S5E9

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Lore 1[edit | edit source]

Hideo
My God, his potential... It's gigantic!
I've never seen someone beat HUNK twice in a row in my simulations!
Those headpats... What is his secret technique? I need to know!
It's better that I ask later, though, when this has all died down. For now...
I should check how the live stream is going!
...
...What? It's offline?
...I can't believe it... It actually happened... He did it...
How dare I doubt His powers? How dare I doubt His intellect?
He has finally ended the death game! And... Maybe even more than that...
That Universe... It's gone now. It should be fully separated from all others.
It exists in a place that matters not to us.
Now I just need to wait for everyone to calm down and accept what has happened. It's all over.
Incredible... He really knew what would happen from the start...

Match 1[edit | edit source]

  1. Albert Wesker
  2. John Bradford
  • Falls Count Anywhere
  • Results
    • Albert Wesker
      • Winner

Note: Match ended in 7 minutes after Wesker's entrance.

Match 2[edit | edit source]

  1. Joe Tazuna (2)
  2. Godzilla (0)
  • Tables Ironman 10m.
  • Results
    • Joe Tazuna (2)
      • Winner

Note: King barged in halfway through, beat the shit out of Joe, and left.

Match 3[edit | edit source]

  1. Mitake Miyao
  2. Maebara Keiichi
  • Extreme Rules
  • Results
    • Mitake Miyao
      • Winner

Lore 2[edit | edit source]

Ooishi
Well, well, well, could you tell me what that was all about?
HS Boy
You know what it was about, you busta. The fucking murder.
Ooishi
Na-ha-ha-ha! I know that much, what I mean to ask is: why did you attack me, instead of the culprit?
HS Boy
Because someone told me to do so! I can follow orders if the cash is right, y'know?
Hey, speakin' about it, I won't tell the police anything if you let me get the fuck out of here...
...And throw in some money in the deal too, of course!
Ooishi
So you know about the police covering this up...
I wonder how you got the information...
Maybe, the person who ordered you to attack me is also a wrestler...?
HS Boy
Mmgh...! I won't sell out my friends and peers!
Ooishi
Well, if that's the case, I've got no other option other than shipping you to the Sonozakis.
HS Boy
The Sonozakis?
Ooishi
A very big and well-structured criminal family. The scum of the earth, I'd say! Na-ha-ha-ha!
Some say they're capable of things more evil and cruel than any human being could think of!
Their actions make those murders I'm investigating look like a joke!
HS Boy
Are they... Yakuza?
Ooishi
Nfu-fu-fu, they're much worse than just normal Yakuza!
HS Boy
...Okay... O-Okay... I'll... I'll t-talk, alright? I'll talk!
I'm a member of the Grove Street Families.
I don't feel like explaining every little detail so I'll just tell ya the truth.
Big Smoke went fuckin' crazy after that busta Tomitake made him his bitch.
Really, he got humiliated in that fight!
Reminded me of when the Families made some tall guy their bitch in the summer of 92.
So he sent out an order to all Grove Street members to get him.
Sadly, though, it appears someone else got to him first. Dude was really hated, wasn't he? Damn.
So Smoke just sent me to cover it up instead.
He doesn't want anyone solving or giving any respect to the man.
You wanted to expose whatever the hell happened, so I had to take you down. You get that?
Ooishi
I see... I see... Na-ha-ha-ha!
I won't need to ship you to the Sonozaki Family after all!
But weren't you friends with the girl that also got murdered in a similar way?
More than that, the girl was murdered by a different person than Tomitake.
She was murdered by the guy I was fighting!
HS Boy
Man, you think I give a fuck about some clown and a trashbag ho from school?
You really gotta learn how the hood works, homie. It's all about climbin' the ranks!
Bitch probably was smokin' crack too. Wouldn't stop talking about this TFR stuff.
I told her again and again that BCW was where it was at...
And she called it a "dead fed", can you believe that?
Saying such a thing just because the owners had to take a leave of absence?
Some people never learn man, some people never learn!
Ooishi
...I'll be taking my leave now.


Ooishi leaves and appears to be in the parking lot.

Ooishi
I can't believe he fell for it! The oldest trick in the book!
As if I'd ever be in contact with the Sonozakis...

