S5E8

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Lore 1[edit | edit source]

???
It's a shame it's come to this... After you've done so much for us...
Little did you know, from the start, this moment was bound to happen.
I promise to stop him. I promise to bring it all back.
You've done well... You really have.
But It's time for you to rest now.
So... If you'll excuse me... I'll be taking this.
Goodbye... Friend.

Lore 2[edit | edit source]

La Parka
AHAHAHAH! Welcome again, everyone!
First of all, I'd like to congratulate you all!
You've found all of the dolls I hid in the middle of you all during this death game!
After the last episode, all of them have been eliminated, and properly executed!
Saihara
Dolls? Between us? D-Do you mean...?
La Parka
Yep! Not all of you 60 were real participants! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
As a test of their capabilities, I hid a total of FIVE dolls between you all! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
And guess what? They fooled you tremendously!
Wright
Who? Who were they?
La Parka
Ooooh, you think I'd just reveal it all like that?
Use your brains! Maybe you'll figure some of it out! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Wright
Ugh...
La Parka
Either way, even after such small victories, your numbers keep reducing, week after week!
Soon enough, only one will be left!
Isn't that fun? It's a competition where you have to push yourself to your mental and physical limits!
AHAHAHAHAHAH!
And just like that, thirty eight have already perished!
I can't wait to see who's going out next!
Tony
Screw you!
La Parka
AHAHAHAHAHAH! ...Who are you again?
AAAAAANYWAY, you've seen what my dolls can do last week, but that was just a showcase!
I have a few more of them to introduce to you!
They should come from that door over there in 3... 2... 1...


(CUT BACK TO MEETING ROOM)
(DOLLS BLOCK YOUR PATH)


Armstrong
Interesting...
Majima
Hey, aren't those...?
La Parka
YEEEEEP, those are all some of the victims already killed by this game!
As you can see, I'm such a good man that I carefully selected among all the victims...
Specifically those none of you were good friends with, too!
I wouldn't wanna cause such heartache, would I? AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Or maybe, I just wanna deny you the pleasure of talking with any of those old friends again!
Even if they aren't really the friends you actually got to know!
Which one is it? I wonder? AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Agent 47
I saw Max! I saw him last week! Where is he?! Where is he?!
La Parka
Hmmm? Maybe you really are going crazy! I was specially careful not to order a doll of him!
Agent 47
You're lying again! You have to be! Max is there! I KNOW IT!
La Parka
AHAHAHAHAH! I do have to say, seeing you like that is pretty amusing!
Agent 47
Aaaaaaaaaaahh?! You call this amusing?! What's wrong with your head?!! Die!
Go slice your head to bits and look inside, you'll see there's nothing there!!!
I won't forgive you!! How could you do something so cruel?!!
I've sometimes thought you could be a bit funny, but I'll never make that mistake again!
You're just a monster who's cruel on all levels!!! Don't show yourself in front of me!! Never again!!
I won't accept you! I won't talk with you! I don't even want to look at your face!!
Did you hear me?!! Don't show yourself in front of me!
DISAPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!


[47 RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM SCREAMING]

