Aleksandr Pistoletov

The man who brought happiness to millions by swinging his dick and being stickied on /b/, and singing about the wonders of piracy.

Aleksandr Pistoletev(Александр Пистолетов)
Aliases	Alexander Pistols Dongcoper Pirate Gladiatar
Occupation / Titles	Russian Defender of Internet Freedom
Additional information
Alignment	Chaotic Neutral
Announcer Name	THE PIRATE
Tag-Teams	Partners Arkantos
Moveset	Dongcopter
Biographical information
Marital	Swingin'
Place of Birth	Mother Russia
Physical Description
Species	Russian
Gender	♂️ Male
Board Category	/b/ - Random
Aleksandr (Pirate) Theme
Other music
Gladiatar Theme

New Age Russian Pirate

TFR/Season 2

Arrives to TFR to undo it's grip on wrestling copyright.

TFR/Season 3

Fights a losing war to keep the TFRbotches channel up, transforming into Gladiatar.

TFR/Season 5

The gladiatar returns.

TFR/Off-Season 8

From the depths of /b/ archives and the russian internet, Gladiatar awakens to war against copyright with his soldier-in-arms.

TFR/Season 8

The two have become little more than land privateers in armor.

Episode 6

The doorbell to Kamogawa Boxing Gym rings, and Kamogawa Genji hurriedly opens the door to the three recruits that'll apparently be joining the gym show up. But... Zach and Charles recognize that man, Sneed's friend whom they tried to buy coffee seeds before, but Chuck denies knowing what they are talking about. Just before Kamogawa signs their contract, Susuhara notices in the fine print: it's a scam! Had he signed, he'd be giving away the rights to the property—BONK—Susuhara is incapacitated, and with the facade revealed, Chuck orders his hired muscle to get that paper signed with blood.

Zach, Charles and Pardo prove the gym's worth by fending off the two thugs and defeating Chuck; Kamogawa is proud and Susuhara affirms they'd never lose to dirty tactics. The two strongest backups Chuck could find were easily defeated, and run away.

Feats

• Swing his dong
• Got stickied on /b/ (but what didn't back then?)

Match History

Date	Type	Vs	Result	Records	Singles	Details
S2E12	Royal Rumble	S2E12§ROYAL RUMBLE →Full List	Lose	W0 L1 -1 0 0 P		For Title: /v/ #1#2 Contender
S3E0	Fatal-4-Way Falls Count Anywhere Elimination	Aleksandr Pistoletov, Gene, Rance, Balthios James	Lose	W0 L2 -2 1 1 P		Note: Balthios and Gene kept going at each other for like 10 minutes before it ended.
S3E7		Raiden	Lose	W0 L3 -3 1 2 P	W0 L1 -1 0 1 P	As: Gladiatar
OS3E5	NON-CANON Hell in a Cell	Gladiatar, Shingo Shoji, G-man, Marco Rossi, Raiden	Win
S5E1	Battle Royale	Aleksandr Pistoletov, Albert Wesker, Rance, Gene, Tatsuya Suou, Tom Brady, Alucard, Archer	Lose	W0 L4 -4 1 3 P		Note: Fastest elimination ever in a Battle Royale at 0 seconds after tripping over Tatsuya.
OS8E8	NON-CANON	V	Win
OS8E15	Tornado-Tag TLC	The Sons of Sperdo, Arkantos & Gladiatar, The Coomer Gang	Lose	W0 L5 -5 1 3 P		『April Fools』 Game: WWE 2k22 For Title: Undisputed Tag-Team #1 Contenders
OS8E19	NON-CANON Royal Rumble	Full List	Lose			Note: ×2 speed match
OS8E24	Tag-Team Triple-Threat	Gladiatar & Ooishi Kuraudo, The Young Weight, Judgement Sorcerers	Lose	W0 L6 -6 1 4 P		For Title: Undisputed Tag-Team #1 Contenders
OS8E25	NON-CANON Dumpster TLC	Yuki Makoto, Saihara Shuichi, Kaidou Shun, Date Kaname, Aleksandr Pistoletov, Johnny Gat, Adol Christin, Stork	NC			Note: Saihara wins by being last one on the ring technically.
OS8E36	NON-CANON Ladder	Aleksandr Pistoletov, Beheaded Kamikaze, Adol Christin, Bevi, I'm Blue, Zoomer, Ooishi Kuraudo, Hisoka	Lose			『Rokkenjimania IV』– Ladder Arc →Semifinals
	NON-CANON First-Blood Elimination	Van Darkholme, Aleksandr Pistoletov, Gene, Spazz Maticus, Geralt of Rivia, Master Chief, Zagreus, Max Payne	Lose			『Rokkenjimania IV』– Blood Arc →Semifinals
	NON-CANON Sumo	Jacopo Bearzatti	Lose			『Rokkenjimania IV』– Sumo Arc →Round 1 Stage: Dark Arena
S8E6	Tornado-Tag KO	Chuck, Arkantos, Gladiatar Francis Zach Morgan, Charles, Manny Pardo	Lose	W0 L7 -7 1 5 P		Stage: Kamogawa Boxing Gym

