La Parka II

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"Yes, once again, a fight for their life! And for someone else's, too! AHAHAHAH!" ― La Parka

Once a famous wrestler, became the second vessel for the ruler of hell.

Much different from the original La Parka and his host, Mr. Bones, he is a much more sadistic instead of a mere ruler of the dead, deranged being. His one true delight is seeing despair and death.

Master of Despair[edit | edit source]

The successor of the original La Parka, who just like him was a perfect vessel.

On 2007, battling against many heroes, La Parka's greatest achievement was obtaining the Legendary Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur for it's master. It is unknown how La Parka is able to hold a Holy object being Mr. Bones' Avatar.

He may or may have not knocked Excalibur out of Saber's hand with a folding chair once.

Season 4[edit | edit source]

After the original La Parka was destroyed, this being awoke in hell, scheming a terrible plan.

Season 5[edit | edit source]

A conference is set to take place soon in TFR's arena in the other universe, but on the shadows lurks evil...

Episode 1

Once everyone had showed up to the conference, he appeared through the TV to announce the start of the death game and the rules. He instantly beings the Death Game by executing a candidate, one of his most hated enemies, HUNK, by surprise.

To trim off the uselessness, he holds 2 death rumbles between the non-candidates where the first 10 eliminated are instantly sentenced to the wild ride. All of the eliminated participants are put on the Wild Ride Coaster, and sent to their doom.

Episode 2

As everyone is panicking, the TV turns back on and La Parka announces how the death game will operate tonight.

Duke Nukem is still owed that title bout, and if he manages to win, he'll swap places in the death game with Johnny Knoxville.

Carter is not a participant and is being paid by Mr. America to wrestle for him. They will face in a deathmatch.

The two men drew 11 in the rumbles will not avoid death by a hair, and will face in a deathmatch.

Saihara Shuichi and Kyle Hyde will face 3 other unlikely duos, and Phoenix Wright will face his friend and rival Miles Edgeworth.

Those who don't make it to match registration will go straight to the poll, and one of them will face a special opponent: Samoa Joe, a contestant so fearless he fights despite having immunity, and whoever loses that match will be placed in a special poll next episode.

La Parka announces that a poll has been put out, but the only hint was "1D-220". With a paper found backstage, it makes "1DIE-220SPOT", meaning "1st place dies, 2nd place gets 20th spot". He then announces what it really means, as the #1 voted will be excluded from the Wild Ride Rumble, and #2 will take the 20th spot.

Gippo Dudee wins the rumble and his chance to escape the wild ride, and in kind Sacrifice Vote is held with the only hint "+ → -" hinting at it being a Minority Vote.

The sacrifice is Kyle Hyde, who defeats the walking deadman Gippo, banishing him back to the wild ride.

Then, the Main Vote is held. Via Majority Vote, those sent to the Wild Ride are Big Show, Louis, V, Mastema, and Soldier G65434-2. Calypso and Carter die from their deathmatches.

Episode 4

Once again the TV is turned on with the host on it forebonding death, announcing the theme for the matches is "Friendship". Sacrifice, quarrel, cooperation, unity, companion, power, all aspects of it to be explored.

Agent 47 becomes angry at the mention of friendship since Max died on one of the first rumbles and asks about why he is doing this, but La Parka just says that he's merely the host. 47 screams that he'll "question" his servants then, but La Parka calmly states that they don't know anything, and it would break the rules if he did outside of a match anyway. Saihara then notices an old man in a wheelchair in a corner, but 47 just shouts that he's a deaf, blind old man and none of their concern.

When both polls are set, La Parka states the catch: only 10 will be left in the Main Vote, which will be a Minority Vote as well, but the Special Vote will have half of the participants in it die, so the options will be very limited resulting in a higher lethality rate. But before that, the 14 participants of the Main Vote will participate in a card game, gambling for a chance to higher their odds... or lower them.