La Parka
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
THIS IS TOO GOOD! THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR!
If you could call whatever I am right now "living", anyway! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Well, back to the topic at hand!
Those dolls, they will probably not recognize any of you. My... business partner made sure they wouldn't.
However, they do know what their goal is here. TO FIGHT! AHAHAHAHAHA!
I have prepared special matchups for you guys!
And who knows what they might be? Maybe, you'll even have to team up with my other dolls to fight the new ones!
Or maybe, you'll fight between yourselves! Maybe, you'll cooperate with the new dolls!
WHO KNOWS, UNTIL THE MATCH ACTUALLY STARTS?!
That just makes it all the more EXCITING!
Hyde
Wait... That guy over there, was he in this game?
La Parka
Oooh, you're talking about our dear ol' Postal Dude?
Yep! He was in one of the first rumbles. Shamefully, he's gone now.
Hyde
That guy... I remember him... A few months ago...
Hey, Shuichi, did he also approach you with that one petition of his?
Saihara
Huh? Yeah... What was that about again?
Wright
It was actually a list.
Edgeworth
If I recall correctly, he was taking names for the "First Ever World Wrestling Convention"...
Which would take place at the meeting room...
Hyde
A... Convention? At this very meeting room?
Do any of you remember the date this convention was gonna take place on?
Saihara
Hmmm... Now that I think about it... I think the paper said... "Starting January 31st"?
Oddly enough, there was no end date...
Wright
...
Edgeworth
...
Hyde
...
La Parka
OOOOOOOHHHH, SO YOU FINALLY GET IT? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
THE REASON YOU'RE HERE, IS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!
YOU SIGNED YOUR OWN NAMES IN THE LIST!
ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS? AHAHAHAHAHAH!
THE CONVENTION WAS, IN FACT, A BIG OL' WRESTLING SHOW FOR OUR VIEWERS!
BUT NOT ONLY THAT, IT WAS A WRESTLING DEAAATH GAAAAAAME!
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Majima
Stop messin' around! I will kick your ass!
Armstrong
I would never sign a petition for anything other than my own campaign, dammit!
La Parka
Oh man, seeing your faces right now... It's priceless!
And the fact you're denying it makes everything even better!
You're all stuck here because you signed a goddamn paper! That's what got you the invite!
Most of you didn't even pay any mind to it! You were just trying to help some dude out!
Well, look at where your generosity got you!
That's why the only feelings you should harbor here are hatred and despair! AHAHAHAHA!
This was really, really fun! I had a blast! Buuut, It's time for me to go nooooow!
I will see you again when it's close to voting time!
Haaaappyyyyy kiiiilliiiiiiiing!
Everyone
GODDAMMIT!

Match 1[edit | edit source]

  1. Johnny Knoxville
  2. Tony Hawk
  • Falls Count Anywhere
    • For 1-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Johnny Knoxville
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Match 2[edit | edit source]

  1. Mystery Masters (Saihara Shuichi & Kyle Hyde)
  2. Char Aznable & Amuro Ray
  • 2v2 Tag Team Match
    • For 1-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Mystery Masters
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Lore 3[edit | edit source]

Drake
Hey, you, on the TV, come in again!
La Parka
The hell do you want? Wanna tap out? Want me to bring you to the ride?
AHAHAHAHAHA!
Drake
Not yet... Although it doesn't sound that bad right now...
Compared to what I've been through...
I just wanted to know, what's my match for tonight?
La Parka
Oh, you are scheduled for a 4 on 4 match! Good luck surviving this week! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Drake
4 on 4? Who are my partners, then?
La Parka
Well, no one wanted to be! Isn't that funny?
You have no one that loves or respects you around anymore! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Sooo, I just had to convince 3 of my dolls to tag with you!
Pathetic, huh? AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Drake
Who are they? Who did you bring to be my partner?
You lied about not getting dolls that are close to us, didn't you?!
La Parka
Well, smartass, why don't you go to the ring and find out?
Drake
...
Hey, you, in the corner of the room! What are you doing here?!
Ulmeyda
...
Drake
Don't ignore me! You've been standing like that, staring into the distance ever since that day!
The day we lost the people most important to us! My partner... Your partner!
Ulmeyda
...
Drake
Just do something already! Get up! FIGHT! It's useless to just stand and mourn like this!
Ulmeyda
...
Drake
Are you really this... broken, over all of it?
Ulmeyda
...
Drake
I guess there really is nothing I can do... I'm sorry.
Ulmeyda
...

Match 3[edit | edit source]

  1. The Court (Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth), Raymond Shields, Winston Payne
  2. Drake Bell, Josh Peck, Brendan Fraser, ZUN
  • 4v4 Tag Team Match
    • For 1-Week Immunity

Phoenix Wright (count-out)
ZUN (count-out)
Brendan Fraser → Miles Edgeworth
Raymond Shields → Brendan Fraser
Winston Payne → Drake Bell
Winston Payne → Josh Peck
  • Results
    • The Court (Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth), Raymond Shields, Winston Payne
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Match 4[edit | edit source]

  1. Mr. America
  2. Winnie the Pooh
  • Normal Match
    • For 1-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Mr. America
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Lore 4[edit | edit source]

Pegasus
Erwin... Why is this? I already thought I was close to join you, but...
Why do I feel your presence... Stronger than ever, right now?
Are we... Are we going to that place?
That place I saw through my eye? That wonderful, peaceful land?
This early...?
Are you really coming to get me this early, Erwin?
Are you sure about this?
Hah... Who am I to ask, right now? I always joked about your decisions...
But deep down, I always trusted them. I knew you'd lead us to a good future.
And that you did, my dear friend... I'm so proud of you.
Erwin... Is it... Time to go?
Are we... Playing the game... Again?

