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"Don't call anybody" ― The single quote Richtofen found for Chris Chan

A soul driven mad by his inability to find purpose. The remains of a man whose purpose in this world was never known to him, so he sought to find purpose in his own fantasy world.

Chris would prove to be the first villain of Season 3, through mostly a fake-out villain.

The Electric Hedgehog of the Dream World[edit | edit source]

Chris was, at some point, a normal kid. Maybe a little too imaginative, nobody expected what would happen of him, especially his parents. The Chris-chan saga has many chapters, every single one showing his slow but sure descend into insanity, it all began with a certain yellow hedgehog.

Season 2[edit | edit source]

Richtofen, after a long search through the Kronorium, finally found a page of the calamity about to come... a man with a golden pendant.

Season 3[edit | edit source]

Chris somehow found himself wrestling, probably the result of some of his hijinks. It was at this time that the events around the Dimensional Merge took place.

Episode 3

"I NAME IS NOT IAN...BRANNAN...SOMETHING!!!" ― Ian Brandon Anderson

During the teams adventure through time and space, Richtofen noticed that they were on the timeframe Chris first surfaced, 2006. Richtofen, despite knowing full well the future that awarded them, taunted Battler with Chris' mystical properties to have him fight him, although his motives for why remain unknown (possibly to stop a paradox?). Whatever was the reason, Battler's victory didn't come without a price: the once innocent Christian now harbored a terrible anger for the misdeeds caused by Battler seemingly out of nowhere, a rage whose purpose would come to fruition 5 years later...

Episode 4[edit | edit source]

The Prophet in Blue

In the later timeframe of 2011, Chris-Chan had resurfaced once more, this time with the Focusing Stone in his possession, yet unsuccessful in his attempt to bring his exact vision of The Merge (perhaps the stone never could do that, or maybe he's just an autist) and, instead, he accidentally merged with his mind image of Sonichu, becoming the corrupted amalgamation of the two. Battler once more challenged the abomination, ready to prove that Christine possessed no magic.

After Battler's defeat, Chris-Chan laughed at the insignificant attempt to destroy the mayor of CWCville, the CPU goddess, the beautiful tomgirl herself. He was too powerful, too great, too... dead, after Richtofen shot him, and proclaimed it was always his intention and merely wanted Battler to put on a good show.

The mad manchild was defeatd, with the stone safe and secured out of her hold, although the separation caused Chris' death. And so, the former mayor of CWCVille lays lifeless, the body cold and lost among the folds of the dimensional merge, and CWCville, destroyed along with his mind.

The one behind this mess, defeated and potentially shot, even with full power. Well, life's simply unfair, wouldn't you say?

Season 6[edit | edit source]

What is theorized to be how Chris-Chan sees Nyarlathotep

Rumors of him coming back surface, of an abomination said to have somehow clinged to life in the chaos between dimensions, of an autistic being clawing his way out after achieving the perfect fusion he desire so long ago, coming back with a mind set on bringing the Dimensional Merge again.

"Sonichu! Soni-sonichu!" ― Discarding speech to achieve his perfect form

Episode 14

As Kojima continues booking the most unexpected matches, Roger Retinz informs him his special guest has arrived, and Retinz promptly leaves to his match. Kojima welcomes Todd-sama and congratulates him for being on board with his plan, but two other special guests still need to arrive...

Episode 15

A great show, Kojima is excited at how the dimes have increased, and need to keep going full gear. Contenderushippo matchu! Titreru matchu! Nonstoppu Actionru! Dutch even puts his career on the line again! And if everything goes according to plan... the Cosmic Egg will be ready soon. The participants still haven't noticed not only he isn't Hideo... they stand above Law, Chaos, and the Resistance.

The two other special guests finally arrive: Black Battler and Chris-chan... The Divine Powers are gathered.

Episode 16[edit | edit source]

It is taimu... preparation for the activation of the Cosmic Egg are in place.

The world they dreamed of... where, by their hands, all will reach true salvation... a world where KojiMax Productions' titles will mold society's thoughts, and, of course, in which everyone owns copies upon copies of Skyrim, Death Stranding, Umineko and Sonichu.

A world where even B. Blattler has his own place. A world where they don't call anybody who would stop them from reaching happiness.

By molding society with his games, Kojima will help them reach true enlightenment. The time to hold back has passed: desu matchu witto troubreshooteru and resistancera again! Hero of Raw versus Hero of Chaossu! Gorudo and Aniki tag against Van-sama and a rong-awaitedo returneru! crazy matchu uppo for botho Kingu of Jobberu titreru and /v/ Titreru at once! Sixu man erimination chamberu matchu! Arr or nothingu! uppo to faito and ruck!

B. Battler questions the chances of someone gathering the "Holy Belt", but Kojima stands that his plan is frawress. Todd leads the way to the Cosmic Egg.

The fateful meeting comes at last: Suou Tatsuya catches up to the GM, and the unbelievable reports about Kojima, B.Batler and Todd awakening are shockingly true. Kojima is impressed for someone to finally notice his true identity at just a glance, and is glad to have been waiting to meet him all this time. As Power is distracted and compliments Todd's horns, Sgt. Hawk appears from behind and kidnaps her, to feed her veggies and obtain something contained within her.