Match 4[edit | edit source]

  1. Ooishi Kuraudo
  2. Big Smoke
  • Normal Match
  • Results
    • Big Smoke
      • Winner

Lore 3[edit | edit source]


[Haze storms down the hall, fucking SEETHING over his loss]

Haze
GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT HAZE!
HOW COULD I LET THAT FUCK GET AWAY?! FUCK!
Juno
Calm down Haze, it's just one matc-
Haze
FUCK, AH, GODDAMMIT, YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!
I'm still not used to this voice in my head thing. I think I prefer using FreeFlow to chat.
Juno
If you really prefer it, sure.


****[Haze opens up the FreeFlow chat application on his phone]****

JJ&E
so fukcgin amd abotut the match FUCKK
Junodriver44
You always make typos when you're mad. Maybe you should forget this wrestling stuff and come back to your friends, I've gotten in contact with some of them and they're worried about you.
JJ&E
well tell them I'm fine, they can watch me on TV or whatever this shitty wrestling thing is shown on.
Junodriver44
You probably should've stayed in the hospital longer Haze, so you had more time to heal.
JJ&E
it's healed enough and i can move, don't worry about me so much, and not like I could stay with gabe on my tail. i should've got this on my phone way earlier, much more convenient
Junodriver44
You know what's even more convenient? Just being able to talk to each other without typing.
JJ&E
fair enough. I just like having only one voice in my head, me.
Junodriver44
Well toooooooo bad, you get my voice in your head forever now!
JJ&E
I'd rather have braindamage and REAL voices in my head.
Junodriver44
Well, keep losing and that may become a reality!


*JJ&E has logged out*
[Haze shuts down freeflow out of anger]


Haze
Fuck you.
Juno
Oh come on, everyone loses sometimes.
You just gotta keep a cool head, you can't let your anger control you.
Also, I noticed you look more cleaned up than you looked in the hospital, what happened?
Haze
One of the makeup artists here said my hair looked like a mop and begged me to let them cut it.
And it's chilly in here, so I stole a jacket.
Anyway you're right, this is more convenient.
Though it may be useful to use FreeFlow to chat with you silently, in case anyone is listening in.
Juno
Good point.
Well, what's your plan now?
You scared Dan off, and from what I've been able to gather he's being much more careful now.
Haze
If you try fighting him again, he'll probably be prepared for you.
I'll think of something, I'm not stupid.
Juno
Dan isn't some random no name pedophile like the ones you've killed before, this guy has influence.
I will try to keep an eye on him, there's a good chance he will try to get you removed for his safety.
Haze
Thanks. Now, what to do...

Match 5[edit | edit source]

  1. Men With a Plan (Dutch Van Der Linde & Ruber)
  2. The Blunder Kings (Raiden & King)
Dutch Van Der Linde ➡️ Raiden
  • 2v2 Tag Team
  • Results
    • Men With a Plan
      • Winner

Lore 4[edit | edit source]


(at the hospital reception desk, i guess)

???
...I came here to see... Uhhh... I think he should be listed under the name 'Yu Narukami'.
Receptionist
His room is over there.
???
Understood. I'll be going.


(walks into his hospital room)

???
I'm finally here, M-


(nurse appears)

Nurse
Anything I can help you with, sir?
???
...Where is he? Where did he go?
Nurse
You mean Mr. Narukami, right?
I... Don't know... I think he escaped...
???
The hell do you mean 'he escaped', aren't you guys supposed to be watching him?
Nurse
My apologies, sir... We've been understaffed for the last few days...
And our best doctor has been injured in a fight...
And Mr. Narukami... He was acting crazy never since he arrived.
He would scream something about 'despair' taking everything from him...
And that he'll destroy 'despair'...
I thought it would be better to give him some time alone... I-I'm sorry!
???
...


(punches wall)

???
Honestly... This is why I hate normal people.

Match 6[edit | edit source]

  1. Master Chief
  2. Kratos
  3. Mario
Mario ➡️ Master Chief
Kratos ➡️ Mario
  • Triple Threat
  • Results
    • Kratos
      • Winner

Lore 5[edit | edit source]

Janitor
My time has finally come.
My hard work has proven itself and people have acknowledged my hard, unpaid work.
There's a grand adversary seeking to defile this entire board.
And I'll be the one who'll bring down the hammer of justice upon him.
For the justice shall prevail.
Alright... Headset on... Let's get to work.
I have to find every post by that priest... This is first for me.
"The priest smiles"...? Delete.
Phew, this is quite intense, I need to restore my health...
At this work without monetary compensation, only these delicacies can satiate my hunger.
"DIMES"...? Delete. "Cute and funny"...? Delete.
Let's get some of this Nutri Deli... And back to work!