Match 5[edit | edit source]

  1. Maximillion Pegasus
  2. Erwin Smith
  • Normal Match
    • For 1-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Maximillion Pegasus
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Match 6[edit | edit source]

  1. Kiryu Kazuma & Majima Goro
  2. Undertaker & Big Show
  • 2v2 Tag Team Match
    • For 1-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Kiryu Kazuma & Majima Goro
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Match 7[edit | edit source]

  1. Mr. X
  2. Tommy Wi- Ryu Hayabusa?!
  • Normal Match
    • For 1-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Mr. X
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Lore 5[edit | edit source]

Agent 47
Aaah, so I've finally found you!
Bane
Huh? What do you want?
Agent 47
You bald motherfucker! I will teach you to stop chasing me around!
Bane
What do you mean 'bald motherfucker'? I've been minding my own businessh.
I'm just thinking about how to exterminate that bat once we're out!
Agent 47
Ooohh, so the cool, cold-hearted assassin is afraid of some dumb virus now?
Bane
What do you mean virus? I'm talking about Batm-
Agent 47
FOURTY SEVEN, YOU'RE A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER!
Bane
What? Why are you calling yourself th-
Agent 47
I can only pity your unfortunate soul, for even trying to go against me!
Bane
Yesh... I see...
Agent 47
And that suit you're wearing? Did your boyfriend make it for you?
Bane
I will see you in the ring, then.


(Bane leaves)

Agent 47
And YOU have the courage to call others 'GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY'? How pitiful!
Hey, hey, and what about Max? Is HE your boyfriend?
I mean, you two are always together, after all! And you want to call ME a cum guzzling homosexual?
Hey, 47, are you listening? 47?
HEY! GET BACK HERE! I STILL HAVE TO FINISH YOU OFF!
IT'S USELESS... IT'S ALL USELESS! UUUUUUUWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


(47 goes after him)

Match 8[edit | edit source]

  1. Baldler Ushiromiya
  2. Bane 47
  • Normal Match
    • For 1-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Baldler Ushiromiya
      • Winner
      • Got the 1-Week Immunity

Lore 6[edit | edit source]

Akagi
Sigh...
Even in this supposed death game... I can't feel thrill at all...
During the deadly rumble I came in 17th.. And by that time deaths were already over.
When I first got into a match, my tag team partner defeated the opponents on his own.
And when I finally lost a match, I drew an Immunity card.
Tell me, how is it? How is it to be in a vote?
Do you feel a thrill of a game for life or death?
With the meaningless deaths surrounding you...
Do you feel like you're genuinely... Alive?
You... The man with 0.0% chance to win...
You've been carried this far simply by the fact that nobody cared enough to vote for you...
How does it feel?
Sou
You're a sick fuck!
You should be glad that you've been getting away so easily!
38 people have already died! And you could've easily been among them!
And you've been carried this far by your luck alone as well!
Akagi
So you're one of those moralfags too... Flow of luck simply obeys me.
Sou
...
Akagi
So... The man with 0.0% chance to win... This time, can you show me the true thrill?


(Akagi leaves)
(47 runs in)


Agent 47
HEY, DID YOU SEE MY MATCH JUST NOW?
THAT WAS A TWO ON ONE! IT WAS UNFAIR FROM THE START!
Sou
What are you talking about? You two were alone there.
Agent 47
THAT BALD HOMO! HE WAS BEING CHEERED ON BY HIS FRIEND, MAX!
HE WAS THERE AT RINGSIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, IT PUT ME AT A DISADVANTAGE!
I'M PRETTY SURE HE SCREWED WITH THE REF A FEW TIMES TOO!
Sou
...
Sou
I'm not joking, you two really were alone there. Max is gone, and he wasn't there at all.
Agent 47
MAX ISN'T GONE! STOP SAYING THAT! DAAAAAAAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!


(47 runs off)

Sou
Fucking freak show...
Sou
But I'm in no position to berate them.
Sou
If the rest of them saw how truly insane that person is...
Sou
They wouldn't be able to keep their hopes up as well.

