stained hands, and using the computer with those hands. It's possible he could have done all this before anyone stumbled upon the scene, but's it sounds highly unlikely for Shinji to not flee the scene as quickly as possible, fearing getting yelled at over the cake and completely ignorant of the greater goings-on, before taking refuge in the locker room to sequester himself until the cake was mostly forgotten about.

While Shinji certainly appreciates being exonerated and all, he doesn't really have to make him sound so pathetic, but Artie tells him to zip it since he still owes him a cake. Either way, the culprit must have redeemed the cards in plain sight, so Battler asks the ones who were cleaning... did they see anyone using the computer?

As they remain silent in doubt (or culpability), it's now time to reveal the one who has their hands as stained as Shinji, but in guilt rather than red, and stained hands are to be cleansed. Battler takes the opportunity to reveal the culprit... The Bartender! Yukari suddenly tries to get Battler to not "gloss over" Shinji just because it's unlikely, but he throws back that she herself said the first time she saw the stain was when the club was about to open. Yukari screams up in frustration, but while The Bartender appreciates her sticking up for her, she's confident she can take it, and tells Battler she assumes the accusation isn't without some kind of evidence.

That evidence is... her hands. Completely spotless. While it's par for her job to not end the complaint subject of chatty Cathys and Karens, Emiya was unable to get it off after cleaning dishes all night. So she claims she used something else, but still, why didn't she tell Emiya and Yukari? Picking up the subject of the claim, Yukari props up Artie whose hands are clean, much as he protests that they obviously aren't (which Emiya whispers isn't good to shout for a cook), which Yukari says is obviously because he does everything half-assed, but he still could have totally used the computer while the others were cleaning.

There's two things Battler has to address here. First, what Yukari said about him is exactly right... he's lazy (at first agreeing, then almost shouting, Artie can't decide if it's better to disagree or not); he helped out a little, so his hands are a little dirty. Then... the final piece of evidence: A half-empty Moonshine, kept on display, and not on the list of drinks bough in the day, with its seal in the trash despite Emiya taking all trash out before opening. Emiya's also been saying before the night even begun that rubbing alcohol might be able to get rid of the stains. Yukari still wouldn't put it past Artie to drink on the job, who admits he might here and there but isn't so far gone to drink moonshine like a hillbilly―a conveniently timed inappropriate outburst, as Battler gets to ask where he gets the drinks for the job. Since Artie can't form a coherent word, Emiya answers for him; he used to sneak stuff from the bar, so The Bartender started to charge him whenever so much as a single drop went missing, and soon enough learned to bring his own flask. With Battler's impression that The Bartender wouldn't miss a beat when it came to her 'domain' confirmed, it begs the question how half a bottle went missing; if she's the kind of person to charge for even the smallest missing merchandise, then wasting half a bottle of a drink on something trivial like replacing rubbing alcohol is out of the question... without a reason. But just like her responsibilities, that logic doesn't stop at the bar; everyone agreeds she basically runs the club, except for herself who said a portion of the finances were outside her control, while Artie actually claimed the opposite... it wasn't clear who was lying, until now. Now there's just one last question, that Yukari already answered, but needs to be verified by everyone else. Battler asks Emiya directly: when he was cleaning up... someone got up to use the computer, didn't they?

Indeed, it happened. Emiya didn't pay it attention since it didn't seem unusual. The Bartender said she needed to take care of some reservations before the club opened, that she'd then be right back to helping. Battler also says that Yukari cut the conversation earlier because at that moment she had figured it out, and has been trying to cover for her since then, but Yukari's only response is telling him to not talk to her.

Now, I think it's obvious to everyone. The culprit of this defrauding scheme... is you, the Bartender.

Case End[edit | edit source]

Finally, she gives up. Not like she was gonna get out of this, even if Battler didn't figure things out, The Detective's smug look proves he had this figured out since he walked in the door. For stringing them all along despite being fucked from the start, Shinji calls her the rotten miserable excuse for a woman he always knew she was, and for once Shiki agrees with him (on the first part only), but asks why. She thinks, maybe she was hoping Battler fucked up so bad even The Detective would get caught up, or... maybe she'd rather be slowly ruined by a young guy than unceremoniously destroyed by an older one (The Detective not appreciating much the innuendo since he's a married man).

The only thing that Battler's missing is 'why'―the true reason too obviously, but after weeks of getting away with it, why today? The answer, is the single piece of evidence Battler couldn't have found, and why The Detective knew all along: The customer who called the police to report the defrauding, who also called the club first, and spoke with The Bartender herself. She guesses when she called the police, she mentioned who she spoke with. Of course, The Detective mentions, he didn't bring that tidbit up in case it wasn't a solo work. She was trying to convince the woman not to call the police when the cake incident happened, the final proof Shinji was nothing but a pain in her ass (and he agrees the feeling's mutual).

She panicked, time was running out, the cops could drop any time. It would have been smarter to just dump the cards... but she couldn't just throw that money away. The truth is, she has a son. A lot of things happened, very long ago, and she lost the privilege of calling herself his mother. In that way, Shinji's remark was completely right. The person taking care of him now is a man―a REAL man, probably only one she's known to exist. He started an orphanage, and she thought, even if she lost the right to be a part of both their lives... she could still support them, anonymously. But couple of weeks ago, something terrible happened. Jackson, he... on the news.... he got in some trouble... and he needed her help more than ever, so... The Detective tells her that's enough, and she doesn't owe it to them to say anymore.

Even if they don't know the specifics, Emiya argues she could've asked for help and they'd all have chipped in, even Shinji (who tries to protest but is interrupted), and Shiki understands why she'd resort to stealing, but their money problems are insignificant compared to what rough she has it. For once even Yukari agrees with everyone. Thought their words are kind and she thanks them all, The Bartender couldn't afford to put that onus on any of them, and believes she has to carry her sins and burdens. Maybe that's right, but Battler says that doesn't mean she can't be lent a shoulder―and if she's too proud to lean on, maybe they ought to pick up and carry her instead! Battler turns to The Detective, and wonders if since it's a criminal case, he's gonna find out exactly where she's been sending the funds... normally that information isn't made public, he says, but maybe something slips through the cracks every now and then.

Still, The Detective says hates to interrupt the mood, but he's still gotta take "Ms. Stingray" to the station... a crime's a crime. He can't see the club doing gangbusters, so he guesses it's not enough for her to do any real hard time. Yukari tries to appeal to everything she confessed, but The Detective puts down that rules are rules... still, he'll make sure the judge and prosecutor take it into account. The Bartender apologizes to Yukari, and asks her to take care of the place and keep the boys in line, who promises to do her best while holding back tears.

The Detective approaches Battler, patting him for a good job and wondering if he ever considered the force; he wouldn't be a plainclothes off the bat and make even less money than he does now, but he got a real knack for it. Battler's a little beyond himself as The Detective explains that, while he started with more information, the kid filled the blanks and even figured things he probably couldn't have. As Battler thanks him profusely for the praise, The Detective motions to get going, and if he's ever by HQ, to ask for Togusa, which Battler replies with a positive "I will!". As The Bartender walks, Artie can barely muster to ask how she could do this to him when he loved her, but The Bartender throws back that he'd fall for anything with two legs and a hole between them fresher than his wife's―which is why it was so easy to steal from him. He has a complete breakdown...


