The Cartel Rumble/Iconic Matches

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The Cartel Rumble Season 1[edit | edit source]

Episode 1[edit | edit source]

The Case of Contract for TFR[edit | edit source]

The coveted TFR contract was a sought-after item in the Wrestling World. To get free access aboard the flying city-ship of Coolsville, and be a part of the legends that was TFR's roster... 8 came forth, to battle for the case. Kenshiro, the Fist of the North Star. Manager, the appointed head of Lobotomy Corporation. Spigot, a... real fucking perverted humanoid. Patrick Bateman, a serial killer with an enthusiasm for repeating numbers. Runescape Bot, a robot made in likeness of an old WWE Hall of Fame member. Woody, the cowboy with love for cherry-flavored lube. Hugh Neutron, just a father with adoration for ducks, and Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, a broken man who finally found some peace.

The fight went back and forth, until Bateman emerged victorious, the contract in hand. To think, that all those who participated would play a huge part in oncoming events...

Episode 2[edit | edit source]

The NeverEver Event[edit | edit source]

Words can't describe the match in entirety, so it is best be seen rather than read. https://www.twitch.tv/videos/527265304?t=2h11m6s

One of the great things about TCR, is that it is a way for some of the coveted fighters who haven't been able to get into TFR to duke it out. The country-warship Britannia certainly does have the manpower for that. As such, another group of 8 went to the ring to prove their worth and right of staying aboard the mighty ship.

They have assembled in two teams of four:

James Sunderland, the man from Silent Hill; Sigurd, the Lord on a horse; Ace Visconti, the Gambler and Yugi Moto, the King of Games have formed team James.

Dagoth Ur, the Sharmat; Dyatlov, the man of 3.6 Roentgen; Heavy, the Heavy Weapons Guy of Team Fortress and Quint, the former guardian of OP's dungeon have formed team Dagoth.

After a long battle, team Dagoth emerged victorious, with only Dyatlov and Quint doing everything on it.

Episode 3[edit | edit source]

The 40-minute Handicap Beatdown[edit | edit source]

Again, best be seen than summed up: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/531158959?t=2h23m40s

James, seeking a cursed retribution for his actions before TCR, asks the three strongest fighters, Dimitri, Big Dog and El Hermano for a handicap match. Reluctantly, they agreed, as long as at least someone else fought alongside James. Majima was conveniently passing by, and thus picked to be the guilt-trodden man's companion. What many have expected to be a quick and clean sweep turned into a 40-minute beatdown, where both James and Majima were eating signature moves and finishers like nobody's business. They have lost, as was expected of such a gruesome beatdown. Perhaps, the time for winning a handicap match was not yet appropriate.

Episode 9[edit | edit source]

Magical DICKSDICKSDICKS[edit | edit source]

The semi-finals of the Tag Team tournament of The Champions of The Empire have been awaited with much anticipation. For one of the fights would feature the rematch of Jerkcity Corp, featuring the perverted beatnik Spigot and the enigmatic Manager, who has the ability to grow stronger from fights he participates in, versus the Magical World, a couple made out of Eri, a notorious beast lover, and Big Dog, the colossal creature that remains one of the strongest in TCR and the Empire both. Only one team could advance to the finals, for the chance at the title belts. Both Manager and Spigot had a feeling they wouldn't be able to pin Big Dog. His power was too great for them both to overcome via brute force. There was, however, the weak link in that small chain. Eri did not have any supernatural powers or that much proficiency in the ring, and by beating her, they would be able to proceed onward. As such, they've begun their Containment Procedure. Finishers and signatures were tossed around like hot potatoes, most notably Spigot's Coast to Coast, which drew blood on Eri. However, the tides changed when Big Dog stepped into the ring. His awesome power was overwhelming whoever opposed him on the ring. Both Spigot and Manager had very close calls, when they'd be miliseconds away from the pin, yet be able to kick out of it or for the other member of Jerkcity Corp to interrupt. The Magical World kept on using tag moves, dealing serious damage to their opponents. Some could say that there was no hope...