Match 9[edit | edit source]

  1. Manny Pardo
  2. Akagi Shigeru
  3. Hiyori Sou
  4. Senator Armstrong
  5. Louis
  6. Prince of Persia
  7. Andrei Ulmeyda
  8. Postal Dude
  • 8-Man Ladder Match
    • For 2-Week Immunity
  • Results
    • Senator Armstrong
      • Winner
      • Got the 2-Week Immunity

Lore 7[edit | edit source]

Phoenix
...
Saihara
...
Kyle
...
Saihara
We... Couldn't keep that promise, after all.
Phoenix
Was that... his cruel destiny?
Saihara
We lost him. We lost him again.
Kyle
As if losing him once wasn't enough.
I barely got to know Tohya... And I never got to wrestle Battler himself...
But I can still feel it. I can feel that heartache.
Saihara
It hurts way more than I could imagine.
I thought I'd be over it at this point.
I thought dealing with death, and with those sick games over and over again...
Would make me able to ignore it after a while.
But... I still can't forgive them. I can't forgive what is being done to our lives!
Phoenix
Shuichi...
Saihara
EVEN IF WE DIE! EVEN AFTER WE DIE! WE WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING!
THIS DEATH GAME WILL END!


>Edgeworth walks in

Edgeworth
...I'm sorry, Am I interrupting something?
Phoenix
No... It's fine, you can come in
Edgeworth
...


Silence

Edgeworth
I know you're mourning right now, but we have a job to do, don't we?
You're down in numbers, so the least I could do now is offer my services, as Wright's tag team partner.
I might be a prosecutor, but I've got more than enough experience investigating before my trials.
And I believe we don't have any time to lose right now. We must proceed with our attempts to save lives.
Voting will start soon, but this doesn't mean we should just sit here and wait for it!
Saihara
...You're right, we can still stop this madness!
Edgeworth
I'll be going now. Everyone, split up, let's try to find any new clues.
I heard Kyle over there found one last time around... But it didn't end up well for him, so be careful!


>Edgeworth walks into the corridor

Edgeworth
Now... this way.
Was that box there before? Maybe I should take a look at i-


*BAM* *BAM* *BAM*

???
HEEEEELP! HE'S TEARING ME APART!
Edgeworth
Huh? What?! That scream! It came from this room!


>Edgeworth finds Mr. X and Wiseau in one of the locker rooms

Edgeworth
Stop right there! Just what is happening here?
Mr. X
Oh, excuse me. I was just questioning this man about this game...
And then I ended up tripping and almost falling on top of him!
But just that was already enough to almost destroy him, because he's very sensitive.
Almost like a little chicken!
Wiseau
Hahaha, what a story, X!
Mr. X
Uhhh... Anyway, how's your sex life?
Wiseau
I'll answer that in a few minutes, bitch.
Edgeworth
Can you two just tell me what happened already?
Wiseau
Hahaha, of course! What really happened, though, is that he was trying to attack me for no reason at all!
Mr. X
I did not hit him! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not!
I'm fed up with this bullshit! I'm leaving.


>Mr. X leaves

Edgeworth
OBJECTION!


>Mr. X gets trapped inside Chess Dimension

Mr. X
NANI???
Edgeworth
You cannot escape, X. You'll have to answer my questions.
(My goal is to expose whatever X is hiding.
(However...)
Mr. X
I did not hit him! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not!
Edgeworth
(I have never seen him talking before.)
(Wasn't he supposed to be some sort of silent monster?)
(First, I need to clear up the situation.)
(What were they talking about when I entered the room?)


>What were you attacking Wiseau for?
>Why are you interested in Wiseau's sex life?

Edgeworth
Why are you interested in Wiseau's sex life?
Mr. X
What? I can't be interested in my friend's sex life?
Any healthy adult male would be interested in that.
Now that I answered your question, I'll be taking my leave...
Edgeworth
H-hold it! Interrogation isn't over yet!


>What were you attacking Wiseau for?
>Why are you interested in Wiseau's sex life?

Edgeworth
What were you attacking Wiseau for?
Mr. X
Attacking? Why would I do such a barbaric thing?
I don't recall ever attacking this man.
Edgeworth
You know very well that's bullshit!


>Asking him about his sex life can be considered a harassment!
>I have clearly heard you punching him before!

