S6E3

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Lore 1[edit | edit source]

"This is your savior? You say this FAILURE is your savior?" ― Chris Redfield

Juzo
So, today has been that calm, huh? That Joker guy really disappeared after all.
Vergin
HEY! HELLO?! HEY!
Juzo
You have no orders for me, either? Alright, guess I'm gonna be reduced to regular security work for today, then.
Vergin
HEY! HEY! LOOK AT ME! ARE YOU LISTENING?! HEY!
Narukami
Nothing. If I spot any of them, however, I'll let you know.
Juzo
Go for it big guy.
Something is really bothering me, though. I wonder where that noise is coming from...
YOU! NO LOUD MUSIC ALLOWED HERE! TURN IT OFF! ONLY SONGS FROM THE PRODUCTION TEAM'S PLAYLIST CAN BE PLAYED ON THE HALLWAYS!
Vergin
HAHAHAH! I KNEW YOU'D NOTICE ME IF I DID THAT!
Juzo
The hell do you want? That's not how you get a security guard's attention!
Unless you want a good old ass whooping, that is!
Vergin
I have a complaint!
You see, that guy over there, with the blue hair! He was making fun of my hat!
Juzo
...And?
Vergin
H-He was very m-mean! I thought a-all the bullying in this locker room would be restricted to dick jokes!
HE CAN'T JUST KEEP TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!
Or else... I'll show him my power.
Juzo
Deal with your own problems, you wuss. Stop wasting my time with dumb shit.
Wait... You still didn't turn your goddamn music off!
That's it, you're getting a free ticket for a beating, right now!
Vergin
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! DONTE, HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Opening Match[edit | edit source]

  1. Vergin (w/ Nero)
  2. Sakakura Juzo (w/ Narukami Yu)
    • For Money in the Bank qualification
  • Sakakura Juzo
    • Win

Lore 2[edit | edit source]

Darkholme
So, you're my opponent for tonight, huh.
Rance
Yeah, what about it?
Darkholme
I heard about your past... And I wanted to tell you something.
Those things you did, they're pretty... Kinky, if I have to say so myself.
But if you want, we could go DEEPER.
Rance
Gahahahaha! I'm sorry, but I don't swing that way, my friend!
Darkholme
You don't get it. I'm talking about taking it to a spiritual level.
First session is free. I can make your deep dark fantasies come true.
Afterwards, I have a special course for 300 bucks! You can even bring your troops to my camp!
Rance
Alright then! If I lose this match, I'll pay for your 'special course', in Gold!
But... Well, first of all, I'm not taking it!
And secondly, I won't lose, because I'm the strongest! GAHAHAHAHA! Right, Gene?
Gene
...Hey, Van, you DO give fisting lessons, right? You see, there's this hand of mine, and...
Rance
Now is not the time for that! Let's get to the ring already!

Match 2[edit | edit source]

  1. Rance (w/ Gene)
  2. Van Darkholme
    • For Money in the Bank qualification
  • Van Darkholme
    • Win

Lore 3[edit | edit source]

TheRapist
...And that's why you gotta calm down, alright?
Your sister still has a little time left to find a good man, and she can always freeze he-
Fred
CHRIS! This has gone too far!
You escaped from me last week, but now that Leon is conscious again, you're going down!
You've beaten up my innocent partner for no reason at all, and then you put your hands on a woman?
Do you really call yourself a man, Chris? All of it because of some dumb bullshit we already solved ages ago?
Did you really have to bring that back? I regret ever trusting you!
Chris
Fred... You just don't understand... It is just my duty as a brother.
Fred
Bullshit! Something is wrong with you, man! You had already gotten over it!
You even told us you were making an OkCupid profile for Claire, dammit!
Chris
Whatever I told you back then doesn't concern us now.
I WILL make Leon breed Claire.
You just don't get it, do you, Fred?
I WAS IN CLAIRE'S HOME RECENTLY AND SHE HAD A WEIRD GRAY CAT DANCING ALL OVER THE PLACE!
I MEAN, HOW THE HELL DID SHE EVEN TEACH HIM TO DO THAT? HOW WAS THAT REAL?
AND THEN, AFTERWARDS... ANOTHER CAT OF HERS STOLE MY FUCKING PIPE! SHE'S GONNA BUILD AN ARMY, FRED! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
That's why... A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...
All is in the name of guiding his bloodline down the right path.
Fred
DAMMIT CHRIS, I'M GONNA HAVE TO TEACH YOU A LESSON!