Lore 6[edit | edit source]

Dante
Dammit, seems like I suck at being a detective!
Maybe I really do need help after all... But who?
All of the mystery guys seem to be busy with their own stuff!


(Dante walks around and meets Demi-fiend)

Dante
...Hey, you, what are YOU doing here?
Demi-fiend
...
Dante
You know what? This must be fate! You're just who I need right now!
So, you know I have a brother, right?
Well, you see, some weird things have been happening lately...
Some people seem to not be around much anymore, and he's gone missing too, and...
Demi-fiend
...


(Demi-fiend leaves)

Dante
Hey, wait, where are you going?


(Dante follows Demi-fiend)

Dante
You want me to go into this room?
Why? Did you find him?
Guess it sounds like Vergil to do something like that. Must be reading another one of his books...


(Dante enters the room)
(Vergil is standing here)


Dante
Vergil!
Vergil
...
Dante
Hey, what's up? What are you doing here?
Vergil
...
Dante
This stopped being funny a few years ago, Vergil. Come on, answer your brother!
Jesus, why is everyone giving me the silent treatment today?
Vergil
...You shall die.
Dante
What?
Vergil
We will meet in the ring. Let's see if you're worthy as my opponent.
Dante
...

Match 7[edit | edit source]

  1. Dante (w/ Demi-fiend at the ringside)
  2. Vergil
  • Normal Match
  • Results
    • Vergil
      • Winner

Lore 7[edit | edit source]

Narukami?
There you are, despair...
Joker
AHAHAHAHAH! Look whooooo's baaaack!
Joker
What, do you want a bigger beating? I've got a lot left in the taaaank!
Joker
And here I was thinking you getting sent to the hospital by that guy was a tragedy!
Joker
But now I realize it's a comedy!
Narukami?
Adachi...
Joker
Hmmm? You know that's not what go by anymore, riiight?
Narukami?
Kill yourself right now.
Joker
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Joker
You know, you're even funnier than I remember!
Narukami?
Then I've got no choice...


(Enter Rean)

Rean
HEY! Did anybody see where that cute silver-haired girl went?
Narukami?
You... Not aga-
Rean
I was sure she was coming here to dress up!
Joker
Wha-
Rean
Haha! Guess I missed my chance!
Narukami?
STOP WITH TH-
Rean
Next time I'll get her! She needs to be taught a few... wrestling lessons!
Joker
Are yo-
Rean
Such potential! I bet headpatting her ahoge feels great!
Yu & Joker
SHUT THE HELL UP!
Rean
Oh, sorry, haha! I didn't notice you two were here!
Joker
It's him...
Narukami?
This man... Another remnant of despair... I shall take him down!
Joker
It's... It's...
Joker
Yu... I'm sorry to say, but... I've got my eyes set on a bigger Chad!
Narukami?
...
Narukami?
Even if I have to make you both into victims, even if it means my death, I shall destroy despair.
Narukami?
That is my resolve!
Rean
Haha! I wonder what you two are talking about...
Rean
Well, I'll be going to the ring now! I'm gonna be teaching the crowd my warm-up technique! See ya!

Match 8[edit | edit source]

  1. Rean Schwarzer
  2. Punished Yu
  3. Joker
  • Triple Threat
  • Results
    • Punished Yu
      • Winner

Lore 8[edit | edit source]

Haze
Alright, I'll do what I've always done, catfishing creeps.
Haze
Although, Dan is probably on high alert right now...
Haze
It's likely he'll be using another one of his accounts to throw us off...
Haze
Juno, can you get me anything that could be Dan Schneider?
Juno
I'll track all of the FreeFlow accounts that have IP addresses from the TFR arena you're in...
Juno
Aha!
Juno
I found one that's gotta be one of his alt accounts, 'RogueDS_handsman03'!
Juno
And going through his conver-
Juno
...
Juno
Alright, I'm NOT going through his converstations, I saw enough to know it's Dan...
Juno
With how weird the chatlogs were.
Juno
Looks like he's using 'hands'
extend
\nas a codeword for 'feet'
Juno
The rest is up to you, Haze. Work your magic!
Haze
Please, never call what I do magic again.