Edgeworth
Asking him about his sex life can be considered a harassment!
Mr. X
Oh? In that case, I'm very sorry.
It's true that I did not consider his feelings when I was asking him that question...
You have opened my eyes, thank you. I'll try my best to work on myself.
Now allow me to take my leave...
Edgeworth
H-hold it! I have more questions to ask from you!


>Asking him about his sex life can be considered a harassment!
>I have clearly heard you punching him before!

Edgeworth
I have clearly heard you punching him before!
Mr. X
Now that you say it, that might have happened...
But he was asking for it! He sent his goon after me...
Edgeworth
Please, elaborate. His goon?
Mr. X
I misspoke, forget about it. I meant to say that... He's a loon.
It's dangerous to have such irrational men walking around, so I was trying to tie him up.
Edgeworth
You clearly said "his goon"! Stop trying to weasel out of this!
Who's that "goon"?


>Is it the assassin?
>Is it that old man in a wheelchair?
>Is it that ninja?
>Is it Wright?
>Is it La Parka?

Edgeworth
Is it that old man in a wheelchair?
I've always thought it was suspicious...
That some blind, deaf, mute, and disabled old man was just randomly around us!
Mr. X
...You mean Delta?
I'm not entirely sure about his motivations, but I'm assured that he's his own man.
It can't be him.
Edgeworth
(Dammit! But who else could it be?)


>Is it the assassin?
>Is it that old man in a wheelchair?
>Is it that ninja?
>Is it Wright?
>Is it La Parka?

Edgeworth
Is it Wright?
Mr. X
...
...Interesting.
So you really think your dear friend is someone's henchman?
Edgeworth
(I admit I was just curious what you would say.)
(After all, the correct answer is obvious...)


>Is it the assassin?
>Is it that old man in a wheelchair?
>Is it that ninja?
>Is it Wright?
>Is it La Parka?

Edgeworth
Is it the assassin?
Mr. X
I suppose it would make sense, considering his profession...
But I don't recall ever making contact with him.
Have you seen him attacking me somewhere?
Edgeworth
(Dammit! But who else could it be?)


>Is it the assassin?
>Is it that old man in a wheelchair?
>Is it that ninja?
>Is it Wright?
>Is it La Parka?

Edgeworth
Is it La Parka?
Mr. X
La Parka...?
So you think he's the mastermind.
May I ask why did you come to this conclusion?
Edgeworth
Who else would have goons in a place like this?
This is a goddamn death game!
La Parka controls everything here!
Mr. X
Your way of thinking isn't incorrect, but unfortunately, you're mistaken.
This man's goon is someone else.


>Is it the assassin?
>Is it that old man in a wheelchair?
>Is it that ninja?
>Is it Wright?
>Is it La Parka?

Edgeworth
Is it that ninja?
He clearly fought you right on the right!
Mr. X
...
Wow, you got this on your fifth try. That's admirable.
Edgeworth
Are you making fun of me?
Mr. X
No, I'm honestly impressed. After all, considering your situation...
...But we've gone off topic.
You are correct. To be clear, that ninja isn't just his goon, you could say he's like an offspring.
Edgeworth
...You mean, his son?
I suppose it wouldn't be surprising for a man of his age to have a son.
But I wonder how did he end up here in the first place...
After all, we've never seen him before.
Mr. X
...
So I suppose you won't be preventing me from giving him a good beating now...
Edgeworth
Hold on! We haven't dealt with the elephant in the room yet!

>Why are you suddenly able to talk now?
>Who's your master?

Edgeworth
Who's your master?
There's no way a monster like you is just wandering around on its own!
Mr. X
...
You know, I'm deeply hurt by your words...
And shouldn't YOU know by now?
Edgeworth
(Is he implying what I'm thinking he is?)


>Why are you suddenly able to talk now?
>Who's your master?
>Are you working for La Parka?

Edgeworth
Are you working for La Parka?
Because for me it really sounds like you're hinting that way!
Mr. X
You misunderstood... I wasn't referring to...
Besides, I'd prefer to not refer to myself in third person.
Edgeworth
(In third person? The hell is he talking about?)


>Why are you suddenly able to talk now?
>Who's your master?
>Are you working for La Parka?

Edgeworth
Why are you suddenly able to talk now?
Mr. X
I was always able to, I just chose not to.
I had to explain myself, which is why I talked. Is there a problem with that?
Edgeworth
So in the middle of this game for survival, you were just pretending to be dumb?
As if I'd believe something this absurd!
You have not shown any signs of sentience until now!


