TCR/S3E5

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OPkuma's First Task[edit | edit source]

El Loco
Anyone have any idea how the fuck we’re gonna get out of this one? What about you James?
James
I have nothing, all we can do is survive right now.
Naegi
There has to be a way, I know it.
Guts
If there is, it’s not going to show itself right now. Especially if this thing is watching our every move.
Kunt
So yer sayin we gotta play ball?
Guts
Yes.
George
I never thought Battler would do one of these death games, let alone I’d get dragged into one!
Naegi
Whatever happens, we cannot start killing each other. We need to stick together!
El Loco
If he thinks we are going to kill each other, then he is a fuckin moron.

Even if that asswipe Gadget is here, I won’t give this fat fuck the pleasure of spilling blood in his name.

No offense, George.
George
You didn’t have to say that.
Inspector Gadget
Oh go fuck yourself!
???
Do you know Oyashiro-sama?
El Loco
Fuck, he is here! Act natural!
James
He probably already knows what we are going to try-
El Loco
Just do it!
OPkuma
I kill you, you kill me-

Oh! You guys! Good news! The votes finally have been counted!

Took fucking long enough… Felt like a goddamn month.

The choices have been locked in!

Fat man, emo guy and the atom, please stand up and make your presence known!

In fact, fetch a stool for the midget!

I am not bending over to look at your tiny little ant face!
Midge
Oh sod off you poof! Go back to Toys R Us!
OPkuma
Ooooh I would’ve been so insulted if that came from someone over 3 feet!
Midge
Grghh!
George
Look, do I really have to take part in this?
OPkuma
Yes, now get off your fat ass and listen to what I have to say!
Guts
Whining won't get you anywhere, George. Just get on with whatever this test is.
OPkuma
At least someone is willing to go through with the test!
Guts
No, I have no choice and I'd rather you get it over with.
Opkuma
Aw… someone has the grumps!

Now you see, I had some supplies of mine prepared beforehand, the problem being is uh...

They're locked in a janitor's closet and I can't get in there, for obvious reasons.

It's no fun to kill you when you're so naive, so that’s your task for this session!

A simple task for a simple group!

Go and get my supplies!
George
…Uh… Which closet would that be-
OPkuma
Which closet? What? How many janitor closets do you have?!
Guts
A lot?
OPKuma
Fucking- It’s the one near here! Now stop standing around like a bunch of gibbering retards and go fetch them!
George
Fine! No need to yell at us!
*The group leaves*
OPKuma
The rest of you, you are going to go through totally friendly “sparring” training!
*Hallway*
George
So… How are we going to get there with all this fog around? I can’t see a thing!
Midge
FUCKING OW!
George
Wha-
Midge
YOU JUST STOOD ON ME, YOU FAT ARSEHOLE!
George
Sorry, I didn’t see you there.
Guts
Why did he pair me up with you two…

Look, if we are going to get out of this, we have to do as we are told until we can find a way out.

That or hope someone notices we have gone missing and sends in help.

So let’s get moving already.
Midge
Hey, wait up! You bloody gorilla!
Gut
No.
*another hallway*
George
Hey, little guy. What do you see?
Midge
Bugger all. Happy now?
Guts
If anything shows up, let me deal with it.
George
Hey! I can fight!
Guts
A buffet maybe, not whatever this thing has planned for us.
George
I’ll have you know I have practiced martial arts!
Midge
Will you two stop talking bollocks and get on with this shite!
???
THINK FAST!
George
Wha-
*clattering*
Midge
FUCKING CHRIST! THAT NEARLY HIT ME! The bloody hell was that!?
Guts
It’s only a chair...


MD01: THIS CHAIR IS AN EYESORE[edit | edit source]

CHOICE PICKED: 2

RESULT: FAIL

Despair Match 1[edit | edit source]

  1. El Loco Bandito (Pinfall; Travelling Knight), Naegi Makoto (Pinfall; Travelling Knight)
  2. The Strongest Team
  3. Kunt (Pinfall; Travelling Knight), Harold Lott (Pinfall; Travelling Knight)
  • Tornado-Tag
  • Elimination

Winner The Strongest Team

Idol Business[edit | edit source]

Kuze
What the hell were you thinking sending me here?
NTRman
Huh? What’s wrong?
Kuze
You didn't tell me there are cops in the place.
NTRman
Cops? ...Oh wait, you mean that fucking investigator?

That's what got you all pissed off, Kuze?

Look, he won't do a damn thing to you. That guy is usually too busy trying to save cats from trees to be a bother.

