View source for Aleksandr Pistoletov

{{Brand|1|tcr=0|nwr=0|g1=0|ter=1}}{{Infobox_character
| name = {{rubi|Aleksandr Pistoletev|Александр Пистолетов}}
| image = AleksandrPistoletov.jpg
| aliases = * Alexander Pistols
* Dongcoper Pirate
* Gladiatar
| job = Russian Defender of Internet Freedom
| deathPlace = 
| species = Russian
| gender = Male
| company = 
| category = /b/
| themesong = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSpnewpC8yk
| themesongcaption = Aleksandr (Pirate) Theme
| themesong2 = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZEG-zC3Y-M
| themesong2caption = Gladiatar Theme
| team = Partners
* [[Arkantos]]
| moves = * {{F|Dongcopter}}
| affiliation = 
| alignment = Chaotic Neutral
| ringName = THE PIRATE
| relatives = 
| marital = Swingin'
| birthDate = 
| birthPlace = [[Russia|Mother Russia]]
}}

The man who brought happiness to millions by swinging his dick and being stickied on /b/, and singing about the wonders of piracy.

== New Age Russian Pirate ==

=== [[TFR/Season 2]] ===
Arrives to TFR to undo it's grip on wrestling copyright.

=== [[TFR/Season 3]] ===
Fights a losing war to keep the TFRbotches channel up, transforming into Gladiatar.

=== [[TFR/Season 5]] ===
The gladiatar returns.
=== [[TFR/Off-Season 8]] ===
From the depths of /b/ archives and the russian internet, Gladiatar awakens to war against copyright with his [[Arkantos|soldier-in-arms]].

=== [[TFR/Season 8]] ===
The two have become little more than land privateers in armor.

'''Episode 6'''

The doorbell to [[Kamogawa Boxing Gym]] rings, and [[Kamogawa Genji]] hurriedly opens the door to the three recruits that'll apparently be joining the gym show up. But... [[Zach Morgan|Zach]] and [[Charles]] recognize that man, [[Sneed]]'s friend whom they tried to buy coffee seeds before, but [[Chuck]] denies knowing what they are talking about. Just before Kamogawa signs their contract, [[Susuhara Suzumu|Susuhara]] notices in the fine print: it's a scam! Had he signed, he'd be giving away the rights to the property—'''''BONK'''''—Susuhara is incapacitated, and with the facade revealed, Chuck orders his hired muscle to get that paper signed with blood.

Zach, Charles and [[Manny Pardo|Pardo]] prove the gym's worth by fending off the two thugs and defeating Chuck; Kamogawa is proud and Susuhara affirms they'd never lose to dirty tactics. The two strongest backups Chuck could find were easily defeated, and run away.

== Feats ==
* Swing his dong 
* Got stickied on /b/ (but what didn't back then?)
== Match History ==
{| class="wikitable article-table"
!Date
!Type
!Vs
!Result
!Records
!Singles
!Details
|-
|{{Date|S2E12|S2}}
|<u>Royal Rumble</u>
|{{Rumble link|S2E12}}
|Lose
|
{{Record|Wins=0|Loses=1|Pins=0|Pinned=0}}
|
|'''For Title''': /v/ <s><small>#1</small></s>#2 Contender
|-
|{{Date|S3E0|S3}}
|<u>Fatal-4-Way{{Br}}Falls Count Anywhere{{Br}}Elimination</u>
|[[Aleksandr Pistoletov]], [[Gene]], [[Rance]], [[Balthios James|'''Balthios James''']]
|Lose
|
{{Record|Wins=0|Loses=2|Pins=1|Pinned=1}}
|
|'''Note''': Balthios and Gene kept going at each other for like 10 minutes before it ended.
|-
|{{Date|S3E7|S3}}
|
|[[Raiden (MK)|Raiden]]
|Lose
|
{{Record|Wins=0|Loses=3|Pins=1|Pinned=2}}
|{{Record|Wins = 0|Loses = 1|Pins = 0|Pinned = 1}}
| rowspan="2" |'''As''': Gladiatar
|-
|{{Date|OS3E5|S3}}
|'''NON-CANON'''{{Br}}<u>Hell in a Cell</u>
|[[Aleksandr Pistoletov|Gladiatar]], [[Shingo Shoji]], [[G-Man|G-man]], [[Marco Rossi|Marco Rossi]], [[Raiden (MG)|Raiden]]
|Win
|
|
|-
|{{Date|S5E1|S5}}
|<u>Battle Royale</u>
|[[Aleksandr Pistoletov]], [[Albert Wesker]], [[Rance]], [[Gene]], [[Suou Tatsuya|Tatsuya Suou]], [[Tom Brady]], [[Alucard]], [[Archer]]
|Lose
|{{Record|Wins=0|Loses=4|Pins=1|Pinned=3}}
|
|'''Note''': Fastest elimination ever in a Battle Royale at 0 seconds after tripping over Tatsuya.
|-
|{{Date|1=OS8E8|2=OS8}}
|'''NON-CANON'''
|[[V (DMC)|V]]
|Win
|
|
|
|-
|{{Date|1=OS8E15|2=OS8}}
|<u>Tornado-Tag'''{{Br}}'''</u><u>TLC</u>
|[[The Sons of Sperdo]], [[Arkantos]] & [[Gladiatar]], [[The Coomer Gang]]
|Lose
|{{Record|Wins=0|Loses=5|Pins=1|Pinned=3}}
|
|『April Fools』
----'''Game''': WWE 2k22

