TCR/S1E4

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH YES BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



Lore 1[edit | edit source]

Manager
*You see the beatnik running towards you again...*
Spigot
"HEY YOU! WE DID GREAT LAST WEEK! I TOLD YOU, YOU NEEDED AN EXPERT DONG PIRATE!

I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY WE'VE BEEN GIVEN ANOTHER MATCH! THE GUYS WE'RE UP AGAINST CALL THEMSELVES "THE MAGICAL WORLD". HERE'S WHAT ONE OF THEM LOOKS LIKE"

Manager
*You take a look at the info sheet...*



Spigot
"THEY LOOK FUNKY RIGHT? PERSONALLY I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT DOGS! BUT I'VE SEEN HOW IT GETS BEAT!

YOU SEE ON THAT SHEET? WE GOTTA WHACK'EM IN THE HEAD! THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN! YOU'VE GOT THAT KICK, WHATS IT CALLED... SEXECUTION BULLET? NO? WHATEVER! YOU KICK'EM IN THE HEAD! THEIR TAG PARTNER IS A BIT OF A WEIRD FUCK TOO!

But I don't have one of these pages on them. That means they are not an ab-knob-ality right?"

Manager
*You are relieved that the man has finally found his indoor voice...*
Spigot
"ANYWAYS! I'M GONNA LEAVE NOW! WE GOTTA PREPARE!

TIME TO STRETCH MY LEGS!

STRETCH MY DICK!

STRETCH MY BALLS!"

Manager
*The strange man runs off again...*

Match 1[edit | edit source]

El Loco Bandito vs Quint

El Loco Bandito wins via pin

Match 2[edit | edit source]

Manager and Spigot vs Big Dog and Eri

Eri and Big Dog win via Eri pinning Spigot


Lore 2[edit | edit source]

Dimitri
"Hey, I'm impressed, you two gave us such a fight! And here i thought you were just being crazy... I think you got some serious strength and you don't know it!

Tell you what James, I had a word with management again.I got you booked for a one versus one, I think it's time for you to show yourself without handicaps or people holding you back.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I hope one day we can have a real match in the ring."

James
"Dimitri..."
Dimitri
"Yes?"
James
"You know the pain too... Of losing someone."
Dimitri
"I do actually. I still remember them all, but I don't let it haunt me or hold me back. Remember to not drown yourself in the pain. James."
*Dimitri leaves the room*
James
"...He knows... Finally someone that knows how this feels... I hope we can fight again..."



Match 3[edit | edit source]

James Sunderland vs Dagoth Ur

Hell in a Cell

Dagoth used CHiM to crash the game

Match restarted

James wins via Pin

Match 4[edit | edit source]

1 fall

Runescape Bot vs Sam Hyde vs Yugi Moto vs Wakka

Wakka wins via pinning Yugi Moto

Match 5[edit | edit source]

Ace Visconti vs Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman wins via pin

Match 6[edit | edit source]

Travelling Knight vs Sigurd

Sigurd wins via pin

Match 7 Battle of The Big Guys[edit | edit source]

Bane vs Eggman

Bane wins via keeping Eggman out of the ring thus getting him DQ'd

90 mugs another guy[edit | edit source]

90 VS Majima backstage brawl

90 wins

This section contains copious amounts of namefaggotry
Behelit vs Toaster

Toaster wins

Miller vs Rookie Miller wins

Match 8[edit | edit source]

Dyatlov vs Heavy Last man standing

Dyatlov wins via knocking heavies shit in

Lore 3[edit | edit source]

Producer
"Hee hee hee. We're really bringing in numbers now! Who's that? We didn't want to be both-


OH FUCK ITS YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

???
"You better start talking now or i'll show you where my nickname comes from!"
Producer
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HELP MEEEEEEE IDONTWANNADIE IDONTWANNADIE IDONTWANNADIE IDONTWANNADIE! AAAAAAAAA WHY OF ALL PEOPLE! HUNK!"
HUNK
"I've come here for an object, a magical artifact to be specific. You lot have been acting pretty sly about this, what the hell is going on?"
Producer
"Okay okay okay we'll talk. Just don't hurt us, alright?"
HUNK
"That depends on if you tell me what is going on or not."
Producer
"Okay..."
*Cut to the ring*
Behelit
"HELLOOOOO EVERY ONE OF YOU LOSERS HERE! IT IS ME! THE BEST WRESTLER HERE! WAY BEYOND ANY OF YOU FUCKS!


HEY FUCK YOU DON'T BOO!


ANYWAYS I AM HERE TO ANNOUNCE THE PRIZE FOR THE TOURNAMENT!


HERE IT IS!"

Producer
"The prize is..."

Producer/Behelit
"THE DICKSUCKER!"

Behelit
"MANAGEMENT WAS RIGHT! A PRIZE FIT FOR THE LOSERS IN THIS TOURNAMENT!

Huh? WHAT? OH RIGHT! AND ME! THE GREATEST! THAT BRIEFCASE WOULD MAKE FOR A NICE PRIZE ON MY SHELF!"