As long as you don't bring up his… uh… wife. We learnt that the hard way.
Kuze
Why didn’t you tell me this? You said this place would be a great place to start and you already have me sitting in the same room as the cops! And who the hell are these weirdos wearing these crappy outfits? They all look like they come from some shitty TV show.
NTRman
Which one? The wrestlers or L Corp?
Kuze
L Corp?
Rapeman
(You dumb motherfucker! You already forgot his ass was in prison all that time!?)
NTRman
(Oh right, right, prison.) Uhh… What do they look like?
Kuze
One of them had eyes sticking out of their cheek? And another one had a... matchstick in their mouth?
NTRman
Yea, that sounds like L Corp’s boys. Don't worry about them. They don't really give a shit about what you do as long as you don't fuck with their assets or go too far with the wrestlers.
Kuze
...What kind of freak show have you gotten me into? I just wanted to settle the score with Kiryu.
NTRman
Trust me Kuze. The alternative was much worse. You are better off here.
Kuze
Worse how? Are you hiding something from me? Why did you drag me out here instead of that other place?
*knock knock*
NTRman
Shit. I've got someone at the door Kuze, I'll talk to you later.
Kuze
I am not letting this go until you tell me-
*hangs up*
NTRman
What an ungrateful asshole, who the hell is at the door?
Rapeman
Fuck if I know, man. One of the girls?
NTRman
Nobody booked for an appointment at this time.
Rapeman
You think it’s uh... the five-o?
NTRman
If it is then they have nothing on us, so they are wasting their time.
*Knock knock*
*Intercom press*
NTRMan
It’s open, see yourself in.
*Door opens*
Rapeman
Who is this dude?
???
Rejoice, gentlemen.
NTRman
You look familiar. You were one of Angela’s boys aren't you?
Agent Kiriei
Yes. I am here on behalf of L Corp. And I probably don’t need to tell you that it is now back under the original management.
Rapeman
Fuck you want? You come to shut us down? We ain't done shit to Manager. Other than the uh… obvious but that shit be water under da bridge, right?
Agent Kiriei
What you do here is none of L Corp’s concern.

Unless, of course, you begin to actively interfere with their interests.

Are you aware that Angela has taken an interest in what they refer to as "the wrestling business"?
NTRman
Is that so? What does that have to do with us? You need a manager for her?
Agent Kirei
Rumors go that you and your ilk are now in the business of talent hunting. Looking at the… decor of the office, I can say they’re true.
NTRman
I have a fondness for interior decorating... And exterior decorating on occasion. It’s amazing what you can do with only a tin of white paint.
Rapeman
Hahaha!
Agent Kirei
… (Still driven by lust, aren’t they…)
NTRman
But you are correct, although we also help with marketing. What about it?
Agent Kirei
L Corp would like to hire your services to find us enough females, for an all-women roster.
Rapeman
Dunno if you read the sign on the way in, we only deal with idols.
NTRman
Hold on my old friend, I think we can work something out here… I am sure idols can take a few bumps here and there. How much is your boss willing to offer? Finding that many girls to fill out an entire roster won't be an easy task.
Agent Kiriei
You get a cut for every female wrestler found and accepts the deal.

Of course you can negotiate the size of the cut later down the line.

But if you do a good enough job, we could put in a good word with Manager, and let you go back in the ring.
Rapeman
...Sheit nigga that’s all you had to say.
NTRman
We’ll be in touch.
Agent Kiriei
Then rejoice, children of man. Your wishes will certainly come true.

Despair Match 2[edit | edit source]

  1. Quint (2)
  2. Dyatlov (1)
  • 2/3 Falls
  • Extreme Rules

Winner Quint

Investigation into the House[edit | edit source]

Haru
So why are we here? We know that those three guys are missing, asking the others if they have seen them won’t change that.
Akasaka
I have a hunch, Manager mentioning that El Loco and that new blood he is with also went missing, which we have confirmed.

I want to be sure that this is some ordinary missing persons case.

After everything that has happened with BANS, they need to be found straight away.

Besides, George hasn’t shown up at all recently either alongside a few others.
Haru
When the hell are you gonna tell me about that incident? It’s getting annoying that nobody is ever willing to tell me what happened.
Akasaka
Another time, Haru. Let’s focus on the case at hand right now.
  • knock knock*

  • knock knock*
Haru
Hello?

Hey, what if this guy also got the same envelope?
Akasaka
Then we can confirm that this is no coincidence.
  • knock knock*

Nobody’s in it seems.

  • knock knock*
Haru
Uh... guy’s known to like his food, right?

Let me try this.

  • Knock knock*

Hey! Your pizza is here!

