S7E3/BCW

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Match 1[edit | edit source]

  1. Gregory Edgeworth
  2. Mr. Justice
  • Singles

Wrestler Fall Method
Mr. Justice Gregory Edgeworth Pin
Winner Mr. Justice

Match 2[edit | edit source]

  1. Phosphophyllite
  2. Hisoka
  • Singles

Wrestler Fall Method
Hisoka Phosphophyllite Pin
Winner Hisoka

Lore 1[edit | edit source]

Emperor
Yeah that's right puto!
This is Emperor (King of the Mountain!)
This is the best car ever created! Fuck you and that homo Hiroshi Uchiyamada.
Check this out! See ya later bitch?
York
Well, we've really done it now, haven't we Zach?
We've gone and made a big mistake.
I was really starting to like that car, too, but something felt off about it.
Let's read over our notes at catering, okay? A nice cup of Joe should help get my mind going.
You see that, Zach? "Café au lait", a French classic.
We are in France after all, it'd be a waste to not take this.
Let's see what the coffee spells out to us...
Now, let's go over the facts.
Fact number one: The car's identification and papers claim it is a "LAN EVO", circa the late 1990s.
Fact number two: This "Emperor" is a respected street racer from Japan, who "rules the mountain", whatever that means.
But there's something wrong with those facts, right? There's a discrepency.
For one, I've never seen a "LAN EVO" all too much before now, but I know they don't have removable tops.
And this "Emperor" clearly isn't Japanese. He has a Mexican accent and regularly speaks Spanish.
Which leads to the next discrepancy. The LAN EVO wasn't exported out of Japan until 2005 and the Evolution VIII.
Yet the papers in the glove box claim this vehicle was manufactured in the late 90s.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? This "Emperor" might be a phony.
You think it'd be worth investigating him, Zach?

Match 3[edit | edit source]

  1. Johnny Knoxville
  2. Parco Folgore
  • Falls Count Anywhere

Wrestler Fall Method
Johnny Knoxville Parco Folgore Pin
Winner Johnny Knoxville

Match 4[edit | edit source]

  1. Susuhara Suzumu
  2. Sam Stone
  3. Sneed????
  4. Cabanela????????
  • Singles????????????

Wrestler Fall Method
Sam Stone Susuhara Suzumu Pin
Winner Sam Stone

Lore 2[edit | edit source]

Match 5[edit | edit source]

  1. Kubota Zen
  2. Monkinzo
  3. Monkinzo
  4. Monkinzo
  5. Monkinzo
  6. Monkinzo
  7. Monkinzo
  8. Monkinzo
  • Battle Royal

Eliminations
Wrestler Eliminated
Monkinzo Monkinzo
Monkinzo Monkinzo
Monkinzo Monkinzo
Monkinzo Monkinzo
Monkinzo Monkinzo
Monkinzo Kubota Zen
Monkinzo Monkinzo
Winner Monkinzo
Note no fucking idea if these are actual elims

Lore 3[edit | edit source]

Narrator
Spazz Maticus, a young king on a mad quest to rule Coolsville.
After coming across precious ores, he tries to forge a deal with the King of Kings.
Being unsuccessful due to disagreements, Spazz now looks for new allies on his quest.
Suddenly, the God of War himself blocks the King's path.
Spazz must now prove himself worthy of the God's boons.

Match 6[edit | edit source]

  1. Ares
  2. Spazz Maticus
  • Extreme Rules

Wrestler Fall Method
Ares Ares D.Q.
Winner Spazz Maticus
Note Ares DQ'd himself despite match type

Lore 4[edit | edit source]

Jesse
damm mr wort im sorry i got pinned again
White
is okay jesre we just have to leaf befor the mafir arrive
Jesse
but mr their already at the door xdddd!
White
ohmy god jessr ok its ok we habe the guns
...jesdse we half the guns right????
god dammit jets whre did you go?
Jesse
its okay mr whut i negotate
White
wtf how you negotrate with maf??
Jesse
mr what i have a lotf charisma
White
shut up jesser just say what happend
Jesse
if we win we get 2003 km/s of methe
White
wtf y they want meth from us then????
Jesse
but if they beatr us they get halv or earrings forevr xddd!

