|The Gamer Wizard
|You thought you bested me, Knight of the Holy Chain Brad, but you are INCORRECT IN YOUR ASSESMENT! For you see, I have cast a curse on you! I have bound you to a hex of my own design. You see, after your battle my beloved pet, the pee slime, may his soul find eternal peace and happiness, I have managed to collect a bit of your blood he drew of you after you MISERABLY failed to dodge his Ice Speear. With your blood in hand, I have managed to bind it, and by extension, you, to this button, and every time I press it, you EJACULATE! So, to put it bluntly, I am the reason why you CUM BUCKETS in front of the king and near children, and why you discharge quickly when having intercourse with THAT BLASTED WENCH KAREN! So, Brad, if you want RELEASE from this curse, venture into my GAMER LAIR, for it is the only place I can be truly slain!
The Knight Of The Holy Chain Brad had spent many of his living years attempting to find THE GAMER WIZARD to lift the curse and the recording of THE GAMER LAIR during E3 was the final clue to find out where this malicious magician resided and his chance to be rid of the curse that has plagued our unfortunate hero for many years has finally shown itself to our noble knight. He went to his attic of his small manor that he shares with his spouse The Fair Maiden Karen to retrieve his old equipment to accept the challenge put forth many years ago by THE GAMER WIZARD and set forth on a journey to the heart of Los Angeles to achieve his rightful vengeance on this ill mannered illusionist.
Brad finally managed to reach the heart of Los Angeles where inside the Los Angeles Convention Centre contained the GAMER LAIR. Entering the lair he discovered many unknown artifacts through his exploration of this wizardly abode such as a chipped PS2, an XBOX with an onahole and an PS4 with P.T. However to the annoyance of our noble knight, with many artifacts came a lot of obstacles with them. He had to fight through many Gamer Goblins who insisted that they have performed coitus on Sir Brad's mother despite her passing from this mortal coil many years before these gibbering buffoons came from whatever vat they were created in.
He also had to fight a woman that shared many features of a bat yet who was not a vampire playing a video game called Dark Souls who was enraged when our hero interrupted her no-hit run. But our warrior managed to fight off the vile she-bat until the smell was too much before blacking out. He awoke outside in a hallway with and he noticed something in the air, the cuntish conjurer is close.
|The Gamer Wizard
|Well, I was wondering who had the gall to intrude upon my GAMER LAIR , but I did not expect it to be you, Knight of the Holy Chain BRAD , who trespassed upon my property. I see you have manage to triumph over the various challenges I have placed upon you on your journey. I am quite surprised you are here, specially after I ordered my servant, ASMODEUS, THE FALLEN ANGEL , to take you down. Speaking of which, I quite enjoyed the fallout from the press after Asmodeus took the photos of you masturbating in a pile of MALFORMED FETUSES and giving them a facial in order to SAVE THAT ATROCIOUS WITCH KAREN FROM BEING RAPED BY MY PEE SLIMES. Now, I would love to talk more, however, the WIZARD COUNCIL is currently playing Minecraft. Worry not, for I have found a forbidden tome about COCK AND BALL TORTURE and passed it to my slaves. I heard that the slave corp leader, BELLE DELPHINE, has mastered that forbidden art. For now, farewell, for I have diamonds to mine now.
THE GAMER WIZARD was never in his lair. He was out doing his wizardly business with his council and he left one of his servants The Vile She-bat Asmodeus, who was once an angel cursed with her form and to play videogames at the hardest challenge after defying the gods by unplugging their LAN cable by accident during a CS 1.6 LAN match, to deal with the Knight.
In fear of losing everything including the love of his sweet dear Karen he ran away in fear, promising THE GAMER WIZARD he would never try to attack his GAMER LAIR again. But while he was running he ran into the lair of THE GAMER WIZARD's favourite pet beast GRIMFANG THE TURTLE, who in their hunger bit off Sir Brad's manhood.
A letter was sent The Fair Maiden Karen:
|The Gamer Wizard
|DEAR BLASTED WENCH KAREN, IT IS I, THE GAMING WIZARD, WRITING TO YOU FROM MY GAMER LAIR. A MOST TRAGIC OCCURRENCE HAS BEFALLEN YOUR HOLY KNIGHT OF THE CHAIN, BRAD. YOU SEE, IN HIS QUEST TO VANQUISH ME, HE HAS INTRUDED UPON THE GAMER LAIR WHILE I WAS OUT ON WIZARDCON DOING MY TALK ON THE EXCELLENT GAME DISGAEA 2.
A DEEPLY FASCINATING EXPERIENCE, BUT I'M SURE THAT YOUR FEEBLE MISTRESS BRAIN CANNOT COMPREHEND IT'S GREATNESS, SO I SHALL NOT DISCUSS IT FURTHER WITH YOU. NOW, I HAVE LEFT THE GAMER LAIR UNDER THE TRUSTED HANDS OF MY PET GRIMFANG THE TURTLE. I SHALL CUT TO THE CHASE HERE, SINCE THE MARIO 64 SPEEDRUN IS ABOUT TO START HERE AT WIZARDCON: GRIMFANG APPARENTLY DOESN'T HAVE HANDS, SO IT COULD NOT OPEN THE LIVE TARANTULA DRAWER, HIS FAVOURITE SNACK, AND, WHILE STARVING, SAW BRAD INVADE THE GAMER LAIR, AND BIT HIS MANHOOD OFF. BRAD IS OKAY FOR NOW, HE IS AT THE CHURCH BEING HEALED, HOWEVER, HE TOOK MY CURTAIN OFF TO HIDE THE BLOOD COMING OFF HIS MANHOOD. WITHIN THIS LETTER, IS THE RECEIPT OF THE NEW CURTAIN I BOUGHT. I DEMAND FULL MONETARY COMPENSATION FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE.SIGNED, THE GAMING WIZARD.