The Main Vote is held. Via Minority Vote, those sent to the Wild Ride are Doomguy, The Undercarder, and Reviewbrah.

The Special Vote is held. Via Majority Vote those sent to the Wild Ride are Winnie the Pooh, Jeff Mangum, and The Prince of Persia.

Episode 6

From the TV, a looming voice of dread rises. The theme is "Rivalries", and for such an occasion, he has brought special "guests" that have completely Immunity, meaning a safe way to survive.

Upon Kyle Hyde pressing the button, La Parka tells him that he sucks and is on a special vote now.

When 47 goes insane after meeting Battler and seeing him not react to him, and La Parka reveals that the guests are actually something he calls "Dolls", artificial beings that could have another objective.

This causes Agent 47 to have a breakdown.

The Main Vote is held. Via Majority Vote, those sent to the Wild Ride are Samoa Joe, Hachijo Tohya, James Sunderland, Patrick Bateman, and Walter.

Episode 8[edit | edit source]

The fifth part of the death game begins with La Parka suddenly congratulating everyone for having the hidden dolls in the game executed. Everyone is surprised to hear that five of the participants were indeed fake, but La Parka refuses to disclose their identities.

After laughing at the dwindling number of participants, La Parka summons a large number of his dolls, some of which are perished participants of the game. 47 goes crazy saying that he saw Max last week, but the bone man says that he carefully chose participants that weren't good friends with each other. 47 goes even more insane...
Aaaaaaaaaaahh?! You call this amusing?! What's wrong with your head?!! Die!

Go slice your head to bits and look inside, you'll see there's nothing there!!!

I won't forgive you!! How could you do something so cruel?!!

I've sometimes thought you could be a bit funny, but I'll never make that mistake again!

You're just a monster who's cruel on all levels!!! Don't show yourself in front of me!! Never again!!

I won't accept you! I won't talk with you! I don't even want to look at your face!!

Did you hear me?!! Don't show yourself in front of me!

...and runs away. After enjoying himself at the sight, Parka says that the dolls probably won't recognize other participants. Kyle wonders about Postal Dude's doll, and remembers along with the other Mystery Masters that Postal Dude had given all of them a petition, but it was actually a disguised invitation into the death game, and La Parka laughs in their face about bringing it to themselves.

Drake asks the TV to turn on, with the skeletal host wondering if he wants to voluntarily join the Wild Ride. Drake considers it, but instead asks about his match tonight, and gets answered that since no one wanted to team with him, he's gonna fight with 3 dolls on his team. When going to his match, Drake notices Andrei Ulmeyda almost lifelessly in a corner and tries to cheer him up, but seeing as he is unresponsive and thinks of him too broken, leaving after apologizing.

When Edgeworth interrogates Mr. X to find out Tommy Wiseau was actually Edward Richtofen after being affected by The Parasite, and then removes it from him and obtains The Focusing Stone, La Parka appears terrified.
Not the stone... NOT THIS DAMN STONE!

Out of all artifacts in this world... This one...

This is the worst...

Why did the stone have to fall into the hands of the worst person imaginable?!

I've gotta get it back!

I can say... without a doubt... The one person in the world I wouldn't want to have it...


You should drop it! I'm telling you! DROP IT RIGHT NOW!
Mr. X holds the stone high and shuts down the death game, stating that the timeline is being isolated.

Episode 10

When everything is shut down and the participants enter in the now unhidden Wild Ride Door, discovering the corpses of their brethren, La Parka shows up in the flesh (bones?) with the dolls of Miami Mutilator and Postal Dude holding shotguns, and proceeds to obliterate Mr. X into smithereens, seemingly along with the stone. He then orders everyone to leave unless they want to end the same way.

In the meeting room, he explains how the Wild Ride didn't break their bodies, but rather their mind. But seeing as they broke the rules, he decides it's time to get physical as the ones who were going to the poll last time will now face very personal deathmatches, this is how they'll see just how serious he is about the game. When Richtofen wakes up, he announces a meeting after his match to demostrate what will happen tonight.