Yet there was. There was another weak link in the Magical World, and that was the weakness of Big Dog himself. His head was VERY vulnerable to damage. Execution Bullet and the Double Repression left Big Dog dazed. In came Eri. And a few moments later, both her and Spigot were outside the ring, where the true Procedure could now be initiated. Whether due to damage dealt, or by sheer hatred, Eri and Big Dog doubled up on trying to kick Spigot's shit in, all outside the ring. Meanwhile, the countdown grew bigger. Suddenly, Spigot reversed Eri's attempt at getting his legs and knocked her down, out cold, at the count of 8. Not losing any momentum, he ran back into the ring, where he proceded to taunt to the audience, knowing that the victory was completely and utterly assured. And so it did. On count of 10, Eri was disqualified, and with her The Magical World. Jerkcity Corp won, and Manager was able to obtain the mysterious DoggoD Coat, as a reward for technically beating Big Dog. SpigotTech proved its' worth. DICKS! DICKS! DICKS!

Episode 10[edit | edit source]

Midnight Ordeal: Red[edit | edit source]

The jig was up. Edelgard was ambushed, Jerkcity Corp and Dimitri were betrayed by Sundowner, and forced to split up. The Tag Team Champions were assaulted by the elite troops of Edelgard. Hubert, Thales and the Death Knight. One would lose hope and all chances of winning upon being forced into a handicap match... but not the Jerkcity Corp. And especially not the Manager, who had obtained insurmountable power from the Big Dog. The DoggoD coat amplified his strength and agility, lessening the hold of the Laws of Wrestling upon him. And as one, the duo fought, and fought valiantly they did. Enduring numerous tag team signature moves, and employing special moves of their own, both sides have been relentless in their assault. And for quite a while, there was no certain winner. Each team would have a way to save their teammate from a certain pin.

But soon enough, the odds changed. Jerkcity Corp have employed the Jerkcity Protocol, relentlessly battering Death Knight and launching a special attack right into his groin. This has weakened the chain of the Empire. It was further weakened by giving some brain damage to Hubert, by employing the Double Dicking on him. The final nail in the coffin was Spigot locking the Death Knight in the Bonezone, further crippling him and making him an easy target to pin. The Manager rushed ahead with great alacrity, and intercepted the BRAIN DAMAGED Hubert. 1. 2. 3. The Jerkcity Corp won. They've done what was previously thought impossible. How, you ask? To quote Spigot:

Spigot
"DICKS!"
"DICKS!"
"DICKS!"
"And research I guess BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER!"

Reunion: Oath of the Dagger[edit | edit source]

In the split up, Dimitri ended up alone. Alone, with a certain someone. The Azure Moon and the Crimson Flower, reunited, on the field of battlefield, once more. And no one would back down. Why would they? They oppose each other in so many ways, that reconcilement seems completely out of the question. One will live. One will fall. In the match of 2 out of 3, their fate shall be decided.

Almost at the start of the match, Dimitri tried to use a Ladder for his advantage, but failed in that regard. Seeking advantage, Edelgard tried to cripple him with a Killer Axe, but Dimitri swiftly dodged. And then went for another weapon, seemingly very inclined to beat Edelgard with SOMETHING. He picked a bat, which was almost immediately dropped.With the crest of Sethig active, he employed the Tard Strength to start knocking the giant husk around without much effort. And after a brief scuffle and a boar-like charge to push Edelgard out of the ring, he followed up with Atrocity. And another one, which was countered into a dodged Killer Axe. Notably, Edelgard started doing pins on every opportunity, desperate in her attempts. Eventually, Dimitri got in an Atrocity, which let him pin her, and leave her with one life remaining. Which was almost immediatly lost when he followed with ANOTHER Atrocity. Adamant in making her fall, Dimitri went top rope, executing a Flying Boar, following with a Killer Lance and a Glowing Ember, and ANOTHER FUCKING ATROCITY, he pinned her and made her fall. 2-0. Relentless, unstoppable. THE BOAR.