Seeing her beyond herself with grief, Battler tries to console Yukari one last time, only for her to tell him to shut up and never talk again. Tohno comes running with how amazing Battler was and that The Detective even put him over, but after a short laugh, Battler admits he still finds kind of bad, after all it was his first day at the place and he basically tore its heart out. He's being a bit melodramatic, Shiki thinks, and while everyone liked her (even Shinji although he'll never admit), it wasn't his fault. Most of all though, Battler laments giving Yukari an actual reason to hate him. Shiki gets she's hot and all, but he also thinks of the nicest way to put this, so he just says she's "kind of a cunt"... Battler's expression lightens slightly, Shiki can't believe it... he can't really have a thing for girls like that, can he...?

Battler leaves the place completely content; he's always been a fan of mystery novels, but that was the first time he's got to show it! He even got that detective to offer him a job, he doubts if he even interpreted it right with how crazy it feels! Ah... but it still feels bad to leave the club "high and dry" after that, even thought he knows he did nothing wrong, The Bartender was just trying to help family... he likes to think his parents would do the same, but he knows he'd do it for Ange...! Ange...? Ange, he totally forgot about her! Not like she'd burn the house down (probably) but her mood will be awful...

But then... someone calls Battler's name... in terrible engrish. He asks him who he is and how he knows him...

Ushiromiya... Ushiromiya Battora.

So many question. Prease... be patient.

Ushiromiya Battora. I know more zan justo you name.

I know about you dream.

I know... you have skereton in croseto. I know about you famiry. I know about you parentsu... Even darring ritteru sisteru.

I even know... About rist of drinks bought today...

Battler's already aggressively weirded out, but the guy introduces himself as Nakamura Shinsuke, and states that Battler, and his dream... have no prace in his own. And now, his dream... wirr be you nightmare! Just after coming out of his detective stunt, he gets beat up by a random guy? At the very least he wants some answers and what the hell he means by "dream".

So... you don't know? Fufufu. 実に面白い。 Even if you haven't figure it out yet... I can see it in you eye. You dream は... dangerous. Dangerous to プロレス. You dream and mine... cannot coexist.

It still doesn't make a lick of sense, but then the guy runs off saying "We finish this some other time."... whoever he was, his english sucked.

Feats[edit | edit source]

  • Battler is one of the first wrestlers in TFR that stood back up after getting hit by Chris Redfield's deadly Boulder Punch.
  • Beat 47 after being back-attacked by him
    • Beat 47 despite being sneak attacked by Max Payne
    • Not only beat 47 a third time in a 3 way tag team match, but was the one to pin 47, asserting his dominance once and for all on the assassin
    • Beat Max Payne while 47 constantly distracted both Battler, and the ref, and taunted throughout the entire match
    • Broke 47 and Payne's spirits
  • Dethroned Joe and Jack for the tag team championship with Wright
    • Then lost it to The Gym
  • Became the face of TFR as a whole.
    • Lives rent free on shitposters saying that entire seasons revolve around him when it hasn't ever been true (and he's dead for an entire 3 seasons).
  • Finally won a Multi-Man match on S3E3, breaking his multiman curse
  • Beat Chris-Chan not once, but twice. Unpowered and Powered forms, to boot.
  • Despite losing, gave his all to beat HUNK and get The Focusing Stone.
  • Defeated Black Battler by battling him with Truths and finally denying his existence with The Golden Truth.
  • Defeated Nanomachine-augmented HUNK with his Battler Blanco powerup.
  • Died
    • Then had the greatest heel turn in all of history when he revealed himself as the Death Game's host.
    • Also the best entrance.
  • Ranked 1st place in Season 6's Popularity Poll〈158 votes〉.
  • Won for Ange.
  • Ranked 1st place in Season 7's Popularity Poll〈171 votes〉. That's our Battler.
  • Had an undefeated streak during finale matches that continued to surprise everyone at his sheer increase in competency.
    • He lost on season 2 during a tag match though shut up
    • Lost the streak to Kinzo in S0 because he's retardler. Still put on a good match.
  • Ranked 1st place in Season 0's Popularity Poll〈189 votes〉. Third time baby.
  • Finally won a title (while holding a rubber ducky powerup).
  • Put on an excellent match with Wright in 2k22 that sets the example of how to do a perfectly fast-paced match.

Match History[edit | edit source]

Date Type Vs Result Records Singles Details
Elimination Chamber Ushiromiya Battler, Chris Redfield, Spiderman, Agent 47, Zoomer Lose
W0 L1 -1
0 1 P
Iconic Match
Battler for the Case
For Title: /v/
Battle Royale Ushiromiya Battler, Senator Armstrong, Arthur Morgan, Aniki, Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro, Ethan Winters, Extra Lose
W0 L2 -2
0 1 P
Tag-Team Paranormal Patrol

The Mystery Masters

W0 L3 -3
0 2 P
「/v/ Tag-Team Championship Tournament」
→Round 1
Falls Count Anywhere Ushiromiya Battler, Dutch van der Linde, Mr. X, Joker Lose
W0 L4 -4
0 3 P
Royal Rumble
Full List
W0 L5 -5
0 3 P
For Title: Million Dollar
Tag-Team The Therapy

The Mystery Masters

W0 L6 -6
0 3 P
Iconic Match
Rise of the Mystery Masters
The Mystery Masters

Champions The Gym

W0 L7 -7
0 3 P
For Title: /v/ Tag-Team
Royal Rumble
Full List
W0 L8 -8
0 3 P
Iconic Match
For Title: /v/ #1 Contender
Ushiromiya Kinzo Win
W1 L8 -7
1 3 P
W1 L0 1
1 0 P
Iconic Match
Battler Can Win
Support: Saihara & Wright (The Mystery Masters)

Note: Battler gains the Cape of Rokkenjima.