HUNK
"You morons, why'd you have something like that as the prize?"
Producer
"We thought it'd be interesting! We're trying to pull pennies here man!"
HUNK
"Nevermind that! Stop the tourney! That "prize" is dangerous!"
Producer
"I-It's too late! The final match has already started! We can't stop now!"
HUNK
"Damnit! All i can do now is help pick up the pieces from whatever happens..."

Match 9[edit | edit source]

This section contains copious amounts of namefaggotry
Toaster vs Miller

Miller wins He gets the dicksucker


Lore 4[edit | edit source]

Behelit
"Oh what a shame it wasn't me, the greatest wrestler here, that won the tourney. But obviously i intended to lose! Why would i need such a prize?

Regardless, I am here to present the prize! A Dicksucker! It comes in a funny case too! I got told only the winner can open this, but i'm not sure why.

REGARDLESS! YOU THERE! ASSHOLE! TAKE THE PRIZE ALREADY! BE ALL SMUG AND SEE IF I CARE! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M MAD THAT I LOST OR ANYTHING! HAHA!


Oh, you're opening the case right now? Go on ahead!

What the-"

*A sudden flash of white covers the screen*
Behelit
"Woah, that was weird... I've never seen an onahole or whatever give off a blinding light...

...

It feels like i forgotten something... Think, what could it be... Something about a church?

Huh? Hey dickhead why are you running?


HEY! YOU FORGOT YOUR PRIZE!

...

HAHA LOOKS LIKE I GET IT ANYWAYS! ME! THE GREATEST HERE! TOTALLY NOT A JOBBER! TOTALLY NOT RIGGED!

Fuck, It feels really cold all of a sudden... This is starting to give me the creeps, I think i should leave as well! What the-!"

*An unknown assailant grabs Behelit by the throat and choke slams him*
  • *Cuts to black*

Edelgard
"It's good to be back again. Hmmmm... I smell it... An animal... A... A... Boar... He is here... But it's too late... I am here... here as this... And with this strange ... magical relic... The Adrestian Empire shall return... The eagle awakens once more... SOON HE WILL KNOW OF MY RETURN. I KNOW HE WILL COME HERE TO CHASE ME DOWN ONCE MORE. BUT IT IS TOO LATE. WITH THIS RELIC, I SHALL RESTORE MY EMPIRE. HE WILL BE OBLITERATED! THE BOAR PRINCE! FACE ME! FACE YOUR SLAUGHTER!"
More like the return of the ellipsis amirite?
*Cuts to black*
*In the TCR Locker Room"
Dimitri
"EDELGARD IS HERE? THAT WOMAN! HOW DARE SHE SHOW HER DISGUSTING FACE TO THIS WORLD ONCE MORE! I'LL DESTROY YOU! EDELGAAAAAAAAAAARD!"
*Cuts to black*

*Fade in to the Backstage*
El Loco Bandito
"THESE IDIOTS HAD IT AS A PRIZE?! MY DICKSUCKER! GODDAMNIT I JUST WANT IT BACK!"
*Screenshots of Dimitri entering the ring*
James
"Is that... Dimitri i hear? He was never like this before... Something must be wrong! I have to help him!"
*Cut to the ring*
Dimitri
"EDELGARD WHERE ARE YOU! YOU DARE WALK OUT FROM THE SHADOWS ONCE MORE! YET ONCE AGAIN YOU HIDE LIKE THE COWARD YOU ARE! SHOW YOURSELF! I WILL CRUSH THE EMPIRE ONCE MORE! WHOEVER YOU THROW AT ME I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!"
*Death Knight, Hubert and Thales come to the ring*
Thales
"How foolish of you Boar Prince. Running straight into our hands like that."
Hubert
"Perhaps the Boar the call for his slaughter after all."

Dimitri
"You three? But how?"
Hubert
"Lady Edelgard has found a new power greater than Crests or the like. We have a force behind us that you have no hope of stopping."
Dimitri
"No matter how many stand in my way, I will not stop, I will not fall!"
Hubert
"Face your death with dignity, Boar, for it is all that remains."
Dimitri
"No! I won't fall until that woman is dead once more!"
Hubert
"Face your death with dignity, Boar, for it is all that remains."

Death Knight
"How foolish... To die so delusional. Pathetic"
*James enters the ring*
Hubert
"Oh, looks like we have a guest."
Death Knight
"Like moths to a flame..."
Dimitri
"James? What are you doing here? Get out of my way! This isn't your fight!"
James
"I won't leave you here to die Dimitri! We still have to face each other one day!"
Hubert
"This changes nothing. You are still outnumbered. You too shall meet a swift end."

*El Loco Bandito enters the ring*
Dimitri
"You as well? But why?"

El Loco Bandito
"This is my fight and you know it! Hey motherfuckers! You have something of mine! My Dicksucker! Give it back right now!"

James
"Dimitri, It won't matter what you say... You helped me.. You know my pain... I am going to help you! as a friend!"
Dimitri
"I...My friends... Perhaps I was foolish to run off without you. Let us drive these dogs out of this ring!"
Hubert
"How meddlesome. You will all die in this ring!"

*Fade to black*

Match 10 The Battle For The Dicksucker[edit | edit source]

Death Knight, Hubert, Thales vs Dimitri, James Sunderland and El Loco Bandito

Adrestian Empire wins

Hubert pins El Loco

Dark Knight pins James

Dark Knight pins Dimitri