TCR/S2E4

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"Run, rabbit run

Dig that hole, forget the sun

And when at last the work is done

Don't sit down

It's time to dig another one"





Lore 1[edit | edit source]

Randy Pitchford
"How goes the murder investigation?"
Date Kaname
"We have a possible lead into it."
Randy Pitchford
"Great! Who might it be?"
Akasaka Mamoru
"Manager, one of the Tag Team Champions."
Randy Pitchford
"You're kidding right? There's no way a champ can be involved in this."
Date Kaname
"He was acting strange earlier, and his history involves dealing with dangerous monsters. He might not actually be involved, but he might know what caused this."
Randy Pitchford
"Fine, just try to finish this, murders scare away investors. Oh right, I forgot to say this... There have been complaints about impersonation."
Date Kaname
"Impersonation? Explain."
Randy Pitchford
"Something or someone has been impersonating wrestlers and fighting in their place... I only know this because one approached me and said they were never in the ring!"
Date Kaname
"And is there anything to confirm this?"
Randy Pitchford
"Well, this time the cameras were working! Take a look."
Akasaka Mamoru
"So that's Eggman in Locker Room A..."
Date Kaname
"And Eggman in that 4-man fight last week... But the times match up?"
Randy Pitchford
"This is just one piece of footage confirming this, I've had others approach me too. I asked one of the guys who faced this impersonator in the ring to give a statement."
- Luis enters the room -
Randy Pitchford
"Luis, tell them what happened."
Luis Sera
"He was certainly acting strange, I can confirm that. In the fight all he kept saying over and over was "Manager". I've dealt with host-altering parasites before, but this certainly isn't one I'm aware of. Especially since it turns out the real Eggman is around, this is some new organism, I think."
Randy Pitchford
"Thank you for your input, you may leave."
Date Kaname
"Manager"? That's it, I'm going to question him."
Randy Pitchford
"Sure, just keep it quiet, I don't want news of this going out."
Date Kaname
"Hey, who's this cutie? What might your name be?"
Aiba
"Date, I don't think it's a good idea to hit on your boss' personal assis-"
Angela
"The name is Angela, and before you ask, I'm not interested."
Date Kaname
"My how cold, maybe you can warm up to me eventually! Wait, are you a robot? Not often you see one this advanced! You almost fooled me! But don't worry if you change your mind, I like robot girls too!"
Angela
"..."
Date Kaname
"Okay, cold stare it is then."
Aiba
"Can we continue with the investigation before you end up fired?"
- Date and Akasaka leave the room -
Randy Pitchford
"Why is everything going wrong just as I take over?"


Match 1[edit | edit source]

Location: Milan, Italy

Elimination (Formerly Elim chamber but cancelled due to bug)

Note: 30:31

Hank vs Hugh Neutron vs James Sunderland vs El Loco Bandito vs Nyron vs 90

90 pins Nyron

El Loco Bandito pins Hugh Neutron

Hank pins El Loco Bandito

90 pins Hank

90 pins James

90 wins


Match 2[edit | edit source]

Nier vs Sigurd

Nier wins via pin


Match 3[edit | edit source]

20 Minute Iron Man Match

Sundowner vs Midge


Sundowner slams Midge into a table 1-0

Midge slams Sundowner into a table 1-1

Sundowner throws Midge into a table 2-1

Midge slams Sundowner into a table 2-2

Sundowner slams Midge into a table 3-2

Sundowner slams midge into a table 4-2

Sundowner throws midge into a table 5-2

Midge slams Sundowner into a table 5-3

Sundowner wins


Throughout the match, Midge would avoid multiple table finishers by telekinetically moving the table away during the finisher, it seems the little atom sized abomination has learned to use Midge Magic.


Match 4[edit | edit source]

Tag Team One Fall match

The TF 2 vs The Magical World

The TF 2 wins via Heavy pinning Dog Nigga


Lore 2[edit | edit source]

Randy Pitchford
"Hahaha! Yes!"
Angela
"What brought you into this happy mood?"
Randy Pitchford
"I just got off from a call with an agent. He says he got an Ushiromiya on a contract here!"
Angela
"Ushiromiya... Most well known for their wrestling, Especially the one called Battler..."
Randy Pitchford
"I just got an Ushiromiya! Next, we can surpass TFR!"
Angela
"This could be anyone from that family, you know."
Randy Pitchford
"No no no, from what my agent said, It HAS to be Battler! I'm sure of it!"
Angela
"And how would you know that?"
Randy Pitchford
"My agent told me this Ushiromiya has done wrestling! In fact, he started quite a long time ago! I have no other reason to believe it to be none other than the legendary Battler Ushiromiya! Imagine the rage coming from the TFR producers knowing I just poached their best talent! I'm gonna head out for a celebratory drink!"
Angela
"Looks like Randy left... BongBong, should I tell him?"
BongBong
"That the Battler fellow became that Tohya guy?"
Angela
"I could, but where's the fun in that? I'll see how he reacts once he finds out his agent duped him."

