Edward Richtofen (Primis)
- For other uses, see Richtofen
"I see Kirigiri in the audience! I can't lose tonight!" ― Richtofen, as he cucks OP out of his waifu
A German scientist in the Call of Duty Zombies storyline, for some reason (probably timeline fuckery) he has somehow made it into the world of TFR. In fact, it seems that both Richtofens from both timelines have somehow turned up. Notably, they spend most of their time making people SEETHE (usually OP) by cucking them of their waifus.
The Man Who Walks The Dimensions[edit | edit source]
There are two major timelines in COD Zombies from which all subsequent "fractures" (timelines) and dimensions deviate from: Primis and Ultimis. There is a constant: Edward Richtofen is a member of Group 935, a research group dedicated to analysis and distribution of Element 115, which are space rocks sent by ayy lmaos called Apothicons to destroy universes.
Ultimis Richtofen uses the magic rocks for his own gain, hijacks a loli'sbody to control zombies, rules the world for a few decades, gets punted into a zombie's body, gets used by Primis Richtofen, and dies with the universe. But then comes back, because time travel.
Primis Richtofen goes on a magical journey across dimensions and fractures to collect souls and stop the ayys from destroying all creation. Some of him die, some of him live, and the fate of the CODZ multiverse remains unknown. He was the nicest one.
Both Richtofens arrive in The Final Resistance, where Ultimis bonds with a purple-haired gal and dies at the hands of Mundus. Primis arrives later, along with another Kirigiri, and survives the Bog invasion. Now, perhaps, The Final Rumble will progress his quest. For all he does, he does to secure a better tomorrow.
Off-Season 1: XCOM[edit | edit source]
Seen in the XCOM 2 "The Final Resistance" storyline, one Richtofen appeared early on, and established himself as a grade A jobber, missing nearly every shot and dabbing on the mission photo in his debut mission. What cemented him in history is his apparent love of what turned out to be OP's waifu: Kyoko Kirigiri.
Soon after, this Richtofen (alongside Raiden, Kirigiri, Majima, and Sminem) died in a black site raid.
Unexpectedly (and much to OP's anger), later on ANOTHER Richtofen turned up, and this time focused on the waifu picked to be brought in by chat because "we need more waifus in XCOM": Aigis (among others brought in).
Season 2[edit | edit source]
Episode 1
Primis Richtofen has brought himself to the ring, introducing himself by taking out Brendan Fraser backstage to bring himself into the Elimination Chamber.
Episode 2
Later on there was a match between him and Dr. Piccolo to determine who was the better doctor, as it turns out Richtofen must've been behind on his medication, as Doc provided him the daily dose.
Episode 3[edit | edit source]
During the qualifiers for the /v/ Championship Belt, Richtofen introduced a mysterious woman to the stage, whom he seems to have arrived to this world with, apparently to make his sudden appearance seem less strange (to the opposite result). In the ring-side, she gave him the power and support he needed in order to defeat the Chosen Hunter, despite Hunter having the power of incel rage from seeing a woman with another man.
Episode 4[edit | edit source]
During the Royal Rumble, Richtofen got eliminated basically instantly, it's theorized he entered just to photobomb the match (and make OP rage), and go out so he can head home just in time to [REDACTED].
Episode 5
As it turns out, the mysterious hooded woman was not a certain detective, but in fact, an unknown entity that Richtofen had brought along for reasons unknown (possibly amping up the Key) inhabiting her body, with the soul safely stashed away in the Summoning Key, and that something will happen once the entity is sent back. So for the last few weeks Richtofen has been "kept company" by a teen's corpse, with a child's soul in it. What a chad.
Episode 6
While walking backstage (wearing a bulletproof vest for some reason) Adachi demanded Kirigiri, or else Richtofen would "face the gamer's fury".
Episode 7[edit | edit source]
Episode 8
After the Mysterious Woman has a match against a strange juden-looking girl, Adachi shows up to make truth to his word and violently taught that "bitch and whore" who she should be loyal to, before sending her to the TV.
