TCR/S1E5

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A motherfucking 8 minute lore segment AAAAAAAAAAA[edit | edit source]

Dimitri
"Damnit, it's still not strong enough..."
James
"If only i could do more..."
El Loco Bandito
"Fuck, my Dicksucker..."
Hubert
"Nothing can stop Lady Edelgard or her Empire, Dimitri. Now to finish you off and end this little game!"
HUNK
"I don't think so."
Dimitri
"HUNK? Why?"
Hubert
"My, yet another one who wants to die?"
Death Knight
"Don't get cocky Hubert. Even if three of them are injured, we're now outnumbered."
Hubert
"Three injuries, basically a 1v3 regardless. Come on, give up this little game and die."
HUNK
"I don't think you're familiar with me."
Hubert
"Cocky huh? Might i remind you-"
Death Knight
"You. Even with the mask i can see the bloodthirsty face beneath. You and I are similar."
Hubert
"My, a second Death Knight! Wouldn't that be grand! Do you really want to help these fools? Come on, join us instead!"
HUNK
"Sorry, I don't take orders from a kid."
Hubert
"A kid? Who do you think you are?"
HUNK
"Got no intention of fighting tonight."
Hubert
"Oh are you grovelling now? Please, tricks wont wor-"
HUNK
"Catch."
*Sounds of a grenade being dropped*
Huber
"Huh?"
*Sudden flash of white covers the screen as a loud noise is heard*
Hubert
"Gah! My eyes! My ears! What the... They ran... Tch... Surviving for another day... Whatever, we won our bout today. We have already shown that they have no chance of surviving"
Death Knight
"They couldn't have gone far, let me-."
Hubert
"No, no, we'll give them false hope. Let them put up any means of resistance and crush them like bugs."
Death Knight
"Hrm, have it your way, then."
*Cuts to an office*
Edelgard
"Ahahahahaha, It looks like our first bout goes differently when you don't have a teacher guiding you around, Boar! I bet you're wishing he was here and not in that children's party game! So you escaped from my grasp today. But one day I will find you and i will execute you. Looks like the Eagle and the Lion fight once again. But will you succeed without your old training wheels?"
*Cuts to the Producer's office*
Producers
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AH FUCK BAD THINGS HAPPENING! AAAAAAAA TFR HELP ME!"
*Cuts to The Backstage*
Spigot
"WHY ARE THE PRODUCERS RUNNING? GOING TO A SAUSAGE FEST WITHOUT ME? WHAT THE FUCK! HEY I'VE SEEN YOU BEF-"
HUNK
"Hey you! Get outta here quickly!"
Spigot
"OKAY MAN BUT YOU BETTER NOT BE HIDING DICKS FROM ME OR SOMETHING!"
*Cuts to an unknown gym*
Dimitri
"Damn it all! How dare she send her cronies! That woman is nothing more than a coward!"
HUNK
"Might i remind you we just ran away from them."
El Loco Bandito
"You're right, but what do we do now?"
HUNK
"Well evidently you guy aren't strong enough to face them."
El Loco Bandito
"Looks like it, perhaps we train for the day we face them again?"
HUNK
"A good plan, we can use this gym as a hideout"
James
"Hey, isn't this BCW stuff?"
HUNK
"Didn't you hear? BCW went defunct long ago. There's empty rings like this everywhere."
Patrick Bateman
"Sounds good, we can hang out here. With the people we got, we can spar between ourselves to prepare."
Dimitri
"..."
James
"Dimitri? You're getting pretty quiet..."
Dimitri
"..."
Dimitri
"THAT WOMAN! THAT ANIMAL! THAT MONSTER! I WILL MAKE YOU ATONE FOR YOUR SINS! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR IT IN BLOOD!"
Spigot
"ARE WE YELLING? HEY DID I EVER TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THE TIME I SAT ON A BAG OF EGG ROLLS?"
HUNK
"I think we should get to work"
Spigot
"WHAT? DUCK DUCK GOOSE? HELL YEAH! I'LL START! DUCK! DUCK! DUCK! DUCK! DUCK... GOOSE!"
El Loco Bandito
"AH YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER GET BACK HERE!"
Spigot
"CAN'T ABORT WHAT YOU CAN'T CATCH!!!"
HUNK
(Even after barely getting away, they're still joking around. Well, its certainly something different) "You guys organise yourselves a sparring schedule. In the mean time I'll head back and get info"
El Loco Bandito
"Hey those fuckers beat the 3 of us without much hassle! You'll get killed out there!"
HUNK
"This is war, survival is your responsibility."
El Loco Bandito
"..."
El Loco Bandito
"OKAY FUCKOS TIME TO DO SOMETHING! WE GOTTA GET MY DICKSUCKER BACK!"
Dimitri
"AND KILL EDELGARD!"
El Loco Bandito
"YEAH SHE STOLE MY DICKSUCKER!"
Spigot
"WOOOOO YELLING!"
Patrick Bateman
"While we train up, we should recruit new people for our cause. The less pennies her show draws, the better."
James
"What if they find this place?"
Patrick Bateman
"There's plenty more like this, and its out of the way."
El Loco Bandito
"Alright, time to get going!"


