TCR/S1E3

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1st Lore[edit | edit source]

El Loco Bandito
Where the fuck is my dicksucker? None of these assholes around here are telling me where it is!
???
Hey! You!
El Loco Bandito
What the fuck do you want assho- Oh shit, what are you doing here?
???
Quiet. I'm here about that artifact reported to be here. The one that belongs to you?
El Loco Bandito
Hey man, I already got my ass kicked once, I just want my fucking dicksucker back.
???
Nevermind that. You're the previous owner. You know about it's powers, correct?
El Loco Bandito
Of course man, that thing is mine. Why wouldn't i know about what it does?
???
hat does it do then?
El Loco Bandito
Look, it takes someone mentally prepared to handle it, if they're not strong enough...
???
What happens?
El Loco Bandito
Bad shit man, what shit depends on who gets it. That's why i am looking for it. Listen, i have to keep looking for it before someone else finds it. If you find it, give it back.
???
... "Bad shit"... Why would someone want this? I'll find the management of this place, they're likely to know where it is.

Match 1[edit | edit source]

El Loco Bandito vs Spigot

Spigot wins via Pin

Lore 2[edit | edit source]

???
HEY! YOU!
Manager
(You see a man in a black beatnik outfit running towards you.)
Spigot
YOU'RE LIKE SOME KIND OF RESEARCHER RIGHT?
Manager
(You nod, about to speak when-)
Spigot
BUT WHAT ABOUT DICKS? IF YOU WANT A RESEARCHER FOR THAT I CAN HELP YOU, I KNOW ALL ABOUT HUFFING DOWN DONGS.
Manager
You're not sure why he's talking about this. You explain to him the four virtues: Fortitude, Prudence, Temperance and Justice.)
Spigot
FORTITUDE? WELL I NEED LOTS OF THAT TO SURVIVE A BIG GAY NIGHT OUT! PRUDENCE? DO YOU THINK I AM A PRUDE? I SHOULD SHOUT LOUDER THEN!
Manager
(You try to get him to stop yelling, but he keeps going...)
Spigot
TEMPERANCE? WORK SUCCESS? WELL I CERTAINLY KNOW MY WAY AROUND A DONG!!!!! JUSTICE? MORE LIKE JUST ASS! MY ASS! TO BE SPECIFIC! FROM THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE YOU LOOK CONFUSED SO I ASSUME YOU DON'T HAVE AN EXPERT DONG PIRATE BUT NOW YOU'LL HAVE ME! WITH US TOGETHER, WE'LL KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT DICKS, AND AB-KNOB-ALITIES OR WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM.
Manager
(The strange man scampers off... Why does he act like that?)


This section contains copious amounts of namefaggotry

Namefag Tourney

american talon
belias belias talon sim
render behelit behelit miller miller
behelit toaster mallory
bag boy (moot) miller jesusbarrel
nyron bag boy rookie waelcyrie waelcyrie
toaster toaster rookie rookie (gamer wizard)
90 alchius

Lore 3[edit | edit source]

Dimitri
Looks like you've learned, that was a good fight.
Big Dog
THANK YOU DIMITRI, I REMEMBERED FROM LAST TIME TO STOP THAT PUNCH OF YOURS!
Dimitri
Hey, who's that guy on the bench?
James
Mary...
Dimitri
Hey buddy, you alright?
James
Need to be punished...
Dimitri
What was that? Speak up!
James
You three... fight me.
El Hermano
He's talking to me too.
Dimitri
Oh, right. So you wanna fight the three of us? I mean, I guess we can do a regular handicap but...
James
No... Elimination or two out of three...
Dimitri
You're kidding, it'd be you against us three! We're trying to give you a chance here! Maybe we could find a tag partner for you? But who'd wanna fight a two versus three?
Goro Majima
JAAAAAAAAAAAAMES-CHAAAAAAAAAN
Dimitri
Looks like someone took the offer. I'll go talk to management about putting the match together then.

(Exit all but James and Majima.)

Goro Majima
What was that about?
James
I have to find her...

(James leaves)

Goro Majima
The hell is up with this place?

90's backstage mugging[edit | edit source]

90 defeats Anthony Burch and steals his Wii-U


New Debuts (I think?)[edit | edit source]

Ace Visconti vs LODSAMONE vs Eggman vs Travelling Knight

4 man Table match

Ace wins (i will count the table drops when i am not half dead asleep)

Match 6[edit | edit source]

Yugi Moto vs Sigurd

Sigurd wins via pin

The Holy SHIT 2v3[edit | edit source]

Majima and James Sunderland vs Big Dog, El Hermano and Dimitri

FUCKING JAMES AND MAJIMA EATING TAG MOVES AND FINISHERS LIKE THEY ARE NOTHING FOR 40 MINUTES STRAIGHT

Match 8[edit | edit source]

Spigot and Manager vs MC Ride and Patrick Bateman

Spigot and Manager win via pinning MC Ride