'''For Title''': Undisputed Tag-Team #1 Contenders
|-
|{{Date|1=OS8E19|2=OS8}}
|'''NON-CANON'''{{Br}}<u>Royal Rumble</u>
|[[OS8E19#FAST%20ROYAL%20RUMBLE|<u>Full List</u>]]
|Lose
|
|
|'''Note''': ×2 speed match
|-
|{{Date|1=OS8E24|2=OS8}}
|<u>Tag-Team{{Br}}Triple-Threat</u>
|[[Gladiatar]] & [[Ooishi Kuraudo]], [[The Young Weight]], [[Judgement Sorcerers]]
|Lose
|{{Record|Wins=0|Loses=6|Pins=1|Pinned=4}}
|
|'''For Title''': Undisputed Tag-Team #1 Contenders
|-
|{{Date|1=OS8E25|2=OS8}}
|'''NON-CANON'''{{Br}}<u>Dumpster{{Br}}TLC</u>
|[[Yuki Makoto]], [[Saihara Shuichi]], [[Kaidou Shun]], [[Date Kaname]], [[Aleksandr Pistoletov]], [[Johnny Gat]], [[Adol Christin]], [[Stork]]
|NC
|
|
|'''Note''': Saihara wins by being last one on the ring technically.
|-
| rowspan="3" |{{Date|1=OS8E36|2=OS8}}
|'''NON-CANON{{Br}}'''<u>Ladder</u>
|[[Aleksandr Pistoletov]], [[Beheaded Kamikaze]], [[Adol Christin]], [[Bevi]], [[I'm Blue]], [[Zoomer]], [[Ooishi Kuraudo]], [[Hisoka]]
|Lose
|
|
|『'''Rokkenji{{Custom Text|1=red|2=mania}} IV'''』– ''Ladder Arc''
----''→Semifinals''
|-
|'''NON-CANON{{Br}}'''<u>First-Blood'''{{Br}}'''Elimination</u>
|[[Van Darkholme]], [[Aleksandr Pistoletov]], [[Gene]], [[Spazz Maticus]], [[Geralt of Rivia]], [[Master Chief]], [[Zagreus]], [[Max Payne]]
|Lose
|
|
|『'''Rokkenji{{Custom Text|1=red|2=mania}} IV'''』– ''Blood Arc''
----''→Semifinals''
|-
|'''NON-CANON{{Br}}'''<u>Sumo</u>
|[[Jacopo Bearzatti]]
|Lose
|
|
|『'''Rokkenji{{Custom Text|1=red|2=mania}} IV'''』– ''Sumo Arc''
----''→Round 1''
'''Stage''': Dark Arena
|-
|{{Date|S8E6|S8}}
|<u>Tornado-Tag{{Br}}KO</u>
|[[Chuck]], [[Arkantos]], [[Gladiatar]]

[[Francis Zach Morgan]], [[Charles]], [[Manny Pardo]]
|Lose
|{{Record|Wins=0|Loses=7|Pins=1|Pinned=5}}
|
|'''Stage''': [[Kamogawa Boxing Gym]]
|}