...
Akasaka
Creative… But no response.
Haru
You want me to kick it open?
Akasaka
Check the windows, no need to break in.
Haru
Fine, but we could save ourselves the work.
*haru leaves*
Akasaka
First James, El Loco and that kid he was teaching… ...Something is not adding up here, if BANS really did have his sights set on us... What made him do so?
*sound of glass tapping*
Akasaka
Especially with L Corp's presence here.
*Sound of a window breaking*
Akasaka
That should have been enough of a deterrence considering they keep things like BANS in containment...
*door opens*
Akasaka
Oh, good morning Geor- Haru? How did you get in?
Haru
I smashed a window open.
Akasaka
I’ll pretend you said you found an open window.
*inside the room*
Akasaka
Looks spotless, like nobody has touched this place at all.
Haru
Just like those three guys we were checking up on. I think this guy has gone missing too.
Akasaka
This is starting to get concerning.
Haru
Hey boss, when did you say these guys stopped showing up?
Akasaka
About two weeks ago now is my approximate guess.

I think it wasn’t long before you actually got here, actually.

Last time I remember, James and El Loco were at the stadium around that time.
Haru
Wait, that was when some fog rolled in right?

That fog was fucking weird, it was almost unnaturally dense. Felt similar to the same kind of crap that everyone had to deal with in Shiokawa. At least until those guys at L Corp cleared it out.

Maybe that's why they went missing. They got lost in the fog and taken by something?
Akasaka
Supernatural, huh? Normally I would scoff at such a thing but after all of the time spent here, I might as well as entertain it. Let's have a look around, see if George also received the same envelope we found with the others.
*transition*
Akasaka
Found anything?
Haru
Other than spoiled food, I haven't found shit. What about you, boss? You have a better eye for this detective stuff.
Akasaka
An empty black and white envelope, no letter inside.
Haru
Just like with that James and El Loco guy. Say, maybe the kid also got one?
Akasaka
If he didn't get one, El Loco must have taken him with him regardless. But this is the third time in a row.

And they all have these letters, it's a good thing they kept them by the way.

Someone must have lured them into a trap, that is the only conclusion I can make.
Haru
Or something lured them into a trap…

What is making no sense is why can’t we find the paper itself? Did someone burn them?

In which case why did they leave the envelope itself here?
Akasaka
Something we’ll have to solve later, we need to discuss this with Manager. He needs to hear this.

Despair Match 3[edit | edit source]

  1. James Sunderland
  2. Soldier (TF2) (Pinfall; The Gamer Wizard)
  3. Jon Arbuckle
  4. The Gamer Wizard
  • Hell in a Cell

Winner The Gamer Wizard

Encounter! Psycho[edit | edit source]

Guts
I think we are getting near now.
George
Have we got any idea on how we are going to open the door when we get there?
Guts
...Maybe
George
We could try lockpicking- Oh… I think I know what you mean.
Midge
What are you two lookin’ at?

What? Take a picture if you’re that bloody enamoured with me!
George
You think he can fit?
Guts
We’ll find out when we get there.
???
TENDERIZE THE WOUND, SALT THE FLESH! MORE MEAT FOR THE BULL TRAIN!
*PUNCH PUNCH*
George
What’s that?
Midge
Sounds like a bloody nutter!
Guts
Will you two shut up, are you just begging to get killed?
OPkuma
Oh shit! I forgot to tell you about this!

Since you are now in my domain, you might… stumble into some of the locals.

Now don’t worry, they don’t bite! Usually…

They just enjoy dismembering and scaring the living shit out of people!

As long as you ignore them and leave as soon as possible, they won’t try anything-
???
MEAT!? MEAT! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN CHOP YOUR LITTLE TOES OFF! I WILL EAT YOUR MEAT BICYCLE!
Midge
Wait a minute, isn’t that-
Psycho
*Holding a golf club* MORE BULLS FOR THE CUCKOO, YOU WILL TAKE THEIR WII U! LAY DOWN AND BLEED LIKE KETCHUP!
George
That’s Pitchford’s favourite talent, he’s still here?
Guts
I thought you were?
George
That was before he found out I actually wasn’t Battler.
OPkuma
Oh, so that’s where he scurried off to, this guy was supposed to be part of your game but he was just a lost cause.

So I just killed him instead.

And that is uh… the test dummy that I had arranged he just killed.
George
Say, he looked familiar too. Joel?
OPkuma
Oh, you knew that chump too? Found him wandering these halls trying to find a way back into the world of the living!

Said some weirdo beat him to death with a chair.

Oh well, I guess you are fighting this gibbering monkey instead.

Lucky you!


CHOSEN FIGHTER: Guts

The Last of Badass Part 2[edit | edit source]

  1. Psycho
  2. Guts
  • Singles

Winner Psycho

Eggman's Promo[edit | edit source]

Day of the Magnet[edit | edit source]

Tidus
Wakka! What were you thinking?!
Wakka
What are ya talkin’ about?
Tidus
Dagoth told me everything! Did you seriously hide out in that woman’s office with a magnet!?
Wakka
Ya, what about it?
Tidus
Are you crazy!? You’re gonna get us thrown out or worse!

Did you hear about what Manager did to Eri?