Match 3[edit | edit source]

  1. Fred Jones
  2. Chris Redfield
    • For Money in the Bank qualification
  • Chris Redfield
    • Win

Lore 4[edit | edit source]

Central
It seems like our efforts have been fruitful. I have gotten no new complaints recently, and our masters have handled the ones they got with utter class!
Except for Fred, that is, but considering how personal his issue is, I have allowed him to take harsher measures in that specific case so it doesn't escalate further.
Well, there was also a certain incident involving a small explosion and a casualty in the middle of the ring, but if anything, that one made backstage a better place!
Today has been a surprisingly quiet day and we're looking forward to long, peaceful times in this locker room, and we thank you all for the cooperation!
On the meantime, tonight, we are having plenty of Money in the Bank qualifying matches!
Next up, eight of you are gonna face each other for a last chance to participate in such a prestigious bout!
I wish you all the best of luck, and may you do your best tonight!
Alucard
That's it! It's my chance for redemption!
No one is gonna make fun of me ever again! If I can handle 7 other guys at the same time, I could handle 2 too!
Boomer
*sips* Ahhh, it feels just like the good old days in here! The only big issues going on are small personal incidents. We can finally focus on wrestling again!
I'll make sure to invite all of you for my next BBQ. Whoever wins this one is paying, though!
Robert
I can bring crab legs and popcorn!
Richtofen
You eat crab legs at barbecue parties? You americans really are weird.
Hellcarder
Mmmmmmm, BBQs are bad to the bone! I hope you're blasting some of that classic rock you like!
If you want pancakes, I'm an expert at those! Gonna mmmmmmmake sure to bring those hot girls I mmmmmmet, too!
Stock up on a few bottles of Jack, though!
Kaz
As long as I sit on the other side of the table from Robert, it's fine.
Pixy
Yo, how about this: whoever wins also gets a free ticket to explore the skies with me!
If you're gonna have to pay for the barbecue, then you at least deserve something cool to go with it too, right?
Ichiban
Hey, guys, sadly I won't be able to participate in tonight's match. Law School is keeping me busy. My friend Serge is gonna fill up for me, though!
Serge
...
Ichiban
Hope I'm still allowed in that party afterwards! Hahahah!
Travis
Hold the fuck on, Law School? Aren't you a Yakuza or something?
Ichiban
Oh, yeah... About that... I managed to get in using a pseudonym!
Travis
A pseudonym? What kind of background check do those guys even do?!
Aniki
Hah, I can see you guys are having fun tonight! Surely us masters get to go to that party for free, right? Hahahahah!
Dante
Did anyone say party? Count me in! You remember the good old days when we tagged together, right?
Boomer
*sips* ahhh, yes, that was a great, although short-lived team! Don't worry, all of you are invited this time around!
Janny
H-Hey, did you guys see anyone weird walking around?
I was patrolling the crowd area earlier to see if anyone was misbehaving or saying forbidden words, and then at some point I could swear I saw a masked guy going backstage!
Joe
Masked guy? Now that you mention it, I think I did see someone who looked strangely familiar in the distance earlier. He was wearing a blue mask.
I didn't care much to check who it was, though, considering I was having record sales at the moment!
Duke
Such a great atmosphere around here, huh? I'm feeling even more relaxed than during my vacations!
Oh, by the way, guys! I made a deal with our buddy Joe here!
Joe
For tonight only, if you use your Joecoin to bet on Duke, you have a chance to win double!
And I'll tell you all, that's gonna be a great way to multiply your gains! Remember, Joecoin is the future! Hahahahah!
Raiden
Alright! You know what? I got those in the Royal Rumble, so I might as well go for it anyway! Joe, I'm all in on Duke!
Date
Eh, you know what? Me too, I'm not gonna miss that opportunity!
Ooishi
Nfu-fu-fu-fu! If you guys are going to bet, then I have no other choice! I'm a collector of those coins anyway!
Joe
You won't regret it, my friend! You won't regret it!