TCR Match 1[edit | edit source]

El Loco Bandito vs Runescape Bot

Runescape bot wins

TCR Match 2[edit | edit source]

Dagoth Ur vs Hugh Neutron in some cell?

Apparently you can pin in the cell?

Dagoth wins


TCR Match 3[edit | edit source]

James Sunderland and Dimitri vs That Burger guy from YTTD and Kenshiro

One fall? is that the term?

James and Dimitri wins via James pinning Kenshiro

Lore 2[edit | edit source]

Edelgard
"I've heard they ran off"
Huber
"Yes Lady Edelgard. The masked one pulled out some device that blinded us"
Edelgard
"Whatever, its more enjoyable to see the struggle before death"
Hubert
"What now? The Empire is being restored, what shall we name our new show?"
Edelgard
"Hmmmmmmmmm... How about: "World Empire Wrestling"?"
Huber
""WEW"? Well, it does sound catchy. I'll put the idea forward. We also found some belts in the storage cupboard."
Edelgard
"Good, make a singles belt and a tag team belt. The winners will be know as Champions of The Empire! And they will get a visit from me personally, to congratulate them."
Hubert
"Excellent, that'll drive viewership up. Starving the dogs who dared to run! Apparently this show is connected to a bigger one, called The Final Rumble. If we're not careful, this show might intervene... "
Edelgard
"There will be ways to fool them. For now, get us some new wrestlers..."
Hubert
"Yes my Empress..."
HUNK
"Two belts, with meetings with her as a reward. That's something we can make use of..."



WeW Match 1[edit | edit source]

Woody vs Luka

Luka wins via Pin

WeW Match 2[edit | edit source]

The TF Two (Heavy and Soldier) vs Hip to be Noided (Patrick Bateman and MC Ride)

Hip to Be Noided wins via MC Ride pinning Heavy

90 Mugs A Man backstage at WeW[edit | edit source]

90 attempts to mug Dyatlov

He fails to mug Dyatlov


Lore 3[edit | edit source]