Like don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care any less about Eri. But he almost killed her for what she tried to do!
Wakka
I’m trying to save us all from that machina!

We can’t just rely on Bateman to be the one to stop that machina!

The machina must be stopped before she can set her schemes in motion!

She is playing Manager for a fool and I will not let it continue!

I am about ready to kick in that door and stick the magnet on her head right there!
Tidus
This is plain suicidal Wakka! You need to stop! Do you really want to get Manager mad at us!?
Wakka
Tidus, my brudda... Have you noticed that after she started showing her synthetic face around here regularly, people stopped turning up?
Tidus
What does that have to do with anything?
Wakka
It’s plain to see that nobody can stand her other than the freaky gal who she latches on to!
Tidus
But weren’t some of the people who stopped showing up were on the side of forgiving-
Wakka
Nobody will weep for that machina, Manager will come to understand!
Tidus
You are making a big mistake here!
Wakka
Trust me, Tidus. It'll all work out! You’ll see soon enough.

Despair Match 4[edit | edit source]

  1. The Whizzard (2)
  2. Inspector Gadget (0)
  • 2/3 Falls

Winner The Whizzard

NTRman's First Recruit[edit | edit source]

NTRman
Well I have the perfect candidate for our first wrestler to send over!
Rapeman
Who it be?
*Ugly Bastard hands over a sheet of paper*
Rapeman
… Really? You seriously considering sending that retard over there?
NTRman
Yes, that “retard” will never ask any questions and it gets her out of our goddamn hair.
Rapeman
Aight man, I have no idea if she is gonna be any better over there.

She went down like a sack of shit when I saw one of the other idols slap her.

And she be gettin more than a bitchslap over there.
NTRman
Well y’see she brought that on herself. She knew that the other girl hates when people ask her about her time in that virtual reality… But I’m sure she can follow basic directions...
Rapeman
Hell no! She is hopeless!

I asked that bitch “Hey bitch, stop sucking the doorknob and gimme a blowjob”. She took it as “turn on the fan and face it to me”.

Then she proceeded to gawk at me like some puppy with down syndrome.

That shit killed my erection so hard, that I just told her to leave after that.
NTRman
Yeah... that sounds just like her.
Rapeman
I mean, I don’t mind if they a bit stupid... Considering you gotta be stupid to get your character developed by us in the first place, but...

...Goddamn! She stupid as hell!

I bet if we even raped her ass, she probably too retarded to even realize it, so what would even be the fun in that?
NTRman
Sometimes that is the price you pay for having no quality control.
Rapeman
Quality control, when the hell did we have any concern for that?

After all, only a retard or someone desperate would accept the rates you give in they contracts.

I am surprised you even get anyone here in the first place!
NTRman
Hey! I actually deliver the fairest rates in the idol biz.

I only take 90 percent unlike those corrupt assholes in “Skeng Records”!

Last time I heard they now demand a 110% cut if you work for them!

110%! Literally paying them to fuck you!

I might enjoy taking girls from their husbands and boyfriends but I still have standards!

We are men who take our prizes by force, not some cruel grifters looking to con it from them!
Rapeman
...Is the business we got into really that fucked up that we the good guys in this shit?
NTRman
Yes we are, the irony isn't lost on me. Now are you gonna let them know she is on her way?
Rapeman
Sure, sure. I’ll tell Manny G the retard is on the way. Where da fuck dat nugget lookin ass motherfucker left the phone number?
NTRman
I put it in the phonebook.

Oh yea, don’t forget to leave out the “retard” bit when you call them though.

First impressions count after all!

No More Mugging[edit | edit source]

  1. 90
  2. Travis Touchdown
  • Backstage Brawl

Winner Travis Touchdown

Idol's Mirage[edit | edit source]

Ayin
It’s been about 4 weeks now since we have hit any land... All the charts say we should have at least visited every other nation once around this time.

And it’s getting the locals rowdy that their “shopping trips” haven’t been happening lately.

Great, let me know if anything comes up.
*Hangs up*
Ayin
Next up… Rip the middle management a new one for starting matches while the ring paint was still wet...

...Think I’ll send Netzatch in for that one, I am sure they will get the message. After all, it was him and Tiphereth who made that design.

Then check on the reports of the missing abnormalities… I think Yesod is on that already.

It has to be him...

Arrange the matches… Hopefully the middle management can’t screw this one up.

So I’ll make sure Netzatch reminds them.

And then arrange the meeting for all potential detectives. I’ll sort that one myself.

The more things change, the more they stay the same…
*Phone rings*
Ayin
Case in point.
*picks phone up*
Ayin
Hello?
Rapeman
Ey yo Manny G, we got some retard- I mean talent coming your way.
Ayin
Oh? So when is she arriving?
Rapeman

In about 10 minutes, I’d keep an eye out for the massive crowd of fanboys following some doe eyed broad.