Match 7[edit | edit source]

  1. The Methé (Walter White & Jesse Pinkman)
  2. Mafia City (Charles & The Son)
  • Tag-Team

Wrestler Fall Method
The Son Walter White Pin
Winner Mafia City

Lore 5[edit | edit source]

Red
Tre, you won't believe it! I have great news!
Extra
They gave you a new broom?
Red
No, not that!
Extra
Brooklyn von Braun is dead?
Red
Can you take me seriously for once?
Extra
You're gonna confess your love-
Red
!!!
Extra
...For cats?
Red
NO, YOU DUMBASS! I DON'T EVEN HAVE CATS!
Well, you know, that other federation they don't allow us to say the name of...
They had their Janitor fight last week. Apparently popped a rating. So they're letting me wrestle this once too!
I'm gonna make the most out of this opportunity.
Extra
Unlike me, right?
Red
Yes, unlike you.
Extra
...I was trying to be funny.
Red
You're not. By the way, I'm not splitting the hot-dog.

Match 8[edit | edit source]

  1. Red
  2. Ryuuguu Rena
  • Singles

Wrestler Fall Method
Red Ryuuguu Rena Pin
Winner Red

Lore 6[edit | edit source]

Junpei
Aaaagh, dammit! I got unluuuuuckyyyyyy!
Satoko
Ohohohohoho! Oh my, oh my! You couldn't beat my score again!
Big Brudder would do much better than you, you know?
Junpei
This is not fair! Let's play something else!
Kusabi
...Those kids...
Rika
Miii, you enjoy watching them, don't you?
Kusabi
The fuck are you talking about? I just needed a break.
Rika
That's quite the long break you're taking... *hic*
I think it's going to end soon, though!
Junpei
HEY! YOU WATCHING OVER THERE! OLD MAN!
Kusabi
...
Junpei
DON'T YOU IGNORE ME! I NEED HELP!
Kusabi
What, can't wipe your ass properly?
Junpei
This girl is making some kind of bet with me! We're gonna wrestle, and I can't lose!
If I do, I'm gonna get "punished", whatever that is! I need a partner!
Kusabi
Why the fuck do you? She's a little girl, and she's alone!
Rika
Oh, it's my turn! Nipah~ *hic*
Kusabi
...You're shitting me.
You can't be telling me you can't handle actual children in that ring!
I fucking hate wrestling, and even I could do better!
Junpei
Then come and prove it! Don't be a wuss!
Kusabi
Wuss? The fuck are you saying?!
Guess I'll have to teach you fuckin' kids a lesson...

Match 9[edit | edit source]

  1. The Club (Furude Rika & Houjou Satoko)
  2. Kusabi Tetsugoro & Iori Junpei
  • Tag-Team

Wrestler Fall Method
Furude Rika Iori Junpei Pin
Winner The Club

Lore 7[edit | edit source]

Gashu
...I've found it. Yet another target.
Rakesh
Hai na? Tum kya chaahate ho?
Gashu
Someone like you, who doesn't contribute to the investigations...
You are an impediment to this company. A failure.
But worry not, I shall put an end to your useless existence.
Rakesh
Kya aap jaanate hain ki sabase nazadeekee baithane kee sadak kahaan hai?
Kshama karen, main angrejee nahin bolata.
Gashu
I don't want to hear your excuses. You are dragging this federation down by the second.
Kaidou
Preying on the weak, are you?!
I shall not allow that to happen!
Gashu
Do not interrupt me. Are you, per chance...?
Yes, you too! You are on the list!
Kaidou
My friend here has a big match waiting for him!
Rakesh
Mujhe shauch jaana hai!
Kaidou
I won't allow you to touch Rakesh! For I am The Jet-Black Wings!
Gashu
You're nothing more than a filthy n... n... N...
NOOOOOOON-DETECTIVE! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK NON-DETECTIVES!
I'LL END THEM ALL!