Match 4[edit | edit source]

  1. Alucard
  2. Boomer
  3. Serge
  4. Kazuhira Miller
  5. Robert
  6. Pixy
  7. Hellcarder
  8. Richtofen
  • 8-Man Elimination Match
    • For Money in the Bank qualification

Richtofen → Hellcarder
Alucard → Serge
Kazuhira Miller → Boomer
Robert → Alucard
Pixy → Robert
Pixy → Kazuhira Miller
Pixy → Richtofen
  • Pixy
    • Win

Lore 5[edit | edit source]

Sakaido
...
My name is Sakaido.
No full name. Just Sakaido, the brilliant detective.
I remember my purpose now. I have come here to-
Shingo
ARE YOU DOING THAT THING AGAIN?
Sakaido
Huh?
Shingo
DON'T FUCK WITH ME, ALRIGHT? YOU DIDN'T DO THAT EVEN ONCE WHEN I TOOK YOU TO THE RACE SO WE COULD CELEBRATE LAST WEEK!
Sakaido
Do what? Why are you here? What do you want?
Shingo
DAMMIT, DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH FUN WE HAD?
You did make for a pretty good racing coach, I've gotta give you that...
...And as a team, we did look pretty unstoppable... I've got to thank you for that.
HEY! Don't stand so close to me, though! People are gonna think we're friends!
Sakaido
...Isn't that what you want? I mean, what is it about being a team again?
Shingo
WE HAVE A TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH COMING UP RIGHT NOW!
Sakaido
Oh? So THAT is my real objective, then?
Shingo
Dammit, just follow me. I'm sure you know what to do once we're in the ring.

Match 5[edit | edit source]

  1. Sakaido & Shingo Shoji
  2. The Daily Dose (team) (Galo & Dr. Piccolo)
  • Tornado Tag Team Match
    • For /v/ Tag Team Championship

Dr. Piccolo → Sakaido
  • The Daily Dose (team)
    • Win

Lore 6[edit | edit source]

King of Gold
So, ze factory is ready?
King of Crypto
Almost. Its construction is nearly completed. Those will be top-tier facilities, after all. They do need careful planning.
King of Stock
We do want to deliver ze best comfort for our... employees, considering how long ze work shift is!
King of Crypto
I'm glad our friend Jeff was willing to help us with that project. He had outstanding ideas once again!
King of Gold
Ze human race would exclusively consist of people like him, ideally. Not those misinformed cretins who are unwilling to learn.
???
Sir... I have another report.
King of Crypto
Do tell us.
???
They have arrived.
King of Stock
Zey will really never learn...
King of Gold
Our lack of action despite their complaints should have been enough indication.
King of Stock
Ze fact zey are still going just proves they're no better than irrational beings.
King of Crypto
Is the machine near completion?
???
Yes, sir. Our workers are currently adjusting it for usage.
King of Crypto
Good. Gentlemen, it's time to prepare for the harvest festival.
King of Gold
I see, it has finally come. That long-awaited day!
King of Crypto
It's time to return this company to square one!
King of Stock
Although in this situation, it looks to me like what we're really doing is moving forward.
???
We are, indeed, advancing towards an era of enlightenment. All is in the name of guiding humanity down the right path.
Kings
All is in the name of guiding humanity down the right path.

Lore 7[edit | edit source]