Before it begins, Drake and Tony mention that the dolls can't be anything but human, and La Parka concedes, that the thing he calls "dolls" are in fact human, to which 47 jumps when being vindicated about Max. But La Parka laughs maniacally at how pathetic he keeps becoming, and reveals they are humans from an alternate time, they likely are missing memories and are in fact modified to answer to the death game host's will, all thanks to his business partners' machine.

Moving on to the good part, La Parka presents what will be used for the executions: A Gun. Everyone involved in the matches will participate in the execution.

Midori Doll executes Hiyori Sou.

Bane executes Human Holocaust Doll.

Garcian Smith Doll executes Andrei Ulmeyda.

Amuro Ray Doll executes Char Aznable.

Washizu Iwao Doll dies and Akagi Shigeru executes himself.

Miami Mutilator Doll executes Manny Pardo.

Tony Hawk executes Max Payne Doll.

Drake Bell refuses to shoot the gun, so Josh Peck Doll executes Brendan Fraser Doll instead, and so he is in turn executed for rule breaking by La Parka.

Dante Doll tries to resist, but executes Donte.

Ryu Hayabusa executes Richtofen.

Once the executions are out of the way, he gathers all the remaining dolls into the conference room.
First, can you see how I've gathered all my dolls here, in front of you all?

Well... my second question is...

Do you like fireworks?
All of the dolls explode into gore, covering the entire room and everyone in it in blood, organs and other bodily materials.

With that, La Parka states that a door has opened that contains the final challenge of this game, leaving to the door.

Episode 12[edit | edit source]

The last surviving participants arrive at the final area of the game: The ring of The Final Trial, surrounded by podiums for the discussion that will take place.

La Parka explains how those who fail on their logic will be doomed to deathmatches, and Saihara wonders if he's deliberately giving an advantage to people gifted in logic.

To demonstrate, Majima Goro and Senator Armstrong are the first to fight.

The first question: What is the full, non-abbreviated name of the company that owns the lab where that artifact (the focusing stone) was modified?

Saihara urges everyone to get as much info as possible, but the discussion is quickly lead astray by bickering. So Saihara thinks back to the story Mr. X told and how his knowledge seemed like a direct connection to "SC", plus the fact that he had never talked until that point. Wright figures what it could mean thinking back on his creator, but just then, the time for discussion ends.Wright, Drake, and Pegasus are up to answer; Drake has a breakdown and doesn't answer, while Pegasus only answers 'Sorry, Commander' to fulfill his wish of dying in battle, meanwhile Wright got the correct answer. Saihara finds it suspicious that Wright knew the answer but didn't share it, but ignores it to keep going.

The second question by La Parka: Who were they? (The dolls mixed between the participants)

Before the discussion can start, Mr. America blasts off about Samoa Joe. Hyde actually agrees, because, in this game, he had both of his arms. As Saihara points out, the real Joe had a bionic arm installed. Edgeworth then points out that the next most likely clones are those coming from the other company, James Sunderland and Patrick Bateman, for the fact that they showing up at all is suspicious and they don't have enough time to consider everyone. Drake then remembers something, seeing a child carrying someone in the room with all the corpses, and Majima adds that the kid was Alice, and the one she was carrying was Walter. Before Saihara can discuss the final doll, time is up and La Parka announces that that tony guy, Bane and Kyle are up to answer. Bane and Tony get the last person wrong and have to fight, but Kyle had thought of taking a risk and then an idea comes to mind: the person who was in the room with the button must have been a traitor, meaning Hachijo Tohya was a doll. La Parka announces the correct answer, but Kyle asks where the real versions of the dolls are, and La Parka decides to answer this once: wherever.

La Parka shoots the third and final question without time to debate: Which episode is this?