Episode 8.5
After a title bout for the King of Jobbers, Richtofen retreated to his laboratory, to mull over the pages of Kronorium and to get back one particular entity. After exchanging unpleasantries with Maxis, who got TV'd by Adachi, her and Kirigiri are revealed to still be (relatively) alive and (relatively) well in the Summoning Key (the same can't be said for the body though). Yet suddenly, the pages of the Kronorium change. The wrestlers were too slow, the borderline event is approaching. The distortion was inevitable. Each and every universes could be put in jeopardy... But, Richtofen's plan is still in motion. Everything is according to plan.
Episode 11
By putting on his gameface, Richtofen revealed that Mr. America and Robert have been removed from existence and trapped in a loop and nobody had noticed, a man from another reality and The Bogs had really fought and nobody had acted like it was wrong, all of that which wasn't supposed to happen yet no one batted an eye. Checking the Kronorium, the Doctor got some terrible news: Someone had visited the Temple of Shangri La and took The Focusing Stone from there. What a terrible night for these revelations.
Episode 12
After a quick photobombing in the Royal Rumble, Richtofen returned back to his book. Perhaps, with its power, he had seen all the fights against Todd and his minions, and had even peered into the TV World, to see Nero and Adachi laying their differences aside. But he cares not for that.
His plan still stands, although losing the host body wasn't part of it, her part is still done and all that's left is her return at the opportune time. The Doctor decided to read ahead, to see what the future brings after the distortion.
"Law and Chaos"? "Knee Deep in the Locker Room"? "The Great Seal und the Gods Rejected"? "The Battler Dilemma"? "Half-Life 3 still isn't released"? Everything felt boring and inconsequential to the future, at least at the time. Until he had seen a photo of a certain man, holding the Focusing Stone in his hand. Under it, there was one simple message.
"Don't call anybody"
Season 3[edit | edit source]
Episode 1
After the strange things happening, The Doc, who is well versed in these things, stepped up to explain to the rest of the cast the anomalies that are happening. At the same time, the doc assures that his masterplan is still in motion and that it will solve all this, but can't share anything about it. What might he be planning...?
Episode 2
As the timelines shifted, Richtofen had goaded Battler on to fight Chris-Chan in his unpowered form, to "rate his power". Yet, there was something way more sinister in the Doctor's plans.
Episode 4
Battler got baited into battling Chris-Chan's true form, to take the Focusing Stone and prove that it isn't magic. What came after that...
Non-Canon When Chris-Chan proved victorious, Richtofen shot him in the head, killing her like he once killed himself. Turns out, that he could do it from the start, but wanted to watch the show.
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Richtofen had been waiting in the locker room for Battler to arrive and activate the stone, to return the timeline back where it was. With that, his work in TFR was done. Yoinking the stone away from Fred, Richtofen revealed that 18 fighters have been teleported elsewhere.
But, that wasn't his problem anymore. He had a universe to set right. And with that, he left TFR as a whole, being just a passer-by to another universe.
Episode 8
Interestingly, HUNK appeared later on the Meta-World with the stone in his hand. Does that mean he tracked Richtofen and stole it from him?
Season 4[edit | edit source]
The dimensional fairy doctor is not seen again since his voluntary disappearance. He could be fixing universes or dead at the hands of a mercenary, but nobody truly knows.
Season 5[edit | edit source]
The Doctor, thought to be somewhere else solving the universe, makes a surprising appearance.
Episode 8
Apparently, instantly following the events at the end of Season 3 where Ushiromiya Battler was defeated by Agent 47, he infiltrated SC to try and recover The Focusing Stone. However, a multitude of events conclude with a parasite embedded in the stone latching onto him and transmuting his body and personality into Tommy Wiseau. After Mr. X bites part of the parasite and it ceases its effect, he then uses the stone to try and end the Death Game, Richtofen still unconscious.