Fatal-4-Way Ushiromiya Battler, Big Smoke, Erwin Smith, Raiden Lose
W1 L9 -8
1 3 P
For Title: King of Jobbers #1 Contender
Triple-Threat Ushiromiya Battler, Kenny, Adam Jensen Lose
W1 L10 -9
1 3 P
For Title: /v/ Tag-Team #1 Contenders
Kotomine Kirei Win
W2 L10 -8
2 3 P
W2 L0 2
2 0 P
Iconic Match
MITB Qualifier: Holy Magic is Real
For: MITB Qualifying
MITB Serge, Senator Armstrong, Ruber, Agent 47, Ushiromiya Battler, Richtofen, Steve Lose
W2 L11 -9
2 3 P
Brendan Fraser Win
W3 L11 -8
2 3 P
W3 L0 3
2 0 P
DQ: due to Agent 47 invading
Royal Rumble
S2E4§#/v/ Championship: Rumble of /v/
Full List
W3 L12 -9
2 3 P
Iconic Match
/v/ Championship: Rumble of /v/
For Title: /v/
Agent 47 Win
W4 L12 -8
3 3 P
W4 L0 4
3 0 P
W5 L12 -7
4 3 P
W5 L0 5
4 0 P
Iconic Match
Battler Rejects the Assassination Duo
Note: Max Payne ran-in to attack Battler
Royal Rumble
S2E6§#BONUS: Not-so Big Headed Royal Rumble
Full List
The Mystery Masters, The Agents of Payne, FOOTBALL Win
W6 L12 -6
5 3 P
Iconic Match
The Masters of Payne have an Announcement
For Title: /v/ Tag-Team #1 Contenders
Max Payne Win
W7 L12 -5
6 3 P
W6 L0 6
5 0 P
Backstage Brawl Steve Lose
W7 L13 -6
6 3 P
W6 L1 5
5 0 P
Tag-Team Champions The Bakers

The Mystery Masters

W8 L13 -5
6 3 P
For Title: /v/ Tag-Team
Steve Win
W9 L13 -4
6 3 P
W7 L1 6
5 0 P
Komaeda Nagito Win
W10 L13 -3
7 3 P
W8 L1 7
6 0 P
Ushiromiya Battler, Ja/ck/, Van Darkholme Lose
NON-CANON Beatrice the Golden Lose Game: Fire Pro Wrestling World
Tag-Team Champions The Mystery Masters

The Gym

W10 L14 -4
7 4 P
For Title: /v/ Tag-Team
W11 L14 -3
8 4 P
W9 L1 8
7 0 P
Note: Battler took 6 neckbreakers without dying and ended HANK in 1 BTB.
Ushiromiya Battler, Balthios James, Dracula, Edward Richtofen Lose
W11 L15 -4
8 5 P
Game: WWF No Mercy For Title: /v/ #3 contendership
Ushiromiya Battler, CJ, Sebastian Lacroix, Mrs. X Win
W12 L15 -3
10 5 P
Game: WWE Smackdown! Here Comes the Pain

Note: Holy shit he finally did it, he won a multi-man match.

Time Limit
Hank Wimbleton, Ico, Johnny Knoxville, Ushiromiya Battler, Undertaker, Richtofen NC Stage: Times Square Brawl

Note: Only Ico and Hank were actually fighting, Battler was building up speed in a corner and the rest were rolling around in gay baby jail corner.

Johnny Knoxville, Hank, Ushiromiya Battler, Richtofen, Undertaker, Ico Lose Stage: Storage Brawl

Note: Undertaker was the only one to pin.

Chris-chan Win
W13 L15 -2
11 5 P
W10 L1 9
8 0 P
Iconic Match
Measurement of the Mad Fool
Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006

Note: Battler ended Chris with a Shining Wizard straight to the head, possibly giving CWC (extra) brain damage.

Falls Count Anywhere
Ushiromiya Battler, Agent 47, Maximillion Pegasus, Armstrong Lose
Iconic Match
All Champions Present...?
Sonichu Chris-Chan with Focusing Stone Win
W14 L15 -1
12 5 P
W11 L1 10
9 0 P
Iconic Match
Battling of the Mad Prophet
Game: WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2011

Note: Somehow used his "Battler's Rage" to gain 3 Finishers

Extreme Rules HUNK Lose
W14 L16 -2
12 6 P
W11 L2 9
9 1 P
Iconic Match
Battle of Rokkenjima: Golden Sorcerer vs. The Grim Reaper
Ironman 20' Black Battler Truth Counter


W15 L16 -1
17 8 P
W12 L2 10
14 3 P
Iconic Match
Rumble of the Black Sorcerer
Note: 47 invading to pull a Backstabber on Battler

Note: Battler and Black as the both fought they threw Red Truths at each other, but Battler managed to prove what was real in the end.

Agent 47 Lose
W15 L17 -2
17 9 P
W12 L3 9
14 4 P
Iconic Match
Final Rumble of Sorcerer and Assassin
Support: Phoenix Wright & Saihara Shuichi (The Mystery Masters)

Stage: Ring of Rokkenjima.

Ironman 10'
Leon S. Kennedy (2), Ushiromiya Battler (1), Aniki, Zoomer, Alucard (1) Lose
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Game: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain
Supporting Kinzo Ushiromiya
Note: goodbye match for Kinzo.
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006
Full List
Lose Game: WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2011
Entry Order
  1. Central
  2. Edward Richtofen (Ultimis)
  3. Arthur Morgan
  4. Vergil
  5. Chosen Hunter
  6. Rando
  7. Doctor Piccolo
  8. Fargoth


NC Game: WWE 2K19

Note: Crashed, restarted next match with different orders.

Entry Order
  1. Battler Ushiromiya
  2. Shingo Shoji
  3. Edward Richtofen (Ultimis)
  4. Rage Guy
  5. G-Man
  6. Mean Mark Calloway
  7. Rance
  8. Adam Jensen
  9. Archer
  10. Chosen Hunter
  11. Tatsuya Suou
  12. Louis
  13. Albert Wesker
  14. Rando
  15. Osama Bin Laden
  16. Vergil
  17. Van Darkholme
  18. Doctor Piccolo
  19. DELTA
  20. Arthur Morgan
Lose Game: WWE 2K19
NON-CANON? Battler's Envy
Battler's Wrath
Battler's Pride
Battler's Lust
Battler's Greed
Battler's Gula
Battler's Sloth Faith
Iconic Match
Battle of the Twilight Mind
Royal Rumble
  1. Steve Burnside
  2. Black Ref
  3. Vorgin
  4. Kirei Kotomine
  5. Sebastian LaCroix
  6. Ricardo Milos
  7. Big Show
  8. Chuck
  9. Raidou Kuzunoha
  10. Mrs. X
  11. Eric Sparrow
  12. HANK
  13. Richtofen
  14. Albert Wesker
  15. Donte
  16. Sneed
  17. Van Darkholme
  18. Doomguy
  19. Arkantos
  20. Arthur Morgan
  21. Mark Wolff
  22. CJ
  23. Aniki
  24. Agent 47
  25. Chris Benoit
  26. Tommy Wiseau
  27. Hank Wimbleton
  28. Johnny Knoxville
  29. The Undertaker
  30. Battler Ushiromiya
Lose 『Christmas Special』
Games: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain
  1. Hulk Hogan
  2. Leon S. Kennedy
  3. Nemesis
  4. Battler Ushiromiya
  5. Demi-Fiend
  6. Door-Kun
  7. Richtofen
  8. Vergil
  9. Dante
  10. Arthur Morgan
  11. Rey Misterio
  12. Manny Pardo
  13. Frank West
  14. Scout
  15. Chris Benoit
  16. Maximillion Pegasus
  17. John Cena
  18. Winnie the Pooh
  19. HANK
  20. Big Show
  21. Garcian Smith
  22. Andrei Ulmeyda
  23. Pixy
  24. Commander Shepard
  25. Homer Simpson
  26. Chris-chan
  27. Julius Little
  28. Spider-Man
  29. Reverse Flash
  30. Bane
Lose 『Christmas Special』
Games: WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2006
  1. Leon S. Kennedy
  2. Maximillion Pegasus
  3. Louis
  4. Michael Jordan
  5. Zombie Benoit
  6. Erwin Smith
  7. Garcian Smith
  8. Undertaker's Druid
  9. Christine
  10. Max Payne
  11. Chris Redfield
  12. Edward Richtofen (Ultimis)
  13. Manny Pardo
  14. Jonathan
  15. Johnny Klebitz
  16. Andrei Ulmeyda
  17. The Undercarder
  18. Cole MacGrath
  19. Balthios James
  20. Battler Ushiromiya
  21. Alex Mercer
  22. Yosuke
  23. Albert Wesker
  24. Goro Majima
  25. Walter
  26. Dutch Van Der Linde
  27. Edward Richtofen (Primis)
  28. Doomguy
  29. Fred Jones
  30. Arthur Morgan
Lose 『Christmas Special』
Games: WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2011
  1. Gordon Freeman
  2. Richtofen
  3. Dracula
  4. Battler Ushiromiya
  5. Leon S. Kennedy
  6. Manny Pardo
  7. Ho
NC 『Christmas Special』
Games: WWE No Mercy
  1. Rex
  2. Junpei (ZE)
  3. Battler Ushiromiya
  4. Jenny
  5. Bob Ross
  6. Garfield
  7. Juuza Amakusa
  8. Junpei (Persona)
Lose 『Christmas Special』
Games: FirePro Wrestling World
Chris Redfield, Boomer, Albert Wesker, Dutch van der Linde, Spider-Man, Agent 47, Zoomer, Ushiromiya Battler Lose TFR's 1st Anniversary
For: Fake Case of Sperm
2/3 Falls Agent 47 Lose
W15 L18 -3
~17 11 P
W12 L4 8
14 6 P
A Red Doll of Truth
For: Immunity×1