[Haze opens up freeflow] [Haze messages RogueDS_handsman03 ]

JJ&E
hey! :) so i heard you like cute hands!
RogueDS_handsman03
oh man i fuckin LOOOVE cute hands, god, please tell me you have some
JJ&E
well i wouldnt message you unless i did ;D
RogueDS_handsman03
oh gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooojfkd;lasnfdkl;sa brb gotta get tissues
Haze
Fucking christ...
JJ&E
what's wrong, you got a cold? :o
RogueDS_handsman03
oh you're so innocent, you must be a cute little cinnamon roll <3 you must be SO TIGHT
JJ&E
tight? you mean like cool?
RogueDS_handsman03
no, I mean the spaces between your fingers must be so tight, they must be fun hold hands with!
Haze
I don't know if that's better or worse than what I originally thought he meant...
JJ&E
oh, it's pretty tight alright ;)
RogueDS_handsman03
please, i beg you, send me pictures of your beautiful hands
JJ&E
b-but i dont really feel safe sending images online, it'd be better if we meet in person!
RogueDS_handsman03
oh my god, it's THIS easy these days?
JJ&E
what?
RogueDS_handsman03
nothing, just meet me at ..........
JJ&E
when?
RogueDS_handsman03
now, please! you're close to the area, right?
Haze
I'm closer than you think...
JJ&E
of course! i'll be there in a few minutes!!11!!


*JJ&E has logged out* [Haze shuts down freeflow]

Juno
Well, that was easy. I don't know how you can stand typing that stuff Haze.
Haze
You get used to it.
Haze
Now time to meet this sick fuck

Match 9[edit | edit source]

  1. Extra
  2. Haze
  • Extreme Rules
  • Results
    • Extra
      • Winner

Lore 9[edit | edit source]


(Raiden wakes up in the parking lot)

Raiden
...Huh?
Where am I?
Oh... The parking lot, of course...
...What was I doing here again?
Oh... The cards! Yeah, someone told me I could get a rare Arcueid card around here!
Is it the musclegirl version, I wonder? I don't have good memories from those...
Well, I could give it another try either way.
Was the card really here, though? Something tells me I should check the locker room.


(Raiden walks to the locker room and finds Date)

Raiden
HEY, DATE! So, you know that one car-
Date
I'll listen to whatever you have to say later. Follow me, right now.
Raiden
DID YOU FIND ANOTHER LIMITED EDITION MAGAZINE?
PLEASE LET ME SCAN IT, I'M CURRENTLY IN THE MOOD AND-
Date
JUST FOLLOW ME, DAMMIT!
Raiden
Okay, okay, relax, jeez...


(They are moving through road)

Raiden
So, you're telling me that we've got a goddamn death game going on...
And you think some priest is behind it all?
And that he's also the one behind killing that photographer guy?
What are you gonna tell me next?
That I'm gonna meet a 124 year old man with an alien fax machine and the power to mind hack?
Ahahahahah! You silly bastard!
What, what are you saying, Doktor? That actually happened? HAHAHAHA! You're funny too!
Date
Can you believe me for once? Or are you only able of taking porn seriously?
Aiba
Look who's talking again...
Date
Aiba, not now!


(They approach the church)

Date
He should be inside this church. Probably scheming the next step of his plan.
Raiden
Got it.


(They enter the church)
(Kirei is standing here with his hand lifted up)


Raiden
We got you, Kirei! You're coming with us!
Kirei
I see you've finally arrived.
Date
We're here because we're tired of your sick games! Let's end this like men!
We're challenging you, Kirei. You and your servant!
Kirei
I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure I already have an opponent for tonight.
Date
The janitor? Are you kidding me?
Kirei
Oh? No. I wouldn't worry about him. I'm sure he's taking care of... more important matters right now.
I'm talking about Jensen. I will be taking his title tonight.
Raiden
Over our dead bodies!
Date
Yeah! I'd rather die than let you get to him!
Kirei
Well... It seems I have no other choice then...
Gentlemen, let us head to the ring.
Date
I'll lead the way.


(They exit the church)

Kirei
Oh, just one more thing... About what you just said...
Rejoice, boy. Your wish will, at last, come true.