>Why are you suddenly able to talk now?
>Who's your master?
>Are you working for La Parka? >What's your true goal?

Edgeworth
What's your true goal?
I have hard time believing that this man just randomly sent his son after you!
It seems like he was in a really desperate situation if he resorted to revealing his trump card!
Mr. X
You know, I was really desperate too. I'm in quite a pickle here.
Mr. X
If I don't subdue this man...


>Footsteps can be heard

Mr. X
...Looks like others are gathering here as well...
Mr. X
...You got me. I'll tell you everything.
Edgeworth
...Checkmate.


>Mr. X is freed from Chess Dimension
>Wright and Hyde run in

Hyde
Edgeworth! I heard people screaming! What's happening here?
Edgeworth
Don't worry about it. Just hurry up and go get everyone else.
Gather them in this room. Fast.
Wright
Edgeworth... Keep your cool, don't do anything you might regret later...
Edgeworth
...


>Screen fades to black and then back in

Saihara
What's this all about?
Armstrong
This better be worth my time...
Edgeworth
Just calm down and listen to him.
Mr. X
I know way more about all of this than I've let out up until now.
The fact is... This "man" has a really, really big story behind him.
It all started in the SC labs...


>Start flashback

Richtofen
I have finally reached ze destination.
Zis gottverdammt mercenary, I can't believe he took it from me...
And then to just lose it to that red-haired bastard...
Who then has it taken from him by THAT guy out of all people?
Hmpf. They just love to make my job harder, don't they?
I'm well prepared enough zis time around, though. I shall finally retrieve my stone!
???
Are you suuuuure you're ready, Teddy?
I wouldn't want to end up with another annoying roommate!
???
Bold of you to call me annoying.
Richtofen
Both of you SHUT UP! I am supposed to be SNEAKING into zis place!
???
OOOOH! Teddie's finally being smart for once! Ahahaha!
Richtofen
My word, zis laboratory is... sterile!
It almost takes ze fun out of working in a laboratory... But I digress.
Ugh, nein! You are starting to sound like that oaf of a Richtofen now!
???
Based on what I know, you both sound and act the same way...
Richtofen
I am a man of science! He is a man of evil.
???
Sure...
Richtofen
Regardless, zis facility is supposed to be quite large. This could take a while.
Well! I have infinite time to find that stone once again, so let us check behind door number one!


[TRANSITION TO OTHER HALLWAY]

Richtofen
Good, progress is being made right off ze bat!
If I am correct, zis should be the right way to go, I just need to go through zis door here.


[TRANSITION TO THE SAME HALLWAY]

Richtofen
Another hallway... interesting.
???
TEDDYYYYYY, I'M BORED!
Richtofen
Mein kinder, you know how important zis is! We must do it.
Right, follow ze path!


[TRANSITION TO THE SAME HALLWAY]

Richtofen
More hallways? How annoying...


[TRANSITION TO THE SAME HALLWAY]

Richtofen
Mein GOTT! HOW MUCH OF ZIS LAB IS HALLWAY?!
WHO DESIGNED SUCH A TORTUROUS DUNGEON OF A LABORATORY?!


[FOUR HOURS LATER]
[SCREEN IS BLACK]

Richtofen
If zis is another hallway I SWEAR I'LL-


[TRANSITION TO LAB]

Richtofen
Ja! FINALLY I AM FREE!
Just where is ze security in zis place anyway? What a bunch of incompetent dumkopfs!
???
Well, that was idiotic.
Richtofen
That's ze machine! Ze stone should be encased within here...
Focusing Stone, status- huh? What is this?
It's... MISSING?! HOW?!
???
Ooooh, pooooooor Teddy! All zat time wasted for nothing!
???
Please let me out of this thing.
Richtofen
Wait! There's something in zat slot. If I just reach inside and grab it-
MEIN GOTT?! WHAT IS ZA-


[RICHTOFEN GETS JUMPSCARED BY AN OATMEAL COOKIE AND KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT]

???
Teddie? Vhy are you on the ground? Now is not the time to take a nap, hehehe!
???
If we're lucky, he might just be dead...