Kiryu, Mr. America, Knoxville and Edgeworth are up to answer, but strangely all but Edgeworth had gotten it wrong. Saihara tells La Parka to shut up and explain how they got it wrong, who simply says that they answered that it was the 12th episode of the 5th season. While most think it's right, Edgeworth refutes that this has been TFR from episode 1, which would put the number of episodes at 53, which sends Saihara into shock over it happening again.

La Parka feels that it's time to reveal the truth; much like TFR is a place to solve all of humanity's conflicts, it is also a beloved show, even with it's own mascot, OPkuma. Much like Steel Samurai, TFR is part of a bigger franchise, The Rumble, produced by Team Rumble, with The Final Rumble being it's final series. The Rumble series is actually a huge experiment, a cruel little world where they must constantly produce conflict and fight each other. Team Rumble had done the same with many people before just like them but they got closest to their objective in the current try. The objective was artificial world peace by endless entertainment, and after 52 attempts, the 53rd episode of the 53rd season was supposed to be the culminating point of the series. But thanks to his efforts and a certain doctor stealing the stone that would be used to restart the universe without the undesirable ones, it put a wrench in their plans. And this death game is an act of liberation, to not erased nor forgotten, but reject Team Rumble's cruel destiny. Saihara calls it madness, but the OPkuma robot interrupts stating that Sminem Corporation stock will go up, to which La Parka adds to it's perfect timing, as SC is nothing more than a subsidiary of Team Rumble, and the very heads of Team Rumble are none other than The Bogdanoffs and the false prophet, Sminem. Wright reacts violently to the claim, but Sminem was always behind the heroes while The Bogdanoff were always behind the villains, Sminem could predict the future because he had written it, all for the goal of their artificial world.

That's why La Parka offers the enlightenment of the one who saved him: the priest. As people start to believe, Agent 47 denies such claims, and Saihara threatens that it must be another way to toy with them. La Parka asures that they must think Battler is proud of them... indeed, one of the reason for starting this death game was that white haired man. Tohya springs forth bound and gagged from the floor to everyone's surprise. He wanted to personally torture this man, for he was HUNK himself unmasked, Team Rumble's greatest enforcer.

The skeleton prepares his last question for 47 and Saihara: Who's at fault for your suffering?

Saihara thinks back on everything and how he must want Sminem as the answer, but the more he thinks the more he becomes entrapped in doubt. And then, shining from his pocket, the stone shows him another possibility, an alternate history that did not come to be is clearly shown to everyone, where Sminem sacrificed himself to save them from a calamity. Sminem calls bones for his farce of a question, as Sminem sacrificed himself, and Battler was reborn from Tohya. La Parka breaks down, falling behind the podium. As OPkuma spews marketing taglines, Saihara urges Mr. Bones to face the truth, but, smashing the toy doll while getting up, he states that he has never been "Mr. Bones" fron the very start as everyone had atributed:

His actual name is Mr. BANS as he was given in death, he's the new ruler of Hell and the original personality of Hachijo Tohya before Kojima shattered his psyche: Ushiromiya Battler.

Once the Death Game is complete, BANS adopts a stronger vessel, discarding this weaker one.

Match History[edit | edit source]

Date Type Vs Result Details
30/junio/1995 AAA (Espectro I, Karis, El Duende, Manaico, Halloween) Vs Power Raiders Lose As: Karis La Momia
15/mayo/1996 AAA (Karis, Arunyo, Killer) Vs (Blue Demon Jr., El Torero, Máscara Sagrada Jr.) Win
1996 Los Payasos Vs Los Junior Atómicos Lose
Steel Cage Los Payasos Vs Los Junior Atómicos Win
1997 Máscara Sagrada Jr., Venum, Cuervo, Parka Jr. Vs Los Vipers Lose As: La Parka Jr.
1999 Los Junior Atómicos Vs Los Vatos Locos Win
2001 La Parka Jr., Latin Lover, Abismo Negro, Heavy Metal Win Rey de Reyes


As: La Parka Jr.
La Parka Jr., Máscara Sagrada Vs El Texano, Pirata Morgan Win For Mexican National Tag Team Title

As: La Parka Jr.