"I THINK COOLSVILLE SUCKS" ― Fred Jones

Tatsuya
...So, did Miyao talk to you about it?
Komaeda
Yeah, how considerate of him to tell someone like me about something so important...
He's gone off on his own to solve that issue, though. He wants to confront Kadoya by himself. I wish I was there to witness their hopes clashing, but that will have to wait.
Tatsuya
I see. I hope he knows when to stop, though. He might be getting himself in something really dangerous right here.
But I don't blame him. He wants to fight his own fights. What Kadoya seems to have done is extremely personal.
Komaeda
I'm sure he'll come out of that situation better than ever!
Tatsuya
Either way, what I'm here to ask you is something else. You don't have a match tonight, right?
Komaeda
Hahahah, as if trash like me would get booked when you have people like Miyao around!
Tatsuya
Well, the thing is, me and my friend here... we have a 3 on 3 match coming up. But we really don't have anyone to fill that third spot. And considering your partner is busy with something else tonight, and that you seem trustworthy enough... I think it would be a great opportunity for all of us if we joined forces in that match!
Komaeda
...Me? Teaming with you guys? Hahahahahahahah! How wonderful! How beautiful this is!
I will get to watch as you use your talents to the fullest and try to pull out a win! There's no way I could reject such an offer! Of course I'm in!
Makoto
...Don't you think that guy is a bit too weird, Tatsuya?
Tatsuya
Don't worry... We're gonna be fine.

Date
So, all of us in the ring together again, huh.
Raiden
It has been quite a while, indeed.
Ooishi
Nfu-fu-fu! I promise not to hold you boys back this time around!
Date
Wanna bet on it, old man?
Ooishi
Three magazines!
Date
Deal! There's no way I'm getting pinned tonight, either! So if you're that set on not losing, then Raiden is gonna have to pay up!
Ooishi
Better than that, he will have to pay for the both of us! Na-ha-ha-ha!
Raiden
Wait, I didn't agree to any bet! I already told you I'm not even into magazines anymore!
Date
A deal is a deal, buddy! If we win, we can just go out and celebrate like normal. But if we lose, whoever gets pinned is paying the price!
Raiden
BUT I JUST SAID I DON'T AGREE WITH THIS!
Date
Stop being a crybaby or I won't share my cards with you anymore!
Aiba
You do know you're still keeping most of those hidden from him anyway, right?
Date
(Aiba, I didn't ask you!)
Raiden
B-BUT... I'M THE ONE WHO ALWAYS GETS THE MOST RARE ON-
...Fine, let's not fight over this stuff before our match.
Ooishi
Of course! Besides, I'm sure we'll win this time around, so everyone's happy!
Raiden
...But I'm telling you I didn't agree to t-
Date
Let's just go, okay?

Match 6[edit | edit source]

  1. Hopersona (Suou Tatsuya, Yuki Makoto, Komaeda Nagito)
  2. The Coomer Gang (Date Kaname, Raiden (MG), Ooishi Kuraudo)
  • Tornado Tag Team Match
    • For /v/ Tag Team Championship

Komaeda Nagito → Raiden (DQ'd)
  • Hopersona
    • Win

Lore 8[edit | edit source]

G-Man
EYYY HIDEO YA GONNA DO THAT THANG RIGHT? BADDA BING BADDA BOOM, CHOICES!
Hideo
I'm sorry, but it seems like our plans differ greatly at the moment. We have something else in our minds for the future right now.
You shall not worry, though. I'm sure we'll reach that bright spot soon enough!
G-Man
IT'S TIME TA CHOOSE, MAN, EITHA JOIN US OR YOU GONNA GET ICED!
Hideo
Sir, I can't accept your terms right now, but I will include you in that King of Jobbers title match you're owed.
You were the legitimate #1 contender before being taken out and deemed unable to compete. Therefore, it will now be a triple threat match.
Hideo
However, that's as far as I can go with your demands. I can't do nothing about that other... proposal.
G-Man
MY CAPOMANDAMENTO AIN'T GONNA BE HAPPY WIT THAT! NEXT TIME YA SEE THAT DON OF YOURS TELL HIM 'BOUT THOSE CONSEQUENCES HE AIN'T SEE COMIN', CAPISCHE?
Hideo
Again, I am sorry and I'm sure you mean no ill will, even with those apparent threats. Have a nice day.
G-Man
FUGGEDABOUTIT! MA SEE YOU LATER AT THA PIZZERIA!

