Mario

"LET'S-A GO!"

- Mario before initiating a jump into a parallel universe

Mario, the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. Everyone knows who he is. Even you. While Mario is a universal constant who has the ability to end fights in mere seconds with his perpetual speed building, the Laws of Wrestling have heavily weakened him.

Origins
Mario was once but a baby, carried by a stork. However, the stork was injured mid-flight, and he fell into the arms of a Yoshi. After countless treks through various lands, the Yoshi reunited Mario with his brother, Luigi, and they were delivered to their parents. However, these were not their real parents, merely adoptive ones given to the closest available family the stork could find. And so, in their teenage years, Mario and Luigi trekked to find their birth parents.

Eventually, they found their two parents in an old house in the middle of nowhere. His father, Kario, told Mario that he wanted nothing to do with the brothers. So in a fit of rage, Mario slaughtered both his father and his mother. This would lead to Mario's near endless hatred for trolls.

Rivalry with Donkey Kong the First
After killing his parents, Mario tried to live a more peaceful life in Brooklyn alongside Luigi. He just wanted a quiet life, as one would say. He worked days on end as a plumber, and even fell in love with a beautiful woman named Pauline. He also happened to partake in the Vietnam war. However, this peaceful life would come to an end on one fateful day.

Mario attempted to buy a pet gorilla named Donkey Kong the First (he would later be known on his home island as Cranky Kong), but the ape grew crazy and took Mario's bride from him. Mario jumped across various buildings, eventually beating the foul monkey and trapping him inside of a cage. However, Mario never counted on Donkey Kong's son, Donkey Kong Junior, freeing Donkey Kong himself and knocking down Mario. The two apes fled the scene, back to Donkey Kong's home, DK Island (which would later be plagued by the extremely devastating and gruesome Great Ape War). Pauline later left Mario after this, making him an even more bitter man hiding behind a happy exterior.

Venture to the Mushroom Kingdom
After Pauline left Mario, he was plagued at his plumbing job. Crabs, flames, turtles, what have you. Eventually, he and Luigi decided to discover the source of these pests, and ended up back in the Mushroom Kingdom, where they were born. After rescuing Princess Toadstool from the villainous reptilian king Bowser, Mario was forced into becoming a protector for the kingdom. Day after day, he would rescue the princess from Bowser, to the point where in one instance, where Bowser took over Peach's Castle and gave the paintings there life, Mario learned about his Interdimensional Abilities, and only grew stronger with time.

Anti-Troll Crusades
One day, Mario and Luigi were adventuring the Mushroom Kingdom, when they saw a Toad being trolled by two trolls. Later, Mario and Luigi would both join the Troll Slaiyers, with Luigi going under the alias Mr. L. However, this was just part of Mario's plan, temporarily using the Troll Slaiyers to meet his own ends. When Shadow the Hedgehog had a plan to defeat the trolls by interrupting a concert, Mario was forced to fight his brother, who had defected to the trolls. However, Mr. L was merely working with Mario on his plan, and later attempted the life of the Troll King when he got close enough, though that quickly failed when the Troll King said one of the Words of Death to instantly stop Mr. L's heart, that word being "c̷͟͞u̷͟*̶͘*̡̧*͏*̷̢*̶̧̢͞ń̸̛͜͢t̷̸".

After Luigi's death, Mario revealed to the Troll Slaiyers that everything was part of his plan, and quickly left the group after giving them a quick fight. Mario later went to fight the Troll King himself. The battle was grueling, to the point where the Troll King almost lost when Mario was forced to use one of his greatest weapons besides his Parallel Shifting, the Power Star. Knowing he may be defeated, the Troll King uttered one of the Words of Death to weaken Mario, that word being "N̶͘҉҉i̵҉̨*̢*̷̶̵̀E͏̸̸͡R̵͜͡". Mario was incapacitated, his eyes temporarily blinded, but Yoshi was there to save him.

Grief stricken, Mario eventually went back to the Mushroom Kingdom to train and become stronger, eventually discovering the Holy Star and the pure power that radiates from it.

The Final Rumble
Eventually, Mario ended up in The Final Rumble. It is unknown why he is in at all, but it may be due to his anti-troll behavior that drew him in in the first place.

Episode 1
caLLs out tht fcking troll Demaro

Feats

 * Crashed his fight with Kratos and Master Chief at the last second after building up speed to prevent Kratos from winning
 * Has attained near unlimited speed
 * Defeated Demaro despite his backing from Satan

Trivia

 * Every copy of Mario 64 is personalized.
 * He can turn half of his body into an AK-47.