Then you’ll know she has arrived.

So you better have some security in place.
Ayin
Got it, what’s her name?
Rapeman
You’ll be hearing all the goddamn time the moment she gets there. So you got our paper?
*Elsewhere*
Roland
Looks like we’re beginning to get a solid cast for you to face now, Angela.

The first of many will be showing herself here very soon.

Please remember Angela, we’re here for you.

If whatever you saw comes true, we’ll help you take care of it.

I don’t want any more despair, we’ve worked too hard for it all to be thrown away just like that.
Angela
Thank you, Roland, it’s nice to hear that.
???
Now now everyone, please have patience! You’ll all be able to get my autograph!
Roland
The hell? What’s a crowd doing here?
-change to backstage parking lot-
Tsubasa
Please everyone, I’m asking you to be patient!
Crowd
We love your song!
Angela
She seems popular…
Roland
Must be one of those idols that I hear about all the time. I don’t really see why they are considered good.
Crowd
Sing the song again!
Tsubasa
Haha! How eager you all are!

Okay then, just for you all!

Kowashitai~

Daijisou ni kakaeta watashi o zenbu
Angela
…What the hell is this? This is what people call music around here?
Roland
…I think my ears are bleeding...
*After the concert*
Angela
Roland
...Yeesh, that was horrible to listen to.
Angela
It’s just noise, there is nothing to any of this at all. She doesn’t even have a band playing alongside her.
Tsubasa
Oh! Aren’t you that girl I am supposed to have a performance with?!
Angela
Performance?
Tsubasa
You know, at the ring!
Angela
You mean a match?
Roland
I think that’s what she means. And yes, you were supposed to do this match an hour ago.
Tsubasa
Oh no! I got so caught up in the concert I forgot all about it! Sorry about that! Let me go and get my stuff and I will see you in the ring!
*Tsubasa leaves*
*sounds of tripping and things falling*
Tsubasa
Ow! Ow ow ow ow!

Ow! Ouch ow sorry!

Excuse me! Pardon me! I'm so sorry!
Angela
Roland
Uh… No way am I cleaning that up.
Angela
How do you forget a match? Did they even tell her what time it was?
Roland
...No idea, but she puts Malkuth to shame with how forgetful she is.
Angela
I think that’s more insulting to Malkuth than anything. How did she manage to even get signed up for this in the first place?


Angelaloseslol[edit | edit source]

  1. Angela (1)
  2. Oribe Tsubasa (2)
  • 2/3 Falls

Winner Travis Touchdown

MD-02: A Hole in The Wall[edit | edit source]

CHOICE: 2


OW-07: A Small World[edit | edit source]


Who?[edit | edit source]

  1. Jean Arwall (Pinfall; Woody)
  2. Sigurd
  3. Woody
  • For King Degenerate
  • 2/3 Falls

Winner Woody

At Norman's Office[edit | edit source]

*black screen*
???
I am always glad to help the police, especially ones who actually give a damn. Here’s a list of all the wrestlers who haven’t shown up in the last few weeks.
Norman
Thanks for your cooperation, sir. I will make sure that these people are found before any harm befalls them.
???
They went missing under my watch so it’s my responsibility to try and help get them back.

But for now, we’ll be updating the patrols of our security and installing new measures. We need to make sure that nobody else goes missing.

Just wish the guys up top would actually keep in touch with us about what they are going to do about this.

Their Agents would be a real godsend right about now.
Norman
If you could convince them to provide more information, then it’s going to be more likely that we’ll find them.
???
I’ll try. From what I hear since I am new to this position... It’s rare to find the big guy alone and I usually only get messages from him through his envoys.
Norman
Once again, thanks for your cooperation. I’ll be in touch if I find anything.
???
I’ll call you if anything else comes up too.
*door closes*
Norman
Looks like there has been an incident after all… Having a chat with the Head of Security about this was a good idea.

Especially after hearing how secretive the top brass are here.

No doubt, he will have already talked about this with said top brass. Who will certainly be in the process of having their own internal team working on an investigation.

But maybe I can also find some clues in the meantime…

It’s time to consider my current options.
-puts on ARI gear-
Norman
First of all, let me get a list of the supposedly missing wrestlers.

So a number of wrestlers all at once go missing…

This seems to fit the modus operandi of The Skeleton Killer, but could it really be him?

The only connection was his former teammates arriving here to deal with an incident involving the “Adrestian Empire”.

However he wasn’t present himself, being in a coma at the time... And the contributions his friends made weren’t of much note…

There’s a chance this could be connected, but I personally don’t see it.

Some of the wrestlers have told me that the recent fog was quite abnormal… It seems that the Captain of the ship decided to take a shortcut through Bermuda.