Episode 10[edit | edit source]
However, La Parka ends this little rebellion by obliterating the tyrant, and shortly after Richtofen wakes up as Kiryu Kazuma and Majima Goro are carrying him away somewhere.
Richtofen is then tasked with participating in a Death Match against Tommy Wiseau's "offspring", Ryu Hayabusa.
He is defeated by the ninja, and is sentenced to execution.You FOOL! IF YOU KILL ME, YOU VILL JEOPARDIZE ZIS AND ALL OTHER UNIVERSES!BANGWithout mein help, mein knowledge, you are DOOMED!
There are far greater evils beyond zis death game!
THE WORLD VILL BE SPLIT!
THE KRONORIUM HAS PREDICTED IT!
 This character died in the Death Game |
Season 6[edit | edit source]
Ryu Hayabusa used the power of the Summoning Key that Richtofen's body was carrying to, much like the parasite before it, fuse with it into God-Emperor II.
Off-Season 8[edit | edit source]
The doctor is finally back...
Episode 31
Participates in the Beat The Clock challenge and is the winner of the slowest match. Since he won his match, he gets to compete for the King of Jobbers championship against the other winners.
The Extinct Light[edit | edit source]
...but something is slightly off about him, and he decides to join Amakusa Elite Wrestling as Teddy Maxis.
Episode 1
Participates in the AEW World Title Championship.
Episode 2
He freakin' loves science.
Helps fellow mistreated future star John Witcher with the power of math:
[Background from "the fed" suffers a few modifications] "fed" self - "idiotic gimmick" + "new cool moves" = "new self" [more likeable and bigger chemical bond w/ fans], "backstage politics" = 0, "angles" = 1080, "new self" ^ "angle" = "new self" ^8 = serotonin+dopamine+oxytocin+endorphins, "the fed"("wrestler" × "brass ring") = 0.000001(...); "AEW"("wrestler × "brass ring") = !1 [proven by scientific studies and professional fact checkers]
Episode 3
Despite being at the opposite sides of a certain phenomenon, Majima and Teddy have managed to overcome their differences and team up.
They proved mighty enough to survive the extraction kick par-tay, winning the Title Eliminator match for a shot at defeating the U.S.S. again for the titles.
Episode 5[edit | edit source]
And after handling the USS their third consecutive loss, they become the AEW champions, truly N.T.R. is an emblem of the company.
Off-Season 9: Rokkenjimania V[edit | edit source]
Non-Canon Sandro sure knows how to put an inspiring speech... but is it true? It's time to check the facts! Fact-checking is more important than ever to disprove falsehoods anyone can publish.
Truth is often subjective and depends upon each individual's experiences and beliefs. Very funny, Google. Who knew one of the most powerful companies couldn't solve such a simple problem? Let's see if The Fed's Creative Head is indeed accurate to science and reality! "Wrestlers here make enough money to have a comfortable living in Coolsville, and cover whatever expenses related to work they might have, such as travel and medical issues..." Wrestler salaries range from $200000-$4500000 per year. It's true! Quite the difference but still! Would you like to know how your earnings compare? Take our survey! Wait, why are they asking me if I'm a woman or a man? That's pretty transphobic of you Google. But disregarding that, what abut The Fed's other lies? "[the show] is better than AEW's, and the ratings prove it", well, those ratings are fake anyway, but... Oh! There it is! An article explaining why AEW's numbers are actually higher despite having lower viewership! The Mighty Fed defeated! AEW wins! Hahahah, 9GAG really does have good memes sometimes, but there you go! Fact-checked! |
Feats[edit | edit source]
- In an unofficial match, Richtofen defeated OP, causing him to seethe for 10 straight minutes
- OP's status: 100% S E T H I G
- PLAYED EACH AND EVERY ONE LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE, JESUS CHRIST
- CUCKED OP WHILE ONLY BEING A PASSER-BY. A LITERAL WHO IN THE TFR. IMAGINE.