Match 7[edit | edit source]

  1. Duke Nukem
  2. Mr. America
  • Mr. America
    • Win

Lore 9[edit | edit source]

Miyao
So... It was you after all! You were the one who killed my father!
Miyao
And people were blaming Tatsuya for it... I can't believe that! I thought it was all a lie for a moment, and then...
And then you killed that other guy right in the middle of the ring, with no remorse at all!
Miyao
What did you do to him? Did you make him into one of those cards too?
ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!
Kadoya
No... I just finally understand...
This world has to be destroyed by my hands!
Miyao
WHY?
Why would we destroy it?
We're finally reaching the peaceful times we have been dreaming of!
Kadoya
You're still blind to it. You don't know what is to come.
When that man became the King of Hell... I finally remembered everything.
Kadoya
The answer is simple. I am the destroyer of all. I have accepted that.
Miyao
Stop talking nonsense! Just turn yourself in to the cops or something!
If you don't, I'm not gonna stop until I take you out with my own hands!
Kadoya
Poor kid... You can't stop the future. But I do pity you.
Kadoya
So come get me if you dare!
I'll destroy you all!

Match 8[edit | edit source]

  1. Kadoya Tsukasa
  2. Mitake Miyao
  • Kadoya Tsukasa
    • Win

Lore 10[edit | edit source]

Drake
Alright, so, guys... Remember that talent show performance I put on?
Extra
Yeah, what about it?
Drake
I wanna take it to the next level. I want to challenge myself further!
Haze
Huh? And how do you plan to do so?
Drake
A dance contest... On live TV!
Extra
What? Live TV?
Hahahah, that'd be weird, considering we're already insid-
Haze
Not this shit again, Palmfucker.
Drake
Well, you see, I'm not gonna reuse the same song as last time or anything, but... Do you guys have any suggestions?
I mean, I got first place with that "Enter Dwight" performance, so it means you two know your stuff.
Mom, Megan and all of my friends will be watching it too, so I can't disappoint them!
Haze
What about "Playback" by N-
Extra
I KNOW IT! A SONG PERFECT FOR DANCING!
Haze
Is this a fucking rerun? Why does it always have to be you?
Extra
No, LISTEN! There's this... Hmmm, how can I explain... This little performance arts niche I'm into...
Haze
Yeah, It's called gay porn.
Extra
IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT!
IN FACT, I'LL LET YOU KNOW ONLY VERY MANLY MAN ARE IN IT!
Haze
Yep... Gay porn.
Extra
Uhhh... E-Either way... T-Those guys on the place I work on, they were performance artists... A-And they had this really cool sounding entrance theme!
They used to dance to the ring while it played. And w-while I had a few... problems with one of those two... It was still really fun to watch!
I think that if you did something similar with Josh people would love it!
Drake
Hmmmm... I don't know about that gay porn stuff, dude. I'm into girls you know?
Extra
NO! I MEANT THE SOOOOOOOONG!
Drake
Oh, that. Yeah, I'll trust your judgement, I guess. Worked out last time around!
Haze
I still think my suggestion is better...
Drake
Well, uh, Isn't there any other way you can help?
Haze
Actually, yeah! I just thought of something!
I'm... Just gonna stay around the jury members! Maybe I'll have a little "talk" with them, you know?
Well, the point is, I'm gonna be there to make sure they enjoy your presentation!
Drake
Oh, alright... What is that pen for, though?
Haze
Ah, that? That's just part of making sure they enjoy it!
Drake
Okay... I don't get it, but whatever. You can come with us, then.
Extra
I'll be rooting for you guys from home!

Match 9[edit | edit source]

  1. Demi-fiend
  2. G-Man
  3. Dimitri Blaiddyd
  • Triple Threat Extreme Rules Match
    • For King of Jobbers Title

Demi-fiend → G-Man
  • Demi-fiend
    • Win

Match 10[edit | edit source]

  1. Philip U. Butler
  2. Agent 48
  • Philip U. Butler
    • Win

Lore 11[edit | edit source]