And, in the end, the history does repeat itself. Dimitri reached out with his hand... and Edelgard slapped it, choosing to soar away in her madness.

Episode 12[edit | edit source]

The Suppression of Empire[edit | edit source]

"The Crimson Empress is returning."

And so, the time had come. After attempting to weaken Edelgard by disrupting the connections of her minions to Dicksucker, with only El Loco being able to take a piece of her power, four have assembled to challenge Edelgard and her elite head on. Dimitri, James, Manager, Spigot. For all of them, it was personal, in different extent. There was no chance for error, no room for mistakes. Too much was depending upon this fight to be even in some way at ease.


From the start, the forces of TCR could feel that something was wrong. When they were trying to use their special moves on Edelgard herself, they failed, most of the time, paralyzing them. Edelgard was protected by the Dicksucker, and it didn't leave many options available. And with that knowledge, the fight went on. Wrestlers changed places, exchanged vicious blows and have even attempted to count out each other, but first blood went to TCR, when Dimitri knocked Hubert out with an Atrocity and pinned him. Death Knight moved to intercept, but he was stopped by Spigot, and Dimitri was able to get Hubert out of the ring unimpeded.


Though soon that seeming advantage changed. Edelgard demolished Dimitri with an Aymr, and pinned him out. The teams were tied, once more. James stood in his stead, and he tried his hardest, but where he dodged one pin attempt with support from Manager, he couldn't dodge Edelgard's Killer Axe, and succumbed to her. Now, it was only Jerkcity Corp standing against the Empire. 2 versus 3. Just like how they did not too long ago.

And the instant Manager came in, Edelgard critted him, drawing his blood. Things were not looking good from the start. And yet, they preserved, for hope hinged on their shoulders. They certainly were more resilient than Dimitri and James, with Spigot being tossed around and abused like an onahole in a NEETcave. During that it was also revealed that the Ref might have been on Empire's payroll, as he had blocked Manager's attempt from intercepting Thales. Perhaps, as means of revenge, this is the reason Spigot unleashed the Dick Punch on Thales, practically killing the poor bastard, and pinning him effortlessly. And the score tied again. Perhaps there still was hope.

Suddenly, Edelgard and Manager stopped moving, engaging in a staredown, right in front of Spigot. Who knows what they were trying to do, but the strange haze on their minds was soon lifted by a very COMPLEX power. Edelgard took advantage of that and Aymr'd Manager, intending on finishing him just like she did to Dimitri. But, miraculously, the Manager kicked out of her finisher. The same strange haze soon began to gather around his mind, tempting him into giving control and unleashing the power stored inside. He refused, and just like that, the haze was lifted once more. Mere minutes after, Manager intercepted the Death Knight and sent him to the JC corner, knocking the Ref down. There, they unleashed a tag team move, where the Death Knight was tossed from the top rope to Spigot, RIGHT OVER THE REF AS HE WAS GETTING UP. Quickly, the mad beatnik caught him in a Bonezone, like he did two episodes prior, and sent him out of the ring. Edelgard remained alone, against both members of The Corporation. But that soon changed too, when Edelgard knocked the spirit out of Spigot with Aymr, and pinned him, the powers of Dicksucker preventing Manager from interfering. And so, stood two. The mad empress, and the EGO collector. The strongest amongst their crowd. And the battle renewed, with more fervor than before.

Unrestrained, both clashed. Manager caught Edelgard in a Lobotomy Double, which comboed into two Freischutz, and followed not too later by an Execution Bullet and a particularly vicious grapple. Edelgard did not let up herself, and assaulted Manager with her own series of moves and a flying elbow. Such a combo would kill anyone... But not the Manager. Kicking out at the last moment, countering her attack and unleashing the Core Suppression. 1. 2. 3. And in the end, Edelgard could not stand up to Manager, even with the Dicksucker at her beck and call. TCR won. Suppression successful.

AIN'T NOTHING GONNA BREAK MY STRIDE

AIN'T NOBODY GONNA SLOW ME DOWN

OH NO

I'VE GOT TO

TO KEEP ON

JERKIN

Extra Episode[edit | edit source]

Ordeal: The Midnight of Mexico[edit | edit source]

El Numero Uno

"To kill those of your own blood for power. That is the meaning of being the brother of a dimwit."