Match 10[edit | edit source]

  1. Satou Gashu
  2. Kaidou Shun
  • Extreme Rules

Wrestler Fall Method
Kaidou Shun Satou Gashu Pin
Winner Satou Gashu

Lore 8[edit | edit source]

Jevil
Ever since I woke up this morning, I've had an itch. An itch that I can't scratch by myself. You see, I woke up this morning ready for a fight, and I've come out here to do just that.
A certain Superstar has been very successful lately, and I cant stand it. he's been getting all of the attention, the interviews, the magazine covers. Hell, he's even getting his own show on the WWE Network! That should be me! I should be the one getting all of the attention!
We're not going to wait until next week. We're not going to wait until the next big event. We're going to do this right here, right now! EREN YEAGER, get out here!
Eren Yeager
Is that all you've got? C'mon, WWE Universe, I know you can do better than that. I want to hear you all, from the front row all the way up to the rafters! Let me hear what you've got!
Jevil
Oh hey, perfect timing! I was looking to thump on an internet darling, and here you are, heaven sent. Exactly the type of guy I was looking for.
Eren Yeager
You got a lot of guts, coming out to this ring talking with so much bass in your voice when someone like me's walking around here.
Jevil
I'll talk any way I damn well please, and, if you think for a second I'm afraid of the likes of you, you're sorely mistaken. You tell me to take he bass out, but you're about to see just how low I can go.
Eren Yeager
I just wanted to come out here tonight and say to your face that there's nothing you can ever do to me. You'll never be able to beat me, because I've got something in my pocket that you'll never have: friends in high places. The Authority gives me a certain degree of safety to do whatever I want.
Jevil
There's no reason to be hasty about things. I have no problem taking you on in a match, but not tonight. You see, I'm not a thug that jumps into battle at the drop of a hat. I need the proper amount of time to physically and mentally prepare for battle. That's why I'll always be better than you.
Eren Yeager
You call that a challenge? My grandmother can do a better job than that, and she's half deaf and wears dentures. I can understand if you're scared. I would be too if I knew I was about to get my ass whipped. But, it's too late to turn back now. Prepare to be destroyed.
Jevil
You seem to think that if you come out here and scream loud enough, if you sputter and flail around like a madman, someone will give you what you want just to make you stop. Well, I'm not your mother, and I'm not proud of you either. It must be hard, disappointing these fans each and every week just like you always disappointed her.
I'm standing here, thinking about what part of you I should break first. Should I bust your hip, close your eye, or knock out your teeth? Once the management gives me the word, I'll put thought into action!

Match 11[edit | edit source]

  1. Jevil
  2. Champion Eren Yeager
  • For Literal Who Title
  • Hell in a Cell

Wrestler Fall Method
Eren Yeager Jevil Pin
Winner Eren Yeager

Lore 9[edit | edit source]

???
...
Adler
Bell, are you sleeping on the job again?
Can't say I blame you, hand-to-hand wrestling doesn't get your adrenaline going as much as a firefight.
You did good last week, by the way. We did good. It was a dirty victory, but history is written by the victors. We deserve the rest.
Unfortunately, we don't have anymore time. Wake up, Bell, we've got a job to do.
This one comes from Langley, apparently it's top priority.
We've got ourselves a maniac killing off CIA agents, but his method of murder is... strange, to say the least.
Bell
Only CIA agents, sir? How could he know who is and isn't an agent among the crowd?
Adler
We've got him on cassette, thanks to one of his victims. Play it, Bell.
???
Yeah-ha! Fucking Nigger CIA Nigger! I can see you from a mile away nigger! You glow in the dark like everyone else!
Bell
Sounds more mature than your ex-wife, somehow.
Adler
Ha, you got that right Bell. Back on track, though...
According to intelligence, this man, Terry A. Davis, has been spotted in Paris just this morning.
We're going to put a stop to him before he strikes again.
He's running down CIA assets, Bell. Someone's paying him to do so, no one is that crazy to do it on a whim.
Bell
Perseus, sir?
Adler
Either him, or someone else...