>End flashback

Mr. X
That... That thing that attacked him... It was the focusing stone itself. Or, to better explain it...
A parasite that found its way into the stone. That parasite was another one of SC's prototype projects.
It was capable of stealing other people's bodies, and taking control of them.
However, the parasite was completely sentient, even while still being unfinished.
It rejected its own original host body, and after failing when trying to contain it initially...
The parasite had come in contact with the stone, and was now living within it.
At the time, after Kojima had already made his own modifications to the focusing stone...
The SC labs were trying to push it even further.
A series of enhancements started being worked on.
The plan was to have the stone become humanity's hope.
After enough research...
It would become a relic capable of bringing us peace and solving all of our potential conflicts.
The parasite incident was covered up by the employees and never reported to the higher-ups.
The body snatching was dismissed as a regular "function" of the artifact.
However, it was clear to some people in the company that something was different.
The stone was now being handled a lot less frequently...
And an exaggerated amount of special equipment was always used when dealing with it.
Most of the time, it was just being kept locked in its own special place.
This caused conspiracy theories to run wild in SC's corridors.
And, with that, there were more and more complaints...
Employee dissatisfaction reached its peak and people even started fearing for their lives...
A large amount of scientists and executives suddenly quit the company.
But most importantly, the entirety of the security staff quit abruptly.
That man ended up choosing quite an opportune moment to raid the facility...
During the peak of such a crisis.
But maybe it could be considered, in fact, quite an unfortunate thing.
Because now, his body is being used by the... thing that's next to us right now.
Edgeworth
...
Armstrong
...
Saihara
...
Donte
AHAHAHAH!
You know what, this asshole looks like a fucking oatmeal cookie with sunglasses!
Wiseau
Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!
Hyde
Hey, what is that "SC" all about?
Edgeworth
Silence, everyone.
I'm not exactly sure if I've grasped everything you've just talked about, but...
...Just where do you want to get with this?
Mr. X
It's simple. We need to separate the parasite that has fused with this man's body.
We have to revert both of them back to their original forms.
This man, his appearance... It's all a fake.
It's nothing more than the parasite using a human's body and taking full control of it...
To the point where he can shape it his own way.
Wiseau
No! He's lying! It's NAAAHT TRUE!
EFFERYBAHDY BETRAY ME! I'M FED UP WID DIS WORL!
Edgeworth
And how exactly do you expect us to do such a thing?
Mr. X
There is only one way to split them.
I need you to give me some space. Block the exit for me. I'll handle this myself.
Edgeworth
...As you wish.


(MR. X BITING TOMMY'S FACE CUTSCENE)
(FADE TO WHITE)
(RICHTOFEN AND COOKIE APPEAR ON THE GROUND)


Donte
EWWWW! WHAT THE FUCK? YOU... BIT HIS FUCKING FACE?
Mr. X
It was the only way.
Donte
UGH! See! I told you! It's an oatmeal cookie with sunglasses!
Mr. X
That's the modified version of the stone, with the parasite inside. Be careful.
And over here... Richtofen. He should be unconscious for now, though.
Edgeworth
What are you doing? Why are you grabbing it?
Mr. X
I might be the only person here capable of properly handling this. Don't worry about it.
Edgeworth
(Person...?)
Mr. X
I was waiting for a good moment to strike, but it looked like it'd never come.
Thankfully, it's finally back in my hands now.
And I will use this stone to stop this death game!


-> TV TURNS ON

La Parka
Heeeeey! Maybe you don't wanna dooooo thaaaaat!
Not the stone... NOT THIS DAMN STONE!
Out of all artifacts in this world... This one...
This is the worst...
Why did the stone have to fall into the hands of the worst person imaginable?!
I've gotta get it back!
I can say... without a doubt... The one person in the world I wouldn't want to have it...
IT'S YOU!
You should drop it! I'm telling you! DROP IT RIGHT NOW!
Mr. X
Sorry, but it's too late.
Your connections, your transmissions, EVERYTHING!
By the powers of the focusing stone, this timeline is now being isolated!
THIS GAME IS OVER, BONES!


(Transmission cuts off)

Bonus Match 1[edit | edit source]

  1. Rean Schwarzer
  2. HUNK
  • Normal Match
  • Results
    • Rean Schwarzer
      • Winner

Bonus Match 2[edit | edit source]

  1. Reviewbrah
  2. Kaname Date
  • Normal Match
  • Results
    • Reviewbrah
      • Winner