The fated battle had finally come. El Hermano, the strongest being in the universe challenged the Manager to a fight, for he had garnered his interest by defeating Edelgard, the Magical World and winning in a Handicap Match. 2 out of 3 falls. Extreme rules. Nothing more.

From the start, the two fighters gave it their absolute all. Quickly, their brawl went outside the ring, where the Manager picked up a Riot Stick from under the ring and successfully smacked El Hermano with it a few times.. El Hermano quickly retaliated with El Grande Super Combo and El Grande Kamehameha. Yet, Manager was able to respond with a Paradise Lost and a Wellcheers Corkscrew. After a series of kicks from him, El Hermano countered with another El Grande Super Combo. But that move left him... weakened. Retreating to the ring and taunting to try and regain his strength, he didn't notice the Manager running up into the ring, bodying him and pinning him. Score was 1-0, in favor of Manager.

And the Manager was not stopping there. After performing move after move, however, he staggered, he himself weakened. That let Jiren retreat back out of the ring momentarily and daze his opponent, finishing off that combo with an El Grande Kamehameha. But that was not enough to pin the Manager, who had retaliated with a Core Suppression. Victory was almost in his hands... but El Hermano was able to kick out at the last possible moment. Funnily enough, at this moment, the music changed to Golden Wind. And the Manager saw an opportunity, a breaking point in his opponent's defence. A vicious armbreaker was enough to take him down again. 1... 2... 3... And the Manager had done it. He was able to defeat the strongest being in the universe. Well... the second strongest, now. For the Manager himself had attained... el forma Completado.


El Numero Uno

"Esto es el fin. El Hermano de Jiren."

K̵̶͝e̴̡͠҉t͏̕h́̀̕̕͜è̡̢͏r̡̀̀͟ ͟͝S̸̷u̵͞p̨̕p̷͘r҉͜͠͏҉e̛͡͠s͘ş̀͠͝i̕͝o̵̸n͏̸̡:͏̶́ ̧̨̛͟T̨̛͜͝C̵̛R̸̡[edit | edit source]

Sacrificing the accumulated power to the teleporter to TFR caused the Manager to... be temporarily lost. Lost, in his own mind. Fighting his own inner demons.

̢̢͟͝͡N̴̷͘Į̴̀̕͡G͝H̵̡̧͡͝T̸͡M̡̢͜͏͜A̸҉̵̧̕R̢͘É̴̢͜͝[edit | edit source]

"̶B̢͡e̸͜ţ̵ŗ̧͜a̧̕͜͠y̵͜͢͝͏a̕͘ļ̛"

The first fight was something out of his worst nightmares. His best friend, Spigot, allied with Edelgard. Twice had the fight begun, and rewound, as if to torture the Manager some more. In the end, even the power he had gained from El Hermano couldn't overcome this particular horror. He was pinned, by Spigot, who did all the work in the fight.

̀҉̶͏F̛̛̕͟҉R̸̢̧̀́I̛̛͢É͏̨͢N̸͡D̀͝͏͝͝[edit | edit source]

͏̵҉"R̸̵e͏́͜v̵̶̴̀́e҉̸̧ǹ̴̡̛͜g͏̛̛ę͘͠"

The second fight was against his tag team partner, his friend. Spigot. Both fought fiercly, with Spigot assaulting the Manager with an impressive barrage of attacks. But, an Execution Bullet and a Paradise Lost took him down. So had the demon been beaten, in mere minutes.

