Britannia

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"It was on the good ship Venus

By Christ, you should have seen us!

The figurehead was a whore in bed

And the mast, a mammoth penis!

The Captain of this lugger

He was a dirty bugger

He wasn't fit to shovel shit'

From one place to another!"

― Friggin In The Riggin, Sex Pistols
Britannia also known as The United Kingdom and "The C.S.F Great Britain, The C.S.F Britannia, The Wondering Nation, The United Fleets of Great Britain and The Terror of The Seas" is the home place of The Cartel Rumble. The United Kingdom is well known for being the first country to master naval warfare and they have gotten so good at it, they have turned the entire country itself into a warship to do battle against it's enemies. It was achieved by strapping very powerful engines that once required every power station on the country powering it, this meant that there was many blackouts in the United Kingdom until the country has moved itself into place. However due to a generous donation from the Magus of Mexico thanks to the existence of TCR showing that they are willing to follow the Legendary Laws of Wrestling to solve disputes, They was given magical means to eternally power the engines of the United Kingdom, so every citizen can now comfortably enjoy watching a bunch of people beat the everloving shit out of each other on TCR while Britannia moves to another country to "'av an 'oliday bruv" or to visit now dead countries to "take requisition of their resources. "Bruv if dey didn't want their shite gettin nicked, dey shouldn't 'av left it there in first place!"

History[edit | edit source]

After leaving the European Union, The United Kingdom realized that if they are to keep thriving as a nation by themselves they need to find a way to covertly trade with other countries and get resources from other nations under the radar. Looking back to how their ancestors conquered the entire world by mastering the art of naval warfare before every other country, an art of war that has now not been practiced for many years, The United Kingdom decided the best way to keep surviving is to turn the entire nation itself into a battle fleet that could take on even the strongest armies.

The conversion of the entire nation into a seafaring warship was a costly endeavor and did lead into a Dark Age of the United Kingdom where poverty was at an all time high while the conversion was going ahead but soon, The United Kingdom became a nation on the move capable of going anywhere. This conversion into a moving ship meant they could board a country and send the entire nation's citizens to loot the entire country quickly before quickly disembarking from the country before the country they are invading could amass an army into shape to create a counter attack. This strategy has proven fruitful for the United Kingdom which now renamed themselves as "The Continental Seafaring Fortress, Britannia. Flagship of The United Fleets of Great Britain" for now they can now sustain their nation via taking from others, just like how their ancestors managed to carve an empire out of the entire world the same way.

The Conscripted Fleets of His Majesty[edit | edit source]

The Conscripted Fleets of His Majesty are the first line of defense/attack for The United Fleets, the fleet consists of merchant/civilian ships that were taken by the United Fleets and re purposed into combat capable ships. Most of the ships are manned by prisoners looking to buy their freedom by fighting for the United Fleet or by volunteers looking to get higher in the Fleet's ranks. The ships are usually equipped with the cheapest weaponry the naval army provides with some of the weapons being made by the crew themselves. A list of weapons the Conscripts are known to use are:

  • A catapult that can fire a massive assortment of projectiles (Projectiles usually used are bundles of molotov cocktails, the crews trash cans, explosive barrels, cum rags, footballs tied with rope to ensnare ships or people, anvils and other stuff)
  • Mounted gun that consists of 10 Lee Enfield's taped together that shoot all at once but it requires all the guns to be cycled for the next barrage.
  • A mounted setup similar to the one above but created from a surplus supply of L85A1's to create something close to an LMG
  • Suicide boats made from speedboats and piloted by zealous members of the United Fleets or brainwashed dissidents to charge into enemy ships
  • Anti-air guns are provided in case the enemy is known for using aerial attacks.
  • Old cannons from the 1800s are also known to be on some of the cheaper ships
  • It is known that some ships have developed strategies to fire their own crew at an target to board the enemy ship/land.
  • Some ships are built to ram into land/ships and have the entire crew (which consists of the strongest, cunning and patriotic members of Britannia.) to charge into the ship/land

In The Modern Times[edit | edit source]

The current king, Paul "Cam On Ingurland" Gregory, inherited the throne by being one absolute footy lover and managing the impossible: uniting Souf and Norf (just for enough time to make him king anyways, then they went back to fucking over each other).

Due to the pacifist nature of modern times, the looting and warfare has much decreased to a small number of armed scuffles with nations generally everybody hates; however, the nation's need to be in constant movement still takes it's told, and the government is desperately looking for a solution (and failing because his majesty spends most of the time wraslin' at that Teefer place). This was solved eventually thanks to the mobilization of L Corp into the premises of The Cartel Rumble, this has severely benefited the nation and solved most of it's energetic crisis.

In The Year 2032[edit | edit source]

After the great disaster, and with the main island disappearing in a mysterious incident coinciding near that time, what was left of Britain was much crippled. As if that weren't bad enough, some lad named Ruber has returned after the disaster with the rightful crown of the king, taking over the kingdom, turning the royal castle in his image, and supporting the forces of chaos. Also The Asian Gangs gained a strong control, but that's nothing new.

When the Fleet is not exploring the world (and looting them), they are usually busy attempting to bring their empire back to the former glory it once had. There have been multiple attempts to recolonise India by the Britons after India's little "incident" has left it a desolate ruin that has highly advanced technology that could help strengthen the already strong fleet. However Britannia has had trouble in these attempts due to the robotic sea patrols left by the Indians destroying multiple ships that have attempted to sneak past the gigantic forcefield that prevents the biggest ships from directly entering India's sea making any attempts to even establish a foothold in India borderline impossible. They have also been known to dock in what used to be the state of California and try to take America back into their fold, but their unpatriotic obsession over the worship of corporations has made any attempts of negotiation very unlikely to get anywhere. Due to these circumstances, many Britons shrug their shoulders and treat the USA as a place to steal a lot of really expensive shit and possibly trade their stolen goods (Usually stolen from the Americans themselves but they are right thick cunts and never realise that.) for whatever shit the corporations have to offer.

Eventually, the king managed to defeat the cunt and regain his rightful throne in an invasion, but sadly, the forces of The Three Cunts launched missiles just after the fact, destroying the castle and many of the islands-ships, but like cockroachs, britons will probably survive. At least it's not the french.