Just my luck, ending up in the triangle… hopefully the stories about it are really just stories.

Soon after the fog came in… The group of wrestlers vanished…

Normally I’d be skeptical of possible supernatural causes but considering that previous case of mine… I’d say there’s a possibility here too.

If only there was a place where there could be anything that might detail this phenomena…

Actually, there is that Library that landed on the ship a while back…

Though I’ve heard it has now turned into a lab, there are a lot of contradictory statements about it’s status.

But if it is still a library, there could be books still there... And considering who runs it there’s a good chance they have something detailing the paranormal…

...Why did it have to be paranormal stuff? What happened to just ordinary serial killers?
-door kick, enter roland and ayin*
Norman
Jesus! Does nobody around here know how to knock!?
Roland
Wait, this is your office? This is an unfurnished room, how do you get work done in here?
Norman
Well there was a desk here.

But someone broke it.

So I had to replace it with a more durable metal table.
Roland
That King Of Tables Belt has really gotten out of hand now.
Norman
But at least, my glasses give me a virtual environment that acts as an office basically.
Roland
Interesting… But that’s besides the point, we have a problem.
Norman
I can probably guess what it is.
Ayin
So you’ve already noticed the missing wrestlers?
Norman
Yeah, it’s not hard to notice that one. I heard Mamoru Akasaka discuss it with Luis last week. Last thing I heard he has been doing his own private investigation into it.
Ayin
I gave him the okay on that, which is why we are here.

I want to arrange a meeting and discuss this incident further and you are invited.

Are you fine with this?
Norman
As long as you are willing to provide information, I am willing to come to this meeting.
Roland
Yes, we are. And if you know anyone else closeby who knows their stuff, you should call them up. We could do with all the help we can get.
Norman
This is great, where and when will this meeting be?
Ayin
Tomorrow, an Agent will find you when it’s time.
Norman
Will Akasaka be there by any chance?
Roland
Most likely, why?
Norman
He… He may have a grudge with me for a previous match.
Ayin
I’m sure he is willing to settle differences if it means finding the wrestlers. By the way, you have a match to attend to. Even with everything happening the show must go on.

King Of Tables[edit | edit source]

  1. Norman Jayden (1)
  2. Patrick Bateman (1)
  • For King of Tables
  • Ironman (20)
  • Tables

Winner Draw

The Agent's Break[edit | edit source]

Agent Battler
That Sundowner is such a hard ass. I don’t know whether to be more scared of The Disciplinary Department Sefirot or him.
Agent Dimitri
Interesting choice of words.
Agent Battler
What was so interesting about what I said?
Agent Armstrong
The first thing you talk about is his ass.
Agent Battler
You're not gonna let me live that down are you?
Agent Armstrong
Nope.
Agent Dimitri
Not at all.
Agent Battler
Look, I didn’t even expect him to be there! What was he even doing here?
Agent Dimitri
I think you know very well, those  “lessons” in your “hotel room”.  I’m sure he was waiting for that.
???
  Mrgrgr! You send me to deal with that disgusting thing and I will kill you!
Sundowner
It’s only a bee. I could spray the thing with some goddamn wasp killer and it would do the job!
???
You call that a bee?! That thing is disgusting! A freak of nature!
Monsoon
I think you forget that you are working in a place well known for harbouring such things.
Agent Dimitri
Did they seriously use some clerks to cultivate worker bees for everyone to train against?
???
Forget it, find some other stupid idiot to deal with those things! I’ll deal with anything but that!
Sundowner
Even the spider one?
???
No! Screw this training, I’d rather set myself on fire than step a foot in there!
Sundowner
Alright then, guess instead you can join in on fighting that freak that the people up top need a filter for.
???
That’s more like it! It’ll be a piece of cake!
-running noise-
Agent Battler
Yes... it seems we are going to be the ones to clear it up.
Agent Armstrong
Just a simple WAW really. I guess we’ll handle the disposal cleanly this time. As long as you don’t get in my way like a dumbass.
Sundowner
I like her attitude but what a picky lil sonuvabitch.

What kinda freak can handle looking at that bullshit and not handle some goddamn bugs?

Hey! You idiots!
Agent Dimitri
Here we go again...
Sundowner
You know... All these recent events made me realize the fucks you lot are based on are also shown in how you act.

Like that girl, she can handle anything else just fine but suddenly she refuses with anything to do with insects.