Match 12[edit | edit source]

  1. Russell Adler (w/ Bell support)
  2. Terry Davis
  • Singles

Wrestler Fall Method
Russell Adler Terry Davis Pin
Winner Russell Adler
Note Terry got brainwashed by Adler

Lore 10[edit | edit source]

Ooishi
Nfu-fu-fu-fu, I take it you liked what you just saw?
Date
You bet I did! Is that the guy?
Okabe
Huh? Who are you? It couldn't be...
Has he asked for a personal meeting with Hououin Kyouma?!
FUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who allowed such a thing before consulting me first?!
(Date... He can be really useful.)
Date
I... I... I'm sorry, sir! But p-please, teach me your ways! How did you get such high quality pictures?!
Aiba
Date... I never thought you'd stoop so low...
...Actually, yes, I did.
Okabe
...
Stand up. Hououin Kyouma admires your humbleness.
I do not believe we are looking for a sixth King at the moment. However, I shall open an exception for you!
Those teachings shall guide you towards enlightenment!
Keiichi
Okarin... You just barely joined us...
Wouldn't Tommy make for a better teacher when it comes to that?
Tomitake
Well, I do know a few things about photography myself, but...
There's a meeting about to start, isn't there?
Okabe
...Right. This will have to wait, then.
Date
But... What other night am I gonna be able to catch that Janitor girl dressing up...?
Irie
We must all make sacrifices sometimes...
Like me. I could be watching Satoko at the batting cages right now... Uuuhhhhhh!!! Dammiiiiiiiiitttt!!
Keiichi
But as long as you're with us, everything is going to be alright!
Ooishi
Nfu-fu-fu! Isn't it time for you to get back to work, Date?
I heard from Akasaka...
It seems like you haven't made much progress on your side of the investigation, have you? Na-ha-ha-ha!
Date
Ah, you see... He was just joking around, that's all! I'm waiting to confirm a bunch of juicy info I got!
Ooishi
Hmmmm? Why don't we go to my car and you tell me about it, then?
I've got air-conditioning! Nfu-fu-fu-fu!
Date
S-Sure! L-Let's go, hahaha...
(Aiba, get me the route to the nearest hostess club. I'm gonna need a good bribe for this one.)
Aiba
You disgust me.
Okonogi
Greetings, everyone! We're here to start yet another meeting regarding the ongoing murder case.
I take it that with the many criminal specialists here, we have gathered some evidence, haven't we?
Either way, let's get straight to the poin-
Eikichi
AAAAAAAALLL RIGHT! WOOOOOAHH BABY!
COME ON, EVERYBODY! IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRST-EVER GAS CHAMBER BACKSTAGE CONCERT!
AND WE'RE GOING ALL NIGHT HERE!
Keiichi
Gas Chamber? What is that all about?!
Couldn't you have picked a better time and place?!
Eikichi
Sorry, but we need to make some noise! It's the only way we'll become the #1 band in Japan!
Okabe
K, Iri, Tommy... We need to stop this concert.
Keiichi
You care that much about this meeting?
Okabe
I'm sure there's very important matters to be discussed! What if... What if they're agents of SERN?!
Keiichi
...You're right!
If we must, then... Soul Brothers, unite!

Match 13[edit | edit source]

  1. Gas Chamber (Mishina Eikichi & Cronos de Medici & Lord Garithos & Albus Dumbledore)
  2. The Soul Brothers (Irie Kyousuke & Tomitake Jirou & Maebara Keiichi & Okabe Rintarou)
  • Tag-Team
  • Elimination
  • KOs

Wrestler Fall Method
Tomitake Jirou Mishina Eikichi K.O.
Lord Garithos Tomitake Jirou Pin
Maebara Keiichi Lord Garithos Pin
Cronos de Medici Okabe Rintarou K.O.
Irie Kyousuke K.O.
Maebara Keiichi Cronos de Medici K.O.
Albus Dumbledore Count-Out
Maebara Keiichi Count-Out
Winner Draw

Lore 11[edit | edit source]