Ingurland
Lad, I gotta say, I can't believe ya made it, but I'm glad.
You're bloody good at brawlin' after all, ain't ya?
Rando
I-I-I had to p-p-prove m-myself...
Ingurland
Are you sure ya feelin' well for today's foight, though? We can always talk about postponing it.
Rando
...
Ingurland
I see. You're dead set on beatin' me, eh?
Can't blame you, I brought you chippies at the hospital before even askin' if ya loiked them first!
Awright then mate, I wish ya the best of luck! Even if you're still injured, I won't hold back this time either!
My lady at home would beat me up if I did! She's been usin' those extra pounds I get from being champ for some expensive stuff!
Such a thing is to be expected of the Queen, roight? Hahahahaha!
Listen... You're a quiet lad but I'm sure it'd still be fun to chat with ya over some beer during a Norf F.C. game!
You better not root for the opposite side like a fookin wanker, though!
I'll recommend you a noice pub later! Cheers, mate!
Rando
...M-Master... And e-e-everyone in t-that locker room... I will m-m-make you a-all proud...
I-It's my d-d-duty... As an i-important m-m-member of the O-Order...

Match 11[edit | edit source]

  1. Rando (4)
  2. King of Ingurland (4)
  • 30 Min. Iron Man Match
    • For /v/ Title
    • Draw

Lore 12[edit | edit source]

Agent 48
...Hey guys! What are you all gathered here for? Is there a meeting or something?
Anyway... Have you seen that? God, what a shitty match I just had!
My opponent was a complete asshole! H-He kept using dirty tricks on me!
Actually, more than that! From his mannerisms in the ring, I would guess that he is NOT STRAIGHT, if I could say so myself!
Als-

Ruber
...I see, so this is how we're doing it, then? A hostile takeover?
Big Smoke
That's what it looks like. CJ, you ready for this, fool?
CJ
Grove Street for life, homie.
Duke
...I have a report. It seems like those 'Order' guys really are some dumb fucks.
They fell for that shitty speech I gave so easily. I'm sure their guard is down right now.
I hope you're paying me a bonus for this. Another vacation would be good.
Raidou
Do not worry. Money will not be a problem once we have taken over this company.
And when that happens, this organization will finally recognize everyone's talents and accomplishments!
We shall build our own destiny!
Necrodancer
Yeah! I won't get screwed over by the people in charge ever again!
Sandro
Even the music guy has been screwing with us lately! This shall not stand! We're gonna stop Skeleton racism!
Raiden
And I won't be betrayed by my partners... ever again.
Joker
It seems like I don't have to hide anymore... Heheheheh... GAAAAMEEEEEEEERS, I'M THINKING IT'S TIME!
Hisoka
Indeed it is, partner! We're gonna burn down this circus!
Hellcarder
Mmmmmmmmmm, those chicks you presented to mmmmmmmme were truly badass, so I'll do your bidding without regrets this timmmmmmmme around.
Barbecue party my ass, the only mmmmmmmmeat the american badass will be getting tonight is from those "stakes", as you call them!
Joe
And to think that little girl still thinks she can avenge her dumb boyfriend...
I'm gonna have fun choking her out, along with anyone who stands in our way!
Demaro
god security in this place really is shitty huh has it always been like this
Dan
Yeah, it's weird how they still didn't realize what we're about to do...
It's probably been like that ever since that Joe guy died. He used to give me a hard time when I tried to bring a few... "special guests" to have fun backstage.
Their current Head of Security is always busy following that Yu guy around or punching random people for no reason.
Osama
I see... Does that mean I should give my planes the signal, already?
Elite Crew
I'm gonna plant the bomb at B.
Kirei
Rejoice! That will not be necessary at all!
I am fairly sure that we have enough manpower to execute this plan smoothly.
So... Shall we begin?
???
...Indeed. TFR is now under siege.

Bonus Match[edit | edit source]

  1. Geralt of Rivia & Narushima Koga & Haze Stratos & Ooishi Kuraudo
  2. HUNK & King of Ingurland & Ushiromiya Battler & Kotomine Kirei
  • Tag Team Elimination Match

King of Ingurland → Geralt of Rivia
Haze Stratos → Kotomine Kirei
HUNK → Narushima Koga
Ooishi Kuraudo → King of Ingurland
Haze Stratos → HUNK
Ushiromiya Battler → Haze Stratos
Ooishi Kuraudo → Ushiromiya Battler
  • Geralt of Rivia & Narushima Koga & Haze Stratos & Ooishi Kuraudo
    • Win