Spigot
"HOO DICKS THAT WAS CLOSE! I'M SURE IF WE GOT CAUGHT BY THOSE GUYS I WOULD HAVE NO MORE DICKS TO SUCK! HEY WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT HELMET FROM?"
Manager
(*You check your head and notice a pink helmet rests on it. Could it be that you're getting E.G.O Gifts too?*)
Spigot
"THAT HELMET LOOKS LIKE THE ONE OFF THAT BLACK GUY WE BEAT A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. WHY CAN'T I GET FANCY THINGS! I WANT A BIG OL' DONG COMING OUT FROM THE TOP OF MY HEAD! BACK TO WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY! I FOUND ANOTHER DUDE THAT LOOKS LIKE AN AB-KNOB-ALITY! I HAD AN INFO SHEET ON HIM BUT I LOST IT! MAYBE I USED IT AS A WANK RAG AND THREW IT IN THE BIN! BUT YOU KNOW HIM WHEN YOU'LL SEE HIM BECAUSE HE'S A HUGE DUDE WITH A SKULL FOR A HEAD! I CAN GET HIM TO LIGHTEN UP WITH A GOOD OL' JOKE AND YOU CAN WHACK'EM WHEN HE'S LAUGHIN AT MY GREAT WORDS! JUST WATCH!"
*Few Moments later*
Spigot
"YO! YO! YO!
Death Knight
"..."
Spigot
"WHAT'S THE EARLIEST SIGN YOU MIGHT HAVE AIDS????"
Death Knight
"..."
Spigot
"A POUNDING SENSATION IN THE REAR END!"
Death Knight
"... You're one of those Cartel fighters, aren't you?"
Spigot
"OH FUCK!"
Death Knight
"Come here and face your death!"
Spigot
"SUCK MY DICK NERD!"



WeW Match 3[edit | edit source]

Death Knight (Fuck you Behelit) vs Manager with Spigot as Manager

Death Knight wins via pin

TCR Match 4[edit | edit source]

The Gamer Wizard vs Eggman

Gamer Wizard wins via Pin

TCR Match 5[edit | edit source]

6 man Elimination Chamber

Kunt vs Mutou Yugi vs Patrick Bateman vs Wakka vs Sigurd vs Travelling Knight

Kunt pins Wakka

Bateman pins Travelling Knight

Kunt pins Sigurd

Kunt pins Yugi

Kunt pins Bateman

Kunt wins

Lore 4[edit | edit source]

El Loco Bandito
"So, it looks like the producers abandoned us."
Dimitri
"What coward! Do they want us to die?"
HUNK
"It won't matter, it's not like they can fight. It's up to us to solve this."
El Loco Bandito
"So, what have you heard so far then?"
HUNK
"It looks like The Empire are bringing out new belts to encourage viewership. Specifically, a new singles belt, and a tag teams belt."
Patrick Bateman
"Interesting, but how will this help us?"
HUNK
"The winners of these belts, dubbed "Champions of The Empire"... Will also get to meet Edelgard in person."
Dimitri
"THEN WE CAN KILL THAT WOMAN!"
HUNK
"We could try that, and the surprise would catch The Empire off-guard."
James
"But we're enemies of The Empire... How do we get in?" *
HUNK
"Correct, YOU are. And so is myself, Dimitri and El Loco. They only know about us four, and the competition is open to all wrestlers"
Patrick Bateman
"So the rest of us can fight in it? Excellent, very nice."
HUNK
"Correct, the winners could sneak a few of us in and we could strike."
Dimitri
"Ending the war before it started..."
HUNK
"We need to be careful with who we send, The Empire will also have their own wrestlers and we can't let them win the belts. The way the tournament will run is something yet not determined. In the meantime, I'll keep spying on them. Figure out who to send when the tourney starts."





TCR Match 6[edit | edit source]

15 Minute Iron Man

Ace Visconti vs Bane

Bane pins Ace 1-0

Ace pins Bane 1-1

Ace pins Bane 1-2

Ace pins Bane 1-3

Ace pins Bane 1-4

Ace wins

TCR Match 7[edit | edit source]

Royal Rumble 20 man

Ace wins

  1. Manager
  2. El Hermano
  3. Dagoth Ur
  4. Kunt
  5. Hugh Neutron
  6. Wakka
  7. Big Dog
  8. Patrick Bateman
  9. Gamer Wizard
  10. Dimitri Blaiddyd
  11. James Sunderland
  12. Kenshiro
  13. Q-taro Burgerberg
  14. Luka
  15. Eri
  16. Anthony Burch
  17. Travelling Knight
  18. Sigurd
  19. El Loco Bandito
  20. Ace Visconti

(I'll count them later when i get to the match tables)