As: doll rival.

Fatal 4-Way
Ushiromiya Battler, Hachijo Tohya, Peleador Ushiromiya, Black Battler Win
Iconic Match
The Battler Royale
Sebastian LaCroix, Ushiromiya Battler, Doomguy, Arkantos Lose Game: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain
NON-CANON Narushima Koga, Haze Stratos, Ooishi Kuraudo, Geralt of Rivia

Ushiromiya Battler, HUNK, Cam on Ingurland, Kotomine Kirei

Agent 47 Lose Note: Rule 63 Episode
Royal Rumble
  1. Yuki Makoto
  2. Suou Tatsuya
  3. Queen of Ingurland
  4. Rena Schwarzer
  5. Randa
  6. Ushiromiya Battler
  7. Pieckstra
  8. Haze Stratos
  9. Agent 63
  10. Pamela
Ushiromiya Battler, Raiden, Albus Bernstein, Okabe Rintarou

JOKER, Fred Jones, Roger Retinz, Mario

30-Man Royal Rumble
  1. Tazuna Joe
  2. Albus Bernstein
  3. Robert
  4. Dimitri Blaiddyd
  5. Adol Christin
  6. Ruber
  7. Headmaster
  8. Rean Schwarzer
  9. Sakakura Juzo
  10. Gold
  11. Mitake Miyao
  12. Arthas Menethil
  13. Ushiromiya Battler
  14. G-Man
  15. Second Carlos
  16. Haze
  17. Kasuga Ichiban
  18. Fred Jones
  19. Ooishi Kuraudo
  20. Travis Touchdown
  21. John Bradford
  22. Kadoya Tsukasa
  23. Kotomine Kirei
  24. Dr. Piccolo
  25. Rance
  26. Emir
  27. Okabe Rintarou
  28. Demi-fiend
  29. Date Kaname
  30. Albert Wesker
Lose For Title: King of Noncanon
Date Kaname & Tazuna Joe

Ushiromiya Battler & Suou Tatsuya

NON-CANON Date Kaname Lose
30-Man Royal Rumble
  1. Suou Tatsuya
  2. Okabe Rintarou
  3. Narushima Koga
  4. Second Carlos
  5. Phoenix Wright
  6. Ooishi Kuraudo
  7. JOKER
  8. The Necrodancer
  9. Lucifer
  10. Kotomine Kirei
  11. Head Doctor
  12. Rean Schwarzer
  13. Tricky
  14. Extra
  15. Raiden
  16. Roger Retinz
  17. Travis Touchdown
  18. Maebara Keiichi
  19. Bevi
  20. Elite Crew
  21. Ushiromiya Battler
  22. Kasuga Ichiban
  23. Demi-fiend
  24. Haze
  25. Arthas Menethil
  26. Komaeda Nagito
  27. Dutch van der Linde
  28. Dimitri Blaiddyd
  29. Cam on Ingurland
  30. Philip U. Butler
Lose For Title: King of Noncanon #1 contendership

Elimination №22

No Holds Barred
Edward Richtofen Lose
Ushiromiya Battler×4

Agent 47×4

Win Rokkenjimania II
Ushiromiya Battler, Suou Tatsuya, Philip U. Butler, Ooishi Kuraudo, Rance, Adol Christin, Vorgin, Godzilla Lose Rokkenjimania II
Note: Battler Alignment Fight
Last Man Standing
Majima Goro Lose Rokkenjimania II
The Grinch, Steve, Shrek, Extra, Spider-Man, Ushiromiya Battler, Chad, Triple H Lose
Todoroki Shoto, V, Majima Goro, HULK, Ushiromiya Battler, Max Payne, Agent 46, Extra Lose
Royal Rumble
Full List Lose
Ironman 20'
Agent 47 (3-3) Draw Rokkenjimania II』 GOLDEN LAND
Support: Phoenix Wright & Saihara Shuichi
Backstage Brawl
Champion Steve Lose Rokkenjimania II』 GOLDEN LAND
For Title: NXT Golden
Agent 6 Gorillion

Agent 47 & Ushiromiya Battler

Win Note: Lost by Submission
Royal Rumble
  1. Angry Video Game Nerd
  2. Louis
  3. Hachijo Tohya
  4. Edward Richtofen (Primis)
  5. Hazama Masayoshi
  6. This Man
  7. Terry Davis
  8. Drake Bell
  9. Kino Punch
  10. Dan Schneider
  11. Pink Gril
  12. Agent 6 Gorillion
  13. Garcian Smith
  14. Agent 47
  15. Extra
  16. Big Knife Manju
  17. Ushiromiya Battler
  18. Phosphophyllite
  19. Travis Touchdown
  20. Ilya Kuvshinov
  21. The Prince of Persia
  22. Date Kaname
  23. Nagisa Kaworu
  24. Tony Hawk
  25. Triple H '01
  26. Majima Goro
  27. Andrew Dobson
  28. H. P. Lovecraft
  29. Kiryu Kazuma
  30. The Demon of Debt
Lose Elimination №15
Last Man Standing
Brock Lesnar Lose Game: Smackdown! Here Comes The Pain!
NON-CANON Rance Lose
Tag-Team The Ushiromiyas