...same goes for you, Battler.
Battler
What’s that supposed to mean?
Monsoon
Well, let's say you’ve inherited your progenitors memes.
Sundowner
Never in my days have I ever seen someone act quite like a dandy on that stage before. What’s next, you’re gonna offer that doll a tea party too?
Battler
Like I said, I didn’t expect him to show up!
Sundowner
Relax kid, get used to some hazing, you learn that one in the military. Although unlike the military I doubt they have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy here though.
Armstrong
We have a “Don’t fuck the abnormalities” policy but some of the Agents ignore that. Or so I’ve heard, it sounds like bullshit to me, probably just tall tales made up by depressed clerks.
Sundowner
Right, since you cannot work together as a team at all, you ‘lil bastards are going to fight some bees. So get in there and start breaking heads!
Dimitri
Alright, come on guys. Let’s get it over with.
Armstrong
At least Battler here won’t get a hard on since worker bees are known to be female.
Battler
Zen zen dame da!
*Agents leave*
Sundowner
Jesus… It's still weird giving a clone of our former boss orders. How the hell do they deal with ordering around clones of their own wrestlers?
Monsoon
It seems even though they carry on their memes. Some of it gets rearranged in the process to ensure absolute loyalty to this place though. Could they even be considered the same thing or merely a child of their progenitors?
Sundowner
Hell if I know. Say, you think those scientist boys would be up for a fight? We’re gonna be waiting for those fucking morons to inevitably get themselves killed anyways.
Monsoon
Ah yes, shall we bring Hank along for some fun too?
Sundowner
He’ll do. It’ll spice things up a bit.

Department Rivalry[edit | edit source]

  1. Winds of Destruction, Hank J. Wimbleton
  2. Eggman, Walter Bennet, Luis Sera
  • Tag-Team

Wrestler Elimination Method
Monsoon Eggman Pinfall
Winner Team Monsoon

The Machine Idol[edit | edit source]

Angela
What a strange woman, does she even realize what these matches are about?
Tsubasa
Hi! That was a great performance! What did you think of it?
Angela
I am indifferent, what do you want?
Tsubasa
You are like some researcher,  right?
Angela
You can say that.
Tsubasa
My bosses told me you do science stuff! Do you like research music? If you don’t, I can help with that! I know all about music and entertainment!
Angela
Okay then… We might have a few music related abnormalities you could work with.
Tsubasa
Abnowhatnows?
Angela
... They are…
*Tsubasa has a retarded face*
Angerla
... You do know what the four virtues are, right? Did you just ask me for a job without even knowing what it is about?
Tsubasa
Uh... can you give me a hint? I think I might know what you are talking about.
Angela
Their names are: Fortitude, Prudence, Temperance and Justice. So what do they all mean?
Tsubasa
Temperance? Ain’t that some heavy metal band? Heavy metal is not my sort of thing.

And as for Fortune, I worked at a place called Fortuna and idols do make good money so I can always go shopping!

The other day I bought this cool looking vase!
*Tsubasa presents a bong pipe with a sign saying “Spigotz Bong”* Some chocolate man outside was selling it!
Angela
(This idiot wouldn’t even be fit for a clerk job, let alone The Singing Machine.) That’s enough-
Tsubasa
And I am a pro at dancing, that is what you mean by “Prudance”, right?
Angela
What-
Tsubasa
As for Justice, me and Itsuki did bring justice to that big mean black dragon who was going to destroy the world!

And speaking of dragons, I hope my producers will tell me when Lizzie is doing another concert!

I cannot let her upstage me again!
Angela
Shut up, please!
Tsubasa
So does that mean we are a team?
Angela
No. What the hell made you think that?!

You forgot that you even had a match until Roland reminded you.

Why should I work with someone who doesn’t even keep to their appointments?
Tsubasa
Come on, we’ll make a great team!
Angela
Look, I am not looking for a partner. It will just hold me back from learning anything. Now if you'll excuse me.
*Angela leaves*
Tsubasa
Hey! Wait up! You didn't even tell me your name! My name's Tsubasa!
*Another room*
Angela
They don’t understand… This is something I have to do alone.

I'll show them that I can do this by myself.

I cannot keep relying on others to fight my battles.
*Enter Tsubasa*
Tsubasa
Are you sure that we are not partners?
Angela
Yes, I am sure. Now leave me alone.
Tsubasa
You don’t look sure.
Angela
I am certain in this choice, I have no idea what makes you think I am not.
Tsubasa
But I could be like your cheerleader!
Angela
My hearing is more valuable to me than your support.
Tsubasa
My singing soothes pain, not causes it!

Allow me to demonstrate.

  • ahem*

LA LA LA LA!

LA LA LA LAAAAA!
Angela
*Angela slowly walks away until she is off screen*
Tsubasa
LA LA LA LA LA LAAAA!

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

LA LA LA LA LA LA...