Tatsuya challenges all of their ideals for a new world. As Ichiban prepares for a handicap, Rando recognizes Agent 49 rambling about his plan to win TFR Underground failing, and noticing that red-haired bastard, he forcibly joins Tatsuya's party without his consent. Ichiban teams up with 49 to keep him in line and go against B. Battler and Sonichu, Rando locks horn(s) with the Demonic Todd, and it's Kojima vs. Tatsuya, always has been adds the former, but if Kojima wants to force Tatsuya to use the Key for them... he won't allow it!

The behemoths of Rando and Todd clash, but Rando ends up victorious. Ichiban takes out Chris-chan, but then B. Battler defeats both him and 49. Kojima turns into "Super Kojima" but for the sake of everyone's hope, Tatsuya doesn't falter and defeats him.

As Tatsuya thinks the battle is over and sends Ichiban to fetch Power, Kojima reiterates that nothing is over, and the Great Flood begins, but Coolsville shall stay safe... a terribly strong rumbling is felt beneath their feet, and Coolsville soars into the heavens as a flying city in the sky―the last city in the world. Kojima tells that the truth lies not in chaos or law, but inside the Cosmic Egg, and walks away. 49 leaves now that he's done with FAGGLER, and Tatsuya finally checks on Power who feels terrible, but at least she won't make shitty ego-stroking jokes every 3 seconds while she's stealing Rando's stuttering gimmick. Ichiban is happy everyone seems on good spirits and retrieves the Summoning Key from Power's veggie-fueled expulsion, and the party heads to their final destination.

Todd, Chris-chan, and B. Battler quickly rush toward the Cosmic Egg after their defeat, and vanish inside its maze.

Season 6: Epilogue[edit | edit source]

Let's hope he's finally not such a fuckup on the new universe.

Feats[edit | edit source]

  • Was no match for Battler in his 2006 time.
    • Nor in 2011 time.
      • And no match to a bullet.
  • In Off-Season 2, all of The Shitheads were also under his control, but the group lost power to The Turbanheads and disbanded, seemingly at the same time Chris died in the main TFR timeline...
  • Seemingly killed or at least halted OP immediately after he wrote "Sonichu isn't real" on his face during Tomodachi.

Match History[edit | edit source]

Date Type Vs Result Records Singles Notes
Ushiromiya Battler Lose
W0 L1 -1
0 1 P
Iconic Match
Measurement of the Mad Fool
Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006

As: 2006 Chris, before the trolls or the merge had begun to give him power.

W0 L2 -2
0 2 P
Iconic Match
Battling of the Mad Prophet
Game: WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2011

As: Sonichu-merged Abomination

Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006
Full List
Lose Game: WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2011
  1. Hulk Hogan
  2. Leon S. Kennedy
  3. Nemesis
  4. Battler Ushiromiya
  5. Demi-Fiend
  6. Door-Kun
  7. Richtofen
  8. Vergil
  9. Dante
  10. Arthur Morgan
  11. Rey Misterio
  12. Manny Pardo
  13. Frank West
  14. Scout
  15. Chris Benoit
  16. Maximillion Pegasus
  17. John Cena
  18. Winnie the Pooh
  19. HANK
  20. Big Show
  21. Garcian Smith
  22. Andrei Ulmeyda
  23. Pixy
  24. Commander Shepard
  25. Homer Simpson
  26. Chris-chan
  27. Julius Little
  28. Spider-Man
  29. Reverse Flash
  30. Bane
Lose Christmas Special
Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006
  1. Leon S. Kennedy
  2. Maximillion Pegasus
  3. Louis
  4. Michael Jordan
  5. Zombie Benoit
  6. Erwin Smith
  7. Garcian Smith
  8. Undertaker's Druid
  9. Christine
  10. Max Payne
  11. Chris Redfield
  12. Edward Richtofen (Ultimis)
  13. Manny Pardo
  14. Jonathan
  15. Johnny Klebitz
  16. Andrei Ulmeyda
  17. The Undercarder
  18. Cole MacGrath
  19. Balthios James
  20. Battler Ushiromiya
  21. Alex Mercer
  22. Yosuke
  23. Albert Wesker
  24. Goro Majima
  25. Walter
  26. Dutch Van Der Linde
  27. Edward Richtofen (Primis)
  28. Doomguy
  29. Fred Jones
  30. Arthur Morgan
Lose Christmas Special
Game: WWE SmackDown Vs RAW 2011
Tatsuya's PartyBlack Battler & Chris-Chan Win
W1 L2 -1
0 3 P
Royal Rumble
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006
Full List
Lose Rokkenjimania III』– Past Rumble Arc
Game: WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2011

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • He is currently bitter enemies with the The God Emperor of Mankind, and has corrupted Battler enough to the point where the God Emperor could do nothing to save him.
  • If only we had known the horrors he would commit.

Gallery[edit | edit source]