Feed & Seed

W16 L18 -2
~17 ~11 P
Royal Rumble
  1. Sneed
  2. Kaidou Shun
  3. Delta
  4. Ushiromiya Battler
  5. Jayden
  6. Jevil
  7. Eren Yeager
  8. Gregory Edgeworth
  9. Gokuhara Gonta
  10. Jacopo Bearzatti
  11. Morgana
  12. Emperor
  13. Rakesh Kumar Orton
  14. Zeussu
  15. Extra
  16. Apollo Justice
  17. YandereDev
  18. Fatlus
  19. Our Black Friend
  20. Narihisago Akihito
  21. Deid Mann
  22. Store Manager
  23. Shinguji Korekiyo
  24. Hagakure Yasuhiro
  25. Mishina Eikichi
  26. Nanjo Kei
  27. Saihara Shuichi
  28. Manuel
  29. Ushiromiya Kinzo
  30. Bevi
W16 L19 -3
~17 ~11 P
Elimination №2
Beatrice Win
W17 L19 -2
~18 ~11 P
W13 L4 9
15 6 P
Ooishi Kuraudo Win
W18 L19 -1
~19 ~11 P
W14 L4 10
16 6 P
Fatal 4-Way
Extreme Rules
Jayden, Ushiromiya Battler, Leo Shishigami, Maebara Keiichi Lose
W18 L20 -2
~19 ~12 P
For Title: Literal Who #1 contendership
Royal Rumble
  1. J.J. Racaza
  2. Burgerberg Q-taro
  3. Apollo Justice
  4. Yanagishita Junichi
  5. Satou Gashu
  6. Okonogi Tetsurou
  7. Okonogi Tetsurou
  8. Wang Yuanhong
  9. Agent 17
  10. Laius Thorden
  11. Hagakure Yasuhiro
  12. Deid Mann
  13. Vinegar Doppio
  14. Shoji Shingo
  15. Parco Folgore
  16. Lucid
  17. Okonogi Tetsurou
  18. Store Manager
  19. Gokuhara Gonta
  20. Mishina Eikichi
  21. Our Black Friend
  22. Shinguji Korekiyo
  23. Ushiromiya Kinzo
  24. Takahashi Ryosuke
  25. Ushiromiya Battler
  26. Fatlus
  27. Nanjo Kei
  28. Draco Malfoy
  29. Kaidou Shun
  30. Sam Stone
W19 L20 -1
~19 ~12 P
For Title: TDKR #1 contendership
Falls Count Anywhere
Extreme Rules
2/3 Falls
Champion Susuhara Suzumu (0-2) Win
W20 L20 0
~20 ~12 P
W15 L4 11
17 6 P
For Title: TDKR
Ironman 30'
Geralt of Rivia (2-7) Win

Falls Count Anywhere

Ushiromiya Battler, Narushima Koga, Rean Schwarzer, Chris Redfield, Triple H Lose
30-Man Royal Rumble
  1. Kyle Hyde
  2. Agent 47
  3. Aniki
  4. Bane
  5. Adam Jensen
  6. Gold
  7. Arthur Morgan
  8. V
  9. Ushiromiya Battler
  10. Max Payne
  11. Majima Goro
  12. Junpei
  13. Fred Jones
  14. Chad
  15. Albert Wesker
  16. Tazuna Joe
  17. Brendan Fraser
  18. Dutch van der Linde
  19. Yuki Makoto
  20. Hijiri Jyoji
  21. Big Smoke
W20 L21 -1
~20 ~12 P
For Title: /v/ #1 contender

Elimination №11

20-Man Royal Rumble
  1. Ushiromiya Battler
  2. Dutch van der Linde
  3. Yuki Makoto
  4. Fred Jones
  5. Chad
  6. Big Smoke
  7. The Joker
  8. Ruber
  9. Joshua Graham
  10. Mario
  11. Rean Schwarzer
  12. Jonesy
  13. Central
  14. Geralt of Rivia
  15. Chris Redfield
W20 L22 -2
~20 ~12 P
For Title: /v/ #1 contender

Elimination № 2

The Mystery Masters & Ushiromiya Battler

Champions The Sons of Sperdo

W20 L23 -3
~20 ~13 P
Kyle Hyde Lose
W20 L24 -4
~20 ~14 P
W15 L5 10
17 7 P
Note: Loser has to accompany Wright to the ring
Royal Rumble
  1. Bevi
  2. Mastema
  3. Boomer
  4. Van Darkholme
  5. Fred Jones
  6. Tazuna Joe
  7. Geralt of Rivia
  8. Bolo Reynolds
  9. Dutch van der Linde
  10. JC Denton
  11. The Janitor
  12. Andrew Dobson
  13. Komaeda Nagito
  14. Shrek
  15. V
  16. Ushiromiya Battler
  17. Chad
  18. Ilya Kuvshinov
  19. Russell Adler
  20. John Bradford
  21. Kong Wenge
  22. Senator Armstrong
W20 L25 -5
~20 ~14 P
For: TFR General Manager Position

Elimination #15

Ushiromiya Kinzo Lose
W20 L26 -6
~20 ~15 P
W15 L6 9
17 8 P
「Tournament Qualifiers」
→Qualifiers Phase 1
2/3 Falls Kaidou Shun (2-0) Lose
W21 L26 -5
~22 ~15 P
W16 L6 10
19 8 P
「TFR vs. BCW: The Final Tournament」
Note: After losing every match this season, once again Battler claims a last moment victory.
NON-CANON Agent 47 Lose Game: WWE 2K18
Royal Rumble
Full List
NON-CANON Triple H Win Game: WWE 2K18

Note: For some reason, despite being on almost the same stat average, the game activated squash mechanics on Battler, setting momentum to maximum and giving Triple H multiple finishers at the start.

Despite this, with some luck, Battler managed to survive and defeat him in a short and bizarre gigadimes match.

Ushiromiya Battler, Agent 47, Triple H '98

HUNK, Rakesh Kumar Orton, Undercarder '00

Win Game: WWE 2K18

Note: Battler did a cool never before seen ladder sprint drop on HUNK.

Saihara Shuichi, Ushiromiya Battler, Emperor, Nakamura Shinsuke

Fred Jones, Leon S. Kennedy, Chad, Extra

Win Game: 2K18
Ushiromiya Battler ×4

Kaidou Shun ×4

Lose Note: Experimental Matches
Steel Cage
Steel Cage
2/3 Falls
Triple H NC Note: Experimental Match Type

Note: And thus our lord and savior BATTLER was crucified on the steel cage, purging us of our jobbings. Amen.

Team Ushiromiya Battler, Kaidou Shun, Hisoka, Furio Tigre

Team Maebara Keiichi, HUNK, Akasaka Mamoru, Eren Yeager

Lose Note: Battler was eliminated 2 minutes in. Multiman curse strikes again.