Match 5[edit | edit source]

2/3 falls

George Ushiromiya vs Dagoth Ur

George pins Dagoth

Dagoth pins George

George pins Dagoth

George Ushiromiya wins


Lore 3[edit | edit source]

Randy Pitchford
"Listen here you asshole! You said you would get me an Ushiromiya! What do you MEAN this guy is one? You said this guy would be a long-time wrestler! You were practically TELLING me you got Battler!"
Randy Pitchford
"..."
Randy Pitchford
"Are you kidding me? THIS fat fuck has wrestled before? Fuck off, asshole, don't call me again unless you get me someone like that priest!"
Angela
"Having fun, Randy?"
Randy Pitchford
"Nothing is going right for me! I try to get somewhere, but I just get screwed over!"
Angela
"Now that we have that settled... We should discuss the wrestlers you'll hand over to me."
Randy Pitchford
"Whatever, anything to solve the shit happening right now..."


Match 6[edit | edit source]

Location: Seattle, WA

6 man Elimination

Ugly Bastard vs Psycho vs Akasaka vs Kunt vs Luka vs Gamer Wizard


Psycho pins Kunt

Psycho pins Akasaka

Ugly Bastard pins Psycho

Ugly Bastard pins Gamer Wizard

Luka pins Ugly Bastard


Match 7[edit | edit source]

Date Kaname vs BongBong

Date wins via pin


Match 8[edit | edit source]

Dyatlov vs Dallas vs Ace vs Monsoon


Ace Visconti pins Dallas

Monsoon pins Ace Visconti

Monsoon pins Dyatlov

Monsoon wins

Lore 4[edit | edit source]

Spigot
"OH SHIT! NEW OUTFIT!"
Manager
"This just looks like my old school uniform... Certainly feels stronger than the previous outfit though."
Spigot
"I SUPPOSE NOT EVERY OUTFIT YOU GET IS A 1-TO-1 COPY!"
Manager
"They adapt to the wearer, so that is indeed the case."
Spigot
"ANYWAYS! WE'VE GOT A BIG FIGHT COMING UP! WE'RE HAVING TO DEFEND OUR BELTS! TIME TO PROVE TO EVERYONE ONCE MORE THE POWER OF JERKCITY CORP! WE'LL WIN THIS AND BE BACK IN TIME FOR MY FAVOURITE! A SAUSAGE PARTY! WOO!"
- Spigot leaves -
Manager
"I'm glad to have you as a friend..."


Match 9[edit | edit source]

8 man elimination

Yugi vs HL1 Scientist vs Wakka vs Rapeman vs Sam Hyde vs Quint vs Inspector Gadget vs Majima

Quint pins HL1 Scientist

Rapeman makes Wakka submit

Rapeman pins Inspector Gadget

Majima pins Yugi

Rapeman pins Quint

Majima pins Sam Hyde

Majima pins Rapeman

Majima wins

Match 10[edit | edit source]

For the Gigachad Belt

Jerkcity Corp vs Hip To Be Noided

Jerkcity Corp wins via Manager pinning MC Ride


Lore 5[edit | edit source]

Ugly Bastard
"What a pain in the ass."
Rapeman
"That wasn't crackalackin' at all, you get me? Stupid pale motherfuckers think they can beat us like that! Well two can play at this game! You got that power of yours working?"
Ugly Bastard
"Yeah, I'm trying to think of those close to them, alright. Damnit! That Spigot asshole only likes men!"
Rapeman
"Well now my dangalang is getting soft, what about the other cunt?"
Ugly Bastard
"No dice! His is dead!"
Rapeman
"Well that aint no good, we may be bad tags, but not that kind! Besides, the dead don't have feelings or thoughts, heh."
Ugly Bastard
"Wait hold on, there's someone with a similar presence... Right here in this building!"
Rapeman
"Well why didn't you say earlier? We'll show this bitch who's slick!"
- Meanwhile in Randy's office -
Angela
"So those will be the ones you'll be handing over to me. Good enough, I'll let you know how things go-"
- The door is kicked open, Rapeman and Ugly Bastard enter the room -
Angela
"Hello?"
Rapeman
"Sup bitch! Your boy kicked our ass, so we'll take yours!"
Randy Pitchford
"GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY OFFICE!"
Rapeman
"Sorry slick, she gonna suck this dick! Hey! You're supposed to act scared bitch! You ain't the one in control here!"
Angela
"Is that the case? Step forward, then."
Ugly Bastard
"Hehehe. You won't like th-"
- A sudden slashing sound is heard and blood covers the screen -
- Ugly Bastard collapses -
Ugly Bastard
"ARGH FUCK MY ARM!"
Angela
"Oh my, looks like you have been dis-armed. Next will be a leg."
Rapeman
"YOU GONNA SUCK ON IT!"
- Another slashing sound is heard and more blood covers the screen -
- Rapeman collapses -
Rapeman
"OH SHIT!"
Angela
"My bad, I took the other leg too."
Randy Pitchford
"FOR FUCK SAKE! I HAVE TWO BLEEEDING WRESTLERS! AND THERE'S BLOOD ALL OVER THE CARPET! PLEASE TELL ME YOU CAN FIX THIS!?"
Angela
"My company handles medical tech like I said before. They'll be fine, I just don't have time for bullshit like this."
Randy Pitchford
"Woah! Didn't expect language like that from you!"
Angela
"I just get very annoyed at swarming flies. I will deal with this myself, just keep the cogs turning here."
- Angela leaves with Rapeman and Ugly Bastard in tow -
- The blood clears up and the room returns to normal -
Randy Pitchford
"Holy shit, she didn't even move and their limbs flew off. What the fuck kind of robot is she?"