(Kirei summons a huge fucking boulder)

Date & Raiden
EH? WHAT THE FUCK?


(Date and Raiden start running from the boulder)

Date
WHERE DID HE GET THAT FROM?
Raiden
WHO KNOWS? I DON'T THINK I CAN CUT THROUGH IT EITHER!
Date
WHAT DO WE DO? IT WON'T STOP FOLLOWING US!!!
Raiden
I DON'T KNOW, MAN! WE'RE SCREWED!
Date
AIBA! WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO?
Aiba
I'll run my simulations...


(Aiba does simulations)

Aiba
Got it!
Date, scream "aryan sperm" as loud as you possibly can!
Date
What?
The hell do you mean?
Aiba
Do you want to live or not? Just do it!
Date
...
AAAAAAAAARYAAAAAAAAAN SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERM!
???
LEON? IS LEON OVER THERE?


(Chris appears out of nowhere)

Chris
OH, IT'S YOU TWO!
Date
HELP, PLEASE, LOOK AT WHAT'S COMING FOR US!
Chris
IS LEON INSIDE THAT BOULDER? IT LOOKS LIKE A SPECIAL ONE!
IS HE BEHIND IT? IS THE BRIEFCASE UP THERE?
Date
YEAH! T-THERE'S FRESHLY SQUEEZED ARYAN SPERM UP THAT HILL!
Chris
HEH, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO FACE AN OLD FRIEND, THEN! FOR CLAIRE!
GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT, YOU BIG OL' ROCK!
YOU TWO, GO! I'LL HANDLE THIS MYSELF!
Date
THANK YOU!
Raiden
THANKS A LOT, SIR! PLEASE, BE CAREFUL!


(Date and Raiden leave)
(Chris tackles the boulder)


Chris
HAH, AS IF I'D LOSE TO ONE OF THOSE...


(X intensifies)
(Chris get ran over by the boulder)


Match 10[edit | edit source]

  1. Solid Snake
  2. Rance
  3. Gene
  4. Serge
  5. Door-kun
  6. Aniki
  7. Ichiban Kasuga
  8. Geralt of Rivia
Solid Snake ➡️ Door-kun
Gene ➡️ Ichiban Kasuga
Rance ➡️ Aniki
Geralt of Rivia ➡️ Solid Snake
Gene ➡️ Rance
Serge ➡️ Gene
Geralt of Rivia ➡️ Serge
  • 8-Man Elimination
  • Results
    • Geralt of Rivia
      • Winner

Lore 10[edit | edit source]


(Kirei & Dimitri entrance)
(Date and Raiden appear)


Date
...We made it.
Raiden
For situations like this, I made sure to develop great stamina in my training!
Date
...I'd rather not hear about it.
Raiden
We need to find the priest!
Date
He'll pay for what he's done, don't worry.
Aiba
Date! He's in the ring right now!


(Cuts to Kirei in the arena)

Kirei
...And that's why I came here to challenge you, Jensen!
Your title is the only one I don't have right now!
There's no claim to it more legitimate than mine, at the present moment!
And your #1 was unfortunately injured in battle... Meaning no one else is a better choice right now!
So rejoice, and come out at once to defend your championship!
We shall prove who is more deserving of such a blessing!
Dimitri
And once your wish is granted, master... Then Edelgard...!


(Date and Raiden entrance interrupts them)

Date
Now hold on a minute, you dirty little shit!
Kirei
Impossible... How did you escape my trap?
Raiden
You tried to take us out... But don't think you got so lucky just yet!
Date
A noble... friend... made a honorable sacrifice for this to happen!
And we'll make sure it was all worth it!
Raiden
Kirei, Dimitri, if you want to get to Jensen... You'll have to get through us first!
Date
We're challenging you two to a tag team championship match!
Kirei
...
Dimitri
...We accept your challenge! Come forth!
Kirei
...Indeed, indeed...
Raiden
We will end this madness!
Doktor!
Date
Aiba!
Date & Raiden
TURN OFF MY COOM INHIBITORS!

Match 11[edit | edit source]

  1. Master & BERSERKER (Kirei Kotomine & Dimitri Blaiddyd)
  2. The Coomer Gang (Kaname Date & Raiden)
Kirei Kotomine ➡️ Kaname Date
  • 2v2 Tag Team
  • Results
    • Master & BERSERKER
      • Winner