Note: Akasaka got eliminations via Pinfall, KO & C-O

2/3 Falls
Sinbad (0-2) Win Note: Agent 41 distracted Battler then stood around like a doll.
Royal Rumble
Full List
Win Popularity Poll Rumble」
Place: 1st〈171 votes〉
Falls Count Anywhere
Eren Yeager Win
Ironman (30)
Kenny Omega (4-3) Lose 「TFR vs. AEW Tournament」
Note: Battler and Kenny both somehow ended in the crowd which should be impossible.

After that, when trying to exit, they fucking FLEW into the ring.

Afterwards Battler did a cool table dodge.

Spazz Maticus Lose 「Spazz Wrestling Training」
Note: Not even Battler can save him.

His weak punches can't even be sold.

So Spazz convinced himself that he had to beat Battler to go over.

Spazz then fucking concussed Battler by throwing him on the ropes. And then keeps botching moves.

Battler gets so mad he starts shooting on him and fucking knees his skull with another wrestler's sig (A V-Trigger).

He keeps doing subs and covers expecting Spazz to have the courtesy to end the match, but Spazz fucking refuses to not go over, headbut, 1-2-3.

Ushiromiya Battler, Kotomine Kirei, Mitake Miyao

Second Carlos, Kyle Hyde, Max Payne

Win Note: Gigadimes
2/3 Falls
Extreme Rules
Leon S. Kennedy (2-1) Lose
Ironman 60m
Agent 1822 Draw Note: After failing to counter a single finisher and losing most of the match, in the last minute, Battler finally counters it, does two flips (?) and does one last BTB to draw it.
Spazz Maticus, Akasaka Mamoru

Ushiromiya Battler, Furio Tigre

Win Spazz Wrestling Training IV
Battler Royale
Ushiromiya Battler ×8 Win
『April's Fools』
Note: battler
Eren Yeager

Feed & Seed, Kubota Zen, Ushiromiya Farmler

Win As: Ushiromiya Farmler
2/3 Falls
King Farmer (2-1) Lose
  1. Eren Yeager (Bird)
  1. King Farmer
  2. Morgana
  3. Ushiromiya Farmler
  4. Sneed
  5. Kubota Zen
  6. Armin Arlert
  7. Reiner Braun
Royal Rumble
Full List
W21 L27 -6
~22 ~15 P
For Title: /v/ World #1 Contender
Roman Reigns, Edge, Ushiromiya Battler Lose Note: Edge intercepted the final Spear for Battler by standing in front of him, saving him, but at what cost...
NON-CANON Maebara Keiichi Lose Maebara Keiichi's Birthday Bash
Royal Rumble
OS7E19§#The Higurashi Rumble
Full List
Ironman 30
Chris Redfield (1), Maebara Keiichi (1), Sinbad (1), Roman Reigns (1), Ushiromiya Battler (0) Lose Maebara Keiichi's Birthday Bash
For Title: Hardcore
NON-CANON Perc Jones Lose
Tournament Brendan Fraser Win
W22 L27 -5
~23 ~15 P
W17 L6 11
20 8 P
Tournament For Contendership
Gene Win
W23 L27 -4
~24 ~15 P
W18 L6 12
21 8 P
Jayden Win
W24 L27 -3
~25 ~15 P
W19 L6 13
22 8 P
Tournament For Contendership
For Title: /v/ World #1 Contender
Extreme Rules
2/3 Falls
The Storm (0-2) Win
W25 L27 -2
~27 ~15 P
W20 L6 14
24 8 P
As: Ushiromiya Tubbler (Finale Forme)

For Title: /v/ World

Okada Kazuchika Lose
W25 L28 -3
~27 ~16 P
W20 L7 13
24 9 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Game: 2K20
Mid Show Lose
W25 L29 -4
~27 ~17 P
W20 L8 12
24 10 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena
No-DQ Saihara Shuichi Win
W26 L29 -3
~28 ~17 P
W21 L8 13
25 10 P
Ushiromiya Battler×999+ NC Note: Unlimited Battler Works
Ironman 20' No One (1-0) Lose
W26 L30 -4
~28 ~18 P
W21 L9 12
25 11 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena
Ironman 20'
Extreme Rules
Agent 47 (0-3) Win
No-DQ Robo-Battler Win
W27 L30 -3
~28 ~18 P
W22 L9 13
25 11 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena

Note: Submission.

Royal Rumble
Full List
Ironman 30'
True-To-Life Agent 47 (1-4) Win
Steel Cage
2/3 Falls
Fred Jones (2-1) Lose
W27 L31 -4
~29 ~19 P
W22 L10 12
26 12 P
Stage: NXT
Ironman 20' Agent 34 (1-3) Win
W28 L31 -3
~32 ~20 P
W23 L10 13
29 13 P
As: Furude Rikaler

Stage: Leon's Dream

Royal Rumble
Full List
W28 L32 -4
~32 ~20 P
Ironman 20'
Agent 47 (3-4) Win Game: WWE Day of Reckoning
NON-CANON Agent 47 Lose Game: WWE Day of Reckoning

Note: 47 blasted Battler (and everyone watching) away with his incredible dance. We may never witness anything like it ever again.

MMA Kido Reiji Lose
W28 L33 -5
~32 ~20 P
W23 L11 12
29 13 P
Game: MMA jap game

Note: Submission

Narushima Koga (10-0) Lose
W28 L34 -6
~32 ~20 P
W23 L12 11
29 13 P
Game: MMA jap game
No-CO CM Punk Lose
W28 L35 -7
~32 ~21 P
W23 L13 10
29 14 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena


W29 L35 -6
~33 ~21 P
W24 L13 11
30 14 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena
NON-CANON Senator Armstrong Win
Ironman 30' Ushiromiya Kinzo? (4-4) Draw
W29 L35 -5
~37 ~25 P
W24 L13 12
34 18 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena

Note: This dumb nigger did one last Shining Wizard and didn't pin.

Extreme Rules
Sudden Death
Ushiromiya Kinzo? Win
W29 L36 -6
~37 ~26 P
W24 L14 11
34 19 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena

Note: It's over battler-never-jobs-finales bros...

Gregory Edgeworth Win
W30 L36 -5
~38 ~26 P
W25 L14 12
35 19 P
Stage: Rokkenjima Secret Arena
Agent 47 Lose
W30 L37 -6
~38 ~27 P
W25 L15 11
35 20 P
Rokkenjimania III』– Opening Arc
Joshua Graham Win
W31 L37 -5
~39 ~27 P
W26 L15 12
36 20 P
Rokkenjimania III』– Opening Arc
For Title: /v/ World Title

Note: Squashed in a single Shining Wizard

Ushiromiya Battler & Steve

The Order of Todd

Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Tournament Arc
Ushiromiya Battler & Steve


Win Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Tournament Arc
Losers' Round 1←
Kaiba Seto & Seeker

Ushiromiya Battler & Steve

Win Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Tournament Arc
Losers' Round 2←
Ushiromiya Battler & Steve

Scrimblo & Bimblo

Win Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Tournament Arc
Losers' Round 3←
Garou & Saitama

Ushiromiya Battler & Steve

Win Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Tournament Arc
Losers' Round 4←
Ushiromiya Battler & Steve