P̸̀O̶̢҉͢W̢͡͝È̵̡R̶̡͢[edit | edit source]

"C̷̢̀͘h̢́͠͞a͘҉l̡͘ļ̷̸͘e͘͟҉͡ń̸̶̴̀g̛͘҉͟ȩ͘͢"

The third fight pit him against the strongest in TFR roster. HUNK. In a state that could be considered his prime. Swiftly, both fighters traded blows, before Manager caught HUNK into the Execution Bullet and Paradise Lost combo. The same one that took out Spigot. But... not this time. HUNK kicked out at the last second, clearing any misconceptions about his strength. And he cleared them up even further, when he knocked the Manager down in a flurry of combos and a Neckbreaker. The pin that followed after was not successful. Still, the soldier wouldn't let up, staggering the Manager and performing the Extraction Kicks upon him. But even those wouldn't keep him down. Oh, they certainly didn't, as the Manager countered HUNK's attacks with a Wellcheers Corkscrew and a Core Suppression, which busted HUNK open, from inside of his helmet. A feat not many could share. Another trade of blows followed, which led outside of the ring, where HUNK performed an Extraction Kick on the Manager, twice. Though that would be tantamount to nothing, as the Manager caught HUNK in a Lobotomy Double and pinned him for a two-count. Another trade of blows, a counter from Manager, and a Paradise Lost. And with a three-count, HUNK was defeated. But... the real challenge was ahead.

S̶̵͟͡ ̛҉̴E̕͟ ҉̴̨̛L̴͡͏̨͠ ̧͘͠F̶[edit | edit source]

"R̀͜ę̸̀̀ḑ̴̕͟e͞҉͜͏m̴̕͞p̴̡t̴͘ì̵o̷̷n̕҉̢"

The fourth fight brought before Manager... the Manager. This one donned the armor of Big Dog. This Manager was the one that failed when he should not have. He was unable to save TCR. Thus, he served as the greatest fear, and greatest sin of Manager. And the one who won, would be the one to take the place of the Manager in the reality. And so, the two clashed. In a 2̶҉̢/̶͜͝3̛͟͡͡ ͜͡͏̨͢F̀͏̴a̵̶͜͡l̷̕͞ļ҉́͢͝ ̸̧́͞M͏̷͢a҉̡͜t͘͞͡c̸̸̛͝͡h̨́̕͏

Both Good and Bad End Managers fought hard. But the first one to break the count was the Big Dog Manager, pinning the Perfect Manager after a successful Paradise Lost. Soon, however, the Big Dog's arm has begun to... deteriorate, for the lakc of better word. Spasming in and out of the view. Perhaps it was but a foreshadowing of the things to come. ̨͢͢͜ ̢̛͘Á̷̕͘͞ ̵́͡ ̷̀

The Perfect Manager did not let up, and pinned his alternate self after a Core Suppression and a Paradise lost, bringing the score to 1/1. Taking the fight to the ring, Perfect assaulted Big Dog with a Paradise Lost, Core Suppression and a Wellcheers Corkscrew. Big Dog recovered quickly from that, and sent the Perfect Manager into a pole, busting him open. Drawing blood. M̷̧ą̷̷͡͝l̛͘k̸̛ư̵t̷̢ḩ͞

Perfect quickly returned the gesture with a Core Suppression, drawing Big Dog's blood too. Performing a Paradise Lost, and a body drop from the top rope, Perfect Manager earned his second pin... But the match kept on going. Y̴̨͏͜͜e̸̢̛͜͞ś̵̵̕͝o͏̛͏d̢̢͢͝҉

Confused, but undeterred, the Perfect Manager knocked his Bad Future self with yet another Core Suppression, and scored another pin. The match... kept on going. H̵̶̨̡͢o̢͞͝d̢͜

The two traded blows. Perhaps with even more ferocity. After enduring a particularly vicious suplex from Big Dog, Perfect threw the other Manager down with a Paradise Lost, and earned another pin. Ǹ̵̛̀͡ę́́ţ̸̀͠z̧̛̀̕͢a̢͟͡c͞͡h̀

Enduring a Lobotomy Double from his other self, Perfect countered with a Powerbomb. Fifth pin. And the match did not stop. It seemed to... accelerate. T̷̨́̕͜i̷̷͏p̡̕҉h̸̸͜ȩ̶r̵̨̕͠e̢͜͏ţ̶̴̶h̸