== Trivia ==
{| class="article-table mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
|+New Age Russian Pirate
|-
!English
!Romaji
!Russian
|-
|<blockquote>"''Continuation of adventures<br>Of the battles between yachts<br>All began day after the storm,<br>That is how I met my frigate.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''Prodolzheniye priklyucheniy<br>mezhduyakhtovykh srazheniy,<br>nachalos' v den' posle buri,<br>Tak ya vstretil svoy fregat.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''Let the guests of the sea<br>Know the might of the pirate<br>That which rules the entire sea,<br>Such pirate is a true pirate.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''Pust' uznayut gosti morya<br>vso vladychestvo pirata,<br>Kto vladeyet vsem morem,<br>nastoyashchiy tot pirat.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''Banging cannons, whistling case-shot<br>Battle suddenly begins.<br>Sound of metal, bullets and swords,<br>This is how a deathly battle goes.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''Grokhot pushek,<br>svist kortechi,<br>Nachat boy vnezapnoy vstrechey.<br>Zvon metalla pul' i sabley,<br>Tak idet smertel'nyy boy.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''Two frigates met<br>In a blueish hell of sea.<br>Our pirate ship<br>Became your trouble.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''Povstrechalis' dva fregata<br>v sineve morskogo ada.<br>Nash piratskiy korabl'<br>obernulsya vam bedoy.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''Our Pirate ship<br>Became your trouble, your trouble''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''Nash piratskiy korabl'<br>obernulsya vam bedoy,<br>vam bedoy.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote><p style="text-align:center;">'''Chorus'''</p>''Not Somalian<br>And not Caribbean<br>I am a Russian new pirate.<br>And not Brazilian,<br>And not Indian,<br>I am a Russian new pirate.<br>Yes that's who I am, I am a new pirate.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote><p style="text-align:center;">'''khor'''</p>''Ne samaliyskiy,<br>I ne karibskiy,<br>A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat.<br>I ne brazil'skiy,<br>I ne indiyskiy,<br>A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''It appeared to us from the sea<br>Suddenly, a sea monster,<br>To our ship it gripped<br>A giant octopus.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''Poyavilos' k nam iz morya<br>Vdrug chudovishche morskoye,<br>Za korabl' nash vtsepilsya<br>Vdrug gigantskiy os'minog.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''It threw everyone off board<br>And sawed off our anchor<br>So the frigate fell apart<br>And sank all the way to the bottom.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''On vykidyval vsekh za bort<br>I pilil vsyu nashu yakhtu.<br>Tak fregat razvalilsya<br>I ushel sovsem na dno.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''But our crew was alright,<br>And got to a nearby island<br>Where they built a new ship,<br>Much stronger and faster.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''No komanda utselela,<br>dobralas' na mestnyy ostrov,<br>gde postroila korabl',<br>po-prochneye i moshchney.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''And so we set out to sea<br>And found that octopus<br>Shot him up with our cannons,<br>Till there was nothing left but bones.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''I otpravilis' my v more I nashli my os'minoga.<br>Rasstrelyali iz pushek do samikh yego moshchey.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>'''[Chorus]'''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>'''[khor]'''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''On the internet, quite like the sea,<br>{{H:title|We are rocked, and we rock|2 = rock = load, 'we get rocked by waves, we rock the waves' which has the double meaning of 'they download us, we download too', an allusion to computer piracy}}<br>And download our rights<br>To ships without decks.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''V internete,<br>kak na more,<br>Nas kachayut,<br>my kachayem.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''If you write something,<br>Or if you invent something,<br>Hold on in your hands,<br>Your copyrights.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''I prava svoi kachayem<br>Na bespalubnykh sudakh.<br>Yesli chto-to sochinil ty ili chto-to ty pridumal,<br>Svoye avtorskoye pravo,<br>Derzhish' ty v svoikh rukakh.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''Copyright suffocates<br>Like tentacles of the octopus,<br>Call a violator a pirate,<br>Like at the sea.''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''Slovno nogi os'minoga<br>Dushit avtorskoye pravo,<br>Nazyvaya, kak na more,<br>Narushitelya - pirat.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>''Pirates like citizens<br>Have their own laws,<br>No one will like<br>Punishments as well.''"</blockquote>
|<blockquote>''U piratov kak u grazhdan<br>Tozhe yest' svoi zakony,<br>Nakazaniyu takzhe nikto budet i ne rad.''</blockquote>
|
|-
|<blockquote>'''[Chorus]'''</blockquote>
|<blockquote>'''[khor]'''"</blockquote>
|
|}
[[Category:Human]]
[[Category:/t/]]