Saber & Arcueid Brunestud

Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Tournament Arc
Losers' Round 5←
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown! Shut Your Mouth
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2011
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWF No Mercy
Steel Cage
Avril Lavigne Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown! Shut Your Mouth

Note: Avrilmania Tournament Quarterfinals

Masuda Junichi Win Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: MMA jap game

Note: Submission

Ironman 60'
The Chads (13)

Steve & Ushiromiya Battler (7)

Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Restoration Arc
Royal Rumble
Full List
NC Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Restoration Arc
Note: crashed
The Chads

Ushiromiya Battler & Ushiromiya Tubbler

Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Restoration Arc
Saihara Shuichi

The Mystery Masters & Steve

Win Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Restoration Arc
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Electric Rumble Boogaloo Arc
Game: WWE Day of Reckoning
Full List
Crash Rokkenjimania III』– The Final Arc
Team Agent 47; bear, Vernon Emata, Porky Minch

Team Ushiromiya Battler; Big Shot, Avril Lavigne, King Hama

Extreme Rules
Agent 47 Lose Rokkenjimania III』– The Final Arc
Game: MDickie's Wrestling MPire
The Mystery Masters

The Agents of Payne

Win Rokkenjimania III』– The Final Arc
Ironman 20'
The Chads (2)

Agent 47 & Ushiromiya Battler (1)

Ironman 30'
Witch 47 (3-12) Win Rokkenjimania III』– Final Twilight Fight
As: Witch 47

Note: A battle of certainty vs miracles, where miracles kept pouring.

Royal Rumble
Full List Win Popularity Poll Rumble」
Place: 01st 〈189 votes〉
Ushiromiya Battler, Phoenix Wright, Sinbad

My Movie

Win Note: Count-Out
Lucid Win
W32 L37 -4
~40 ~27 P
W27 L15 13
37 20 P
For Title: /v/ World
NON-CANON Kotomine Kirei Lose
Arikado Genya Lose
W32 L38 -5
~40 ~28 P
W27 L16 12
37 21 P
As: Battler (new year attire)

For Title: /v/ World

Note: Battler just suddenly lost out of nowhere, but strangely the replay had a totally different ending where he won. The titles stayed exchanged however.

Ironman 30'
Golden Agent (4-7) Win As: Ushiromiya Alexler
Chris Redfield Win
W33 L38 -4
~41 ~28 P
W28 L16 13
38 21 P
TFR World Cup – Hall of Fame Talent」

Note: Chris couldn't hit his Boulder Smash

Johnny Rumbleville Win
W34 L38 -3
~42 ~28 P
W29 L16 14
39 21 P
TFR World Cup – Hall of Fame Talent」
Leon S. Kennedy Lose
W34 L39 -4
~42 ~29 P
W29 L17 13
39 22 P
TFR World Cup – Hall of Fame Talent」
NON-CANON Agent 47 Lose Game: WWE 2K19
Steel Cage
2/3 Falls
Agent HHH (1-2) Win Game: WWE 2k22
NON-CANON? Agent 47000000 BC Win 『April Fools』
Game: WWE 2k22

As: Ugrugmiya Uggler

Extreme Ruless
Champion Agent 47 Win 「2K22 GM Mode」

For Title: WWE Title

Agent 470km/h Lose Note: ×2 speed match
Royal Rumble
Arena Titantron
NC Note: ×2 speed match

Note: Experimental match type

Note: Battler spawned in the right half of the ring, other contestants entered the side enclosed by THE WALL. Battler was suddenly teleported outside the ring for some reason.

Agent 47 NC Note: ×2 speed match

Note: Experimental match type

Note: Both were trapped staring at each other until it crashed

NON-CANON HUNK Lose 「2K22 GM Mode」
Note: ★★★½
Royal Rumble
Full List
W34 L40 -5
~42 ~29 P
For Title: /v/ World #2 Contender
NON-CANON Phoenix Wright Win
Iconic Match
「2K22 Universe Mode」
Note: Kyle had fake run in to distract Wright
Gladiatar & Ooishi Kuraudo, The Young Weight, Judgement Sorcerers Lose
W34 L41 -6
~42 ~30 P
For Title: Undisputed Tag-Team #1 Contenders
Extreme Rules
Beheaded Kamikaze Win Note: Blew up those small bombs
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Note: Crashed
Royal Rumble
Full List
W34 L42 -7
~42 ~30 P
For Title: /v/ World #1 Contender
Full List
W34 L43 -8
~42 ~30 P
For Title: /v/ World #1 Contender (winner) & Literal Jobber #2 Contender (runner-up)
Royal Rumble
Full List
Chris Redfield Lose
W34 L44 -9
~42 ~31 P
W30 L17 14
39 23 P
「TFR Championship Return Tournament」
→Round 1
W34 L45 -10
~42 ~32 P
W30 L18 13
39 24 P
『Great Balls of Fire』
Note: The moment belt rung, a strange shadow made itself present on the middle of the ring and remained there for the rest of the match.
Backstage Brawl
Â***Â** Ó**ÁÑ*S**Å** Win 『Great Balls of Fire』
Stage: Beyond the Seams

Note: not real

Spazz Maticus, Ushiromiya Battler, Senator Armstrong, Wayne, Narushima Koga Win Rokkenjimania IV』– Tables Arc
→Round 1
Apollo Justice, Angry Video Game Nerd, Walter White, Culprit-kun, Ushiromiya Battler Lose Rokkenjimania IV』– Tables Arc
Laius Thorden, Ushiromiya Battler, Chris Redfield, Maximillion Pegasus, Johnny Knoxville, Phoenix Wright, Jayden, Ooishi Kuraudo Lose Rokkenjimania IV』– Blood Arc
Yokozuna Win Rokkenjimania IV』– Dark World Arc
→Round 1

Stage: NXT

Purple Guy, Senator Armstrong, Kyle Hyde, HUNK, Ushiromiya Battler, Bevi, Wayne, Kiryu Kazuma Lose Rokkenjimania IV』– End of Sumo Arc
→Round 2
Royal Rumble
Full List
W34 L46 -11
~42 ~32 P
For Title: TFR #2 Contender
NON-CANON Adol Christin Lose
Royal Rumble
Full List
W34 L47 -12
~42 ~32 P
Note: Representing Morocco.
Team Leon S. Kennedy, Ushiromiya Battler, Dante, Suou Tatsuya

Team Chris Redfield, Agent 47, Phoenix Wright, Kiryu Kazuma

Iconic Match
Showdown of Protagonists
TFR's 4th Anniversary
Game: WWE 2K19
Extreme Rules
Ushiromiya Battler, Agent 47, Saihara Shuichi Lose TFR's 4th Anniversary
Stage: V3rtual Arena (Christmas)

Game: WWE 2K22


Extreme Rules
Agent 47 Win
Iconic Match
FINAL of 2K22
Stage: Cell Games
Dante, George Jackman, Ushiromiya Battler, Wayne

Phoenix Wright, Chris Redfield, Maximillion Pegasus, Majima Goro

NON-CANON Ushiromiya Battler Lose
Iconic Match
Game: WWE 2K23
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Game: WWE 2K23