Yakuza Game[edit | edit source]

  1. Mutou Yugi
  2. Kuze Daisaku
  • Singles

Winner Kuze Daisaku

Grand Autism Title Match[edit | edit source]

  1. Papa Nier (2)
  2. Runescape Bot (1)
  • For Grand Autismp
  • 2/3 Falls
  • Extreme Rules

Winner Nier

The Door[edit | edit source]

CHOICE: 1

CHARACTER CHOSEN FOR ACTION: GUTS

A Shoebox?[edit | edit source]

Guts
Right, start searching for this garbage he wants. After all the time we wasted he is probably already pissed at us. You, little guy, search the floor. See if he hid it under a shelf.
Midge
Whatever. I have no idea what we are even supposed to be looking for, what could these supplies be?
George
Considering we are dealing with a supernatural being, probably something occultish?
Guts
Candles, ritual daggers, the sort.
Midge
Bloody religious nutjobs… None of this would have happened if we didn’t let those bloody weirdos take over!
George
But you said they were better than those corrupt simpletons who were originally in charge?
Midge
Yes, until this crazy shite happened!
Guts
They were gonna show up sooner or later the moment that Manager appeared.

The guy is a magnet for insanity but at least it makes things less boring around here.

And it’s not like anyone else would have been a better alternative.
George
I think I found it!
Midge
Wait, that’s my bloody house! He used my bloody house to store his shite?!
George
Your house is a shoebox?
Guts
That’s just sad.
Midge
Hey, you try paying off a mortgage!
George
Well, should we uh… Check what is inside?


Guts
Curiosity will get us killed, you two.
Midge
It’s my bloody house! I’d like to know what shite he put in it!
George
Here goes nothing...

Seriously?
Midge
A fucking mophead?
Guts
Painted blue too.
George
All of that for this? … Hey there is a chocolate bar in here! I’ll take that!
Midge
THAT’S MY FOOD SUPPLY YOU ASSHOLE!
Guts
Close the goddamn thing and let's get back to everyone.



Harold
Oi Kunt, do the funny walk again!
Kunt
Which one?
Harold
The one that funny chap on the telly does!
Kunt
Ah! That one
*Kunt does a funny walk*
Harold
Bloody brilliant!
Dyatlov
How can anyone have any fun in this situation!? This is not some silly joke!
Naegi
You have to admit, it’s pretty funny for the absurdity of it all.
Quint
DID YOU KNOW?
James
Know what?
Quint
THAT GOBLINS HAVE CAUSED 34% OFF ALL MURDERS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS? I THOUGHT THAT WAS INTERESTING!
El Loco
You need some help.
*The gang gets back*
El Loco
Oh you guys are back, had trouble with the door?
Guts
Some trouble. And a lot of other madness.
Naegi
Like?
George
James, you remember that weird mask guy that Pitchford had before he… met his untimely end?
James
Yes?
George
Looks like he was supposed to be with us too, he ended up getting killed instead.
El Loco
I forgot that guy even existed.
Midge
If only he fackin took my place instead, I could get some bloody kip!
The Gamer Wizard
WHO SAID THAT?!
*OPKuma comes back*
OPkuma
Oh! You got the stuff! You were quicker than I expected!
George
Quicker? That walk felt like ages?
OPkuma
Maybe you should lose some weight then, fatty! Hand it over now.
Midge
This is my house you bloody stole! You’re not ‘avin!
OPkuma
You don’t get to dictate terms to your betters, you little gremlin!
Guts
Here’s your goddamn box.
OPkuma
Great! This is really important for helping you all gather dimes! But before I discuss your next task... Tell me, have any of you all felt a little numb?
James
...A little…
OPkuma
Great! That means it's working! That’s the fog doing it’s work to keep you guys walking while you do my tasks!

So all your pain at this point will feel like a little muscle ache!

It’s a cool little party trick I learned!
*Snap*
OPKuma
Now let’s see who is dead!

Annnnnnnd nobody is dead! At least you didn’t fuck this one simple task up!

So that’s great! Imagine if someone died with the training wheels on, wouldn’t that be hilarious?

Well now that’s all settled, time for me to bid farewell for the time being!
El Loco
What the fuck are we supposed to do now, sit here and and jerk off or some shit?
OPKuma
If you want! Although find somewhere private for that, you animal!

I am currently getting the escape van and masks painted for your next task!

Because four of you are going to go on a mission for something very valuable!
Naegi
Are we going to raid some tomb or something? We are not adventurers.
OPkuma
Nope.
Kunt
We goin’ shopliftin’?
OPkuma
Hotter. Let’s just say.. It’s time for you to get your pay day.
*fade to black*
*OP’s office*
OPKuma
So, you may have noticed some things there!

Like the little recommended skill next to the options?

Hope you enjoyed it because now the training wheels are off!

You better start reading now and guess what action correlates to what skill!

NYUK NYUK NYUK!

Hope you’re not anorexic!

(That means you can’t read words.)

So, for the next main episode… Pick four people for the next party!

And be quick because do remember, that clock is always a ticking!

Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

The Devil's Sin[edit | edit source]

PARTY SELECT[edit | edit source]