Match History[edit | edit source]
| Date | Type | Vs | Result | Records | Singles | Details | ||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Elimination Chamber | Nero #1, Goro Majima #5, Fred Jones #2, Albert Wesker #6, Richtofen #3, Commissioner Gordon #4 | Lose |
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Iconic Match
-Cucked Elimination Chamber-For Title: /v/ #1 Contender Note: Replacing Brendan Fraser. | ||||||||||||||||
| Dr Piccolo | Lose |
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| Chosen Hunter | Win |
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Support: his wife Kirigiri cheering him. For: MITB Qualifier
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| MITB | Serge, Armstrong, Battler Ushiromiya, Richtofen, Ruber, Agent 47, Steve, Bane | Lose |
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For: MITB | ||||||||||||||||
| Royal Rumble | S2E4§#/v/ Championship: Rumble of /v/
→Full List |
Lose |
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Iconic Match
-/v/ Championship: Rumble of /v/-For Title: /v/ | ||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Royal Rumble |
S2E6§#BONUS: Not-so Big Headed Royal Rumble
→Full List |
Lose | ||||||||||||||||||
| Tohru Adachi | Lose |
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| Elimination Chamber | Arthur Morgan, Kirei Kotomine, Richtofen, Adam Jensen, Champion V, Mastema | Lose |
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For Title: King of Jobbers | ||||||||||||||||
| Royal Rumble | S2E12§ROYAL RUMBLE
→Full List |
Lose |
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For Title: /v/ | ||||||||||||||||
Dutch van der Linde
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Lose |
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Note: Screen had a monochrome effect | ||||||||||||||||
| Battler Ushiromiya, Balthios James, Dracula, Richtofen | Lose |
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For Title: /v/ #1 Contender | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Hardcore Time Limit |
Hank Wimbleton, Ico, Johnny Knoxville, Battler Ushiromiya, Undercarder, Richtofen | NC | Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006.
Stage: Times Square Note: Only Ico and Hank were actually fighting, Battler was building up speed in a corner and the rest were rolling around in gay baby jail corner. | |||||||||||||||||
| Hank, Ico, Johnny Knoxville, Battler Ushiromiya, The Undercarder, Richtofen | Lose | Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006.
Stage: Storage Note: Undertaker was the only one to pin. | ||||||||||||||||||
| Edward Richtofen (Ultimis) | Lose |
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Game: WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2011
Note: HOLY SHIT ULTIMIS RICHTOFEN WHAT THE HELL | ||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Royal Rumble |
Full List | Lose | Game: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain | |||||||||||||||||
| Lose | Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006 | |||||||||||||||||||
| Lose | Game: WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2011 | |||||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Royal Rumble |
Lose | 『Christmas Special』
Game: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain, WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006, WWE SmackDown Vs RAW 2011, WWE No Mercy Note: Crashed | ||||||||||||||||||
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Lose | |||||||||||||||||||
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Lose | |||||||||||||||||||
| NC | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Ryu Hayabusa | Lose |
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Death Match
For: Survival | ||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Falls Count Anywhere Elimination 8-way |
Johnny Knoxville, Edward Richtofen, Duke Nukem, Jeff Mangum, Spigot, Senator Armstrong, Kiryu Kazuma, Cole Quinn | Lose | Game: WWE 2K20 | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON No Holds Barred |
Ushiromiya Battler | Win | ||||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Royal Rumble |
Lose | Elimination #5 | ||||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON No Holds Barred |
Black Ref, Edward Richtofen, Johnny Knoxville, Tommy Wiseau | Lose | 『TFR's 2nd Anniversary』
Game: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON | Chosen Hunter | Lose | ||||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Royal Rumble |
Full List | Lose | 『Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE Smackdown! Here comes the Pain | |||||||||||||||||
| Full List | Lose | 『Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||
| Full List | Lose | 『Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2011 | ||||||||||||||||||
| Full List | Lose | 『Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWF No Mercy | ||||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Cont. Tournament |
Scooby | Lose | 『Rokkenjimania III』– Rokkenjima Restoration Arc | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Tornado-Tag |
No More Vidya | Lose | 『TFR's 3rd Anniversary』
For Title: Undisputed /v/ Tag-Team | |||||||||||||||||
| Elimination Chamber |
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Lose |
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『April Fools』
Game: WWE 2k22 For Title: Literal Jobber #1 Contender | |||||||||||||||
| First-Blood Elimination 8-way |
Robert, Richtofen, Francis York Morgan, Dante, Komaeda Nagito, George Jackman, Apollo Justice, Arkantos | Lose |
|
Iconic Match
-Blood, Chaos & Justice-For Title: Literal Jobber #1 Contender Note: Arkantos sawdusts himself after throwing himself out of the ring. Tofen finds it amusing.