Note: DL'd CAWs were so OP that the match's contendership was cancelled

Ironman 20'
Agent 47 (9-3) Lose Game: WWE 2K23
Phi Win
W35 L47 -11
~43 ~32 P
W31 L18 14
40 24 P
Iconic Match
Phi-ve Shining Wizard Stars over Tokyo Dome
Note: An extremely long match where they refused to take a quick way out and employed every technique in their repertoire to achieve victory.
NON-CANON HUNK Lose Referee: Saihara Shuichi

Note: win by rollup

Royal Rumble
Full List
W35 L48 -12
~43 ~32 P
For Title: Mystery Prize
Royal Rumble
Full List
Royal Rumble
Full List
W35 L49 -13
~43 ~32 P
For Title: TFR #1 Contender
NON-CANON Agent 47 Lose 「2K23 GM MODE」
Note: ★★
Francis York Morgan, The Prince, Mario, Suou Tatsuya

Cow Tools, Spazz Maticus, Ushiromiya Battler, Sam Stone

W35 L50 -14
~43 ~32 P
「Contendership Clash Tournament」
→Round 1
Royal Rumble
Full List
W35 L51 -15
~43 ~32 P
For Title: TFR #1 Contender
Ryuki Kuruto Lose
W35 L52 -16
~43 ~33 P
W31 L19 13
40 25 P
「AEW World Title Tournament」
Chris Win
W36 L52 -15
~44 ~33 P
W32 L19 14
41 25 P
『AEW Dark』
Zag "5'0" Reus, Ushiromiya Battler, Steve Burnside Win
W37 L52 -14
~45 ~33 P
The Legends


W38 L52 -13
~45 ~33 P
Iconic Match
Black Guardians of the Tower
Note: Chris got literally every KO.
Buddy Matthews Win
W39 L52 -12
~46 ~33 P
W33 L19 15
42 25 P
Champion Eugene Chaud Lose
W39 L53 -13
~46 ~34 P
W33 L20 14
42 26 P
For Title: AEW Future of Wrestling
NON-CANON Agent 47 Lose Rokkenjimania V』– WrestleDream Arc
Ironman 20'
Dumblefer (0-1) Win
Iconic Match
The Great Destroyer of Worlds
Rokkenjimania V』– Hopes and Dreams Arc
Scaffold Ladder Ushiromiya Battler, Zag "5'0" Reus,Travis Fuckhead,Peppino, Teddy Maxis, Joe Merrick, Adrian Buck Nickolas Mann Win
W40 L53 -12
~46 ~34 P
『Christmas Miracle Special』
Ironman 30'
Agent 47 (18-12) Lose
Iconic Match
The End of Year Match: No Brakes
Vergil Win
W41 L53 -11
~47 ~34 P
W34 L20 15
43 26 P
Iconic Match
The Undeniable Truth of Power
Note: Nero invaded to attack Battler with a chair, and it didn't fucking work and Vergil ate shit
Tag-Team The Elite Enigmas

Notorious Talent Rising

W41 L54 -12
~47 ~35 P
NON-CANON Agent 47 Lose TFR's 5th Anniversary
Game: WWE 2K23
Royal Rumble
Kiryu Kazuma(S0), Central(OS1), Ushiromiya Battler(S3), Phoenix Wright(S7), Agent 47(S5), Chris Redfield(S1), Suou Tatsuya(S6), Dante(S2), Extra(S4), God's Son(OS7) Lose TFR's 5th Anniversary
Game: WWE 2K19
Ryuki Kuruto Win
W42 L54 -11
~48 ~35 P
W35 L20 16
44 26 P
Note: Rakesh came out and attacked Battler after the match
Kaidou Shun Win
W43 L54 -10
~49 ~35 P
W36 L20 17
45 26 P
Ikazo Lose
W43 L55 -11
~49 ~36 P
W36 L21 16
45 27 P
Stage: Pro Wrestling Japan
Tohno Shiki Win
W44 L55 -10
~50 ~36 P
W37 L21 17
46 27 P
Iconic Match
The Young Lions
Stage: G1 Arena
NON-CANON Agent 47 Lose Game: WWE 2K24
Special Referee
Lose Game: WWE 2K24

Referee: Agent Ref

DQ: Ref's call

Backstage Brawl Sagara Sousuke Lose
W44 L56 -11
~50 ~36 P
W37 L22 16
46 27 P
Stage: G1 Arena
Johnny Cage Lose
W44 L57 -12
~50 ~37 P
W37 L23 15
46 28 P
Nakamura Shinsuke Lose
W44 L58 -13
~50 ~38 P
W37 L24 14
46 29 P
Stage: Near Club Vesuvio

History - G1[edit | edit source]

Date Type Vs Result Records Singles Details
Matches TBA

History - AA Rumble[edit | edit source]

AA Rumble
Date Type Vs Result Records Singles Details
Ushiromiya Battler & Agent 47

Payne Train

W0 L1 -1
1 1 P
Note: Rookies put in their place

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • BCW, previously associated with the Bogs, has been given a more positive connotation of "Battler Can Win".
  • Battler, or a version of him, has appeared on every episode until Season 3.
  • Despite having only few victories compared to countless losses, Battler has the best stats out of all of the CAW characters in TFR.
    • Nevermind goddler goes over
  • Battler has a distant cousin named Peleador Ushiromiya.
    • Some people think that they are the same person due to looking very alike and their only difference being that Peleador wears a poncho. And that Battler claims Peleador wasn't in the Rokkenjima incident since "Nobody invited him because nobody likes him"
    • As the icon of TFR and generally the concept of rumbles themselves, Battler has a myriad off-shoots and alternate versions. Some of them can be found here.
  • What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you fucking assassin? I'll have you know I graduated top of my field in jobbers, and I've been involved in numerous secret missions in bog territory, and the Howard Reality, and I have over 300 confirmed kills on one single man. I am trained in debative warfare and I'm the top wrestler in TFR. You are nothing to me but just another assassin. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this ring, mark my red fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the in front of an audience? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mystery masters across Japan, and your weaknesses are being found right now so you better prepare for the storm, assassin. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your pride. You're fucking dead, bitch. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can pin you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just on my own. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire fortune of the Ushiromiya family, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe every bit of your self-confidence off the face of the continent, you little bitch. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" contract was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have backed off. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now your partner has stage four depression, you goddamn idiot. I will shit truths all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking nonexistent, bitch.
  • Witches aren't real.
    • Assassins aren't real.
    • Holy Magic IS real
    • Death games ARE real.
  • AHHYESSIR My boy the BATTLER is gonna main event the HOTTEST SHOW OF THE SUMMER OFFSEASON live on the award winning TFR Network available for only $9.99 on Friday, May 28th where he will slay The Storm Vergil and become the /v/ Champion for the first time in his illustrious career. #RedTruthThat #Uwoooo #WhenItSeagulls #HisIsland #TheGuy #OneVsSmallbombs
  • Due to their prominence at defeating other opponents during their birthday (especially in G1) Battler and Ange are called "the birthday snatchers".

Gallery[edit | edit source]