Senator Armstrong
Since I was a kid, I had a dream; to be the WWE Champion. I clawed and pushed my way to get here, and I did it on my own, I'm not here to make friends. I don't care about any of you or anyone in the locker room. I'm doing all of this for me.
I came out here to talk about a certain Superstar. You know the one I mean. The guy who's always coming out here talking about how much they love the WWE Universe. I don't know who makes me more sick: you or him!
So, JAYDEN, come on down! You're the next contestant on "Your Ass is Kicked!"
Jayden
WWE Universe...thanks so much for that amazing response. But tonight, I need to get right down to business. There's something bothering me that I need to get off my chest right now, and it has to do with that man standing inside the ring.
Senator Armstrong
Hold on a second...you think you're making a statement by interrupting me? I'm the greatest Superstar to ever grace the inside of this ring, and the WWE Universe paid good money to hear me speak. So, whatever you have to say, hurry up and be on your way.
Jayden
I'm sorry, but I think I'm lost. Can you tell me where I can find the WWE? Because what I'm currently listening to sounds like a whiny reality show with some rich housewife complaining about how her mansion has three wings instead of four. Seriously, snap out of that fantasy because people came here to see a fight.
Senator Armstrong
You can't speak to me that way. You know why? You're looking at the most gifted and talented icon to ever step inside this ring. They're already creating a separate wing in the WWE Hall of Fame just to honor my accomplishments. You'll be lucky if you can make the top ten list of most unsuccessful Superstars in WWE history.
Jayden
I ain't got much patience. Mama always told me that wasn't the best quality! But, bruh, you got me about to snap right about now! And, mama don't like it when I snap! But mam ain't here, now is she? So, how about I break your pencil neck in front of the WWE Universe?!
Senator Armstrong
I hope you have good health insurance because you're going to need it once I'm done with you. You see, I am and will always be a superior athlete when it comes to competing in this ring. Just tell me when you'd like me to embarrass you, and I'll be there to see it through.
Jayden
Why are you screaming? Did you take your pills? You seem very, very angry. I only came to ask, "How are you doing, friend?"

Match 14[edit | edit source]

  1. Jayden
  2. Rakesh Kumar Orton
  3. Champion Senator Armstrong
  • For BCW World Title
  • Triple-Threat
  • Extreme Rules

Wrestler Fall Method
Rakesh Kumar Orton Senator Armstrong Pin
Winner Rakesh Kumar Orton

Lore 12[edit | edit source]

Apollo
Agh! Seems like no one is taking this case seriously!
Apollo
All I see is people running around, worrying about their own personal matters!
Maybe having this many detectives for the same job can somehow get detrimental to the investigation.
Amami
Relax. We don't need to worry about them.
We can figure this one out ourselves, can't we?
They wouldn't have chosen us otherwise.
All you need to do is calm down and think for a second, Apollo. We can solve this one easily.
Apollo
Right... Calm down... Calm down... Right! I'm fine!
I'M FINE! I'M FINE! I'M FINE! I'M FINE! I'M FINE!
Amami
Hahahah... Please, be a bit more quiet next time.
Anyway, you know what I was thinking, right, Beato?
Beatrice
*cackle*cackle*cackle*
The solution is simple! Allow me to use the red...
The easiest escape route for the culprit would have been the vents.
It would also get them the furthest away from the scene, as quick as possible.
Have you figured our plan out yet, Apoooooollooooooooooo?!!!
Apollo
I see! We're going to look through the vents and try to find evidence of whoever passed through them?!
Amami
No. I've said it before. We're going to end this murder case.
It's simple, we don't need to know WHO the culprit is just yet.
Watch this...

Amami takes a shot put ball out and places it on the vents, then gives it a little push.

Apollo
WHAT IS THAT GONNA DO?!
Amami
Apollo... No shouting...
Apollo
S-Sorry, just my chords of steel...
Amami
See, if the culprit is still lurking through the vents... When we hear a noise, it'd mean the ball hit them!
Then we just gotta go in and drag their body while they're knocked out!
Apollo
And how would they be hiding in the vents for such a long time?!
That doesn't make any sense! They wouldn't even be able to eat! What makes you think that?!
Amami
...Just feels like something a smart guy would do...