Trivia

New Age Russian Pirate

English	Romaji	Russian
"Continuation of adventures Of the battles between yachts All began day after the storm, That is how I met my frigate.	Prodolzheniye priklyucheniy mezhduyakhtovykh srazheniy, nachalos' v den' posle buri, Tak ya vstretil svoy fregat.
Let the guests of the sea Know the might of the pirate That which rules the entire sea, Such pirate is a true pirate.	Pust' uznayut gosti morya vso vladychestvo pirata, Kto vladeyet vsem morem, nastoyashchiy tot pirat.
Banging cannons, whistling case-shot Battle suddenly begins. Sound of metal, bullets and swords, This is how a deathly battle goes.	Grokhot pushek, svist kortechi, Nachat boy vnezapnoy vstrechey. Zvon metalla pul' i sabley, Tak idet smertel'nyy boy.
Two frigates met In a blueish hell of sea. Our pirate ship Became your trouble.	Povstrechalis' dva fregata v sineve morskogo ada. Nash piratskiy korabl' obernulsya vam bedoy.
Our Pirate ship Became your trouble, your trouble	Nash piratskiy korabl' obernulsya vam bedoy, vam bedoy.
Chorus Not Somalian And not Caribbean I am a Russian new pirate. And not Brazilian, And not Indian, I am a Russian new pirate. Yes that's who I am, I am a new pirate.	khor Ne samaliyskiy, I ne karibskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat. I ne brazil'skiy, I ne indiyskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat.
It appeared to us from the sea Suddenly, a sea monster, To our ship it gripped A giant octopus.	Poyavilos' k nam iz morya Vdrug chudovishche morskoye, Za korabl' nash vtsepilsya Vdrug gigantskiy os'minog.
It threw everyone off board And sawed off our anchor So the frigate fell apart And sank all the way to the bottom.	On vykidyval vsekh za bort I pilil vsyu nashu yakhtu. Tak fregat razvalilsya I ushel sovsem na dno.
But our crew was alright, And got to a nearby island Where they built a new ship, Much stronger and faster.	No komanda utselela, dobralas' na mestnyy ostrov, gde postroila korabl', po-prochneye i moshchney.
And so we set out to sea And found that octopus Shot him up with our cannons, Till there was nothing left but bones.	I otpravilis' my v more I nashli my os'minoga. Rasstrelyali iz pushek do samikh yego moshchey.
[Chorus]	[khor]
On the internet, quite like the sea, We are rocked, and we rock And download our rights To ships without decks.	V internete, kak na more, Nas kachayut, my kachayem.
If you write something, Or if you invent something, Hold on in your hands, Your copyrights.	I prava svoi kachayem Na bespalubnykh sudakh. Yesli chto-to sochinil ty ili chto-to ty pridumal, Svoye avtorskoye pravo, Derzhish' ty v svoikh rukakh.
Copyright suffocates Like tentacles of the octopus, Call a violator a pirate, Like at the sea.	Slovno nogi os'minoga Dushit avtorskoye pravo, Nazyvaya, kak na more, Narushitelya - pirat.
Pirates like citizens Have their own laws, No one will like Punishments as well."	U piratov kak u grazhdan Tozhe yest' svoi zakony, Nakazaniyu takzhe nikto budet i ne rad.
[Chorus]	[khor]"