2003 La Parka, Lizmark, Octagón, Super Caló Vs Abismo Negro, Cibernético, The Headhunters Win
2004 Cibernético Win Note: Unmasked his opponent
Cibernético Win
Super Porky, Dark Escoria, La Parka, Kenzo Suzuki Win Rey de Reyes


La Parka, Latin Lover, Electro Shock y Silver King Lose Rey de Reyes


2005 La Parka & Cibernético Vs La Legion Win
Latin Lover, La Parka, Abismo Negro, Chessman, Jeff Jarrett, Konnan and Cibernético Win Rey de Reyes


2007 Octagón, Abismo Negro, La Parka, Rhino, Fuerza Guerrera and Latin Lover Win Rey de Reyes


Note: The Match where he got the Excalibur
La Legion Vs La Parka, El Zorro, Latin Lover, Animal Lose
Chessman, La Parka, Silver King Vs La Legion Lose
2008 Team AAA (Parka, Latin Lover, Octagón, Super Fly) Vs La Legión Extranjera (Electroshock, Konnan, Kenzo Suzuki, Rellik) Lose Fight for the AAA

Note: Lost control of the AAA

2009 (La Parka, El Hijo del Santo, Vampiro, Octagón and Jack Evans) Vs La Legion Extranjera Win Note: Won the AAA again
(La Parka, Marco Corleone, Octagón) Vs Los Wagnermaniacos Lose
2010 L.A. Park Lose Note: La Parka challenged L.A. Park to a match for the rights to the name "La Parka".

The two signed the official contract for the match.

La Parka went to jail for piracy by impersonation.

He was released just in time to run in during the semi-main event to attack L.A. Park.

L.A. Park faced La Parka in the main event of the show.

Near the end of the match Park used a tombstone piledriver, a move that is illegal in Lucha Libre.

Joaquin Roldan entered the ring, when L.A. Park attempted to use a steel chair on La Parka.

When L.A. Park teased using the chair on Joaquin instead, Dorian entered the ring to protest, but was pushed down by Park, who then hit Joaquin with the chair, which caused Dorian to turn on him, hitting him with a steel chair three times.

Halloween and Damián 666 from the Perros del Mal wrestling promotion run to the ring to chase Dorian Roldan away.

Then they drag L.A. Park on top of La Parka before heel referee Hijo del Tirantes counts for three to give L.A. Park the victory.

A bit later it was announced that the match results had been thrown out due to interference by Los Perros del Mal.

Rematch: L.A. Park Win
Parka, Ozz, Drago, Octagón Vs Cibernético, Billy el Malo, Charly Manson, Escoria Lose Note: Cibernético pinned Parka following a distraction from Taboo, who appeared at the top of the ramp with his son.

After the match it was revealed that Taboo was in fact Parka's brother.

El Inframundo Vs La Sociedad Lose DQ: Parka was disqualified for excessive violence on his brother
2011 La Parka & L.A. Park Vs Dr. Wagner Jr. & Electroshock Win Note: The 2 Skeletons put their differences behinds.
2012 La Parka, Dark Dragon, Tito Santana Vs Cibernético, Billy el Malo, Escoria Lose
La Parka & Los Psycho Circus Vs Octagón & El Consejo Win Note: El Consoje attacked Octagon afterwards, but Parka saved his ancient partner.
La Parka, Octagón & Octagón Jr. Vs La Parka Negra, Pentagón Jr. & Silver King Win Note: La Sociedad debuted La Parka's new nemesis, La Parka Negra.
2013 ??? Win Copa Antoñio Peña
2014 Black Warrior, El Hijo del Perro Aguayo and El Zorro Win Rey de Reyes


Note: Fifth and final Rey de Reyes victory.

Abilities[edit source]

Avatar of Hell A mere puppet ruled by the spirit within.

Gallery[edit | edit source]