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| NON-CANON Royal Rumble |
Full List | Lose | Note: ×2 speed match | |||||||||||||||||
| Royal Rumble | Full List | Lose |
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For Title: /v/ World #2 Contender | ||||||||||||||||
| Full List | Lose |
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For Title: /v/ World #1 Contender | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON | Kotomine Kirei | Win | ||||||||||||||||||
| Beat The Clock | Bevi | Win |
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『Summer of 92's 30th Anniversary』
Time: 03:50 → Last! | |||||||||||||||
| Elimination Chamber |
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Lose |
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『Summer of 92's 30th Anniversary』
For Title: Literal Jobber #1 Contender | ||||||||||||||||
| Royal Rumble | Full List | Lose |
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For Title: /v/ World #1 Contender | ||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Extreme Rules Triple-Threat Weapon Restrict: Chairs |
Edward Richtofen, Kaidou Shun, Johnny Gat | Win | 『Rokkenjimania IV』– Chair Arc
→Quarterfinals | |||||||||||||||||
| Dante, Beheaded Kamikaze, Edward Richtofen | Lose | 『Rokkenjimania IV』– Chair Arc
→Semifinals | ||||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Royal Rumble |
OS8E39§ROYAL RUMBLE
→Full List |
Lose |
-Iconic Match-
Stage: North Pole | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON | Majima Goro | Lose | ||||||||||||||||||
| Lose |
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「AEW World Title Tournament」
→Quarterfinals As: Teddy Maxis | |||||||||||||||||
| 「AEW World Title Tournament」
→Semifinals As: Teddy Maxis | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Scaffold Ladder | Teddy Maxis, John Witcher, Kaidou Shun, Todoroki Shoto, Raiden, Raziel, Steve Burnside, Ay'im Ge | Lose |
|
『AEW Dark』
For Title: AEW All Arctic Circle As: Teddy Maxis | ||||||||||||||||
| Tornado-Tag Title Elimination |
Champions The U.S.S. | Lose |
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For Titles: AEW Tag-Team #1 Contenders | ||||||||||||||||
| Tag-Team | Notorious Talent Rising + John Witcher | Win |
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| Tornado-Tag | Notorious Talent Rising
Champions The U.S.S. |
Win |
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For Title: AEW Tag-Team | ||||||||||||||||
| Champions Notorious Talent Rising | Win |
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| NON-CANON Scaffold Ladder |
Zag "5'0" Reus, Teddy Maxis, Majima Goro, John Witcher, Yung Bussin | Lose | 『Rokkenjimania V』– WrestleDream Arc
Stage: AEW For: Science Case | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Ladder |
Ooishi Kuraudo, Dante, Roger Retinz, Teddy Maxis, Andrew Dobson, Zagreus | Win | 『Rokkenjimania V』– Schizophrenia Arc | |||||||||||||||||
| NON-CANON Extreme Rules Elimination |
The King Donte, Agent 47, White Glint, Teddy Maxis | Win | Iconic Match
-King of Chairs: Gone Mental-For: King of Chairs Title | |||||||||||||||||
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Despite his prowess in killing undead hordes and dealing with universe-scale problems, an almost absolute jobber in the matters of wrestling. Is him being exempt from the Laws of Wrestling the reason?
Gallery[edit | edit source]
| 📷Gallery |
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