And so, it did. Tossing around the Big Dog Manager like nobody's business, the Perfect Manager did yet ANOTHER Paradise Lost, scoring the sixth pin for himself. G͝e̛͢b̴̶̢̕͢ù͜͞͝r̷a͘͝

Big Dog's movements seemed to become... Desparate. Several times he had pinned, and every time his other self kicked out at a two-count. Who had quickly retaliated with ANOTHER FUCKING Paradise Lost. Scoring the seventh pin. C҉̢҉h̀͢͠e͡͡͏ś̷͠͠͞ȩ͠͠d̸͘͜͝҉

Suddenly, with a surge of power, the Manager of the Bad Future pinned his better self with a Core Suppression, earning a second point for himself. ̶͡ ̷̶ ̵͏̴̨B̡͝ ̶̸̵͜͞ ̶́͘̕͢ ̸̴͞

After an impressive assault, Perfect kicked out of the 2-count pin of the Big Dog, and scored a pin himself with his own Core Suppression. B̶̡͠͝͏i̡n̷̶̛͝a̸̸̛͟͢ḩ̷̴͜

But he did not stop there. Beating up the Big Dog Manager with the Riot Stick he took out on the ring earlier, the Perfect one scored the ninth pin. H̶͟҉̵͟o̷͢͝k̴̶͞͡m̸̸̷á͜

But who would do it? Who would take the last?.. After a fight outside the ring, Big Dog Manager secured his third pin. ̀͡ ́̕͟͠͠ ̵ ͟͟Ć̵͞͞ ͢ ̴͝҉ ̢̧͠͏̢ ͢͏ ̸̸̧҉̀

At this point, the time stopped. Hokma intervened, ending this match and freeing the Manager from the prison created by his own mind. Pin 10. K̵̢ ͘҉̀E͏̨̛ ̶̡́͘͢T͞͞ ̛͘H̶́͟͠ ̷̵̕͜͞È͏̴̕͜ ́͝R͡

And so, Manager returned to the present. Ready to help TFR. Ready for an invasion. While another threat, entirely too familiar to him was approaching...

The Cartel Rumble Season 2[edit | edit source]

Episode 9[edit | edit source]

The Blessing of Saint Gray Fox[edit | edit source]

"AKASAKA... LIVE."
After managing to escape the full might of The Bad Tags through an interruption caused by The Black Beast, Akasaka found himself assisted by The Gamer Wizard and Luka as he was chased down by Ugly Bastard, Rapeman and Dou Haguro.

Clearly something was not right, the mere presence of Joker within TCR appears to bring about the presence of Phantom Bulbasaurs as The Bad Tags found themselves gaining an advantage, once again the side facing off against The Bad Tags would find themselves being tripped by phantom forces that resulted in them falling one-by-one.

Until it was only Akasaka left against all three of The Bad Tags.

All hope was lost, nobody has ever won a 1v3 elimination as the one against many, and Akasaka was thought to be a jobber.

And then a image of Saint Gray Fox appeared and a theme of a famous jobber, Rance started playing, and Akasaka pinned Ugly Bastard with an AP Bullet.

Despite this pin, nobody still truly believed as the themes of more jobbers started blasting through the arena, with Rance's theme being followed by the theme of Gene.

Akasaka took hit after hit and continued to fight as the crowd wanted to believe that he could do it, but The Bad Tags knew to break pins.

Then Akasaka hit an AP Bullet on Dou as the theme of Saint Gay Job played, and pinned him while Rapeman was exhausted, and so it came down to one last opponent: Rapeman.

Rapeman took the offensive immediately and got Akasaka on the ropes, the crowd chanted "AKASAKA... LIVE." as Rapeman prepared to end it with a Boomshakalaka.

Akasaka countered the Boomshakalaka, and with that, he finally pinned Rapeman and ended rape forever to the theme of one of the grandest jobbers of all: Richtofen.

Through the power of job, something greater had been overcome, the first case of a 1v3 elimination being won by the sole survivor had happened as the name of the Saint of Jobbing rang throughout the ring.

"Akasaka... Live."